ChibiRisu-chan (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} chibirisuchan) wrote,@ 2005-07-13 21:11:00 |
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"Sakura-chan, aren't you done shopping yet?" Naruto wheezed, staggering as he struggled to keep a grip on five boxes and nine different shopping bags all at once. "What does anybody need this much stuff for?"
"Souvenirs, of course!" Sakura sniffed. "Mom's always wanted a new rice cooker with a handle for picnics, and Ino-chan would never forgive me if I didn't get her that purple dress, they don't make that color of dye anywhere but the Wave Country, and of course if I'm getting something for Ino-chan I've got to get something for Hinata-chan and the rest of the girls from our class too, and--"
"Wait a minute. Does that mean I have to buy stuff like this too?"
"That's why they call them souvenirs," Sakura said. "Hasn't anyone ever come back from a vacation and given you souvenirs?"
"No," Naruto said.
Sakura's eyes widened for a moment. "...No?"
"Iruka-sensei doesn't go many places 'cause of all the teaching and doing paperwork all the time, and nobody else would bother," Naruto said. "Oh yeah. Once Iruka-sensei gave me this paper pine tree thing when he came back from somewhere. But I think it was supposed to make my kitchen trash can not stink. Is that a souvenir?"
"That's a hint about your housekeeping," Sakura said with half-lidded eyes. Something else settled itself into place behind her eyes, and she nodded to herself firmly. "All right. Somebody's obviously got to teach you how to shop!"
"Er... do you have to?"
"Of course! Everyone has to know how to shop!" Sakura rubbed her hands together. "Okay. Who do you want to buy souvenirs for?"
"...Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei and you and that bastard. And maybe the Hokage." Naruto scratched his head, then nodded. "Yep. I'd buy Iruka-sensei some good beef ramen. --I don't know about the rest of you. I'm not old enough to buy the kinds of books Kakashi-sensei wants."
"Beef ramen doesn't survive in a suitcase very well," Kakashi observed thoughtfully.
"And Iruka-sensei's here!" Sakura added. "And so are we."
"Yeah, but Iruka-sensei's not here here." Naruto juggled bags to free up a finger to scratch his head. "You mean it has to go in a suitcase?"
"Souvenirs are things you take back from the place you visit, for the people who aren't there to see it with you," Kakashi said. "It helps if they're transportable."
"Hmmm..."
"Don't worry about us," Kakashi said, rueful. "We're here to see it too, remember? The Hokage might like something, but the rest of us can find our own souvenirs."
"But I wanna get a souvenir for Iruka-sensei to make sure I did it right, since h- I mean-- she! She -- since she's gotta babysit the bastard and everything! Since Iruka-sensei's a she now, and getting all pregnant and stuff... yeah!" He shot a victorious look at Sakura and added, "See, I remembered!"
Sakura had her face in both hands and was whimpering slightly.
Kakashi silently nudged "large quantities of alcohol" higher up on the shopping list. If nothing else, the bottles could be used to knock Naruto over the head with.
"So if I can't get Iruka-sensei ramen... hmmmm..." Naruto set down the bags, plonked down in the middle of the road, and rubbed his chin thoughtfully with one hand. "What else is there to get h-her? I mean, saying 'no ramen' ought to be against the rules or something!"
"Surely there's something else you think Iruka-sensei might like."
"But nothing's as good as nice hot steaming ramen!"
"So let's go for second-best," Sakura said gamely. "What's second-best to hot ramen?"
Naruto rubbed his chin again, and then brightened. "Instant ramen! You can fit a whole lot of that in a suitcase! I'm a genius!"
Sakura threw both hands into the air, said to Kakashi, "You handle this one, I give up," and stalked off down the aisle of shops and stalls.
Kakashi sat on his heels by Naruto, and said, "Let's think creatively here. What do you think Iruka would really adore, but would never think to buy for herself?"
Naruto scratched his head, tipping it to one side and the other, then squinting up at the sky, then heaving a huge sigh. "I would've said a baby, except s-she's like already taking care of that part."
"Not to mention that you can't buy babies," Kakashi reminded him, silently regretting that Sakura had had the reflexes to dump this project on him before he could dodge.
"Oh yeah, that too I guess..." Stumped, Naruto propped his chin in both hands. "I know h-she reads a lot. Except s-s-she's got so many books I don't know all their names."
"You could get her a book to read to the baby," Kakashi suggested.
Naruto brightened for a moment, and then slouched again. "But s-... she won't be able to use that for months and months."
"I wouldn't say that," Kakashi said, wryly. "Some nights, Iruka reads to the baby anyway. It's not silent inside her, you know. Just like you could hear my heartbeat if you listened -- the baby can hear things outside too. Iruka says the baby always starts to kick whenever the alarm goes off in the morning."
"Really?" Naruto's eyes were as wide as saucers. "...You're not lying again, are you?"
"I've felt it," Kakashi said, smiling at the boy's amazement. "I tell her that's how we know absolutely for certain he's my child."
"Huh?"
"Who else would father a baby that hates alarm clocks so much before he's even born?" Kakashi chuckled. "Iruka tells me if the baby runs too late being born, she's going to strangle me just on principle."
Naruto had a rather goofily fatuous grin on his face. "...Kakashi-sensei, that's just plain cool. Can I read something to the baby too?"
"If you ask nicely, I'm sure Iruka would be delighted," Kakashi replied, trying not to let himself look too sappy at the thought. The mask really was handy sometimes. "So shall we go find a b--"
Sakura shrieked at the top of her lungs.
On pure reflex, both of them had sprinted half a city block in less than two seconds, and skidded to a halt staring first at Sakura, then at each other.
"Isn't that just adorable?" she squealed, latching onto Kakashi's arm and pointing into a game vendor's stall at a fluffy little stuffed blue-and-green dolphin, with bright sparkling eyes and a happy mouth open in a dolphin-grin that looked as though it was meant for "life is good," or "I want fish," or possibly both.
"That's perfect," Naruto said, elated. "That's what I'll get for Iruka-sensei!"
"Hold it, I thought you were getting a book to read to the baby," Kakashi said.
"This is better!"
"I know. That's why I want to get it for her," Kakashi retorted.
"Hey! I saw it first!"
"Sakura-chan saw it first."
"I don't care, I'm still getting it!" Naruto crossed his arms in preparation for a good sulk.
"Only if you can beat me at -- ...what is this game anyway, Sakura-chan?"
"--My presents! Naruto, you IDIOT, you FORGOT MY PRESENTS!" Sakura wailed, dashing back up the street toward the abandoned pile of shopping bags.
Naruto blinked, then yelled after her, "That's because you were screaming your head off! Jeez. See if I come running the next time you scream like that--"
Kakashi, meanwhile, was talking to the game-stall dealer. "So what would someone need to do to win a prize at this anyway?"
"It's just a ring toss game where--"
"--where he's gotta beat me first!" Naruto cut in, glaring at both of them. "Okay, so what's the rules here again?"
Iruka couldn't resist a half-unwilling, half-morbidly-curious glance toward the contents of the steaming bowl Sasuke brought back from the kitchen. It smelled spicy, and there were noodles and less identifiable vegetables and peppers swimming around in the broth -- but, mercifully, there were no signs of raspberry jam, baked beans, or cream cheese anywhere, so Iruka breathed a great sigh of relief and let himself relax.
Sasuke just quirked a brow, humphed a little, and sat down crosslegged by the sofa again. If Iruka hadn't known better, he would almost have been tempted to call the quirk at the corner of the boy's lips a wannabe-smile.
The silence was almost companionable this time; Iruka had curled up on his side to comfort the baby's protests of the pressure of his spine, and now that the papers were all graded, his eyes were beginning to gradually drift closed at the soft chirping of the crickets outside and the occasional drift of cooler night air through the August-hot house.
So the chime of the kitchen timer twenty minutes later startled him back from the edge of almost-sleep; Sasuke just waved a hand. "Perfect timing," he said, taking his empty bowl back to the kitchen. There were some rattling sounds, dishes being rearranged, and a muffled half-curse, and a metallic clunk, and then a series of softer, unidentifiable noises. Just when Iruka's curiosity was starting to nudge him enough toward waking to contemplate getting up to investigate, Sasuke came back with two plates...
...full of chocolate-covered strawberries. They must have just come out of the refrigerator; the August humidity was beginning to bead on the chilled chocolate, and a trickle of dew dripped down the side of one, and Iruka made a small involuntary whimper.
Then he blinked and scrubbed his eyes, because Sasuke had actually smiled at that. "Are they really that good?" the boy asked, wry and a little wistful.
"Yes," Iruka said, one hand over his face. "And Kakashi already fed me two scoops of ice cream and I've been snacking on peanut butter all evening, and I can't just--"
"Today's a festival." Sasuke sat down in front of the sofa and set one of the plates right under Iruka's nose. "Besides. If you don't eat them, how am I supposed to know if I did them right?"
"...Trust me. You did them right."
"So eat them." Sasuke picked up one of his, looked at it with just a bit of lingering skepticism, and bit into it.
The sweet tang of the strawberry mingling with the rich chocolate widened his eyes for him, and the boy hastily cupped a hand under the other half of the strawberry so as not to lose any of the chocolate flecks or berry juice; he chewed and swallowed with a look of utter astonishment on his face.
"That's... that's just..."
"Decadent?" Iruka suggested wryly. "Spectacular? Ought to be outlawed?"
"...Any of the above." Sasuke finished his first strawberry and licked his fingers, then took another. "Go on. Eat."
"I've been eating all evening--"
"I made those for you," Sasuke said. "And if you don't eat them they're going to melt. And if you let something like this melt, I'm going to have to hurt you, Iruka-sensei."
With a shivering sigh, Iruka picked up one of the berries and closed his eyes and bit into it, making a soft, involuntary sound of pure bliss. Just one. I'll put the rest back in the refrigerator for tomorrow. Naruto and Sakura-chan would like them too...
...well, maybe just two...
After spending forty-five minutes waiting for Naruto and Kakashi-sensei to get done with their no-holds-barred ring-toss duel over the plush toy, Sakura groaned and dropped her bags at Naruto's feet and said "Don't forget them this time, got it? I'm going to finish shopping, I'll be back for you two idiots later... I'm sure you'll still be here."
Honestly. Men. You'd think there was only one cute little stuffed dolphin on the planet.
...Although it was incredibly cute...
Still. Going to those lengths was just ridiculous. Particularly when they were supposed to be undercover!
Sakura wondered in frustrated resignation whether there was even anyone in this town who would believe her if she asked the authorities to break up the ninja ring toss duel before it got into higher-level jutsu.
So far they'd stuck with kawarimi and other low-noticeability swaps, either trying to improve the aerodynamics of the "rings" they were throwing or to sabotage the other's rings. But knowing Naruto, it was just a matter of time until he decided that if throwing one ring at a time was good, throwing three hundred and fifty clones of it at a time must be even better, at which point Kakashi-sensei would likely feel compelled to preserve his chances by either blocking the target with an earth wall or by nabbing the prize and making off with it directly, and from there...
...men! Honestly!
She'd have to have a good gripe session with Iruka-sensei later. Iruka-sensei would understand.
Only when she was halfway back with another pair of dresses did she remember, Oh yeah, Iruka-sensei's a man too.
Kind of. Technically. He used to be, anyway.
...But he just doesn't count. And I've got to have somebody sane to talk to in this town or I'll just go ballistic. I wonder if Iruka-sensei would mind being my honorary girl-talk girlfriend for a while? I'm sure he needs someone to complain to about Kakashi-sensei; anybody would need someone to complain to about Kakashi-sensei... not to mention Naruto...
There was an all-too-familiar howl from Naruto, and Sakura knotted both hands around her bags and stalked back toward the combat zone.
Iruka stared in dismay at the nibbled stem of the last of the chocolate-covered strawberries, then sighed and put it on the plate with the others. I didn't mean to eat all of them...
I'll have to apologize to Naruto-kun. Of course, knowing him, he'd be happier with a bowl of ramen anyway...
Sasuke was watching him again, with something completely unreadable in those dark eyes.
"...Have I got chocolate on my face or something...?"
"No."
"Oh." Iruka sighed deeply, one hand resting against the curve of his abdomen. "You and Kakashi, honestly... I must have gained five pounds just today."
"So?"
"I don't want to get fat..."
Sasuke snorted. "You're going to get fat whether you like it or not. You might as well enjoy it."
"That's not what I mean," Iruka said, face burning. "I mean... I know I'm... going to be... I'll be very big, by the end. But I shouldn't gain too much that's not for the baby -- I'll need to lose all the extra weight in about a month, I mean, I can't exactly wear maternity dresses when we get back to Konoha, and I can't afford to buy new chuunin uniforms just to be fat for a couple of months, particularly with the baby to feed, and..."
"You worry about everything, don't you?" Sasuke said, incredulous.
"You angst about everything, so I'd call us even," Iruka said, a little sulky. "And I'm serious. I've got to try not to gain too much--"
"No you don't. How many times have I got to tell you to stop worrying?" A little husky-voiced, the boy added, "You shouldn't think of things like that. You should just... revel in this. In your child. In peace, and joy, and... and in the pregnancy. Because none of it lasts. Don't waste a time like this, Iruka-sensei. Just be happy while you can. The rest of us will take care of everything."
"Kakashi told me the same thing this evening," Iruka murmured.
"Kakashi-sensei is a genius, after all."
Iruka chuckled a little. "Because he gives the same advice you do?"
Was that actually a grin tugging at the corner of the boy's lips? "Of course," Sasuke replied. "I'm a genius too, you know."
"Since so many geniuses have told me so, then I'll try to worry less," Iruka said with a smile, reaching over to rumple the boy's hair a little. "But in return, will you do something for me? Since you're taking care of things?"
Sasuke nodded. "Come to the manor when we get back to Konoha. You don't need to worry about buying anything."
"...what?"
Sasuke's voice was almost steady. Almost, but not quite. "My uncle Sakaki was about your height. He always wore formal crested kimono. He was... Family pride was important to him. So there are dozens of his kimono in... in the attic. You can wear them. The handy thing about kimono is that as long as the height is right, the waistline is adjustable... and..." Sasuke bent his head a little, and said, "And it's not like he needs them anymore."
Completely overwhelmed, Iruka whispered, "Sasuke-kun..."
"They're all marked with the Uchiha mon, though," Sasuke murmured. "Do you mind?"
"Mind? I'd -- I'd be honored, if you thought it wouldn't shame your family's symbol-- if you wouldn't mind me wearing them--"
"Some things are more important than traditions," Sasuke said. With a little bit of difficulty, he added, "I think... seeing you smile as you wait for your child to come... that's one of them."
Iruka couldn't even find his voice, let alone words to speak with.
Sasuke cleared his throat, and fixed a good solid glare on his teacher. "So NOW will you stop worrying about having eaten those strawberries?"
"Yes," Iruka choked, embarrassed at the way his voice was breaking. "Thank you. You didn't need to offer something so important, and I'm... grateful, overwhelmed..." He scrubbed a hand across his eyes hastily, trying not to embarrass them both with tears. "And that wasn't at all what I was intending to ask of you!"
"So what were you going to ask?" There it was again -- a glimmer of something that might almost have been a smile: "More strawberries tomorrow?"
"No." Iruka gulped, and tried to keep his voice steady. "No, I wanted to ask... if you could try to trust us a little. To trust that it's all right to be happy. Not to be afraid of the times when things change..."
"I'm not afraid," Sasuke said. "That's just how the world is."
Iruka sighed a little, and said, very carefully, "You said that you'd wished your brother had killed you too--"
"I said too damn many things," Sasuke said, reddening a bit with frustration. "Just forget it."
"But you never say anything lightly," Iruka replied. "Sasuke-kun--"
"Not tonight," the boy said, a little desperately, almost begging. "Just... not tonight. We've been walking for a month. I'm worn out. I'm saying stupid things. --Some other time, all right?"
"All right," Iruka said, gentle. "But if you ever want to talk about anything, Sasuke-kun, I promise I can stop lecturing and listen."
"...I know." Sasuke picked up his scroll and sat with his back to the sofa and pillow again, clearly trying to end the conversation before it could go into even more uncomfortable territory.
Iruka struggled with himself for a long minute, then finally gathered the nerve to reach over to stroke the boy's hair lightly, just for the contact. Sasuke stiffened at the gentle touch; but when Iruka held his silence, Sasuke began to relax a little. Iruka wasn't sure whether the boy was enduring it or enjoying it; but as long as he didn't pull away, it was good enough for tonight.
The little stuffed dolphin which had been the source of such fierce and prolonged combat was now happily peeking out of the collar of Kakashi's turtleneck.
But Naruto was happily skipping along the road with another little plushie in his hands -- an even littler bright-eyed snuggly dolphin that was the same coloring as Kakashi's. They were a matched set, mama and baby.
"...Still think mine's cooler!"
"Honestly, you idiots, why didn't either of you ask if there was another one an hour and a half ago?"
"Training," Kakashi said sagely. "Can't let our target skills go to waste, even in such a sleepy little town..."
"Hah!" Sakura had bought a little toy wagon, both to give to the new parents for their baby and to be able to keep protective watch over her purchases to prevent the shopping-impaired twits from abandoning them again. "You're such a liar, Kakashi-sensei. What on earth makes Iruka-sensei put up with you?"
"Unbelievable, phenomenal, mind-blowing sex," Kakashi answered promptly.
Sakura turned distinctly green.
Naruto was spluttering. "...Auughh! Too much information... did NOT need to imagine... just... auugghh!"
"She did ask."
"So can we go home now?" Sakura asked.
Kakashi glanced up at the position of the moon, considering.
Not even midnight yet. There's no way anybody, even Iruka, could've psychoanalyzed Sasuke into something resembling sanity already. And I still haven't gotten my hands on any alcohol.
"If you want to have an early bedtime, kids, I suppose Iruka can tuck you in," Kakashi said ever so helpfully. "Me, I'm going to enjoy the best part of the night."
"But all the shops are closed," Sakura said.
"But the bars aren't!" Kakashi turned to Naruto and said, "Shall we let Sakura-chan go home and have ourselves a men's night on the town?"
Tiredness was obviously losing the battle with being-seen-as-grown-up-ness in Naruto's spiky blonde head. "Heck yeah!"
"No, no, no, no," Sakura said, eyes enormous. "No way am I leaving the two of you to get drunk in a town that's not Konoha!"
"Great, then that makes three of us!" Kakashi said blithely. "Come on."
"Wait, I didn't say you could--"
But Kakashi and Naruto were already halfway up the street.
"...oh, hell!" Sakura hastily put a leash on Inner Sakura, grabbed the handle of her wagon, and hurried along after them.
Omake Theater
This is extra stuff, the chapter ended up there. Please skip the rest if you don't like these, but I couldn't NOT put this in since Ciarann sent me my first ever fanart because of the omake pre-chapter 20! <3 <3 <3 (I'm going to make a gallery for it and put a link somewhere in my profile since links in fics get munched for some reason...)
So I had to leave this in somehow because the pic is just so cute, Chibi Iruka With Sparkles and Sasuke looking appalled and Kakashi happily letching over a fence... and I really can't find anything that says author notes at start and end are prohibited, just something that says using whole chapters for author notes are prohibited... anyway, I'm sorry it's been 3 weeks since the last chapter (which was April 3), just like I said below, work has gone COMPLETELY ballistic...
(Oh yeah, two random notes: Naruto's not going blech at Kakashi to be judgemental of Iruka for being gay; he's just squicked for pretty much the same reason anyone goes blech when someone talks about their teachers and/or parents having sex. Most people, especially barely-teenaged kids, just don't like to visualize their almost-parental-figures doing that. ^^;; And like I said in 16 or so, this story has got to be alternate-timeline because there isn't enough time IN timeline for anything like this to have happened... going to try to wrestle the sequel back closer to timeline though... just over a longer period of time if you see what I mean...)
From April 18:
Chibi-Iruka: Sasuke-kun?
grouchy!Chibi-Sasuke: ...?
Chibi-Iruka: Can you help me move something else?
grouchy!Chibi-Sasuke: ...!
Chibi-Iruka (as though that had been an actual explanation): Yes, yes, I know I’m supposed to be careful, but this really is rather important if we want to get through this story and have it over with in a reasonable amount of time…
grouchy!Chibi-Sasuke: ...
Chibi-Iruka: Thank you! (I knew that would be a motivator...) Come on, it’s this avalanche over here.
(After quite a bit of digging through an enormous pile of paper, they discover a vaguely twitching hand.)
startled!Chibi-Sasuke: ...?!
(more digging)
Chibi-Iruka (peeling a flattened ChibiRisu-chan off the ground and dusting post-it notes and staples off): ...now that I think of it, she did mention something about 120-hour work week avalanches...
ChibiRisu-chan (spiral-eyed): ...and remote-access ports 389, 522, 1503, 1719, 1720, and 1731 are blocked at the campus firewall level so that...
Chibi-Iruka (patting her hand): There there. It's a weekend. You can stop hallucinating now.
ChibiRisu-chan: ...yeah. Tell that to the virus writers, the retirees who can't read the email migration documentation, and the guy who sat on my docs for a month and then wanted weeks worth of stuff rewritten in the three days remaining before the new guy gets here. I've been working whether it's a weekend or not...
(blearily checks stats page)
(scrubs eyes)
(passes out again with a thud)
puzzled!Chibi-Sasuke (gesturing at the body on the floor): ...?
Chibi-Iruka: Well, it might have something to do with the fact that it took 16 chapters to get the first 10,000 hits and 100 reviews, and then just 3 more chapters to get to over 20,000 hits and 200 reviews... (nudging puzzled!Chibi-Sasuke in the ribs with a smile:) You should talk more often. Apparently you have fans!
newly-re-grouchy!Chibi-Sasuke: ...
Chibi-Iruka (patting his head since grouchy!Chibi-Sasuke is just too cute to resist): It was just a thought.
(ChibiRisu-chan's otherwise unconscious body twitches a hand over to slap a sticky note approximately on Iruka's knee, then goes thump again)
Chibi-Iruka (reading, then blushing): Er... um... she says thank you to everybody, and that I'm now on thank-you duty while she's out cold. Apparently thank-you duty involves large quantities of glomping and squealing and sparkly eyes... er... why me...?
grouchy!Chibi-Sasuke: ...-_-
Chibi-Iruka (nervous chuckle): Er, you're right. You really should get that checked out by a doctor, you know, but I suppose there's no help for it at the moment. (Sheepishly to the audience:) Sasuke-kun says he's congenitally incapable of sparkly eyes, so I guess I'm going to have to practice. Hmmm...
Chibi-Iruka (takes a deep breath, blinks several times, clasps his hands together under his chin in the universal seal for Cuteness no Jutsu, widens his eyes as far as they'll go -- which is pretty impressively close to three quarters of a chibi head -- and concentrates hard:) Nnnnnggghhh...
(poink! Poinkpoinkpoinkpoink...)
Chibi-Iruka (now with several dozen sparkly little stars shining in enormous chibi eyes and a sweatdrop of effort hanging over his head): ...Sasuke-kun, how's this...?
grouchy!Chibi-Sasuke: ........................................
(Chibi-Iruka stares in bemusement as the corner of grouchy!Chibi-Sasuke's mouth twitches despite the sweatdrops and strained attempt to maintain the perfect poker face.)
(In horror at himself, grouchy!Chibi-Sasuke clamps both hands over his face and flees the possibility that his body might be trying to smile at the sheer staggering quantities of cute hovering around.)
Chibi-Iruka (scratching behind his ear): Er... I don't know whether that meant 'good' or 'bad'... (gulp, very very nervous grin:) So... erm... who wants the thank-you glomps and squeals...? --Do I really have to squeal?
(another sticky gets nudged onto his ankle)
Chibi-Iruka (reading): 'If they want you to'... (enormous sigh) Yes, ma'am.
[ChibiRisu-chan waves 'bye for now' to folks - hopefully it won't be another month before I can write another piece! ^^;;; I can't put in placeholder chapters to say 'yeah I'm alive,' apparently, so just kinda take my word for it... sorry...]
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