Summer has officially begun.

Be ready for a whole lot of radio silence from me in the future, kids. I am going to be a busy beaver the next twelve weeks, what with more jobs to do than there are days in the week.

If ya need me, this is pinned at the top of my journal, just hop on in and post a note. I'll probably be able to get back to you within 12 hours at the most.

Fucking hell.

I think my car is being targeted. I think I'm being targeted, for what reason I don't know. Maybe the neighborhood thinks Del and I are lesbians, idk.

Driver's side window, smashed tonight. The word "FUCK" written in KETCHUP on my trunk, Tuesday night.

Fuck everything in the universe to death with Thor. (If I suffer, you suffer.)

Oh, yeah. Forgot to mention this. (As I know you all hang on every typed word of mine, waiting for celebrity spotting anecdotes.)

The star of this week's CSA: Kevin Smith, writer/director/producer/actor of Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, etc. He was standing in line at the Simpsons, right next to my VIP group on Monday.

I was a total idiotic dork, waved at him with a big grin, told him I loved his work in a VERY quiet voice as I didn't want him getting spotted by the rest of the crowd, and then walked away.

I am now about 99% certain he wanted to smack me for that.

DORKUS MALORKUS IS ME

So I go and watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and while it's funny and wonderful and all of that...

All I can think of is, "Oh, man. New York St. :("

I'm such a dorkus.

It occurs to me that I haven't actually posted any content in weeks. This is the nature of my job right now. Hooray.

Well, let's change that, shall we?

( I force myself to write. Good practice. )

Man Rips Head Off Waxen Hitler.

Headless Waxen Hitler. Great band name, or GREATEST band name y/n?

Augh. 5th of July. Busiest day of the year. VIP tour. AUGH.

The difference between Preaching and Moralizing, in a nutshell.

An Inconvenient Truth: THE HUMAN RACE IS DOOMED unless you give up all of your gadgets and gizmos you lazy horrible fucks. B|

This is preaching.

WALL*E: Hey, yeah, we as human beings capable of some pretty horrendously stupid stuff, but that doesn't mean we can't keep trying.

This is moralizing.

Or, if you'd prefer me to not compare a documentary to an animated movie, let's pick another one.

FernGully, the Last Rainforest: THE FAERIE RACE IS DOOMED unless people give up construction and logging entirely. Jerks. B|

WALL*E is another excellent example of Pixar's fantastic storytelling, stories that have lovable, likable characters, beautiful images, and wonderful morals. It made me very, very happy.

What the fuck.

Two people on my friends list have cancer of the puppy.

NOT COOL.

Ophy, Hemlock, I'm sorry, guys. :(

Yannow, I was gonna do that 'three things I've done' meme that's making the rounds, but then I realized that I'm pretty much out of the running. Because Hollywood.

In other news, cripes I'm tired and summer isn't even half-way done. x_x

I don't care what anybody says, I like Panic! At The Disco. B|

Pretty. Odd. is an amazing album. They are going through every single piece of Britpop from the last thirty-forty years and doing the most amazing homages. They go from Beatles to Stones to The Who in the first three tracks, and then veer off into Oasis with no warning. And yet still manage to sound like themselves.

And I like Brandon's vocals. Unique male voices make me happy.

I also like My Chemical Romance and The Killers. And I don't care if they're 'trendy' or 'sell-outs' or 'emo.' I like their music. I will continue to listen to their music, regardless of 1,000,000 differing or similar opinions.

SO THERE.

So one Red-Eyed Monster turned into 2 and now I'm REALLY drunk. What can I say, I'm a liberal pour (which is the only thing I'm liberal on LOL POLITICS)

There is nothing better than being drunk after a hard day's work, sitting about in your underwear, playing Guitar Hero. Seriously. Nothing better. Try it. But first try to type. Because it's hard. Drunk.

HOLY FUCKBALLS WITH A SIDE OF WONTON SOUP IT WAS HOT TODAY

114 degrees out there. For 8 hours. In the sun. My brain has fried. I'm having brie, sourdough bread and a Red-Eyed Monster for dinner tonight. Then a cold shower. Then bed.

JEEEEEEEEEEEZUS VAMPIRE SLAYER WITH AN AMUSING SIDE-KICK IT WAS HOT

Cyd Charisse is dead.

:(

Okay, two things.

1) Why in the hell isn't CNN, Fox, et. al. carrying the news of what Kucinich did yesterday? This is a big fucking deal.

2) What in the hell is Kucinich trying to accomplish with this? He can't honestly believe that Bush & Cheney will serve any prison time. Nor would they be booted out of office. It almost feels like he's just pantsing them at this point. Embarrassing, sure, but they'll get over it. If Kucinich had any REAL testicles, this would have been done 18 months ago. (He has sack, don't get me wrong. Just not enormous brass balls that clang when he walks, like everybody is making it out to sound like.)


...I lied. Three things.

3) oh god world of warcraft has eaten my brain again

OMG

OH EMM GEE

Guess who came and took the tour with his family today? Just a regular tram tour. I showed him to the front of the line and everything.

OMG

EDWARD JAMES OLMOS



COMMANDER ADAMA FUCK YEAH

A BIT OF PREDICTION!

Regarding the new Eddie Murphy movie, Meet Dave. The plot centers around dozens of small aliens, all of whom look like Eddie Murphy, running around Earth in their spaceship, which also happens to 1) look like Eddie Murphy and 2) be human sized.

My prediction is thus:

In the course of this movie, the aliens will meet a sweet, good-looking black woman, who's down and out on love. Possibly too busy for love, or recently had her heart broken. Something like that. This sweet, good-looking black woman will then, at some point, have sex with the 'spaceship' Eddie Murphy, not realizing that it's actually powered by miniature aliens. She will then, through misadventures, discover the true nature of her lover and leave, only to come back later, thereby discovering the true nature of love.

The movie will close on a beautiful house somewhere in a rich neighborhood, with the sweet, good-looking black woman lounging on a sun deck (a pool could be involved), and being waited on hand and foot by dozens of miniature Eddie Murphys.

Any takers on how accurate this prediction will be?

UNIVERSAL CITY, Calif. - Investigators said Monday afternoon that Sunday's fire at Universal Studios accidentally started as crewmembers worked on a set.

County fire chief Michael Freeman said at a news conference that the fire started at 4:43 a.m. Sunday near the intersection of New York and New Jersey streets in the Universal Studios backlot. He said three crewmembers were applying asphalt shingles to a building on a set.

"They were using a blowtorch to heat the shingles to adhere to the decking," Freeman said.

Freeman said the supervisor and two employees completed the project at about 3 a.m.

"They followed company protocol and policy to stand watch for one hour," Freeman said. "Seeing no indication of fire, they took a break at 4 a.m."

At 4:43 a.m., a security guard noticed the fire and immediately notified the fire department, Freeman said. The workers returned at about the same time and confirmed with the guard that authorities were en route to the blaze, Freeman said.

More here.

My VIP went fine. Evaluation was good. Still utterly stunned, and probably will be for a few more days. Sorry if this is all I talk about for a while, it's really kicked my ass.

Best. Moodtheme. Ever.

I have invented a new cocktail.

1 part pomegranate juice.
1 part Monster energy drink.
1 part vodka.

I'm calling it the Red-Eyed Monster. >:3 Because I'm clever.

You know what's even better than having a cold?

Getting your period when you have a cold.

IT'S TOTALLY AWESOME I KNOW

Blizzard games has put me back on the pipe. Two different pipes, as a matter of fact, because I got a copy of Diablo 2 again AND I reupped my WoW account.

Although Apple turned me down for credit. :/ So now I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.

Mooooooooooootherfrak.

So my computer, she of the buttered cat on ball bearings fame, my dear Holly (female version with the shorter hair of series 3), is on her way out.

I thought she was older than April '05. I thought she was, like, November of '03. So that she's only three years old is distressing. Especially considering my last iMac lasted me a good five plus years. One of the indigo iMacs. I got that baby in 2000, I think.

Last night I stepped away for a couple of minutes to burn my lungs, and I came back to a black screen. "That's funny," I thought to myself, "I don't remember putting it to sleep." That's...because I hadn't. For the last four-five months the monitor has been acting peculiar, including wavering, distorting, and brief crackling lines across, like a badly tuned TV. And now it was black as night.

So I rebooted it, and the screen remained black. For a good five minutes or so. Then, blip, it popped back up again, and was fine. So far.

The hard drive is fine. The video card and/or monitor is, clearly, vercocked. I'd take it to the Apple store, but nnnnngh heavy and expensive and time consuming and you've gotta make an appointment and nnnnngh. (Unless you wanna come with me, Spatch.)

So, here we go into debt again to get a new computer. :/

But this time, I'm gettin' one of these babies. *droooooool*

Oh, and I just found out my parents are moving. To another city in SoCal, a good ninety miles away from where we are now. Hrm.

And...I just got a promotion at work again.

:D

Last summer, I expressed interest in becoming a guide dispatcher, mainly because I wanted the hours. Somebody else got it, and I went v(._.)v and moved on.

I just got a call saying, "Hey, if you still wanna do it, we'd love to have you and train you."

So, yes.

aslkdfja;lkreqjkrhladsf

I just found out that I got employee of the month up at VIP tours.

:D!!!!!!!!!

AH HAH!

Just in time. Thank you, gubbmint.

Now. Fix the damn 'biofuel' mess and let those farmers grow FOOD, and we'll be getting somewhere.

Gratuitous icon post!

...Oh, all right, have some content, too.

So I was supposed to get my Economic Stimulus Package deposited directly into my account this week, as my social security number ends in a sufficiently low number.

I still have not received it.

I was...kinda counting on it.

Stupid government, can't even get a worthless and pointless* program to work properly.






-----
*Worthless and pointless in that it's probably not going to do "THE ECONOMY" a damn bit of good, but it sure as hell's gonna save my tushie.

Damn it all to hell, I was just doing the dishes when a blollop of black sludge troogled up my pipes and coated my sink in filth.

Marvelous. I'm so annoyed I make up words.

So I guess Twitter is the new hotness. Since, clearly, the internet has reduced our attention spans to the point where 1) We must post about something right this very fucking second, as we'll probably forget its relevance shortly and 2) Our friends can't pay attention any longer than it takes to read one line of non-punctuated, non-capitalized, poorly formatted text.

Clearly.

(ALSO I'd like to go on record as not having read Penny Arcade until about three sentences into this post. Fuck you, Gabe and Tycho, I had this idea entirely independent of your increasingly unimaginative webcomic.)

In the spirit of Twitter, I present the following:

19:18 monster is the best energy drink hands down
19:18 pizza is on the way
19:18 photoshop takes too long to load
19:18 this takes too long to type
19:18 i need a brain/computer interface. steve jobs get cracking
19:18 monster really is the best energy drink i think i'll have another
19:18 goddamn my hands are shaking
19:18 little girl on tram today freaked out kept screaming 'i wanna go home'
19:18 laughed at the little girl
19:18 tomorrow is another tram day
19:18 just re-read bondage faeries
19:18 i'm lost without my sense of direction, maybe i should try hare krisna
19:18 i want a cat
19:18 who's on first what's on second i don't know third base
19:18 my fingernails are trashed
19:18 stop spamming my friends list with nine billion twitters a day people, it's getting to the point where i am going to start UNFRIENDING PEOPLE WHO OVERFRIGGIN' DO IT I MEAN IT THIS IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS I DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF COOKIES YOU HAD FOR YOUR COWORKER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY JUST MINUTES AFTER THEY WERE SERVED OR HOW MANY PIECES OF DOG HAIR YOU PICKED OFF YOUR GOOD WINTER COAT BECAUSE MUFFIN ROLLED ALL OVER IT AND THEN POOPED IN YOUR SHOE IF YOU REALLY GET YOUR KICKS INFLICTING YOUR MINUTIAE ON THE REST OF US THEN DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN PEOPLE STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU IN THE LEAST.

Ahem.

The Forbidden Kingdom is awesome. Go see it.

Also, spritelord, was that YOU I saw mentioned in yesterday's Penny Arcade WoW contest as a runner up?

I go fishing because Azeroth doesn't have enough repetitive shit. - Jeremy Murphy
In PVP Realms, if a player waves, I kill them. - (Also) Jeremy Murphy

???

So last night was DEL!'s birthday celebration, and I invited a LOT of my coworkers along as well.

Two of my coworkers showed up.

Thanks guys, I love you too. :P

Ah well, guess it's only fair, since I never go to their parties. We had a good time anyway, with the imbibing of much alcohol. Although when we got there at 7 the place was quiet and awesome and we had a rad table in the corner by the bar. Then at around 10 or so our waitress was all, "Uh, this table has now turned into our VIP section, guys, I have to kick you out. But you can stay if you buy a bottle. $224."

I think I was too drunk to understand that, because she didn't say a bottle of WHAT for $224. I don't know, all I said was, "YEAH WE'LL MOVE THANKS!"

Allcaps because I yell a lot when I'm drunk. Ask anybody.

Except my coworkers because they weren't there, the bastards. I'm gonna remember this, guys. B|

Hold on to your hats, kids, the internet is about to derail.

Oh, damn, I've still got the Indiana Jones theme stuck in my head. Third day in a row, now.

Why isn't it May 22 yet? :(

Happy birthday, Dellybeen. ilu.

You know it's bad when the heat even gets to ME.

I was sitting (yes, literally sitting) out at tram plaza yesterday. I was in the shade, I'd had PLENTY of water, I'd eaten well, I'd felt fine all morning.

At approximately 1:00, the entire plaza just...tilted about 60 degrees to the right, and then everything swum back to the left. Nausea was instantaneous. If I'm going to have that effect hit me, I'd prefer it to be after a couple of beers, thank you.

For the first time ever, I had to go home early. Went up to the nurse, had some gatorade-like substance, and a couple of crackers, and carefully drove home.

I lived in Las Vegas for three years, and never ONCE did I have the heat affect me like that.

Blah. Gettin' old.

I feel like I shouldn't be pimping www.hulu.com because it's an NBC Universal venture (along with Fox, for now), and since I work for 'em, blah corporate shill. But holy crap, it's so cool. I'm watching The Jerk, online, in a fantastic resolution, for free.

I LOVE THE FUTURE.

Yoinked from Silverthorne.

( 50 greatest TV Shows, according to some bloke. )

Muppets!

I'VE NOW BEEN RICKROLL'D FOUR TIMES IN THE LAST TWO HOURS AND IT'S NOT EVEN 4/1 YET

Damn it, just make this whole post about rickrolls, okay? Just gimme some pasta and rickroll it up, you bastards. Get it out of your systems.

I miss salt in the sugar bowl. >:/

Further, this is absolutely fascinating.

This person belongs on the internet. Give him an LJ, he'd fit right in.

From MGK's blog.

Not a photoshop. He gave us his word.

Journal name changed in honor of this momentous discovery.

Yesterday there was some drama! Baby, the blue and gold macaw from the Animal Actors Stage, decided mid-flight to take a little walkabout. Into the draft of the fan she went...and then out of the stage she bolted. She's never done this before; I had a mild, shifty-eyed freakout with another co-worker, speculating that the animals are the first to know when we're about to have an earthquake. >_>

So a page went out over the system. Exact wording, near as I can remember:

Blue/gold macaw escaped from UAA, call command center asap if spotted.

Fair enough.

Two minutes later, a second page went out on the system. Again, exact wording.

Please be advised, a macaw is a parrot (bird).

My cackling was heard all the way clear up at Waterworld.

PS happy ending Baby was found about an hour after she took her little stroll so all's well that ends well.

Sixth day in a row, working on a VIP tour today.

Feast to famine, famine to feast.