catechetical's Journal

7:30am: Hi
Please pray for me. I've decided to quit my job and I am looking for another job. Eric and I figured out our budget living on our own with the money we are making now, and it is not enough. Right now I am working 35 hours (technically full time), and it would help if I would work 40 hours. Once I thought about it, I would rather work somewhere else than add more hours to what I work at Tomlinson's. Even working 35 hours a week and getting 3 days off stresses me out. When I kept thinking, I realized some other things. Why am I stressed out "too much" to add more hours? First, working at a pet store is hard work. With a small store, there is a small staff which has to feed and water the animals twice a day and clean their cages about once a week, along with restocking the store 3 times a week (including 50 lb. bags) and dealing with all sorts of needy and rude customers with a "smile". Besides that and the fact that I don't want to work at a pet store for the rest of my life, anyway, I am pretty much the assistant manager without getting paid for it. Slowly, my manager has put lots of responsibilities on me without asking me or telling me what he was doing. I think (since he hasn't talked about it with me at all!) he expects me to not only do the above, but also order the food we need from the distributors on Monday and work with the distributors whenever something necessary comes up (instead of giving it to him!), and other sometimes random small stuff. Now, I am not the type of person who turns down more responsibility in a job. I just ask for some sort of compensation, like a raise, and some proper training, please. (He gives me new things to do and literally will not explain them to me, he says "you can do it, just do it". So, almost every time I do them (like, on food orders and working with distributors, etc.), I make some mistake and people get mad at me and I feel totally bad and embarrassed, and mad. That's just ridiculous, inexcuseable, unacceptable, totally avoidable.) Oh, and it would be respectful to sit down and explain this responsibility and perhaps ask, since it is definitely not a job requirement. I also don't want to quit like this. The reason I've even stayed six months (through crying about it on Eric, sometimes) is because I want to be loyal to a company! I want to work somewhere for a long time and be a good employee. Not to be conceited, but I am a good employee and somewhat rare, I think. Sorry. Thanks for listening to the rant. Two jobs I'm hoping to qualify for: a cahier's job at a car dealership (hopefully the pay will be better) and a management position at a dry cleaners. I'm hoping for the later, but right now I am just looking for any better job. Please pray about that, and please pray for me personally. I need to give my anger and frustration to God instead of other people (particularly rude customers). I'm having a hard time with it. And, I also don't want to get a big head about maybe being a manager. I have just now gotten confidence that I have the abilities to be a good manager.......... So, please pray for me. I REALLY want God's will to be done above all! God bless you.

11:31am: Suffering
We found out yesterday that Eric did not get the job with Musco in Iowa. I am sad for Eric to an extent. I really hope that he does not get too hurt by it. I personally believe it's for the best. We had prayed about it many times, for God to put us where HE wants us. And, Eric got the job at Barnes & Noble and not this one. I am convinced God is taking care of us. I also had a bad feeling about that job since it has taken them so long to deal with Eric, much longer than it should in my opinion, etc.

So, we may be moving out of my parents' soon. Actually, we will be, we just aren't sure of the exact day, yet. Now that Eric is working at Barnes & Noble and will be moving to full time, we are looking for an apartment. Atleast, those are the plans.

Today, I went to BSF again (Bible Study Fellowship) - I think I've mentioned it before on here. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue being a part of it, but today I learned some things that are important to me and some that are encouraging. I thought I would share, to hopefully encourage someone else.

The first thing is that when 1 Peter 3:4 mentions a "gentle and quiet spirit" Peter is talking about one that does what is right and does not fear (verse 6), and it is not a personality thing. So, outgoing people can have this "quiet and gentle spirit" and on the reverse, quiet people don't necessarily have it. I know friends who have really struggled with that, and I have, too. (For the record: 1 Peter 3: 1-6 NIV -- "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you DO WHAT IS RIGHT AND DO NOT GIVE WAY TO FEAR.") Submission is also a pretty big issue. I didn't mean to get into it, but, just so you know, I am up for discussing anything. =)

The second is twofold. Malachi 3:3 says God sits as a refiner and purifier of silver, and refers to people as the silver. I personally never knew some quick facts about silversmiths and their silver that describes God with us. The purifier must use a device to hold the silver right in the middle of the fire where the flames are the hottest; only the hottest flames can burn away the impurities. The purifier must actually sit and watch the silver purify the entire time, because if the silver is left one moment too long in the flames, it will be destroyed. How does the purifier know when the silver is ready to come out? When he sees his image on it. That information is very special because the bible talks about God purifying us in our trials to help us grow and become stronger, about how God won't let us get tempted beyond what we can bear, and about how we were made in God's image, God wants us to be like him, and we strive to do his will as Christians. And, it is very special to me because of the things going on in Eric and I's life right now (specifically, not knowing what the future holds for us financially because neither one of us has a very stable job, living with my parents, etc.). I know that in life suffering is inescapeable and Jesus says that Christians will be made to suffer. I also know that God says he will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. So, it is really cool for me to learn in a different way how God is watching me and taking care of me the whole time I am going through pain, etc. I also have learned that suffering with God with you, taking care of you, really does produce endurance, which produces perseverence, which helps you when more suffering comes along. And I have also learned that we really are not guaranteed anything, really. So, we should be prepared to live like nothing but God matters. And, honestly, to suffer as a Christian (in persecution or ill circumstances) is a priveledge because Jesus suffered so much for us. We are honored when we suffer under/for his name.

God bless you.

8:58am: Life
I don't have really anything to write. I just felt like writing something. Eric and I are both working today. He likes his job (Barnes & Noble) so far. He works less and gets more breaks than I do. (Pooper.) Today I get to take Ollie to work. I'm excited. He's so cute. We're also having a pizza party at work which I planned, since I'm the default manager right now, woo hoo. =)

Which brings me to something I do need to write about. My manager's son has been sick for over three weeks right now, and the doctors (at the hospital as well) don't have any clue what it is. He's 11 yrs old, his name is Daryl. He hasn't been able to keep any food down for three weeks (but by now, they're feeding him smashed up chicken and rice, anyways, and hopefully he's keeping some of that down, even though he throws it up still) and the skin under his eyes is red, like he got punched in the eye or something. Please pray about this, if you pray. My manager is turning into a horrible wreck, as you can probably imagine. They had to take Daryl right back to the hospital yesterday because he woke up with his speech slurred and his temperature below normal. It is really a stressful and hard time. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease pray, if you pray. They put him under surgery yesterday and scoped around through all of his organs, and still didn't find anything. They're going to run tests on his stool, and hopefully find something there. They've ruled out that it's not a brain tumor and it's not cancer. That's all they know. They are thinking it may be an infection, but they don't know what kind or where or anything, so they don't know how to treat it if it is. And you can imagine poor Daryl, he's going through alot, it's really hard on him emotionally, even though he is getting used to being sick. The family is Christian. Please pray. God is good, I pray that he will make his mercy, goodness, and strength evident in healing Daryl and his family physically and emotionally.

And me, we hired two new people last week, and Brad (Daryl's father, my manager) has been gone with Daryl, so I have been alone with these two new people from their first day (minus one day in the middle when Brad was actually at work). It is pretty crazy and hard to train two new people at once on everything.... especially when I've never done it or been a manager or anything before. But, it's not a disaster, it hasn't exploded in my face yet. They're learning. God is definitely answering prayer, because I have prayed about it.

Anyways. I'll write more later. Hope your day goes well. God bless you!

7:11am: Ollie...
I'm not sure exactly when Ollie wakes up. Yesterday morning and this morning I went in to see him and he was already awake. Birds are supposed to fall asleep when the sun goes down and wake up when it comes up. Maybe he heard me coming, or maybe he could see the sun between the blinds. I left him a little light throughout the night, though, because at the pet shop they always leave part of the store lit for the night. He got much more used to things yesterday! Instead of hiding in my hair, he spent most of the day (my day off) on the edge of my shoulder observing his view. I went out to run some errands and took him, and he likes being in the car. I guess birds are prepared for seeing things move by fast, seeing as they fly. He really likes to observe. So, the fact that he enjoys car rides is good, in case we move. =) (Eric finds out today or Monday about the job with Musco...) I took Ollie into the bathroom when Eric was taking a shower (birds typically really love to take showers). We held him in and he got the mist stuff all over him, and a little water. He was excited and flapped his wings and had his mouth all open. Then, I gave him a bath with a specially formulated bath spray for birds. I got him soaking wet and he liked it, which is good. He looked like a dinosaur, though, with all his feathers slicked down. I took him outside to air dry and we ended up staying outside for hours. It was very interesting. He loved being outside. He observed everything. Even the cat; wasn't scared of the cat. Most of the time he listened to and watched the birds. Now, Ollie has two calls so far. One is his natural cocckatiel call and the other is a little quieter more garbled sqwawk. He makes his natural one around other birds, and we think the other one is one he specifically makes around people (maybe the result of him being hand-fed; he sees humans he bonds with as parents). It almost sounds like he's whining, it's crazy. I've never heard another cocckatiel make it. So, outside with all the other birds, he made his natural call a few times (he's really a quiet bird, I don't know if that will change or not). It's interesting because he was very interested in the birds as far as straining to watch them and calling to them, but he never acted like he wanted to go with them or leave me. So, maybe now he really does prefer humans. We stayed outside for so long because the house was being cleaned and I forgot that those strong smells are would kill him. While waiting for the smell to disperse, Eric and I took him to Subway, Target, and Petsmart (because he could actually go in there; I stayed in the car with him everywhere else). He liked seeing the birds again in Petsmart and made his natural call again and got all excited. Another thing worth mentioning is I was watching a scary movie last night on T.V. and I got really scared without realizing how scared I was, because I noticed Ollie was really scared all of the sudden. He would not calm down, he kept making noise and looking all around him AND TRYING TO CLIMB ON TOP OF MY HEAD!! He went crazy and I even had to put him in his cage for a few minutes because he would not stop trying to get on my head. Finally, I thought maybe he's scared because I'm scared. So, I calmed myself down until I wasn't scared, and then Ollie wasn't scared anymore. He was back to normal. It was crazy. That shows how well they can read emotions!! And he stretches his legs out one by one and then stretches his wings out by raising them up, all the time. He's so cute. =) Ollie's a good bird. =)

Anyways. God bless you! I hope you're well.

7:07am: =)
I should share that I got a bird yesterday!! He is a regular grey cocckatiel baby. (Probably only a few months old. You can tell because his body is more slender than the aduult's and he is much more "shy". He observes most of the time with his eyes wide open.) I think it's a he because males have more yellow on their heads and this one has a huge splotch of yellow all on his head - and more than the other grey had. I chose a regular grey cocckatiel because cocckatiels talk a whole lot, are quiet (as far as obnoxious goes, and vocal ability), very affectionate, and even-tempered. I chose a regular grey because I didn't want to get a man-made morph, I wanted what was natural. He's very cute. Right now he's pretty nervous. Sometimes when my family tries to pet him he bluffs like he's going to bite, but at this stage he doesn't even know how to bite hard (hopefully he'll never learn =)). I named him Ollie after Oliver Hardy in Laurel and Hardy. As of right now, he likes to sit on my shoulder, prune my hair, play in my hair, and sleep in my hair. Anyways! Good-bye for now and God bless you.

1:06pm: Up 'til 4 in the morn last night.... Kinda tired
I went with my mom today to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). In case you don't know, it's an organization of Christians (from all denominations) who commit to attending a bible study once a week along with some personal bible studying. Men and women meet separately. Today, they were going over Ephesians 6, and spiritual warfare - the weapons for it, etc. One portion of it covered knowing our enemy, Satan, and included a passage I had never read or heard of before that blew me away. In it God describes Satan in a more outstanding and personal way than I had ever heard of before. Ezekiel 28:12-17:

"'You were the moddel of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone adorned you: ruby, topaz and emerald, chrysolite, onyx and jasper, sapphire, turquoise and beryl. Your settings and mountings were made of gold; on the day you were created they were prepared. You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God; you walked among the fiery stones. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you. Through your widespread trade you were filled with viollence, and you sinned. So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God, and I expelled you, O guardian cherub, from among the fiery stones. Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings.'"

It's amazing to think of Satan in those terms, to me. So many people think of him in red and with a pitchfork, but obviously it's much more closer to home than that. (And Satan is a master deceiver.) Lots of people are decked out and beautiful. The entice of beauty and power. How many people haven't struggled with that? The passage is mindblowing to me. He really sounds so.... human.

9:02am: Emmanuel
Once, I was a small gurl with pink plastic glasses and two words per day.
Whose thoughts were literal, and "run home" at my t-ball game was the cause of a sad collapse and cry.
Once, I was a young gurl with Nancy Drew books and contacts.
Paranoia became my game and anoerexia was my sport.
Once, I was a young woman with a band of fellow gurls; we were friends, philosophers, The Pprivate School Activists, and lifelovers.
We had infinite imaginations and unbelieveably real dreams, with some experiences to match.
Once, I was a woman with cute clothes, long hair, a plan to transfer to a university in England, and a hope that my own philosophy would carry me on and not let me be hurt.
Then, I met Eric.
Now, my husband brings the small gurl pink glasses,
Wipes the tears off of the young gurl's image-criticizing face,
And reminds the woman of what we both live for.
We are friends, philosophers, Private School Activists, lifelovers, and real lovers together.
We have infinite imaginations, unbelieveably real dreams, and alot of experiences to match!

4:10pm: My GOODNESS, I just did one of the funnest things! Eric and I went on a BIKE RIDE down this path outside of my parents' neighborhood. It was SO fun! It was so pretty, oh my goodness. We biked through all of these shaded and not shaded paths and down all these bridges - one went through a really pretty golf course and over this really big creek/lake (somewhere in the middle), so pretty! I felt like such a little kid, oh my goodness! I haven't biked in about 9 years. I felt like a mixture between my past self and someone in the 30's or 40's. Yeah, who bikes anymore, except for recreational purposes or sport, and of that, who bikes? Hardly anyone. I felt like I was performing an ancient and secret ritual. It was so fun. I want to do it again, now! I saw that the trail kept going after you reach the golf course, next time I will do that, hopefully. I can't wait 'til I get my own bike.

I'm so excited about finding out whether Eric got the job with Musco this week. But, I have decided to not live for one good thing after another, but to be grateful and joyful in everything. (Which is what I should be doing. It has dawned on me in a new light, and it's more fulfilling. I haven't been trying so hard to hold onto my faith all this time, just to come to material-convenient times and be fine with only that - no, I'm fine with whatever happens. As long as I've got God, all is definitely well.)

God bless you! Off to do...something... (I want to go on that bike ride again, but that will just have to wait.)

YAY, JESUS ROSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:50am: Too bad they lost.

9:37am: Yay, Eric and I have tickets to the Duke basketball game tonight!

9:18pm: BY THE WAY
There is this really cute bird at work that I want so badly!! I hope I get to take it home before anyone else does. (As soon as Eric gets a job.) I have nicknamed him Skwert. He is a Quaker Parrot. I don't know if it's a he.

IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW (or, skip down): They are about the size of a atiel - a mid-sized bird. They are the only species of parrot that builds its own nests; all the other parrots live in cavities of trees and other holes. Which translates to them being VERY unique and sophisticated birds. They learn how to talk as much as an African Grey (which is known for talking the most), which not many people know. They actually learn how to talk within a week or two of being born when hand-fed (Greys take much longer). They are hardy birds. They live in colonies, and because they are hardy and survive when they escape, there is a colony here in Austin, in New York City, and many other places, when they originally come from South America. They are SO intelligent, it's really amazing. In the wild, their nests (called apartments) consist of a front porch - which they share with other animals, a living room - which only Quakers are allowed into, and a bedroom - where only the parents and the babies are allowed. They are ting birds, which means they have lots of spunk, a big personality, and think they're the biggest birds around. Which translates to them being very mischevious and entertaining. They bond very closely to humans, and because they're so smart, they become very loving, affectionate, and protective of their owners in many creative and surprising ways. Did you even know that birds can eat almost the exact things we eat?? Pancakes, french fries, cooked meat, etc. Crazy, huh?

So, to be on with my story... Skwert came in with 4 other 4 month old Quakers (and he can't talk yet; whenever there are two or more birds, they bond more with each other than humans). He was the skinniest, scrawniest one, and while the others would be angels and let you play with them, Skwert would attempt to dissect your hand. He obviously thought he was the biggest and baddest. So, all the other good Quakers got sold, and he is left alone. After a few days of leaving him in his cage and just talking to him, he let me take him out and now he is super bonded to me. He actually purrs and runs in and out of my hair, gives me thousands of kisses, prunes my hair, and makes cute little noises I've never heard a Quaker make before. He has to investigate almost anything I do and looks over at me and makes this apparently approving noise. And he almost always has to be chewing on something (like a pen cap), which is real cute. When I try to put him up, he runs up my arm instead or flies to the side. It's so funny to see him now. I'm trying to fatten him up with scrambled eggs, broccoli, and apples because he picks out only sunflower seeds from his own food, the stinker. (And, now, we apparently have a super special bond because I give him the good food...) Anyways. Today, I sprayed him with bath spray until he was soaking wet (it gives him something to do and makes him feel useful - cleaning the water off with his beak) and went off to clean the store for the commercial. Soon, I hear his sqwak that means he wants me to pick him up. So, I'm on my way to pick him up from his perch and he's actually in the middle of the store on the ground trying to find me. And his feathers were slicked to his head and body with the water, so that he had all these bald spots showing and looked like a drowned rat/bird. Hehe! It was so cute and funny, I laughed so hard. (Maybe you can't picture it.) Made me feel special. They're only $169.99 (while African Greys are over a thousand), and I would get him for $60.00. I like Skwert. Anyways. That's my story.

8:17pm: Yay!
Aw, Eric just called me, actually! And we forgot to pack his coat, it is now snowing in Iowa. I feel so bad... Other than that, he thinks the interview went really well. Hopefully having connections will help. So, we'll see what happens. Apparently, Muscatine (the town we would live in in Iowa) is about the size of Searcy (the teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeny town we lived in in Arkansas). But, there are bigger cities nearby, which is where we would probably want to stay. Plus, it is 2 hours away from Chicago, which is pretty cool, especially when Eric has family that lives there. Anyways.

*Abby, do you read this anymore? My friend? Love you....

7:37pm: Hello Hello.... and blah blah blah
So, my boss, along with HIS boss want me to be in a commercial for the store tomorrow morning. I wanted to sleep in late, since it's my day off, but since the owner of Tomlinson's wants me to do it, I guess I will...

So, Eric is on his way to Interview Land. The last time I talked to him on the phone, he had just landed in Chicago (that was his second to last stop, he's going from Austin to Houston to Chicago to a tiny airport in Iowa). [I haven't updated in a while. We're hoping he gets this job. It would mean moving to Iowa, but that would be a great adventure...] Luckily, we woke up and made it to the airport on time this morning, seeing as we woke up at 3:30 am. I am praying and having faith in God. Could you please pray, too, if it's not too big of a trouble? (Thanks, we really appreciate it, in case you do. And, we really appreciate it, to the people who we KNOW are praying! Thank you so much....) His interview starts whenever he arrives. A special service is picking him up and taking him to Musco, then after the interview, one of the employees is taking him out to dinner and dropping him off at his hotel. Then, tomorrow, one of the employees is going to pick him up, again, and give him a tour of the plant. He's excited, and I'm excited for him. (And I'm just excited, too....) Then, his last plane is scheduled to arrive at 11:00 tomorrow night, but it has a 10% chance of being on time. Anyways.

1. First name? Christie

2. Were you named after anyone? no

3. Do you wish on stars? no, but i have before

4. When did you last cry? this morning when i dropped my husband eric off at the airport

5. Do you like your handwriting? sometimes

6. What is your favorite lunchmeat? ham

7. What is your birth date? 01/09/83

8. What is your most embarrassing CD? jumping in the highest (a christian cd of songs trying to be super techno)

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? i don't know

10. Do you have a journal? only online

11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? of course

12. What are your nicknames? chris, kisstie (no, that is not eric's nickname for me.... i called myself that when i was little, because i couldn't pronounce my name and, sadly, it has stuck with a few people....)

13. Would you bungee jump? probably

14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? sometimes

15. Do you think that you are strong? alot of the time

16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? cookies 'n' cream!!!!

17. Shoe Size? 10

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? insecurities about the way i look and my personality

20. Who do you miss most? right now, eric

21. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? sure, if they want to

22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? jeans and adidas soccer shoes

23. What are you listening to right now? a car driving by outside and the hum of the computer being on

24. Last thing you ate? cheetos

25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? i don't know

26. What is the weather like right now? sunny

27. Last person you talked to on the phone? eric

28. The first thing you notice about the opposite ? if they have joy

29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? YES =)

30. Favorite Drink? water

31. Favorite Sport? ice skating (if that's a sport, if not, soccer or football)

32. Hair Color? it is natural, and it is dark brown with a red tint

33. Eye Color? dark brown

34. Do you wear contacts? no

35. Favorite Food? right now, chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes

36. Last Movie You Watched? legally 2

37. Favorite Day Of The Year? i don't have one

38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? happy endings

39. Summer Or Winter? summer, nice and hot

40. Hugs OR Kisses? both, at the same time, too

41. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? plain hershey's milk chocolate

42. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? i have no clue

43. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? i don't know

44. Living Arrangements? my parents' house and married (hopefully soon to change)

45. What Books Are You Reading? grimm's fairy tales

46. What's On Your Mouse Pad? i don't have one

47. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? the crocodile hunter

48. Favorite Smells? fresh air in nature, and roses

49. Favorite Sounds?

50. Rolling Stones or Beatles? what, both

51. What's the furthest you've been from home? europe: england, france, and italy

52. Do you have a special talent? i'm special in many ways, i can pop my thumb knuckles in a really weird way that grosses lots of people out, though

53. What is your ring tone? something that came with the phone, i don't know


I miss Eric lots and lots. And I'm lonely... I'm on AIM right now, wishing to talk to whoever because I am so lonely. It's annoying. I cried like a baby when he left and I couldn't believe it.

Well, God bless you.

7:59pm: My gosh, life can be scary.

9:41am: So, here I go again....
Off to another day. It's amazing how many days a person can live with the repetition and not go out of his mind! Isn't it? But, it's not boring if you think about it hard enough to find that out. I guess it would be in certain circumstances, but not on the whole, I don't think.

For some reason I am just itching to write things and talk to people, and I have been wanting to do it in online forums. I have never really thought of myself as someone who talks too much (since I hardly ever spoke a word until I was 9 years old - I guess I've been opening up since then), but now I think I may. Or, I guess I have some odd need for attention I haven't put my finger on lately. It's definitely weird, whatever it is. So, I was looking up online forums/message boards/whatever on google to try to find one and came across a site called The Examined Life. I had a bad feeling, but I tried to join it anyway. It asked for my first and last names, the amount of income I make, and my address and phone number. Woah, way too much, so I made it up. I was reading the rules of joining and came across "no prosthetylizing (or however it's spelled, which means don't try to make people leave their opinions for yours), no insulting, no sermons". It's a site solely for philosophical reasoning. I go straight for the Christianity site (since it's what I believe and follow) and the first topic was "My Godd, Christians are so ANNNNNNNNNNNNOYING!" And a whole lot of people commented on how they Christians. So much for the site's rules, I thought. I got out of that one. I don't really want to post there, anymore. In my experience, I think it is crazy how in chat rooms or message boards it is hard, if not impossible, to have calm and courteous talks about religion and who you are and what you believe, etc. Which is what I wanted to do. But, I guess I really don't think it's so crazy. In fact, I think it's simply SPIRITUAL.

Getting off the computer now.

I need to give more of my mind, body, and soul to God. I love him, and I don't give him enough. Thank you for loving me anyway, Lord! Hopefully, I'll get on it today (especially after writing about it). I don't like being complacent!

Ta ta, adios, God bless you!

10:55am: Wow, I haven't posted in a really long time....
And there's really not much to write about, I just didn't like seeing that my last post was in 2003!

10:52am: UPDATE!
I am updating my journal.. Not much is happening here at work. I have run out of work to do. I miss my boyfriend lots and lots! Alexander is here with me. He is having fun in my purse right now - since he likes to sleep there... Lucky him! Last night he flipped over in his cage AGAIN!!! Which scared the living craps out of me. That's so not cool.. Especially since it's the second night in a row. He's also not eating right now, because I'm only giving him food that is good for him. But he doesn't like that food. I hope he will learn. I keep reading up on him (Sulcata Tortoises), and I keep finding contradicting information OVER VERY IMPORTANT MATTERS! This is really not cool.. I don't want my tortoise to die! =(

The doctors did not find what they were looking for during my mom's surgery. Please keep praying.

10:29am: Errrrrrrr....
"Personable and Creative


As a Personable type, you are a true generator of original thoughts. You probably like to think that you're equally as good at spinning old ideas as you are at projecting what might be possible in the future.

Your compassionate nature draws people to you. Because you can relate to others, you see yourself as a diplomat of sorts. You prefer to avoid disruption in the workplace if at all possible — especially if you can help others avoid discord.

You are particularly intuitive when it comes to reading some people. And because of your social smarts, people tend to like being around you. That's part of the power you bring to work. But unless you're in the right job, these strengths could be stifled. Want to know what your #1 right job is?"

*And then I would need to pay for the results. How annoying! =(

I want to know. Would be good..

Hmm. Anyways. Good day.. God bless....

1:43pm: Oh Sweet Sorrow
Due to the recent deaths of Johnny Cash and John Ritter. I love John Ritter's humor. I love Johnny Cash's expression. They are/will be missed, and I am sad. I hope/pray that they are in a better place now, and blessed by God.

I hope/pray that every human being will be blessed today by God, and that His good and pleasing will will be worked in their lives; all of our lives. I pray this in the name of Jesus, Christ, amen.

"I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way"


"Come and knock on our door ...
We've been waiting for you ...
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his,
Three's company too.

Come and dance on on our floor...
Take a step that is new ...
We've a loveable space that needs your face,
Three's company too.

You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you ...
Down at our rendez-vous,
Three's company, too!"


Johnny Cash: "How well I have learned that there is no fence to sit on between heaven and hell. There is a deep, wide gulf, a chasm, and in that chasm is no place for any man."

Johnny Cash: "We came to a point, my voice teacher and I, where she was...ready to throw up her hands because I was not going to budge from the way I was singing. And she said, 'Okay, sing something you like.' So I sang Hank Williams' "Lovesick Blues." And she put down her books and closed them up and said, 'Don't ever let anybody try to give you voice lessons again.' And so that was the beginning of my professional career, I guess."

John Ritter: "I once had a heated argument with Don Knotts. He looked me dead in the eye and said that I wasn't fit to shine Andy Griffith's shoes. I stayed up all night thinking about that and I said to myself, 'My God he's right.' The next day, I quit my job as Andy Griffith's shoe shiner."

John Ritter: "Most people don't know that I am an accomplished dramatic actor. I have a play on Broadway now with Henry Winkler called Dinner Party. But I've performed in several Shakespeare productions including Hamlet, except in this version, Hamlet lives in an apartment with two women, and has to pretend he's gay so that the landlord won't evict him."

http://www.johnnycash.com/

http://freespace.virgin.net/avril.bowles/welcome.htm

1:54pm: Huh??
This is what quizilla says about me:


Protector


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

I, like Abigail, am not sure if it is correct... Meh. Anyway.

Lots of love. I pray God blesses you all. I love you, and God loves you more, as always. =)

2:03pm: Garage Sale...
I'm having a garage sale and you are all invited, and you are all invited to have one with me. =) It'll be good and fun.

11:40am: Memories...
Last night I dreamt that my Grandpa was still alive. It was wonderful. (Kinda weird.) But wonderful.

11:39am: September 8, 2003
"Painting the Art Room In a Store In the Mall"

Amazingly the colors seem alive amidst the cool crisp walls of the studio. Casual sounds ebb away as entrance into the room is made. The paintings line the walls and it seems like an endless indulgence in fun! New people, old people, quite odd people's works draw all available purpose towards them as their viewers gaze on.

- Me

11:38am: September 8, 2003
"What Blessed People"

The day is perfectly hot. The days is wonderfully faint. The day is full of things to do and be had. The day is great. Two players and confidantes at best stand ready in their shoes. The movements are magical. They are real. Dances swirl and rejoice at the thoughts and the smiles and the love shown forth. Contagious dances that a grump couldn't keep from. But the time is contained oh so perfectly. The time, the people are wonderful. Smells of a lived in house fill the rooms as the woman is washing her dishes. Twittering moves high through the house to her ears from the outside. Clicking is a concious effort made by the dogs. As they roam about. The woman walks to the front door and peers to the man. He is working and sweating. Tending his garden. And a dove is flying about his head. From the farthest tree it has moved, time and time again. Closer until now it rests a foot away. Then again it swoops and makes its landing on the neck. The man pauses and continues. He smiles to his wife and she gapes at the tiny little bird on her husband's neck. The dove moves around comfortably and settles in all sorts of places. The woman has time to search for a picture, and four of these she has kept. A dove on her husband for hours of a day. What magic. The time was grand. And there will be another time. And one of these days it will stay. What magic.

- Me

11:35am: September 8, 2003
"A Mirror"

O what a moor. What dark grey accents the indistinguishable colors of the grounds. The mist hangs like a looking glass. Could there be a color rose? No, it is not a color rose. It is not a color rose.Tinges of blues and greens and yellows. Flowers that used to be. Colors are now a dream. Impossible to be grasped. Steal away a second and you shall lose what you saw. What a haze. What a moor. Darkness prevails. There is a light amongst the mist. But that is not the way it is. Cold, damp, dark permeates it all. The light is the illusion. Endless amounts of streams of things pour into blackness and life is but a lie. And the cold is but a failed brush. And the color of red is over like a cheerful drape.

- Me