Terrapin Station
Grateful Dead

Let my inspiration flow in token rhyme, suggesting rhythm,
That will not forsake you, till my tale is told and done.
While the firelight’s aglow, strange shadows from the flames will grow,
Till things we’ve never seen will seem familiar.

Shadows of a sailor, forming winds both foul and fair all swarm.
Down in Carlisle, he loved a lady many years ago.
Here beside him stands a man, a soldier from the looks of him,
Who came through many fights, but lost at love.

While the story teller speaks, a door within the fire creaks;
Suddenly flies open, and a girl is standing there.
Eyes alight, with glowing hair, all that fancy paints as fair,
She takes her fan and throws it, in the lion’s den.

Which of you to gain me, tell, will risk uncertain pains of hell?
I will not forgive you if you will not take the chance.
The sailor gave at least a try, the soldier being much too wise,
Strategy was his strength, and not disaster.

The sailor, coming out again, the lady fairly leapt at him.
That’s how it stands today. You decide if he was wise.
The story teller makes no choice. Soon you will not hear his voice.
His job is to shed light, and not to master.

Since the end is never told, we pay the teller off in gold,
In hopes he will come back, but he cannot be bought or sold.

Terrapin station.

Inspiration, move me brightly. Light the song with sense and color;
Hold away despair, more than this I will not ask.
Faced with mysteries dark and vast, statements just seem vain at last.
Some rise, some fall, some climb, to get to terrapin.
Counting stars by candlelight, all are dim but one is bright;
The spiral light of venus, shining first and rising best,
On, from the northwest corner, of a brand new crescent moon,
While crickets and cicadas sing, a rare and different tune,
Terrapin station.

In the shadow of the moon, terrapin station.
And I know we’ll be there soon, terrapin station.
I can’t figure out, terrapin, if it’s the end or beginning, terrapin,
But the train’s put it’s brakes on, terrapin,
And the whistle is screaming, terrapin.

Terrapin station - at the siding

While you were gone, these faces filled with darkness.
The obvious was hidden. With nothing to believe in,

Sullen wings of fortune beat like rain.
You’re back in terrapin for good or ill again, for good or ill again.

~My favorite song~

Current Mood: optimistic

Richard fixed my computer for me. He has magical computer powers.

Current Mood: happy

I hate SBC DSL I want my Comcast back! Here is what I've been through so far. I received a package from them with some hardware(modem) and software. I set up the modem and download the software. The software says my modem is not trained and then my computer shuts off. I try to start it again but all I get is a background screen with no icons or start menu. I call SBC and they say its a Microsoft XP problem, and to call them. I call them and they say it's my HP Pavillion laptop's fault and I should call HP. I call HP and they say it's SBC's fault, but don't worry, we'll just do a system restore of a week ago, and that software will magically disapear. OK so I do a system restore. I call SBC again and they say that my DSL line hasn't even been turned on yet, but it will be in a few days. I wait a few days, and re-install my software and try to access the internet again. The same thing happens. I figure, hey maybe they haven't turned it on yet so I guess I have to do another system restore and wait a few hours. I wait a few hours and do it again. The same thing happens again and I call SBC. They say, fix your computer and call back. I do a third system restore and call back and tell them they have sucky software. Then they say, oh, you don't need that software to get on the internet. It's OPTIONAL. Its only the BROWSER... AHHHHH!!! So I don't install it for the fourth time, and they say, well your modem isn't recognized, so lets look at your network driver thingamabob. Oh you have twelve of them, that's too many, find out wich one is the real one and call back.... Dodododoooo. Ok, this one is the real one. Well the problem is that your laptop has too many network driver whatevers and the modem doesn't know which one to use, so you will have to void your warantee on your new laptop that you bought two months ago and open it up and take out one of the drivers. You won't be able to use wireless internet access anymore though. Um no, I don't think I want to do that, are you insane? Comcast worked just fine, this is a new laptop, I'm not going to void my warantee just because your modem is ghetto. Send me a modem with USB instead of Ethernet (you whores!) Ok, we can do that, but you'll have to change your package which there is a fine for, and right now it's in a 3-5 day view only phase, so call back in 3-5 buisness days. Um no, send out a technician with a USB modem now for free. OK we can do that in 3-5 buisness days but there is a charge of $250 to see a technician and we'll have to change your package. Wait a minute, you're going to charge me cause you have a sucky modem that isn't compatible, and I have to wait a week also! I don't think so. I want to cancel. Ok if you cancel there is a charge of 2 or 3 hundred dollars cause you signed a year contract... So- Let me get this straight, you are going to charge me for a service I can't use, or you're going to charge me to fix my problem that is your fault or you're going to charge me if I decide I don't want to use SBC anymore? Let me talk to your manager.. Ok... and the phone disconnects....

I feel as though I am being screwed. And I have a supreme distaste for SBC now. AND I STILL DON'T HAVE THE INTERNET!!!!

Current Mood: aggravated

Just a quick note... If anyone has recieved an E-mail from my name with yahoo at the end of it instead of hotmail within the past two months, that wasn't me. I was being impersonated. I think the problem is fixed now, but just to be on the safe side, call me right away if you get an e-mail from anything other than my hotmail account, but I don't really e-mail people anyway. Also anything else weird involving me in any way on the internet. Thanks.

I still don't have interent. I am doing this at school between classes. It really sucks not having interent, but oh well. I actually have the DSL modem at my house, and I hooked it up to my laptop, but it's not trained, and it corrupted my laptop somehow. So I'm going to ask my upstairs neighbor who's supposedly good with computers, or get Richard or Dustin to help maybe.

Being sick the last two weeks has really been bad for me school-wise because I missed several classes and never learned all that important stuff they throw at you the first few sessions, so I've been doing major catching up. Even though I'm only working two days a week now, the weeks still goes by so fast I feel like I don't have time to do anything. My classes are pretty difficult, I'm taking Chemistry, Physics and Global Information Systems. Well actually GIS is only hard because I don't know a lot about computers, and Chemistry is kinda my thing, so Physics is the only hard class. PHyics is PHun as my H.S. physics teachers used to say... Meh. So I figure if I live at Roosevelt Mondays through Wednesdays I will understand everything.

Also a few new things have been happening in my life. I joined a Vampire of the Masquerades group that Amber is GMing. We meet once a week at Games Plus. I met a few new people, and to my pleasant surprise, Adam got Mitch to join, so I get to see him again. Mitch is quite the character. Also I'm really getting into Anne Rice, I've been reading some of her lesser known works, and when I'm done with those, I'm going to read Interview with the Vampire and Queen of the Damned. I went to Celestial Celebrations last weekend. My mom bought me a dark blue formal dress, and matching purse and I bought myself a saphire necklace and earings wich were too much money, but I really like them. I went with Chris, and Richard, my sister and my parents and some of the Jaycees went as well. There wasn't as much dancing as I thought there would be, and the food wasn't that great but I still had a good time. I saw my old italian teacher there, and I took a picture with her, and I got to dance with Chris a little.

Well its time for class, so goodbye.

Current Mood: busy

I still don't have DSL. Hopefully next week I'll have it. So I've been there for a week and a half now and it's been pretty cool, and hilarious at times. We are all moved in. The place cleaned up really well, and we decorated it and stuff. It is a weird cross of all our posessions somehow thrown together to make a home. Josh has his sound system set up around my tv, Frank has his weird sense of decortating which somehow included peacock feathers and old hats. Also we have lots of old lamps, tables and knick-knacks that we fixed up from the 60's or 70's. Everyone was telling me that Josh would be crazy to live with, but he's actually incredibly normal. He wakes up early every day, irons his work shirt and goes to work for like 12 hours. We wake up Frank every day by either being loud or Josh sometimes spoons him while he's sleeping. Frank has been applying at every retail location in the Chicagoland area. He's also playing with photoshop and is getting really good at it. They are both pretty neat and do the dishes on their own+++! Sometimes we all eat dinner together and watch a movie about Gandalf being a Nazi like some derranged family. The party was pretty crazy. I would have enjoyed it more if I wasn't sick. I have the flu or something. Yesterday I had a fever and was throwing up and stuff, and couldn't move at all without having a coughing fit, but Chris took care of me all day making me soup, oatmeal and tea. He's such a sweetheart. I wanna do something special for our one month anniversary which is also around Valentines day. Also if there is an anime night on Saturday me and Josh won't be there because we are going to Celestial Celebrations with our respective dates. But talk to Frank if you wanna go. Well I have to go hack up a lung before chemistry class so have a good evening.

Current Mood: sick

Moving in a blizzard is fuuuuunnnnnn.... Weee!!! I like skidding around and having cold feet. I'm somewhat tierd now, so goodnight. Moving Part 2 starts early tomorrow given that people will be able to get to my apartment without being buried alive in the snow.

This time next week I will be in Chicago! So much to do before then. The Condo is almost ready. The carpet cleaners are comming Tuesday. The basement will be unusable untill my mom gets the Salvation Army to come out there and haul away the crap. But the Christening party should be very soon!


Thirty-three

speak to me in a language i can hear
humour me before i have to go
deep in thought i forgive everyone
as the cluttered streets greet me once again
i know i can't be late, supper's waiting on the table
tomorrow's just an excuse away
so I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own
the earth laughs beneath my heavy feet
at the blasphemy in my old jangly walk
steeple guide me to my heart and home
the sun is out and up and down again
i know i'll make it, love can last forever
graceful swans of never topple to the earth
and you can make it last, forever you
you can make it last, forever you
and for a moment i lose myself
wrapped up in the pleasures of the world
i've journeyed here and there and back again
but in the same old haunts i still find my friends
mysteries not ready to reveal
sympathies i'm ready to return
i'll make the effort, love can last forever
graceful swans of never topple to the earth
tomorrow's just an excuse
and you can make it last, forever you
you can make it last, forever you

Current Mood: happy

If I knew how to do a LJ cut I would... Sorry. THis guy is hilarious!!!

I Beat Up A Retarded Guy, Is This Wrong?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: anon-55094505@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-01-10, 10:54AM CST


I was just curious, because I had this fight over the weekend, and now my girlfriend is totally pissed at me. I was hoping for someone to give me some good reasons to make her understand that it wasn't my fault.

The story is, we were hanging out at a friend of her's house, and one of her friends neighbors brought her brother who is a little retarded. I don't mean that he is just annoying, or a geek, he is really clinically retarded, just not so severe that he can't carry on some conversation or anything. It is one of those things where his face is a little too big, he talks with a little bit of effort, and he probably has a much below average IQ. I don't really know that much about his condition, like I said before, I was at her friends' house, I barely knew anybody.

So the evening is going along just fine, and most of the night I don't hang around where the retarded guy is, because it is a little weird to be all fucked up and trying to not stare or make the guy feel uncomfortable or anything. But sometime after midnight, I end up sitting on their porch with the retarded guy, his sister, my girlfriend, and a couple of her guy friends. My girlfriend is sitting right next to the retarded guy, and i notice that his leg is kind of swinging into hers every so offten, and sometimes he seems to let his hand kind of fall onto her leg. He is trying to act like it is just part of his retard thing, but I know that he is doing it on purpose. He also keeps making a dumb joke about taking my girlfriend out on a "big date to the zoo". Everyone is kind of laughing with him when he says this, but I know that he is just trying to get away with shit because he is retarded.

After about an hour, the retard gets up to go to the bathroom, and as he is walking across the porch, he stumbles and spills his glass of lemonade on me. Now this time, I am sure this on purpose, he is pretending he can't walk so he can humilate me in front of my girlfriend that he has been fondling and hitting on all night, and I just lose it. I just shot right up from where I was sitting, grabbed him by his shirt and started smacking him square in the face. He struggled a little, but clearly I was in control of the fight, and he may have kicked me, or even tried to bite me a couple of times, by the end of it he was flat on his back and I was hammering in a few extra blows for good measure.


Finally a couple of the guys at the party managed to pull me off of him, and he wasn't really in all that bad of shape. There was a little blood, a lot of tears, but nothing was broken. My girlfriend and I leave the party, and on the way home she tells me, "I can't believe you, you are a monster, I don't know if I can even be with you anymore".

WTF?!?! I don't care who you are, no guy is going to let someone keep touching and hitting on their girlfriend and then not freak out when the same guy spills a drink on him. I will admit that I was a little wasted, so maybe I went too far with it, but the guy was totally asking for it, and he isn't like one of those comatose retards, he's like one of those, cleaning up the bathrooms at McDonalds retards.

Well anyways, that is the story, I'm sure I was a little wrong, but not "you're a monster" wrong. I think she just doesn't understand how guys work, whether they are retarded or not, they all of dicks, and they are all looking for someplace to stick it. Let me know if you have anything to say that might get me out of trouble, thanks.


it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


Re: Beating up Retards

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: anon-55110204@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-01-10, 12:36PM CST


I just can't believe you people.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough about this guy, he is retarded, sure, he has some facial deformities, sure, he walks with a slight limp, sure and he sometimes doesn't have the finest of motor skills, sure. But he does go to work everyday at a McDonalds(I wasn't kidding), he lives at home, but from what I gather, he does most of his stuff for himself. I say if you know how to go to work, you can tell the mop from the broom, you know not to try and touch your bosses tits, you should be able to be at a party and not repeatedly touch someone elses girlfriend.

Believe me, this guy was totally taking advantage of his handicap to try and get a cheap thrill from touching my girlfriend's thigh, or making a joke about taking her out on a "big date". Maybe I could have stopped when I had him pinned on the ground, I would say that I had pretty much won by that point. But once you start going, sometimes it is hard to stop.

And don't worry people, I know my girl, I guarantee I will have her ass up in the air, begging me to fuck her by the end of the night. There's nothing like when you have given a girl some of the best orgasms of her life, especially if she is exploring her submissive fantasies for the first time. I could probably beat up her grandmother, and if I came up behind her later that night, and told her I wanted her on her knees sucking my dick, she would forget all about her mom, and have my cock halfway down her throat in a couple of seconds. So when I'm making her beg for my cock later tonight, I'll remember all the dumbass craigslist people that don't even understand women well enough to know that you can get away with anything if you know how to handle them right.


this is in or around OP
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Current Mood: amused

Threat rating: Low. You are annoying, but too much
of a softy tree hugger to pose any threat to
the mighty machine of Republican progress. And
the FBI know where you live.


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I took this quiz 5 months ago and it said low in everything and moderate in dependancy.

"Every New Year's Day since 1976 the University has issued an annual 'List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use or General Uselessness' compiled from nominations sent from all over the world, covering all manner of word or phraseology which some consider to be worthy of exile. For more than a quarter-century our list has rooted out grammatical subterfuge at the source. Doublespeak and sloppy talk continue to flourish. Now is not the time to drop our guard."

Here are 10 of the 22 banned words and phrases on the 2005 list, complete with definitions, that were winnowed down from some 2,000 entries:

Blue States/Red States: Blue is Democrat. Red is Republican. Why can't a map have more than two colors?

Flip-Flop, Flip-Flopper, Flip-Flopping: It doesn't matter how you say it or to whom, flip-flops belong at the beach, not in a political dialogue.

Battleground State: During an election, every state is a battleground.

"...and I approve this message." This phrase that was included in every political ad received the most nominations of the words and phrases that came out of the presidential election. Here's a question to ponder: Would candidates approve a message with which they disagreed?

Pockets of Resistance: As one nominee put it: It sounds like someone having trouble pulling their hands out of their pants' pockets.

Enemy Combatant: Do we have friendly combatants? Neutral combatants? Or how about enemy bystanders?

Carbs: It used to mean carburetor. Now it's something you count, eat, avoid eating, feel guilty for eating, and eventually ignore. Then it becomes a carburetor again.

You're Fired!: If we mere mortals say the words made famous by Donald Trump, is it a trademark infringement?

Izzle: By far, this was the abomination that received the most nominations. It is a kind of "rap-Latin" suffix, as in fa'shizzle, which means "for sure." Overused!

Wardrobe Malfunction: The phrase Justin Timberlake created to describe Janet Jackson's Super Bowl mishap is sure to become this generation's Watergate, to be applied in all sorts of situations.

Current Mood: contemplative

So if it is snowing and a weekday, don't call me after 9 cause I will have to be at work at 5:30 the next day to shovel. I was plowing a sidewalk today in front of an elementary school and a soccer mom approached me and asked, 'Could you plow the sidewalk from the street to the school, the handicapped children can't get to the door.' And I'm there thinking, shit, nomatter what happens I'm screwed. Well, I'll do the right thing and suffer the consequences. So I'm like, 'Well actually thats not park property. I work for the park district, not the school, but I'll do it anyway.' So I try to explain to the guy I'm working with who only speaks spanish whats going on, and ask if its ok if I can help, cause there was a special ed bus sitting there with handicapped children waiting inside to go to school, and I was the only one that could help. So I plow the sidewalk, and Saul comes over and says, Stop that, you get in trouble. So I finish the sidewalk anyway which took about 5 minutes, and go back to work. Later my supervisor comes along, and Saul tells her what I did, and she was like, I'm going in the school to tell them that they need to do their own sidewalks. Then she tells my boss about it, and it is the topic of conversation for the day. They were like, if you damaged soemthing you could be sued, its not your fault their handicapped, its the school's fault, wasting taxpayer money, etc. Anyway I didn't get in trouble. Cause I figured, if I didn't do it, they might call and complain how heartless the employees are or whatever, and I think my boss knew that.

Other news. I've spent $350 in clothes for my job this year. Full time employees get their stuff paid for. I don't cause I'm seasonal, so not only do I make $5 less an hour, not get benefits, vacation, sick days, personal days, have to take off three weeks a year, I also have to buy my own clothes. I really need a pair of jeans, cause I wore through three pairs already, so all I have left are khakis to wear to work every day now which aborbs snow fairly well and dosn't keep you too warm. Also I really need boots cause all I have are my shoes, and I have to wear plastic booties over them to keep my feet dry. Its so gay, but I have no money to get anything right now.

Current Mood: tired

Well my three weeks of vacation are over, back to work tomorrow. So during my three weeks off I worked out, cleaned my house, cleaned and painted my new house, went to Chicago several times such as Dave and Busters, an Irish Pub, the Planetarium, went to midnight mass, hung out with many of my friends, met a ton of new people, and had a kick-ass New Years party.

Lots of funny things happened, and I think everyone had a good time except the morning after when Laura realized her camera was missing. I'm turning my whole place upsidedown looking for it. I also found out that Melly loves me, but I'm a bad influence on her, and she looks awesome in shiny silver pants.

Richard told me that if you want to make Frank throw up mix 5 shots tequilla rose, a little orange juice and pour a lot of vodka together and make him drink it.

Dude, I got a Tarot card reading, and a Native American Tarot card reading and it was awesome and kinda insightful, so i think I'm gonna pick up a deck of my own.

CAN EVERYONE SAVE ME EMPTY GALLON JUGS? CAUSE I NEED 30 IN A MONTH TO MOVE MY FISH TANK. I WILL COME GET THEM.

And, and, and I just wanted to say that I looooveee all of you!!!!

I'm so happy i got a D in Pre-calc!!!! That was the last hard math class I have to take! I thought i was going to fail! I got A's in all my other classes, so my GPA for the semester is still 3.0. Well it will get higher now, cause everythng left is easy. Thank you god! This makes my day. Next semester I am taking Physics, Chemistry and GIS. If I didn't pass I would have had to take it again cause it is a requirement for organic chemistry and physics. I can kinda see a dim, flickering light at the end of the tunnel of Bachelor's degree in Environmental Science.


HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well I had a nice night. I met up with James for coffee at Starbucks, and then went to EB to see Dustin, Mariusz and Frank. I jumped over to Hot Rags really quick to buy my last crap from them. Everything in the store is 70% off now, and they close the 30th!!! So then James abducted me to go hang out with his uber-religious friends at a pub who's name in Gaelic means kiss my ass. It was definatley out of the ordinary to hang out with those people, cause they were like, my favorite mass song is blah but not that version, the other one. And they were talking about how pre-marital intercourse is bad, sex toys are bad, and kept refering to 'marital embrace' and I was sitting there twiddling my thumbs not fitting in, and was like, 'Why don't you just say sex?' Then the bartender laughed cause he was more on my level. There was also this awesome Irish chick bartender that gave us free shots, and was hitting on James who is half Irish, and she told us abot this great place for Irish Breakfast like 10 minutes from my house, so in a few weeks, James is going to make me go to a Latin mass at St. John Cantius and get some black pudding at the Irish place after.

This year sucked. I had a few major fights with people and I wish things were better, so I tried to make it better with a few people a few different times. And it may not work out. But you have to move on with your life. I have confidence in myself. I know I will have a good life.