Hello World

Okay guys, what the hell just happened???

Spoil away in the comments.

Hi, computers! I'm back from elsewhere. I graduate on Sunday.

Now, let's talk Lost:

( spoilers ahead, although you really should have seen it by now )

Also, I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall today. I liked it quite a bit. Apatow is pretty good at making unambitious, funny movies with heart-warming endings. He's not so good at portraying three-dimensional female characters, though, which is getting a bit old.

I'm leaving town til Monday. Have a nice week, computers.

And I've got to tell you, it feels good. 2 weeks off before I have to start studying for the bar exam. I think I'll use the time for a) lying on a beach drinking disgusting rum drinks, b) reading books for FUN, c) seeing a dozen movies, d) playing video games and d) sleeping. Not necessarily in that order.

Google upgraded its shared items system and it made my day.

Okay guys, I'm back from California (it was fun). Now I'm watching last week's Lost. Please feel free to vent and discuss your thoughts on the episode below. When I finish watching I will weigh in in the comments.

I'm flying to California now, guys, because it's been 5 years since I graduated. I would say that it seems like I left just yesterday, but it doesn't. It feels like it's been a long, long time. So it should be fun and weird to be back on campus.

Plans: In-N-Out at least three times, drinking beer in all of my old dorms, exclaiming "they look so young!" about current undergrads, and making fun of friends for things they did before GWB took office.

I can't believe anyone would write this:

A ballplayer who cheats on his wife? I am shocked. A young girl who is seduced by the "charms" of an older man, said charms consisting mainly that he has his picture on bubblegum cards and an obscenely outsized paycheck? I am double-shocked.

The fact that she was 15 and he 28? Well, that one is a little tougher to get around, but these days, 15 is the new 30. Ask Miley Cyrus and her dad, who had no problem posing for an Annie Leibovitz photo spread with his scantily clad teenage daughter -- looking creepily like his girlfriend -- which, of course, was the only way that has-been was ever getting into Vanity Fair.

If you're keeping score at home, that is one--1--defense of statutory rape based on the fact that Miley Cyrus had some racy photographs taken of her. Yeah, that seems like the same thing... except for the part where a grown (and married) man has a sexual relationship with a fifteen-year-old, of course. Oh, right, and one is perfectly legal and the other is a felony.

After all, if McCready is the one who leaked this story, how different is she, really, from Clemens?

The same way Clemens (allegedly) turned to steroids and HGH to restart a dead career, McCready might now be turning to Clemens for precisely the same reason.

One difference? She didn't seduce a fifteen-year-old when she was twenty-eight. But yeah, they're the same.

I threw out
your fireworks
that you bought
in Mexico

the ones
you planned
to set off
at the funeral

I just think
explosives are inappropriate
when Jack died
of a ruptured appendix

Lost secrets below the fold...

( sooooooooo )

Also, 30 Rock was AWESOME tonight. And the Office was pretty great, too, although it would have been funnier if they hadn't overplayed the whole Ryan's-a-cokehead thing.

After the tenor Juan Diego Flórez popped out his nine shining high C’s in “La Fille du Régiment” at the Metropolitan Opera on Monday night, the crowd rose and cheered. Mr. Flórez obliged with something not heard on the Met stage since 1994: a solo encore.

This whole encore at the Met story is pretty sweet. I don't have much to say except that I wish I knew/cared about opera, so I could appreciate it in a more than superficial fashion. Anyway, more on it here (you can listen to the performance, with encore, on either of those pages, or just download it here).

I think I'm falling in love with @comcastcares.

Selections:

Fact-Checker Hate (n. or v.): This is a hate that is directed at a miniscule, often meaningless mistake that only could have been pointed out if the Hater did a particularly pathetic amount of research to verify that the original statement was in fact technically wrong.

Insecure Male Hate (n.): A hate where a man will hate on a woman - or women - due to her being much more successful and respected than he is, or his general fear of being emasculated.

Also known as: Porsche Hate.

Trojan Hate (n. or v.): A hate in which the hater appears to be complimenting someone but is in fact hating on them. Also known as a "backhanded hate".

"Wow, you're a really great actor. You should get your own sitcom on Fox, just like Michael Rappaport."

Brought to you by the inestimable Not Hating, Just Saying. Click here for the rest.

At McLean School, Playing Tag Turns Into Hot Potato

Robyn Hooker, principal of Kent Gardens Elementary School, has told students they may no longer play tag during recess after determining that the game of chasing, dodging and yelling "You're it!" had gotten out of hand. Hooker explained to parents in a letter this month that tag had become a game "of intense aggression."

"This has absolutely nothing to do with getting teased throughout my own childhood because my last name is 'Hooker,'" she added.

Free Range Kids. This one's for forwardthe.

Get on Twitter. I'm @calamityjake.

You may know him as Larry "the Cable Guy." He's changed in every way but the one that really counts.

Video found in the comments here.

What's a nice place to go for a week or two in September? Here are the requirements:

1) Hammocks
2) Cheap beer
3) Water
4) Not incredibly expensive to get to

Ideally, I would like to avoid those places that are overrun with dudes selling shitty t-shirts, but I know that may not be possible.

Thoughts?

I'm sad that Lost won't be back on for a few more weeks, but it's probably good news for my chances at graduating in May--I have a huge amount of work to do in the next month, and I need the world to cooperate by not providing any distractions until it's all over. So if you guys could just be boring for the next four weeks, I'd really appreciate it. If you're not sure what being boring entails, just check out vengeance_is_me's journal for tips.

Other news: I am thinking about changing the theme on my other blog. It has been a brown and orange blocky mess for years now. But revising it meaningfully would entail a lot of work, and time, which I really should be using for my academic pursuits instead.

Other other news: april fools, yeah. whatever. the internet needs to chill out about this wacky day, because the bigger a deal you make of it the less enjoyable it is.

Ian got hacked. Discuss.