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Monday, October 3rd, 2005
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11:35 pm
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| Monday, February 21st, 2005
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7:37 pm
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| Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
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2:30 pm
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Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
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5:58 pm
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| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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9:09 am
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| Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
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6:39 pm
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I think this journal is lonely
don't worry
I still love you!
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 26th, 2004
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5:21 pm
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| Monday, August 23rd, 2004
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1:19 am
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"But, for the unquiet heart and brain
A use in measured language lies;
the sad mechanic exercise,
Like dull narcotics, numbing pain." Tennyson; In Memoriam
New Outlet
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
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11:34 am - What I am; What I am not
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I'm not really an idealist so it is hard to create myself in an 'ideal' form. In these qualities I assign to the character that is my 'perfect self' I can't help but see the faults that I would assign to my perfect character as well as the virtues.
My character would be verbally talented and persuasive; however, that influence in speech would be reinforced by action. She would be open, unpretending and unpretencious but she would retain a degree of seperation between herself and strangers. She would cross any number of oceans to help a friend in need, despite long periods of seperation or arguement.
In goals she would unafraid to cut a few corners, but she would assess those corners and never take the easy way out if the harder were more gratifying. She would not step on someone else to get ahead. Any success she gained would be accepted modestly and she would acknowledge the help she had along the way; she would take responsibility for her failures.
She is twice as demanding of herself than of other people, but always feels herself on an equal plane with anyone she meets. She is unrelenting, failure, doubt and difficulty can not stop her in her persuits. She isn't ashamed to be afraid, only ashamed to let fear stop her. She dares.
Love is given by her without restraint, but when the walls crumble and fall she sheds her tears and moves on. She refuses to settle for anything but genuine love, on both sides. She is indepentant and even in love retains a degree of freedom. She goes where she pleases, sees who she likes, but her loyalty never falters.
She's a casual seductress, doesn't resort to flashy inticing clothing or vulgarity and because of that she is saught out by men and women of a wide range of ages. She doesn't seek or even like being the center of attention and prefurs to keep an active equal conversation. She listens. When she speaks people listen, they find her intellegent, imaginative, and passionate. She is all of qualities but doesn't seek to assert that on others, she has class and sophistication but remains light-hearted, with a youthful vivacity.
She sees humor in daily toils, but doesn't seek to hurt people with her mockery. When the situations calls she is always serious, attentive and ready to take commands. She recieves criticism well, but gets flustered at compliments.
She is a fighter, but works silently unless in a passion. She believes that the best revenge is moving past an offence and, while she is quick to forgive, once her trust is lost it must be reearned. She assesses her life to find places where she can improve herself, but never gets trapped in the past. She doesn't get trapped in worrying about the future either. SHe lives in the present.
She finds pleasure in many things, great and small. She can be a child flying a kite or a woman sipping champange on a balcony and find equal pleasure in both. She doesn't care for material possessions and any aquisition of wealth matters in broadening the scope of her possibilities. She loves to share her enjoyments and isn't miserly, but doesn't spend flippantly.
She is thankful. Thankful to her parents, friends and loves for the sacrifices made for her. Thankful for the comforts she was lucky enough to be born with and realizes how lucky she is. She wishes help less fortunate than she, but does not seek to impose her morals or standards on other people. She understands that money alone does not determine happiness.
She relizes that she can be self-consumed and works to keep outside of herself. She doesn't want to be selfish but acknowledges that at times she is.
She knows she has many faults, but appreciates them in her individuality. She doesn't strive to be different, but only seeks to be what is natural to her.
More than anything she is genuinely happy to be alive and eager to experience everything the world has to offer. Her biggest fear is regret.
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c0sm1c_creep3rs's journal
