(Gundam SEED: Dearka x Millie) First and Last
Originally for 30_kisses

Title: First and Last
Author/Artist: hemlocke
Pairing: Dearka Elthman x Miriallia Haww
Fandom: Gundam SEED / Gundam SEED DESTINY
Theme: #30 (kiss)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Gundam SEED and its characters belong to Sunrise and Bandai. Pity about that. But I want to play with them so don't sue me please.


First and Last
Dearka is Millie's first lover. It's not like she was totally inexperienced before she met Dearka. After all, she was with Tolle before she met with Dearka. She and Tolle used to hold hands when they were in college. Tolle used to give her the occasional shy pecks on the cheek when he bid her good night outside her house way back on Heliopolis. Later, when they were both on the Archangel and there were no disapproving parents around, they even dared a few fumbling kisses on the lips.

But Dearka was the first person she had invited to stay the night. He was the first person she brought to her bed, the first person to touch her intimately and whisper sweet nothings into her ear at four a.m. in the morning. And she likes opening her eyes from sleep in the morning and seeing Dearka next to her, mouth slack in sleep and chest rising evenly with each intake of breath.

However, she also realises that she is not Dearka's first lover. It's not something they talk about but both acknowledge. After all, Dearka was right there the day the white-haired pilot of Duel Gundam had opened the door to Dearka's hospital room on PLANT and caught the two of them kissing. Dearka's hand was underneath her blouse (the other hand was trapped in a cast) and she was sitting on his hospital bed, hands tangled in his soft blonde hair. Yzak had excused himself immediately but there was no mistaking that combination of betrayal, jealousy and sadness in his eyes before he left.

Dearka had apologised profusely for the interruption but it was heartening for Millie to note that he had made no effort to chase after Yzak. He merely sighed, brushed his lips against her forehead and softly said,"He'll come around eventually." They never discussed Yzak again after that, with Millie respecting that invisible boundary Dearka had drawn. Yzak was his to deal with alone.

They were separated after that but there were unspoken promises though both never voiced them. Dearka returned to ZAFT. Millie didn't like the idea at all but she also understood that there were many issues unresolved still for Dearka and defecting permanently from ZAFT would only be cowardly. She didn't want to have anything more with the military after that stint so she took the opportunity to finally explore her longtime hobby, which was photography. One thing led to another and she became a freelance photojournalist.

They even lost contact for a long while when the second war broke out. Oh, they were calling it by some other euphemistic term but Millie knew war when she saw it and this current round of "aggressive self-defence" rubbish was definitely one. Though this time, it would appear that ZAFT might actually be in the wronged party. Though Millie was much wiser now and knew better than to take sides.

Dearka was so quiet for so long that Millie had managed to convince herself that what they had was just a temporary fling; after all, she was lost after Tolle's death and Dearka himself was a prisoner of war in a hostile environment. Both were looking for company to alleviate those feelings of bereavement and despair. Or so she told herself during those silent nights alone. She tried to get in touch with Dearka but nothing seemed to get through. In the early days, she left him, or rather, his answering machine details of her next assignment so he would have a way to find her but when no reply came, she gave up.

Then Dearka turned up unexpectedly at her hotel room when she was on assignment, unshaven, uniform slightly worse for wear and distinctly travel-weary. How he had discovered her exact location was "classified information" he claimed. He had snuck a weekend off during the lull in hostilities begging some long-delayed leave. Grudgingly approved by Yzak, he added and he waved a communicator to emphasise the point that he was supposed to remain contactable. Millie suspected he had blackmailed Yzak into agreeing to his request but she wasn't going to argue about his methods, not when it brought Dearka to her side.

The reason for the visit became clear that night when Dearka placed a simple ring with solitaire diamond on her left ring finger. And then he proceeded to apologise for his his erstwhile neglect by showering her face with many, many kisses. The exact details were lost in the heat of passion but Millie vaguely got the idea that there was some communications ban with non-PLANT citizens.

His face was taut with anger, recalling the arbitrary ban - there was no chance to even give her one last call as warning. Millie stroked his face in a soothing gesture, not wanting to see him in a bad mood. It hardly mattered now that he was with her, if only for a few hours. Dearka relaxed at her gentle touch, yawning widely and falling asleep in her arms.

Dearka left very early the next morning but not before giving her one last kiss goodbye and a hearfelt promise to return to her once the war was over. Or maybe she could go to PLANT and be with him instead; so long as they were together. With that promise, Millie knew that though she might not be Dearka's first lover, but she was extremely happy to know that she was definitely his last.