butterpies (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} butterpies) wrote,@ 2005-04-20 21:41:00 |
|
(Gundam SEED: Dearka x Millie) Unrivaled
For![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
30_kisses, this is a companion story to Invincible.
Title: Unrivaled
Author:hemlocke
Pairing: Dearka Elthman x Miriallia Haww
Fandom: Gundam SEED / SEED DESTINY
Theme: #16 (invincible; unrivaled)
Disclaimer: Gundam SEED and its characters belong to Sunrise and Bandai. Pity about that. But I want to play with them so don't sue me please.
Rating: G
Status: part 2 of 2 (complete)
Unrivaled
There was a time when Millie thought Tolle was the best guy in the world. And whyever not? He was her boyfriend after all, her first love. They had met in college on Heliopolis. She was drawn to his cute, bumbling shyness and his gentle manner. He in turn, used to tell her that she was the sunshine of his life. Because she was bright and cheery and loved to laugh. It was such a cheesy line and hardly original but she liked it anyway, because it gave her this warm feeling inside. They had long idle talks together about finishing college and getting engaged in their senior year.
Her student life was interrupted dramatically when Heliopolis was attacked and Earth's secret defence systems were hijacked. She witnessed Gundams in battle for the first time; though she wasn't initially able to recognise them for what they were. But what she did know was that she was both awed and frightened by the immense power of the Gundams, of their sheer destructive potential. She could have grown to hate the sight of them but fortunately, Kira demonstrated that they could be a force for good.
Somehow, they both were drawn into the war and actually enlisted to serve. It was both exhilirating and scary to be directly involved in the war. They were initially just a stopgap measure to fill up the crew manifest but soon became valuable members. It pleased Millie to be able to contribute directly to the war effort.
When they put her in charge of communications, she worked very hard at learning to recognise the different Gundams, be it from visuals or from their IFF signals. Soon the names Aegis, Duel, Buster, Blitz and Strike rolled off her lips naturally. Many people didn't know it but she actually spoke to the ship mechanics and Kira to ask them to explain the different weapons systems on each Gundam. When she was done with the Gundams, she started learning about the different classes of mobile suits.
So when Tolle volunteered to learn to be the back up pilot for the Skygrasper, she was naturally worried, now that she knew more about the capabilities of each mobile suit. She understood the need for more pilots but there was that selfish wish to keep Tolle safe away from the direct line of fire. It was silly and unwarranted, since they were in a war and could die any time no matter where but at least if Tolle were on board Archangel, she felt more in control.
But fly he did and he actually wasn't doing too bad at it. Good enough to go out to battle. She was so proud of him but so afraid. But it felt nice to call out his name before he launched. There was this heady feeling of "Look, he's my boyfriend and he's out there protecting us and don't you think that's just so cool?"
Her world collapsed when he died. She heard the collective horrified gasp of the bridge crew when Tolle's unit was destroyed, could unconsciously feel the unspoken questions on whether she could continue being functional. She held on but just barely, her composure slipping by the moment. She wondered how long more the battle would last but in a twisted coincidence, Aegis blew up along with Strike and there was the end of it. The pilot of Buster Gundam decided to surrender and she finally got off the bridge.
By then, it was impossible to rein the tears in and she cried like never before. Now, she felt truly bereft. She coped well with the separation from her parents because Tolle was there with her to share the pain. But he was gone now and all the aspirations they had about living a life together after the war had gone up in smoke like him.
Sai walked her back to the infirmary and they passed the captured pilot of Buster. For somebody who was just recently imprisoned, he didn't appear too upset. Hate for him blazed through her veil of grief after hearing his uninvited comments. He represented all that she had come to resent in the war - Coordinator, Gundam pilot, murderer.
As she sat on the infirmary bed, trying desperately to collect herself, she heard the pilot continue talking. Anger bloomed in her, that this boy, this murderer could be blithely making conversation when he had no idea, no idea of all of the enormity of her loss. And when he made that remark about Tolle, something in her snapped.
There was no explanation for it. Why else would a mild-mannered girl transform into a raging would-be killer? And for those few moments of insanity, she truly wanted him dead. She was furious at the injustice of it all; that such a callous person could still be alive and making jokes at Tolle's expense when Tolle himself was dead. He had no right to live.
So she tried to stab him. She wasn't sucessful, thankfully but then Fllay had to come in and try to complete her botched job. Rational thought returned and she instinctly fought to shield him from Fllay's gun, moved by this instinctive feeling that no human being should die just because he was a Coordinator.
She will never forget that betrayed look in Fllay's eyes. True, she had attempted the exact same crime but their motivations were different. She wanted that blonde pilot dead because he was alive when Tolle was not, and not because of what he was. She would have done the same if he had been a Natural.
As things turned out, he didn't kill Tolle. Somehow, that relieved Millie, that the killer of her boyfriend was not on the same ship as her. His name was Dearka, she found that out later.
He annoyed her with his easy familiarity initially. She thought he was rather cheeky, going around using "omae" with her. Then he learnt her name and had wanted to go on a first name basis after that. Of course she said no! Tolle never did such things.
Maybe it was because he was an elite Gundam pilot or maybe it was some innate Coordinator trait but Dearka's intelligent violet eyes told you that he was aware of his superiority. Tolle, on the other hand, was always a little self-effacing. Dearka wasn't flashy but he exuded strength and self-assurance.
Even after being captured, Dearka had held himself proud, back straight and head high. He refused to apologise for being himself. It was amazing, the differences between Dearka and Tolle. And once she started, she just couldn't stop comparing the two of them. A voice inside her head whispered that it was wrong to do so, that she was being unfaithful to Tolle but Dearka was truly compelling.
There was no denying that Dearka was infinitely more attractive than Tolle. He was very striking to look at, what with his blonde hair and dark skin. His Coordinator genes and intense training required as a pilot had granted him an impressive physique despite his youth. He also seemd more jaded, less naive.
He was also funny. They both avoided bringing the matter up but Millie sensed an indirect attempt at apology. He was nicer, more polite and extremely gentlemanly during the first few weeks after the incident. It was flattering as it reminded her of Tolle's early days when he was still wooing her. Then, Dearka's real personality began to shine through and he began talking more in an attempt to persuade her to stay in the brig with him longer. He cracked jokes (many of them bad), discussed politics and talked about their lives in general.
Dearka was more forward too. Tolle seemed so innocent compared to Dearka. Tolle had waited a long time before he had dared to touch Millie. The first time he held her hand, his cheeks were a brilliant crimson, and he had this sheepish look on his face, as if he was afraid she would hit him. Dearka had no such inhibitions. Just barely within a few weeks of meeting her, he made his move.
It's not that she hadn't expected it. There were hints that Dearka was attracted to her as they got to know each other better, hints that she stubbornly refused to acknowledge and in fact, subtly tried to disourage. It just wasn't right, not so soon after Tolle.
It wasn't much and nothing was ever direct but some of his jokes grew more ribald and his conversations a lot more suggestive. Millie attempted to squash such behaviour but Dearka was remarkably persistent. Then one day, just after after she placed the food tray down in his cell, Dearka made an attempt to hold her hand. She had withdrawn immediately, shocked at the bold touch and hastily stood up to leave.
Dearka was faster, thanks to his being a Coordinator. In one fluid motion, he stood up, reached through the bars of the cell, grabbed her upper arm and pulled her gently but firmly back to him, recapturing one of her hands. He had whispered "Don't go," and Millie stood rooted to the spot; scandalised by his actions.
His hands felt different from Tolle's. Tolle's hands were smaller, almost the same as Millie's in fact, the skin softer, reflective of his prior occupation as a student. However, Millie's hands were easily lost in Dearka's strong grip. His hands were rough, callused. It bespoke of long hours of weapons training and physical activities.
Much to her amazement, he raised her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles, lips passing sensuously over her skin, staring deep into her eyes as he did so. His violet eyes were full of promise, of unspoken pleasures that she certainly never experienced with Tolle. They told her wordlessly that if given a chance, they could share much, much more together than just empty conversations and bad jokes.
Millie's long devotion to Tolle finally wavered then, as she battled barely suppressed feelings of attraction and simple plain lust, aroused by that simple touch. Reality came crashing down as she remembered Tolle and grief and guilt quickly dampened her desire. For a short-lived moment, anger flared, directed at Dearka for making her feel this way.
She had dropped his hands and ran away, unwilling to face up to the truth. Because for that fleeting moment, Millie had thought traitorously that maybe Tolle wasn't unrivaled after all. Perhaps, just perhaps, if given time, Dearka might be even more special than Tolle.
Epilogue
"You fought for us," Millie gripped the railing to the launching platform tightly, hands white. "Why?" Around them, mechanics rushed to begin repairs on the Gundams, Buster included.
Dearka walked closer to her, helmet tucked under his arm. He looked tired but happy. Millie stared hard at him. Something was different about Dearka now, he looked more peaceful, less restless. He stopped within a few steps of her, suddenly awkward. He scratched his head, feeling self-conscious.
"Actually, I'm not sure myself. But I can tell you that I don't believe in ZAFT's reasons for war anymore. There's no reason for me to fight for them. I don't want to be their pawn to be tossed around when they want. I'm done with that. I want to choose my own side now, you know?"
"I see," Millie turned to leave.
"Millie," Dearka called out to her.
She turned. "Yes?"
Dearka wasn't done yet. He closed the distance between them with a few swift steps and grasped her wrist. "I fought for you too," he whispered, staring intensely into her big green eyes.
She nodded, eyes brimming with sudden tears at the profound implication of his words. "I know. But I..." her voice cracked, unable to continue.
He wiped away her tears with a gentle hand and drew her even closer. This time, she allowed herself to be pulled into the warm circle of his arms, her head tucked under his chin. "It's OK. You don't have to say anything now. I'll wait."
Millie closed her eyes, shutting out the rest of the world and concentrated on feeling Dearka's arms around her. She gripped the front of his jumpsuit tight. "Aaa. Thank you."
Note: This is Millie's half of theme #16 (invincible; unrivaled). It's taken from a slightly different time period and perspective from Dearka's. It's slower-paced and more serious. Since well, he's a guy and things are always a bit more direct for them.
For
30_kisses, this is a companion story to Invincible. Title: Unrivaled
Author:
hemlockePairing: Dearka Elthman x Miriallia Haww
Fandom: Gundam SEED / SEED DESTINY
Theme: #16 (invincible; unrivaled)
Disclaimer: Gundam SEED and its characters belong to Sunrise and Bandai. Pity about that. But I want to play with them so don't sue me please.
Rating: G
Status: part 2 of 2 (complete)
Unrivaled
There was a time when Millie thought Tolle was the best guy in the world. And whyever not? He was her boyfriend after all, her first love. They had met in college on Heliopolis. She was drawn to his cute, bumbling shyness and his gentle manner. He in turn, used to tell her that she was the sunshine of his life. Because she was bright and cheery and loved to laugh. It was such a cheesy line and hardly original but she liked it anyway, because it gave her this warm feeling inside. They had long idle talks together about finishing college and getting engaged in their senior year.
Her student life was interrupted dramatically when Heliopolis was attacked and Earth's secret defence systems were hijacked. She witnessed Gundams in battle for the first time; though she wasn't initially able to recognise them for what they were. But what she did know was that she was both awed and frightened by the immense power of the Gundams, of their sheer destructive potential. She could have grown to hate the sight of them but fortunately, Kira demonstrated that they could be a force for good.
Somehow, they both were drawn into the war and actually enlisted to serve. It was both exhilirating and scary to be directly involved in the war. They were initially just a stopgap measure to fill up the crew manifest but soon became valuable members. It pleased Millie to be able to contribute directly to the war effort.
When they put her in charge of communications, she worked very hard at learning to recognise the different Gundams, be it from visuals or from their IFF signals. Soon the names Aegis, Duel, Buster, Blitz and Strike rolled off her lips naturally. Many people didn't know it but she actually spoke to the ship mechanics and Kira to ask them to explain the different weapons systems on each Gundam. When she was done with the Gundams, she started learning about the different classes of mobile suits.
So when Tolle volunteered to learn to be the back up pilot for the Skygrasper, she was naturally worried, now that she knew more about the capabilities of each mobile suit. She understood the need for more pilots but there was that selfish wish to keep Tolle safe away from the direct line of fire. It was silly and unwarranted, since they were in a war and could die any time no matter where but at least if Tolle were on board Archangel, she felt more in control.
But fly he did and he actually wasn't doing too bad at it. Good enough to go out to battle. She was so proud of him but so afraid. But it felt nice to call out his name before he launched. There was this heady feeling of "Look, he's my boyfriend and he's out there protecting us and don't you think that's just so cool?"
Her world collapsed when he died. She heard the collective horrified gasp of the bridge crew when Tolle's unit was destroyed, could unconsciously feel the unspoken questions on whether she could continue being functional. She held on but just barely, her composure slipping by the moment. She wondered how long more the battle would last but in a twisted coincidence, Aegis blew up along with Strike and there was the end of it. The pilot of Buster Gundam decided to surrender and she finally got off the bridge.
By then, it was impossible to rein the tears in and she cried like never before. Now, she felt truly bereft. She coped well with the separation from her parents because Tolle was there with her to share the pain. But he was gone now and all the aspirations they had about living a life together after the war had gone up in smoke like him.
Sai walked her back to the infirmary and they passed the captured pilot of Buster. For somebody who was just recently imprisoned, he didn't appear too upset. Hate for him blazed through her veil of grief after hearing his uninvited comments. He represented all that she had come to resent in the war - Coordinator, Gundam pilot, murderer.
As she sat on the infirmary bed, trying desperately to collect herself, she heard the pilot continue talking. Anger bloomed in her, that this boy, this murderer could be blithely making conversation when he had no idea, no idea of all of the enormity of her loss. And when he made that remark about Tolle, something in her snapped.
There was no explanation for it. Why else would a mild-mannered girl transform into a raging would-be killer? And for those few moments of insanity, she truly wanted him dead. She was furious at the injustice of it all; that such a callous person could still be alive and making jokes at Tolle's expense when Tolle himself was dead. He had no right to live.
So she tried to stab him. She wasn't sucessful, thankfully but then Fllay had to come in and try to complete her botched job. Rational thought returned and she instinctly fought to shield him from Fllay's gun, moved by this instinctive feeling that no human being should die just because he was a Coordinator.
She will never forget that betrayed look in Fllay's eyes. True, she had attempted the exact same crime but their motivations were different. She wanted that blonde pilot dead because he was alive when Tolle was not, and not because of what he was. She would have done the same if he had been a Natural.
As things turned out, he didn't kill Tolle. Somehow, that relieved Millie, that the killer of her boyfriend was not on the same ship as her. His name was Dearka, she found that out later.
He annoyed her with his easy familiarity initially. She thought he was rather cheeky, going around using "omae" with her. Then he learnt her name and had wanted to go on a first name basis after that. Of course she said no! Tolle never did such things.
Maybe it was because he was an elite Gundam pilot or maybe it was some innate Coordinator trait but Dearka's intelligent violet eyes told you that he was aware of his superiority. Tolle, on the other hand, was always a little self-effacing. Dearka wasn't flashy but he exuded strength and self-assurance.
Even after being captured, Dearka had held himself proud, back straight and head high. He refused to apologise for being himself. It was amazing, the differences between Dearka and Tolle. And once she started, she just couldn't stop comparing the two of them. A voice inside her head whispered that it was wrong to do so, that she was being unfaithful to Tolle but Dearka was truly compelling.
There was no denying that Dearka was infinitely more attractive than Tolle. He was very striking to look at, what with his blonde hair and dark skin. His Coordinator genes and intense training required as a pilot had granted him an impressive physique despite his youth. He also seemd more jaded, less naive.
He was also funny. They both avoided bringing the matter up but Millie sensed an indirect attempt at apology. He was nicer, more polite and extremely gentlemanly during the first few weeks after the incident. It was flattering as it reminded her of Tolle's early days when he was still wooing her. Then, Dearka's real personality began to shine through and he began talking more in an attempt to persuade her to stay in the brig with him longer. He cracked jokes (many of them bad), discussed politics and talked about their lives in general.
Dearka was more forward too. Tolle seemed so innocent compared to Dearka. Tolle had waited a long time before he had dared to touch Millie. The first time he held her hand, his cheeks were a brilliant crimson, and he had this sheepish look on his face, as if he was afraid she would hit him. Dearka had no such inhibitions. Just barely within a few weeks of meeting her, he made his move.
It's not that she hadn't expected it. There were hints that Dearka was attracted to her as they got to know each other better, hints that she stubbornly refused to acknowledge and in fact, subtly tried to disourage. It just wasn't right, not so soon after Tolle.
It wasn't much and nothing was ever direct but some of his jokes grew more ribald and his conversations a lot more suggestive. Millie attempted to squash such behaviour but Dearka was remarkably persistent. Then one day, just after after she placed the food tray down in his cell, Dearka made an attempt to hold her hand. She had withdrawn immediately, shocked at the bold touch and hastily stood up to leave.
Dearka was faster, thanks to his being a Coordinator. In one fluid motion, he stood up, reached through the bars of the cell, grabbed her upper arm and pulled her gently but firmly back to him, recapturing one of her hands. He had whispered "Don't go," and Millie stood rooted to the spot; scandalised by his actions.
His hands felt different from Tolle's. Tolle's hands were smaller, almost the same as Millie's in fact, the skin softer, reflective of his prior occupation as a student. However, Millie's hands were easily lost in Dearka's strong grip. His hands were rough, callused. It bespoke of long hours of weapons training and physical activities.
Much to her amazement, he raised her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles, lips passing sensuously over her skin, staring deep into her eyes as he did so. His violet eyes were full of promise, of unspoken pleasures that she certainly never experienced with Tolle. They told her wordlessly that if given a chance, they could share much, much more together than just empty conversations and bad jokes.
Millie's long devotion to Tolle finally wavered then, as she battled barely suppressed feelings of attraction and simple plain lust, aroused by that simple touch. Reality came crashing down as she remembered Tolle and grief and guilt quickly dampened her desire. For a short-lived moment, anger flared, directed at Dearka for making her feel this way.
She had dropped his hands and ran away, unwilling to face up to the truth. Because for that fleeting moment, Millie had thought traitorously that maybe Tolle wasn't unrivaled after all. Perhaps, just perhaps, if given time, Dearka might be even more special than Tolle.
Epilogue
"You fought for us," Millie gripped the railing to the launching platform tightly, hands white. "Why?" Around them, mechanics rushed to begin repairs on the Gundams, Buster included.
Dearka walked closer to her, helmet tucked under his arm. He looked tired but happy. Millie stared hard at him. Something was different about Dearka now, he looked more peaceful, less restless. He stopped within a few steps of her, suddenly awkward. He scratched his head, feeling self-conscious.
"Actually, I'm not sure myself. But I can tell you that I don't believe in ZAFT's reasons for war anymore. There's no reason for me to fight for them. I don't want to be their pawn to be tossed around when they want. I'm done with that. I want to choose my own side now, you know?"
"I see," Millie turned to leave.
"Millie," Dearka called out to her.
She turned. "Yes?"
Dearka wasn't done yet. He closed the distance between them with a few swift steps and grasped her wrist. "I fought for you too," he whispered, staring intensely into her big green eyes.
She nodded, eyes brimming with sudden tears at the profound implication of his words. "I know. But I..." her voice cracked, unable to continue.
He wiped away her tears with a gentle hand and drew her even closer. This time, she allowed herself to be pulled into the warm circle of his arms, her head tucked under his chin. "It's OK. You don't have to say anything now. I'll wait."
Millie closed her eyes, shutting out the rest of the world and concentrated on feeling Dearka's arms around her. She gripped the front of his jumpsuit tight. "Aaa. Thank you."
Note: This is Millie's half of theme #16 (invincible; unrivaled). It's taken from a slightly different time period and perspective from Dearka's. It's slower-paced and more serious. Since well, he's a guy and things are always a bit more direct for them.
