|
Popcorn All Up In Here
|
Sep. 16th, 2008 @ 07:35 pm
|
|---|
|
Terrorvision - Slime, melting people, space monster, kid with a machine gun, Elvira-type chick with gigantic boobs and copious cleavage, plenty of cheesy comedy, a memorable theme song and a creepy but fun ending. Sure enough, two decades later, that is exactly what this movie has. This is the good bad stuff, people. The budget is noticeably low here. The opening shot shows some alien buildings that are obviously made out of little plastic models. So bad it is good really does describe this movie. Imagine if you will a signal that gets beamed to Earth. The signal brings to our planet a wonderfully ugly, angry monster that sucks people's fluids and leaves the rest of them as a slimy puddle. Death and mayhem ensue, complete with over the top acting, slimy violence (yet strangely, very little blood) and even swinging. Nothing like implied five way post-death sex. This is a stupid, fun, gross little B-movie that is fun for the whole, twisted, slimy family.
Slaughter High - There are three kinds of horror movies: Realistic horror-porn (Hostel, Saw), villain-driven horror (Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street) and cheese-ball horror comedy (Evil Dead, Terrorvision). This movie falls squarely in the third category. There are some moments of genuine scariness, but mostly, we have typical obnoxious teenagers (most of whom look like they are in their 20s) who torment the local nerd. When their tormenting results in him being horribly burned in a science lab, he, as expected, returns for revenge. This is a great 80s low budget horror movie, with plenty of blood, gore, bare breasts and low budget fun. The stand-out scene involves a naked woman dying in a bathtub. I am not sure what was preventing her from just getting out of the tub, but I guess it is the nature of dumb people to die in these movies. I really got a kick out of Slaughter High. Horror fans should too.
Pumpkinhead - Some horror become pop icons because they are so memorable. Some become more interesting than any of the protagonists. Freddy, Jason, Darth Vader, Pinhead... all fine bad guys. Pumpkinhead... not so much. This movie just did not have much going on. I did not expect that much and got even less. A guy's kid gets killed, he hires a medicine woman to bring him back which also unleashes a demon. The demon is kind of lame looking, and while he does kill people, he just was not that scary. I might check out the sequels just for the hell of it, but this movie was drab and boring.
The Wicker Man - I already knew the ending of this 70's classic, but I still had a good time watching it. A policeman is investigating a disappearance in a small European town, located on an island. As he snoops around, he gradually uncovers some rather sinister happenings. This movie is kind of a slow burn, but the tension building is all the more effective because of it. Some people may find this a little dull, but I liked the pacing. There are awkward moments, like anytime people are singing. Those parts seemed like some kind of throwback to the hippies of the 60s. On the other hand, there is a fair amount of female nudity, which is always nice.
The Omega Man - If you saw the recent I Am Legend, then you know the basic plot of this Charleton Heston original. Heston plays the last man on Earth. However, it seems he is not alone. This movie suffered from the same awkward editing and odd pacing that seem to be a staple of most of Heston's movies. Still, it was an interesting watch. It's one of those "possible future" scenarios. The problem was that despite having some good concepts, the movie felt stilted and wooden. I think back in the day, this was a cool movie, but it just looks lame by today's standards. I know people think of Heston as a great actor, but I find him to be kind of annoying. He needed to keep his shirt on. I would say this movie is worth checking out just to be reminded that a lot of the movies we watch today are just remakes.
Soylent Green - This movie was very similar to The Omega Man. It stared Charleton Heston, it featured a possible future scenario, there was a twist ending and the acting and action was awkward. The whole thing felt a little off. What is it about these 70s movies and the action? The fighting just never seems real. Maybe it's just better special effects and the use of digital editing that makes modern movies seem better when it comes to action. Only watch this movie if you have an interest in exploring classic movies. I was bored by this movie. I think I am going to stop watching Heston movies.
Dirty Work - For many years I had heard Artie Lang and Norm Macdonald talk about Dirty Work on The Howard Stern Show. I finally got around to watching this mid-90's comedy and it was surprisingly enjoyable. I found the movie to be about 50% funny, but the funny stuff was hysterical. The rest of the time they're still being silly, just not laugh out loud funny. The acting is pretty mediocre, but as goofy as this movie is, it's almost expected. There are some solid gut-busting parts, like Norm's post-rape monologue, dead hookers in trunks and basically anything Chris Farley does. Watch for an Adam Sandler cameo too.
The Last Detail - Jack Nicholson, Otis Young and Randy Quaid play three military men. Quaid's character has been charged with theft and is being sent to prison for 6 to 8 years. The other two men are there to escort him to the hoosegow. Along the way the characters interact in all sorts of interesting ways. All three of them go through growth and change. They face challenges. Not the car chase type of challenge or dodging bullets in slow motion. No, these are emotional challenges. This is a movie about people and it is great. The caliber of the acting alone makes it worth watching. |
|
Ten Most Overrated Movies by some fucking guy
|
Aug. 29th, 2008 @ 04:53 pm
|
|---|
|
I was listening to The Mike O'Meara Show today and they were discussing a list their news guy found about the top ten overrated movies of modern cinema. I'd like to share the list with you and offer up my thoughts, because I have a degree in Media Arts and Animation. There, I am an expert because a piece of paper says so. So there.
For the original list, go here.
10 - Training Day - This is a superb movie that works on the idea that good and evil is not so cut and dry. Most of the movie sits in a strange grey area of morality. I don't think this movie was overrated, although I will admit that the ending was not quite as good as the rest of the movie. A tale of shady morality descends into a pretty cut and dry good and evil ending. Slightly overrated, but only for the ending.
9 - Reservoir Dogs - No way. This movie kicked lots of ass, while bringing us a classic "down ending" of movies. It took the glamorous gangster idea and threw a bunch of blood and spit at it. While Pulp Fiction is generally regarded as the better of the two films, few people would argue that idea, so this movie remains fairly regarded.
8 - Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home - For a movie to be overrated, it first has to be... well, rated. Last time I checked, no one was calling this time-traveling, save the whales cheesefest a great movie. I really enjoy the movie for what it is, but no one out there is saying it is anywhere close to the brilliance of Wrath of Khan or even the underrated The Undiscovered Country. Everyone knows this movie is cheesy, and most people are ok with that.
7 - The Others - I'll give this one a pass. The movie was good, but not great. The whole twist ending was fun, but seemed like a rip-off of The Sixth Sense. Worth a look, but yes, overrated.
6 - Scarface - In one fell swoop, this list loses most of its credibility. The writer of the article complains about the lack of intelligent dialog, for example. To that guy I can only say, read this slowly so you can understand it. Tony Montana is a dumb thug that makes it big in the drug business. He has street smarts, yes, but this is basically an uneducated ignoramus. Why would anyone expect smart dialog from him? To his credit, he does tackle some moral issues throughout the movie in his own garish manner. However, this is not an overrated movie. This movie is awesome and well deserving of it's acclaim.
5 - Shakespeare in Love - I never saw this movie, but it beat out The Big Lebowski for an award, so screw this movie. Not only is it overrated, but it's just terrible. If ever rent this and I enjoy it, I will still trash it just out of respect for Jeffrey, Donny and Walter.
4 - Chicago - Another one I never saw, but I saw the commercials and they looked pretty shitty. If you don't think you can judge a movie on the commercials, just check out The Love Guru. Chicago beat out The Two Towers and Gangs of New York how? Maybe this list is just another reminder of why award shows are crap.
3 - Titanic - Here's a possible surprise for you... this movie was not overrated. It was pushed as a love story surround by cutting edge special effects and that is what it was. I was hesitant about this movie, but when I finally watched it, I liked it. I cried a little at the end, when fat ass (but still hot) Kate Winslet would not move her big ass over two feet. Even that famous Celine Dion song, "My Heart Will Go On", made me tear up at the credits, because even though I don't care for the song, it worked very well in the context of the movie.
2 - Clerks - This classic, low-budget comedy is still the best thing Kevin Smith has ever given us. The raunchy antics are peppered with moments of thoughtfulness and wisdom. To dismiss this movie because it was vulgar is to miss the point. This movie will remain a classic for generations to come.
1 - Apocalypse Now - I almost hate to say it, but I did not like this movie. It was interesting, but by the end, it simply sputtered out. I appreciate what they were trying to do, but it just never stood up to better Vietnam movies, like Full Metal Jacket or Platoon. Even Marlon Brando's character, built up over the course of the movie to be this imposing, dreadful figure, turns out to be underwhelming and dull. This one I agree with. To its credit, I really enjoyed Robert Duvall and Harrison Ford in this one. |
|
Duty
|
Aug. 19th, 2008 @ 07:31 pm
|
|---|
|
Rob Gladly Pays Money for...
|
Aug. 8th, 2008 @ 05:17 pm
|
|---|
|
Be Kind Rewind - What happens when a dumb, fat guy accidentally erases a store full of VHS tapes? Why remake them, of course. Jack Black and Mos Def team up as best friends that are tasked with remaking a bunch of classic movies on VHS. I really enjoyed the first two thirds of this movie, when the guys were making movies. They spent the most time with their version of Ghostbusters, but I also enjoyed their version of Driving Miss Daisy, Rush Hour 2 and Boyz n the Hood. The extremely cute Melonie Diaz helps the guys out mainly so that the guys didn't have to use other guys in female kissing roles. Unfortunately, the funny falls apart about halfway through the movie, when the guys are tasked with saving the video store from demolition. They could have just spent the entire movie doing remakes, but they decided to pull some sentimental crap. This is a good movie, just don't expect much out of the second half if you are looking for laughs.
Night of the Creeps - After suffering the travesty that was Spookies!, it was nice to sit back and take in a classic 80's horror movie that has been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. This is the way it's done, folks! No lame CGI here, no horror porn, like Hostel or Saw. This is cheeseball 80's horror. Back when CGI was not an option for B-level horror, these guys had to rely on rubber masks, stop-motion animation and good old fashioned gore. Throw in some one-liners, some nerdy, likable main characters and a few boob shots, and you have Night of the Creeps. Not enough? What about alien slugs that turn people into head-exploding zombies? Yeah, that's right. It is as awesome as it sounds. Even though some of the special effects don't hold up too well, this movie is just too much fun to pass up. |
|
Rob Throws Popcorn at...
|
Aug. 8th, 2008 @ 05:16 pm
|
|---|
|
Dirty Mary Crazy Larry - Peter Fonda and Susan George star in this 1974 Bonnie and Clyde" style movie about two lovers who love robbing and stealing. I got about halfway through this movie before I turned it off out of sheer boredom. It seemed like a good enough movie, but I just found myself not caring. The acting was all over the place with each character having good and bad scenes. The editing was awkward. It seemed like the sort of movie my stepdad might enjoy, but it just didn't do it for me.
The Wedding Planner - I will give this movie credit for almost being good, but falling short. The under rated Jennifer Lopez stars as a wedding planner who finds her normal organized existence shattered when she falls for a doctor, played to the extremes of badness by the always terrible Matthew McConaughey. This doctor ends up being someone else's groom, so you can imagine the drama that would cause. The problem with this movie is not the plot, but how it pans out. Had they handled this whole thing in a realistic, adult manner, it might have been good. Instead the movie can't help but plummet into fairy tale land. When McConaughey's character says, "I barely know you... but I do know the curves of your face" I yelled at the TV, "Yeah, that's a great reason to marry someone, you ass!" If people are really acting this way, no wonder divorce happens as often as it does. It's not that I need romantic comedies to be realistic, but at 31 years old, I only ask that these movies stop treating me like an idiot. After the movie was over, I told my wife, "Honey, you never told me this movie was terrible." She claims she said I wouldn't like it. I should have probably listened to her. |
| » Rob Throws Popcorn at... |
|---|
Spookies! - This little oddball movie from way back in the day that got lumped in with a bunch of other downloads. About 90 minutes after hitting Play, I was very disappointed. I spent the whole movie waiting for the good stuff. I thought that maybe this low-budget, quasi-parody horror movie would deliver the goods. Blood, guts, heads flying off, humor, naked women, sex... the usual stuff that can make a bad horror movie fun. Sadly, that rarely happened. The gore was tame and very limited, the humor was only funny when they weren't trying and there was nary a nipple to be found. The boob thing is doubly disappointing, as they had the one woman in the blue dress with her big cans flopping around. Sadly, they never made an appearance, even after her boyfriend tried to climb the mountain. The voice of the main villain was so terrible, it reminded me of the time I tried to get a Darth Vader sound to my voice using a Pringles can. Do not attempt to watch this movie, thinking there is some kind of hidden gem of fun in there. Just go slam your face into a stainless steal sink. There is far more horror and comedy to be had there.
Aug. 8th, 2008 @ 05:15 pm
|
| » George Carlin |
|---|
While it is no longer breaking news, I feel the need to discuss the recent death of the great George Carlin. Sure, most people you talk to like him, but did you see him live a couple of years ago at the Stardust in Las Vegas? Did you buy about 8 of his CDs? Did you buy any of his books? Did your mom give you the Carlin desktop calendar one year for Christmas? Do you have serious plans to drop 180 dollars on the George Carlin's Stuff DVD collection?
Yeah... I didn't think so.
Not only does all of that shit pertain to me, but it goes beyond just being a fan. This became real love many years ago. It might have been about the time he put religion and golf into perspective. Oddly enough, they both ended up seeming quite ridiculous (although you are more likely to see me swinging a putter than bowing my head).
The man who originally came across as a foul-mouthed angry person suddenly transformed into a genius. It was his intelligence and cleverness more than his comedy that really defined his career. Even early on he had an amazing command of the English language. What really stood out was his ability to hone in on ways people raped and abused the language.
Beyond just language, he was adept at pointing out types of people in society that he could do without. Somewhere between that and the abuse of the English language, there was a good chance he would touch on something that was wrong with you. I remember him rattling off his list of people he could do without and saying, "Yeah, I've charged small items at the gas station before!" Although I never bought Vagasil with an Exxon credit card.
Some people complained that as Carlin aged, he relied more on anger and annoyance than cleverness. Frankly, I like it. As people get older, they generally come in contact with more people. With the vast majority of people in the world being stupid, it is basically guaranteed that most of the people you will meet will be stupid, and for a smart guy like Carlin, that will make for one cranky old man.
Hell, I am 30 years old and I already feel old and cranky just from hanging around people. Sooner or later, pretty much everyone you know will let you down. That's just life. Just listening to the tales of single guys my age, like my brother Justin and my roomie Greg, going on dates, I feel a great deal of sympathy. As my brother put it, it's fun at first, but sooner or later they do something stupid that makes you think, "Wow, you really think that way?" or "You cannot be this dumb."
Carlin's grouchiness in his old age was well earned. Even up to the end, he would criticize politicians that would say that people are smarter than they are given credit for. No, they're actually a lot dumber than people might think.
As comedians and entertainers go, Carlin was one of the bravest ones out there. He never cared if he offended people, because he was always honest. Being offended is a choice, and to the people who chose to be offended, well fuck them. That is the one trait about him I admire most... the one thing that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I can only hope to be brave enough to speak my mind the way he does, but only if I have something smart to say.
He was an original. There will never be another like him. I know that others have done tributes to him and write ups about him. Why should I even bother? Because the same week he died, I was talking with Pat about him and I actually got choked up a little. I never knew the guy, I was not his friend, but it occurred to me at that moment that he really had affected me. I rarely care when celebrities die, but this one made me feel sad.
I remember when my buddy Gabe first exposed me to his material. We sat in a room at Ocean City, Maryland, laughing our sick fucking asses off. My parents and I would sit and watch his stand-up. Even two years ago when Pat and I saw him live, it was as much a bonding experience as entertainment. Pat had never seen his comedy, and her comment after the show was, "He always had a point." Really, can it be said any simpler than that? Carlin did not always get a laugh, but he always had a point.
George Carlin, dead at age 71. If there is one thing that he said, one quote that we can remember him by, one last bit of wisdom that he would share with everyone, it is this:
"Fuck you, Tiger Woods!"
Brilliant!
Aug. 8th, 2008 @ 05:10 pm
|
| » Movie Reviews - Exploding Torsos and Charming Robots |
|---|
WALL-E - Pixar has done it again. While they occasionally fumble the animation ball (Cars was kind of lame), these guys are geniuses of 3D animation. It isn't just the animation though, it's the story, the characters, the underlying themes... everything about WALL-E comes together to make a very good movie. This may be their best one yet, even topping the untoppable Toy Story. The robots in this movie have more personality than most human characters you will find in many modern movies. There are plenty of themes and jokes aimed at adults to keep them entertained, while the whimsical characters and beautiful settings will keep kids and adults glued to the screen. Dare I call this movie... brilliant? Oh yes, I dare. Go see this one in the theaters. It's well worth 10 dollars.
Rambo - The Rambo series is famous for its over the top, sometimes cartoony violence. However, under all the action, the character of Rambo always had heart. He is a tragic figure, alone after the war, just looking for some kind of purpose in life. As I have grown older, it is this aspect of the character that I have really come to appreciate. Still, that part of Rambo is more of a side item. The real main course is the action... and Rambo delivers more than any of the other movies in the series. This movie is filled with extreme violence. This is the sort of movie that had us screaming "Oh god!" and "Woah!" the entire time we watched it. People don't just get shot and fall down. No, they get shot and explode into pieces. The only time it's actually disturbing though is when it happens to the good guys. When the bad guys get their due, we just could not help but cheer. The storyline continues the series nicely, with some flashbacks from previous movies to bridge the gap. It is time for John Rambo to come to terms with who and what he is, and it is pulled off quite well. I had a hell of a good time watching this movie and I own the DVD so I am looking forward to watching it again. I have heard that Stallone is writing another Rambo movie. If it's anything like this one, bring it on Sly.
Jun. 29th, 2008 @ 11:06 am
|
| » Movie Reviews - Some, Minimal and Lots |
|---|
There Will Be Blood - A more accurate title for this movie would be There's Not Much Blood. Okay, that's a joke. Actually, this movie is pretty damn great. It's the story of an oil man and his life of building an empire on a foundation of black gold. Daniel Day-Lewis has always been a very good character actor, and this movie is no exception. His character, Daniel Plainview, is one of the most memorable characters of recent years. Watching how he grows, changes and deals with all the things that come with being a successful oil man is just a pleasure. Paul Dano also brings some great acting to the screen, but no one can over shadow the enigmatic Mr. Plainview. What I really liked about this movie was how the main characters slowly revealed themselves throughout the movie. Hunches became realities and expectations were turned sideways. The main reason to see this movie is just to watch Daniel Day-Lewis act. It's a pretty mesmerizing performance. Put this one on my buy list.
No Country For Old Men - The Coen Brothers are famous for a number of good movies, such as The Hudsucker Proxy, Fargo and, one of my favorites, The Big Lebowski. It comes as little surprise that these two managed to bring us a movie filled with violence, memorable characters, great dialog and an ending that leaves most people shrugging their shoulders. When a fellow named Llewelyn Moss (don't tell him his name sound feminine) stumbles upon a big case of money, he gets the attention of a number of people, including a hired gun named Anton Chigurh and a local sheriff named Ed Tom Bell. What follows is a tense, deliberately paced comedy/drama/thriller that kept my wide-eyed until the very end. It's one of those odd movies that keeps people talking about long after the turn off the DVD player. The dialog was often clever and revealing, and yet still subtle. There a number of angles to it, some of which I am still not sure about. The ending was so bizarre and symbolic that I want to buy this one just to figure it all out. It is a thinking movie, to be sure. What really struck me was that I thought the antagonist would be the most memorable character, but it was Tommy Lee Jones' sheriff character that kept me most entertained. The Coen Brothers know how to make great, unique movies. I cannot wait to buy this one.
Shoot 'Em Up - If you take every action movie cliche, mix them with some new ideas, throw in a few thousand extra bullets and a pinch of sex, you get Shoot 'Em Up, a very fun, mostly brainless action movie. The dialog is cheesy and awkward, the action is extremely over the top, the characters are sometimes simple, sometimes amalgams of other characters, but it all adds up to a highly entertaining movie. Clive Owen gives us a character similar to one he played in Sin City, Paul Giamatti plays a fairly standard bad guy and Monica Bellucci... well she just cannot help being one of the sexiest women alive. There is actually a sex scene between the two main characters that ends up being pretty intense, although not necessarily for the reasons we might expect. I can tell you that watching Bellucci and Owen roll around on the bed made Greg say, "We need to become actors." If that means rolling around with Monica Bellucci's huge boobs pressed against me, then sure, sounds like a good reason to me. Anyway, grab the popcorn and beer, turn off your higher brain functions and enjoy.
Jun. 16th, 2008 @ 03:50 pm
|
| » Rob Throws Popcorn at... |
|---|
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - I couldn't really tell you the plot of the first Narnia movie, as it was just not that compelling, so the sequel felt equally forgettable. I recall sitting in the theater wondering how much fun the Iron Man audience was having. This movie tells the story of a young prince in the land of Narnia who faces exile and death, so he calls upon the four characters from the first movie. I guess they're kings in young bodies? I don't know for sure. The first movie is a blur. This second installment manages to rip-off the Lord of the Rings trilogy as much as possible. I would not have cared had this been some no-name writer, but didn't C.S. Lewis write the Narnia books? Isn't he supposed to be good? Well, this movie was way too derivative to be worth seeing in the theater. The whole time I was watching it, I kept thinking how great it would have been if I had just stayed home and watched The Lord of the Rings DVDs.
There were really only two things that made this movie bearable. First, Eddie Izzard plays a talking, sword-wielding mouse that kills people. Yep. I like basically anything Eddie does, as he is just a naturally funny guy. However, his character did feel a bit too cartoony at times, almost making the movie feel like Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Second, we have Anna Popplewell. The opening scene featured her in a white button down shirt that could not hide her sizable bosom, nor could I not avoid her wonderfully full lips. Later when she changed into her Narnia corset outfit, well... let's just say she kept my eyes open. I suppose Anna could serve to help unlucky fathers to suffer through the movie with their kids. So it's got that going for it.
Sadly, aside from a funny talking mouse and some Popplewell curves, there just was not much to Prince Caspian. The more I think about this movie, the more I just don't like it.
May. 30th, 2008 @ 03:54 pm
|
| » Movie Rentals |
|---|
Alien Vs Predator: Requiem - The first AVP movie was kind of a mixed bag and received equally mixed reviews. My brother and I saw the first AVP in the theater and really enjoyed it, but I did feel like the story was a little disconnected. Plus, it just wasn't violent enough.
AVPR fixes much of what was wrong with the first movie, even if it is a bit of a retread of the older movies. The movie is set in a modern American city, similar to Predator 2. Soldiers with troop transports and guns come to the rescue, like Aliens. Someone says "What the hell are you?" and someone else says "Get to the chopper!" like Arnold did in Predator. You see my point.
Still, it works. This is a bloody, violent movie that had us crying out, "Woah!" a few times as humans and creatures get killed in a variety of nasty ways. Having it set in a regular town on Earth added to the tension. These creatures do some pretty nasty things to people, sparing no one, not even children or main characters.
The story line, while pieced together from the other movies, is good and moves things along well. The inevitable sequel could benefit from a government angle. That is, maybe moving the story into X-Files territory, with government agents getting involved. They can do great things with this series if they really want to.
Wedding Daze - This movie was a Pat Pick, but it was well chosen, as it turned out to be pretty funny. The characters are all over the top, but so is the premise. It's the story of a guy that decides to get propose marriage to a woman he just met. In a crazy twist, she says yes. Cue the wackiness. Now these two have to work out all the early parts of a relationship in record time. Meanwhile, the friends, family and local law enforcement provide plenty of laughs on the side. The humor is of an adult variety, although not quite the gross-out humor of, say, American Pie or There's Something About Mary. Nor is the movie as memorable or funny as those, but it's still a good rental.
The Wedding Date - Another Pat Pick, this one was a bit more on the drama side, but there is enough comedy to bring about at least a few chuckles. Debra Messing plays a down in the dumps woman who hires a male escort to be her date to her sister's wedding. The idea is to show up her ex, who will be there, but the whole thing, of course, blows up in her face. It's a syrupy little movie that will probably make most guys gag. I found it to be a mediocre romantic comedy with occasional moments of wisdom.
The Golden Compass - Yet another Pat Pick, this CGI laden fantasy movie involves humans and their familiars, known as Daemons, a really large polar bear with armor and plenty of great visuals. This turned out to be a pretty fun little adventure movie. It was a bit on the intense side for a kid movie. The story revolves around a young girl who travels to a parallel universe to save kidnapped children. She gets some help from the aforementioned polar bear and, of course, from a compass. This movie had a fairly sizable cast of well know actors and the acting was pretty good. I enjoyed this movie mainly for the special effects. A fine rental.
May. 19th, 2008 @ 06:44 pm
|
| » More Movies |
|---|
Sweeney Todd - Aside from the occasional missteps, Johnny Depp is generally a great actor, as he is in this bloody musical. Tim Burton does his standard dark, twisted take on things, and it works, because I rarely like musicals. I liked this one very much. The blood flowed like water... red water... with blood in it. Even Sacha Baron Cohen shows up! Good stuff. Oh, and Helena Bonham Carter really pushes those boobs of hers up and out. So extra points for that. Keep it up, Helena!
Cape Fear - What can I say... it's DeNiro as a crazy guy. If you have not seen this movie, do so. There are a number of famous scenes here, some of which can be seen mimicked in The Simpsons.The story follows a man who is released from prison and goes after the lawyer that defended him. The cool part about DeNiro's character is that you know he is up to no good, but he plays it so cool most of the time. Any third party that might see the various encounters might think that the lawyer was the one harassing the ex-convict. The performances from the entire cast are dynamite. My only nitpicks are minor ones. Jessica Lange's acting is a tad over the top at times, and occasionally the camera work seems awkward. DeNiro also goes over the top, but that ends up making sense for his character. It does have the familiar Scorsese feel, especially being fresh off of Goodfellas. I did notice that his direction has improved over the years, especially when you look at well crafted movies like The Departed and Gangs of New York. Cape Fear is one of those memorable movies that will entertain for generations to come.
Apr. 29th, 2008 @ 09:12 pm
|
| » Movie Reviews - Gore, Geisha and Goofy |
|---|
Saw IV - I was an immediate fan of the Saw series when the first movie made my wife cringe in the theater. I also liked how the killings tended to have a point. The villain was not just killing for his own amusement. That idea continues on with the fourth installment, which ends up having the deepest story out of all the movies so far. I was actually on the edge of my seat at times, as I watched the story line slow unfold. We finally get some serious background on this Jigsaw fellow, which is nice to see. In fact, once they get into his motives for what he does, I could not help but agree with him, at least on his underlying concepts. The killings in this movie are gruesome and entertaining, although they never did feel as painful as the other movies. There were more quick kills in this one and less that involved torture. Like the others, this one left itself wide open for a sequel, although the timeline of the story is starting to get a little confusing.These movies are best watched back to back for maximum understanding.
Memoirs of a Geisha - I am surprised I did not see this one sooner, being of fan of the "AZN" (they serve the CFR... chicken fried rice). I only knew the
stereotypes surrounding the geisha, so I would call this an educational film. It was also a pretty entertaining drama about the life of a geisha, from childhood to adulthood. Many people, even the Japanese, have misconceptions about what a geisha really does, and this film illustrates that. In fact, this movie prompted me to research them a little and it was all quite interesting.
Johnny Mnemonic - I do not expect much from Keanu Reeves (they can't all be
as good as The Devil's Advocate), but a pre-Matrix Reeves reminds us that
bad acting and good concepts can entertain, even if most of the
entertainment comes from co-stars. Henry Rollins really helps make this
movie watchable. In fact, his character talks about the very concepts that
save this movie from total craphood. This movie was not as bad I had heard
it was, but by the time it was over, I feel like I would have been better
served by just throwing in the Matrix trilogy. This little sci-fi oddball
movie about using the human brain to transport digital files has some good
ideas behind it, but just felt poorly done, with lame special effects and
action sequences that looked fake.
Hostel Part II - The original Hostel left quite an impression on me with its
disturbing images, so I was happy to check out the sequel. This one picks
right up where the first one left off and hits the ground running. It slows
down towards the middle as we follow three young girls on their foolish
adventure through Europe. Sure enough, violence finds them. However, I found the violence to be far less disturbing than the first movie (aside from the
castration, which is always bad). Maybe I am getting desensitized, or maybe
the deaths just weren't as gruesome this time around. I especially enjoyed
seeing Heather Matarazzo nude, although I am probably in the minority on
that. Hostel Part II was a fun movie that never quite lived up to the
original. It is well worth checking out just to see how things wrap up.
Enchanted - If you are thinking "Pat picked that one" you are 100% correct. Someone got the bright idea to take cartoon characters and bring them into
the real world as real people. The concept is clever enough to make for a
fun movie, even if it is still as shallow and happy as every other Disney
movie. There are plenty of funny moments, especially when the valiant prince
comes to New York and people just think his overzealousness is part of a
street performance. You won't find the quite wit of Toy Story here, but this
is a fun family movie that even has enough subtle innuendo to keep the
adults entertained.
Apr. 28th, 2008 @ 06:20 pm
|
| » The Forbidden Kingdom |
|---|
Take some great kung fu action sequences, mix it up with an abbreviated Lord of the Rings style quest, a dash of Karate Kid and a nice big spoonful of funny and you get a very fun martial arts fantasy movie. We saw this one in the theater today with my wife (it is rare that she wants to see any movie in the theater). Jackie Chan and Jet Li come together for a highly entertaining two hours. The story is simple enough, and has been done before. Michael Angarano plays the typical young guy who can't seem to catch a break (think Daniel from Karate Kid but with a little less charisma). Eventually he finds himself in over his head and... well you can fill in the rest. Yifei Liu plays the adorable Golden Sparrow. She does not sit on the sidelines though, Elisabeth Shue style. No, she whips ass when needed, which is often. This movie, while a bit on the predictable side, was a solid fun time at the movies.
Apr. 19th, 2008 @ 10:16 pm
|
| » Rob Reads for Yee |
|---|
Star Wars - Cloak of Deception - With the Star Wars movies basically over (the new animated movie being an unexpected exception) I decided to go back to the beginning and read every damn Star Wars novel I can get my hands on. Cloak of Deception basically kicks off the storyline that we know from the movies. We see the early days of the Republic just before The Phantom Menace, with various political figures maneuvering and being manipulated as shadowy figures conspire to gain power. This book was very political and sometimes plodding, but there was enough action and dramatic story arcs to keep things interesting. The story can be a hard sell for some, much like Episode 1-3 was, because frankly some people just don't care about the political side of Star Wars. They just want ship battles and light saber duels. I tend to agree. At times I felt like I was reading this book because I had to for the sake of the overall Star Wars story. It was a fun read, but so far it was the dullest book in the series that I have read.
Star Wars - Darth Maul: Shadow Hunter - After the less than exciting previous book, I was expecting this tale of the dark lord's apprentice to be quite exiting, and it was. For anyone who thought Darth Maul's time in the movies was too short (they should have kept him instead of giving us Count Dooku), this is a must-read. Some of Maul's background is revealed, and yet he is still a very mysterious figure. The point of the book is, of course, Darth Maul kicking ass. He lays the smack down all up and down Lucas Street. It's a great book, but it also reminds me just how much better the prequel could have been with more Maul and less Dooku.
Look at my Striped Shirt! Confessions of the People you Love to Hate - The title pretty much says it all. This is a collection of short essays pertaining to people we hate. The guy that thinks the whole world is his cell phone booth. The various bad girlfriends. Uber sports fans with nothing else in their lives. Teachers that try to be cool. The guy who thinks he has great taste in music. The guy who puts on his striped shirt and goes out expecting to get laid. The guy who thinks the hot female bartender likes him even though its her job to flirt to get tips. Even with all the people they mention in this often funny book, there are still so many more assholes they left out. Maybe I should start writing the sequel. I will be sure to include guys who wear really tight pants, guys that never get hair cuts or use a comb, guys that attempt to drive really fast in slow, busy traffic and people who walk around the office wearing headphones. Now that I think of it, I may just have found my new journal feature: Rob Hates On. Look for that soon!
Mar. 11th, 2008 @ 08:34 pm
|
| » Movie Reviews - Old, New and a little Gay |
|---|
Naked Lunch - With the recent death of Roy Scheider, I thought it would be
fun to catch up on his work. I may check out Robert Shaw movies next. This
little oddball movie had my mouth agape from start to finish. I kept shaking
my head, asking out loud, "What the hell?" I asked this question many times.
The longer I watched it, the more it made me feel uncomfortable, because I
just wasn't totally sure what I was watching. This is not the sort of
standard American movie that just hands you a plot line and lets you turn
off your brain for the duration. No, this one forces you to pay attention.
Even after it was all over, I still was at a loss for an explanation. I did
check out IMDB to find out what the movie is actually about, and my
suggestion is to just watch this one blind. The underlying plot is good, but
just watching it without knowing anything about makes it just a little more
fun. Well worth a rental if you enjoy bizarre, surreal movies.
Rescue Dawn - Christian Bale plays a pilot that gets shot down in Laos
during the Vietnam war. A fairly standard war story ends up being mostly
entertaining, if a bit predictable at times. Bale's portrayal of a crazy
pilot seemed a little overwrought, but for the most part it made sense. I
enjoyed this movie, even if it did seem a little by the numbers at times.
Beaches - For years my father has watched this movie. I recall hearing it
from the other room while I was busy playing my NES or SNES, back in the
day. The singing, the over acting of Bette Midler, more singing... The
soundtrack alone really stuck in my head. Still, I had never sat through the
movie until now. Seeing how I get a lot of my sensibilities from my dad, I
had a feeling I would enjoy it in that "guilty pleasure" kind of way, and I
was right. Beaches is the story of two women who are long-time childhood
friends that somehow maintain a friendship over many years, long before the
internet came along. Along the way, both characters face hardships,
challenges and unexpected twists that keep life as interesting as it is
hectic. The main reason I enjoyed this movie was because it reminded me of
some of the friendships I have now. The sort of friends where we can not see
each other for years and yet still pick up where we left off at anytime.
It's a rare thing to find and surely something that should be cherished.
Even though there was singing in this movie, it worked within the context of
the story, and rarely annoyed me. The only flaw I could find was that Bette
Midler was a little too melodramatic at times. All in all, this was a syrupy
sweet, sappy good time.
Mar. 4th, 2008 @ 08:41 pm
|
| » Three years late, but still a good romp |
|---|
Halo 2 for PC - Ah Halo, you odd little thing. I recall playing Halo 1 way
back in college on an Xbox and finding it fun but not as good as other
shooters of that time, such as Half Life and Jedi Knight. I did buy, play
and beat Halo 1 on my PC and thought it was a very fun game, even if it
still did not compare to the previously mentioned shooters. I like how the
Halo games force you to carry two guns at once, as I always wondered where
Duke Nukem, Gordon Freeman and The Doom Guy carried all those guns. Large
backpack? Magical Bag of Holding? Anus? So, good job for making the two gun
dynamic work, Halo guys.
Halo 2 maintains the exact same play style as the first game. The graphics
are slightly better, but they just do not compare to the games that came out
when Halo 2 first hit the Xbox. Even back then, three years ago, Half Life 2
and Doom 3 looked better. The fact that Halo 2 for the PC has not really had
much of a graphics overhaul does not bode well for the visuals. The game
just looks old. Had they given it to us PC folks about the same time that
the Xbox version hit, the graphics would not have seemed so dated.
Still, graphics are not everything. So what about the other stuff, like
story and game play? The story is good, as it picks up right after the end
of the first game. I like that. It's certainly less jarring than Half Life
2's "a few years later" gap in the story, although overall Half Life has the
deeper tale to tell. Halo is more like an action sci-fi movie in terms of
story. All the familiar characters are back and the bad guys are still
stirring up crap. What is different is that part way through the story, the
main character shifts from Master Chief to one of the bad guys and you get
to guide him through another side of the story. While playing him, you gain
access to a couple of new abilities and weapons.
In terms of game play, its the same as the first game. Having only two
weapons at once is a pretty cool idea, because It forces you to plan ahead
in terms of combat strategy. Many times I found myself changing my tactics
on the fly, sometimes because my weapons simply ran out of ammo. It adds a
level of thought to a game style that is typically mindless run and gun.
I liked how switching from on-foot to vehicle was a seamless process in
terms of controls. I never felt like I had no idea how to pilot or drive
something, unlike some other games, such as the Battlefield series. (I still
cannot fly anything in those games.)
The biggest problem with Halo 2 for the PC is that it is a Vista only game.
Not an issue for me. I use and love Vista. If you are a PC gamer, you owe
it to yourself to get Vista, although this game is probably not the best
case for that. Considering this is not even a DirectX10 game, there really
is little reason to keep it from XP users. I would not call this game a
reason to get Vista, but if you have Vista, it's well worth a look.
This is certainly not the best PC shooter out there, but the game play is
quite enjoyable and the story kept me entertained, even if the graphics are
pretty dated. If you are like me and just hate the idea of playing a shooter
with a gamepad but still want to see what all the fuss is about over Halo,
check this one out. If we are lucky, we won't have to wait another three
years for Halo 3.
Feb. 28th, 2008 @ 07:24 pm
|
| » Movie Reviews |
|---|
Dead and Buried - I remember seeing this movie in the video store as a kid,
years ago when VHS was the norm and DVD had not been born. None of the main
characters (or director for that matter) are people I recognize, but Robert
England plays a side character and Stan Winston does the special effects.
The story takes place in a small town where strange occurrences are taking
place and the local sheriff is having trouble piecing things together.
Things spiral into the strange and grotesque as the story progresses. This
is fantastic horror film in that its that great 1980s horror, where the
special effects were done well and not via CGI (which is typically crap when
it comes to gore). Stan Winston is famous for doing special effects for the
Alien and Predator movies, among others. Any horror fan should check this
movie out. I should note that at times the pacing is jarring and unstable,
plus some of the acting is a cheesy at times. There is still plenty of great
gore and tension in this one. Modern horror movie makers should strive for
this kind of quality.
The Nanny Diaries - One might guess that this movie was picked out by my
wife, and one would be correct in said guess. Luckily, this movie turned out
to be far better than I expected. I was expecting a fairly lame, predictable
kids movie. What I got was a predictable, but entertaining adult oriented
movie about the challenges of balancing one's life. Even though one of the
main characters was a kid, this movie rarely dipped into Disney territory
where things felt dumbed down and cartoony. Most of the time, we see adults
dealing with fairly common adult problems. The main character is a college
student who takes a job as a nanny to make ends meet. She finds herself
trying to juggle her job, which involves taking care of a bratty kid and
dealing with the child's cold, distant parents, while still trying to find
time for relationships and school. I think anyone who has tried to juggle a
hectic life filled with school, work, kids, relationships or whatever else
will appreciate this movie. I liked how they did not use the main actresses'
sex appeal that much and instead left her as just a normal woman trying to
make things work. It even manages to be funny from time to time.
Feb. 28th, 2008 @ 07:23 pm
|
| » Movie Reviews |
|---|
War - Jet Li vs Jason Statham. Really, do you need any other reason to see this movie? Both actors have already shown they can be very entertaining people to watch. This is a top notch action movie, whether yee be man or woman. The fights are brutal without being gratuitous. Heck, they even throw in a few seconds of bare boobs, just to make sure their bases were covered. The story really stands out, especially among other movies like it. I can't say much except to say it is far better than I expected. This is one I would own.
Cannibal Holocaust - Not sure where I found this one. This was possibly a Bruce Campbell recommendation. This movie follows the story of two groups of explorers who have taken an interest in some rarely seen cannibals. The first group goes in to make a documentary, with the ultimate goal being fame, and maybe an award. The second group goes in to find out what happened to the first group. I imagine you can figure out most of the plot. It is a very odd, disturbing, grotesque movie that should be seen by anyone who likes horror and gore. What is truly odd about this movie is how they mix actual atrocities with fake ones to make a film that blurs the line between movie and reality. The imagery in this movie will haunt my mind for quite some time. If you do not want to see actual footage of animals being killed, stay away.
Feb. 18th, 2008 @ 07:26 pm
|
|
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
burntham77's journal