from the citypaper

eep! a good excuse to use an annoying scroller. weeeee


  

honk honk.

It's almost time for the the New York Burlesque Festival
and I have the honor of being nominated for three Golden Pastie Awards:
-The most unpredictable performer in burlesque
(do they mean great range or emotionally disturbed? either way I'll take it)
-The most inspiring/influential performer in burlesque (*garsh!*)
-Best use of non-traditional items as pasties

you dont say?

you can vote by going to the New York Burlesque Festival Web Site
and clicking on the "Golden Pasties" button on the upper right hand side under the logo.


Golden Pastie Making!

I am so giddy like a schoolgirl waiting for Christmas.
I just got word that burlesque legend Satan’s Angel will be in New York and appearing for one night only at Lotus on Tuesday night. Eeeeep!




Seriously, If you have not experienced the woman you must make it a point to come out.
We actually have a whole slew of special guests in the next few weeks, aside from the amazing local talent.
I'm gunna make it a point to update the site with a schedule today.

Here is just a sneak peek at some of the talent we are expecting:
Gravity Plays Favorites - the duet that stripteases on a pole
Belladonnas de Lux from Sydney
Michele Carr, also known on stage as Valentina Violette from he Velvet Hammer Burlesque
Chica Boom from Seattle Washinton
Selene Luna and Pleasant Gehman who are both in town for Margaret Cho's The Sensuous Woman
right?!?

Someone here just said “this is serious”
To which I replied “we will make you delirious”
He had no idea what I was on about, and that was the last thing I remember.
I woke up 20 minutes later after watching a buzz of retro videos on you tube.

Early Saturday mornings taught me to be afraid of drugs
The quality is terrible, but it’s the full version.

T.V. Explains why I get annoyed when N leaves the pot handles turned out

And why I used the leftover papaya to make frozen sunshine on a stick last week.

It does not quite account for why I sing
“you got matching dogs!
Who’s on the left? Who’s on the right?
I don’t know, I don’t wanna fight.
You got matching dogs!”
Every time I pass someone walking matching dogs.

But it does account for why I think why line skippers are Mr. Bungles

Once my mom said it was a delight to spend the day out with me, cause I was so polite and nice to people. What can I say, I was raised right by television.

I don’t wanna be a Mr. Bungle.

STARSHINE BURLESQUE Presents:
I *pastie* NY
A Burlesque A love/hate story



Starshine Burlesque presents an ode to this bitch of a lover we call New York. Why do we fight tooth and nail to stay in her warm embrace? Let us tell you of our misadventures and conquests using the fine tools of our trade: glitter, humor and a g-string.

Featuring: Creamy Stevens, Little Brooklyn, Tigger!, The World Famous *BOB*, Nasty Canasta, Darlinda Just Darlinda, Gal friday, The Winner of the “Starshine Burlesque Starlet Search”
music by: DJ Fresh Prince of Darkness

www.starshineburlesque.com

It's not a good sign at all when you call tech support and ask:
"I was told to speak with someone in the _____ department, is this the _____ department?"
and they guy says
"unfortunately, it is."
wow.

does anyone need an antique computer? might be good for parts.

info

STARSHINE BURLESQUE Presents:


EXOTIC WORLD BENEFIT

A Burlesque Benefit to Raise Money & Awareness for Exotic World USA

AMAZING RAFFLES AND AUCTION ITEMS TO BE WON!
( Read more more more!  )

ok weird.
I just got a phone call
me: hello
man: yeah, I was just checkin' to see who got my phone number
me: huh
man: yeah, I changed my phone a few weeks ago and I wanna see if its a boy or a girl
me: this was your old number?
then I hear a female robotic-like voice say "thank you"
I said "ok" again and hung up.
I've had this number for years
W T heck?

I fewl ashweep in my pwrop





wide awake pie at pinchbottom burlesque
Featuring:
Tigger!
Jonny Porkpie
and Nasty Canasta
getting pied by Little Brooklyn

Sqeeeel
I’ma so excited to premier my new act this weekend at "THE BAWDY HOUSE", its so HUGE, I feel like I’ma gunna cream myself.
Oh, was that a hint? Hrrrrm could beeeeeee.
Eeeeeee

get the hell out of my head
if I keep reading and find a strip about flying fish roe...

wow

EXOTIC WORLD BENEFIT • May 10th 2007 • RiFiFi

wow

Studio 54 • April 26th • RiFiFi

wow

May Babies • May 3rd • RiFiFi

wow

Summer Starlet Search • June 7th • RiFiFi

wow

I *PASTIE* NY • July 13th • Sideshows By the Seashore

phew!

anyone who knows me even a little will know that is all I would l do if I ever won the lottery.
ok. In my version I would fill up a giant human sized inflatable gerbil ball with those round playpen balls and eat a bowl filled with little round orange sushi eggs while I sit back watching cartoons, but thats very specific.
one day I will host a bring your own balls party and we will make this vision come true.


I know you all relate to this one

a two page ad for Barney's
"select don't settle"
I am not sure I get who's selecting and who's settling

There have been some nasty going ons lately with regards to a certain someone basically copying performers acts down to the very last detail. Pretty crappy stuff.
So it is with great joy that I give nothin’ but love and props to one of the best shows I have ever had the honor of being involved in, Darlinda Just Darlinda’s “Off The Top” a Burlesque TRIBUTE show.
That’s right... People being people are the luckiest people in the world.
Miss Saturn as Tigger!
Tigger as Me!
Darlinda Just Darlinda as Scarlet Sinclair!
Scarlet Sinclair as Nasty Canasta!
Nasty Canasta as Darlinda Just Darlinda!
And me as Miss Saturn!

Bask in the glory of Scarlet Sinclair as she pulls influence from Nasty Canasta’s infamous flower routine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RtHqbaynoI

And check me out doing my very best Miss Saturn with help from NO ONE AT ALL!:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DIMrEtFc7ik

And that is just the tip of the iceberg. This show made my insides implode. Keep an eye out ( May 5th at the slipper room ) as it plans to return over and over, for it is one NOT TO BE MISSED.

interview by mollycrabapple

Last night Noah and I discovered that we have the very same birthmark, in the very same odd color, in the very same odd spot. Exactly. It was very weird and I am still wondering what it all means..
Just another note in a long line of coinky-dinks and coincidences.
Odd timing since we just saw Pan’s Labyrinth.
Segue. None.
I just spotted the cast of Reno 911 in the lobby...
I thought they were real cops at first, then I noticed the odd hair, then I noticed that a few looked like 1970s porn stars, then I noticed the hot pants.
I grabbed my lunch then went over to the real security guard to ask who they were. He’s a huge burly manly man... who quickly hid the Archie digest he was reading. I told him he didn’t have to be ashamed. Too cute.