[Filter: Private]

Such a quiet day.

Almost ... too quiet.

I am not, of course, saying that I miss home. That is not the sort of excitement that I miss, not at all. But it would be nice to have something happen in my life. Since Dame Vanessa left and Uncle Stephan took over the payments to that horrible woman, every single day has fallen into a pattern of such predictability.

There is, of course, still that woman who Brendan believed to be his sister, but she has not said a word in ages. It is fair to assume that she presents no threat to me, or to Emily. And Lord Matthias, well. I have no need at all for him, anymore. That woman is being dealt with.

This complacency ...

It is so ... numbing.

What a foolish thing thing to complain about. I endured mockery and teasing for my whole life, waiting for the day when I would be able to be left alone to read and think and enjoy my own way in peace. That was my biggest, if certainly not only, ambition. I thought, even if it was all I were to receive, it would be more than acceptable, brighten my life, but it has not.




None of this matters, I suppose. I have never truly enjoyed the Festival, not while I was such an easy target, so why should this year be any different at all?

[Filter: Private]

Why should Leisa be allowed to be here? Must they invade every single aspect of my life, even when I am finally away from them?

Perhaps I should simply stop writing. Forever. I could. This journal network never actually chose me, after all.





Hm. It chose Leisa.

[Filter: Private]

... I cannot believe this.

She was -- all this time -- spoiled noblewoman, she calls me? I am truly sorry that "playing nice" was so difficult. A knight does not

Inconceivable.

[Filter: Private]

That truly all could not have gone much worse than it did. At least Keirnan itself is taking care of Linda, now. It is indeed a relief to have that off my shoulders, after so long dealing with it myself.

But Dame Vanessa ...

She was truly a support to me, and I am filled with regret that she was a casualty of this. Sincerely. I wish that there was something I could do.

I am not a monster. I have a heart.

[Filter: Uncle Stephan]

Ah, Uncle ...?

My thoughts are heavy and with my husband this week. I cannot believe that two years have come and gone since his passing, when it truly feels like almost yesterday that I saw him last. I mourn for myself, but more than that, I mourn for Emily. She does need her father so, and she will never know him.

[Filter: Uncle Stephan]

I ... feel strange to ask this, but I must. What happens now, Uncle? I do think I deserve to know ... I've carried this burden for a long time, and Emily's future remains on the line.

[Filter: Private]

He will read her journal. How could he not? He

I am finished.

[Filter: Private]

Just. Stay. Calm.

[Filter: Uncle]

Do you have any update, Uncle, on the ... situation?

[Filter: Private]

This is ...

Delicate.

And I cannot see it ending especially well.

[Filter: Private]

She will leave after her party. She will leave and take her jewels back to Rhia with her and then my options will be quite depleted, will they not? Lord Matthias refuses to come until I give him good reason, and what could I possibly say that he could believe, and I have no funds left of my own. The only option left will be to dirty my hands in the treasury, and it is so easily traceable.

I have truly backed myself into a splendid little corner, now have I not? You cursed old hag, why must you torment me like this?

Emily, dearest, Mother will do anything that she can.