Title: And I guess that I don't know (Part Eight)
Category: fan fiction, role play, chapter
Genre: romance/angst
Date: October 2005 - unfinished

hyde – Ren onegreysunrise/bloodied_quill
tetsu – Kit togiretamelody (Chapters 1-4 – Ryo tetchan_69)
ken – Amaya amaya_kazuki

(Part One ) (Part Two ) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven)

Part Eight: water - November 30, 2005
Paring – tetsuxhyde
Characters in this section – hyde

hyde solo. Far too short to warrant a summary. Consider reading his entry from Nov. 29. His journal often says a lot about how things are. And remember that tetsu can read and comment in hyde's journal if he choses.

Four days. Already, it had been this long since hyde walked out of tetsu’s apartment. It had been more than enough time to think, and to attempt to avoid thinking. After much of the latter, he had finally tried to sort it out. It hadn’t gone well.
It wasn’t pity. hyde swore to himself it wasn’t. It was...it was selfish. He hadn’t wanted tetsu to pull away. What other way to prevent that had there been? But he was farther away now than he’d ever been.

He’d destroyed it. Their friendship. Their relationship, of any kind. And...L’Arc~en~Ciel? How long would the band last when the bassist and vocalist weren’t likely to manage even speaking terms?
No. That was too pessimistic. It could be fixed. tetsu would forgive him. They could work something out.
No. That was too optimistic.
Sitting down on the couch, he stared disinterestedly at the blank TV. He had no desire to turn it on. It wasn’t going to tell him the right thing to do, and he wasn’t going to find it entertaining. He picked up a book, reading only one sentence before tossing it back down. He stared at it, almost surprised when it went out of focus, blurred by tears he couldn’t stop.
Even when he was sobbing, shaking, and exhausted, he couldn’t stop. Didn’t people try to act as though drinking a glass of water was a good way to calm down? It seemed worth a shot. He filled a glass from the tap, and drank it, finding that there was some truth to the idea--it was near impossible to sob while swallowing. But it didn’t prevent you from picking right back up again afterwards. He set the empty glass down in the sink and leaned against the counter for lack of something else to do.
Four days without eating didn’t mix well with near hysterics. He bent forward slightly, retching, and turned to vomit the water and stomach acid. Shaking slightly and coughing, he ran the water to clean out the sink. That was the end of the night for him. Never mind that he’d resolved to eat something before the end of the day, never mind that it was only nine. He brushed his teeth and went to sleep immediately.