blackxskullx

 hmm.. okay
ranting
its what i love doingg.
so sXe or straightedge or what ever the fuck you want to call it.
i know a lot of people in my school that say they are "straightedge"
i honestly hate it.
okay good for you.
you arent supposed to brag about it to people/
its for you and what you want to do in life.
don't shove it down other peoples throats
plz and thx.
i really don't care.
and for the people that get mad at other people for drinking or doing drugs.
do yourself a favor.
don't
its not worth it.
half of the people in my school arent even straightedge that say they are.
they are all just stupid.
w.e

the night before my party i guess i skrewd up a bit. :/.
i had a name victoraslut on my myspace and my parents saw and got mad.
and i havent had a computer since then because my dad smased it.
then in hte morning he started calling up some people and telling them the party was cancled.
when he called armando he told him never to see me again and lose all contact with me or he'd shoot him.
that made me sick ]:
and thne my dad called people back and said it was back on
and then i was a mess at my party.
i was really hoping for it to be great and for me to be happy.
but i guess i cant always get what i want.
]:
after my party was over i didnt eat for 4 days.
im acctually making stuff up i school now so i pass.
and uhmm yeahh
hardddddddd begining of the year..
excpecially that i cant see my friends. ]:

ackkkk w.e... it'll be over before i know it.

okay my party is fusterating me a lot
its saturday
and i still have to write people things x.x
killme.
omg.

okay, im like no where near done for my party ]:
alls i got was the songs 
 

1. Mom & Dad - How Sweet it is to be Loved by You - James Taylor

3. Mike - Fat Lip - Sum 41

4. Natalie - Two Little Sisters - Carly Simon

5. Grandma & Poppie -

6. Gianna - Stop - Spice Girls

7. Paige - My Best Friend - Weezer

8. Tori - Dear Friends - A Cutthroat Kiss

9. Anthony - Thats So You - The Rocket Summer

10. Larry -

11. Anne - True Friends - Hannah Montana

13. Megan W. -

14. Megan H. - On Top Of The World - Boys Like Girls

15. Dennis - Umbrella - McFly

16. Armando - To Trixie And Reptile, Thanks For Everything - Chiodos

Young At Heart - Frank Sinatra

6. Aunt Mary, Uncle Steven, Stevie, Niki, Dolton

6. PeggyChampagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends - Fall Out BoyGood Times - Tommy Lee

i really wish they would stop. like okay, i was able to sorta deal with the dreams i had of me cheating on armando, because i know that would of never happend. i really like him too much. but lastnights dream was jsut different. it was the other way around. and i know who he was cheating on me with in my dream. it makes me want to cry because hes always saying how awesome she is and stuff. idk, maybe im just being really insecure. :/. but in my dream it was just like a normal day. we were in lunch and he was talking to the girl in spanish and he asked her out and said he was going to breakup with me later, and i only knew this because manny told me. but anyway thats what happend. i really think i need a therapist. i REALLY overthink things way too much. it doesn;t let me sleep either. ]:. this isn't normal. 
and i have pains all through out my legs that hurt me mad ]:
and i have just had a bad week all together, so alls i want to do is laydown sleep and cry.
its really no fair.
i hate this.
i hate life
i hate the holidays
and snow
and winter
and the whole fucking month of december.

hmm, maybe i am going crazy. i've had like 5different fuckign moods sincce 5 and its 9. at first i was fine and then i had to go and think. ughh. i fucking hate thinking. i think WAYYYYYYYYYY too much. my mom kept telling me one of my aunts was coming over and i was like okayokayokay. and then i was just sittting here thinking and then i thouhg "what if i end up like her, really old and single and living off my sister." and then i cried for about a half hr. and then she came here and i had to stop and i saw her. she looks like suck a depressed lady and then when she left i cried more.  and then i finally calmed down. and i got really happy, i am in my green hoodie and i had orajel so that kept me happy. and then after that i got really sad again and i dont know why now. my mouth hurts i have swolen glands and growing pains in my legs.

WOOOOOOOOOO! I'm sickkk.
and idk what to do with myself.
im overly bored and hyper.....!

hmm, im cold and tired and im going to get yelled at later.
i decided to sneak armando over and then tell my dad and then i hung out with him for a while and thenhe left and yeah. my dads not going to be home all weekend and im stuck watching my sister. ]: i want my mommy..

ahha i have 13 of 14 of these.

Other symptoms include:

• Anxiety or panic
• Confusion
• Difficulty concentrating
• Forgetfulness
• Poor judgment
• Depression
• Irritability, hostility, or aggressive behavior
• Increased guilt feelings
• Fatigue
• Slow, sluggish, lethargic movement
• Decreased self-image
• Sex drive changes, loss of sex drive
• Paranoia or increased fears
• Low self-esteem

my weekends done. ]:
my moms going away friday morning and im stuck watching my sister
why cant she be older and watch herself?
ughh.
they keep me in all week and now the weekends.
and i wasn't even allowed to go to fla.
witch is a bummer because i was supposed to go over the summer.
so now friday im getting armando to come home on the bus with me
and then im going to try to convince my sister to go to ehr friends house and that ill walk her there
and then ill go out.
and then later on im trying to get anne and paige to sleep over.
and my parents better let me have them over.
and then saturday i have to wait home with my sister till 2 because of ehr game
and then i again cant go out allday.
D:
i hate this
i need my freedom in going out.
people are stupid.
i need a life

Okay so no one is mad at me anymore. 
i am really happy
what can go wrong today?
other then my family asking whats all over my neck
hopefully they dont notice
my chest it wayyy worse.
so i shouldnt worry.
uhmm yeah.
everythings good.
im acctually happy.
and its turkey day [:
so yeah.