transformation of consciousness

so i'm offically intergraded into the world of...well...world of warcraft pc/mass role playing game maddness...and apprently (well since i also addictively play nintendo DS) a "GAMER" (*yippie*)

so if anyone else plays wow you can find me on the Magtheridon server as a 42 blood elf hunter named Kalihel.

^^^^^i've unleashed the horror and there's no turning back^^^^^^

Ok FOX (channel 2) did not just use the ambivalent, indie music of "Explosions in the Sky" as background music for the Tigers/World Series pre-game show...

......oh shit they did.

(why do these subtle, rare instances flabbergast me?? It's FOX for Christ Sakes!! They shouldn't have good taste!? Especially with music. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? What's next Godspeed You Black Emperor for the closing credits!)

Blah. I'm going back to making my vegetarian soup.

My myspace profile song sounds like a fucking prelude/overture song for the opening credits to the " The Lost Boys" movie (man I need to watch that again soon). Also..hello this upcoming friday is on the 13th! I have to work but want to watch the "Friday the 13th" movies afterwards.

So much to look forward to. I start Tai Chi tomorrow. I'm preparing a date for my "Flavor of Love/Season one" party soon, which will be extended to everyone and posted on here. I have a couple active protests coming up and plan on going to Cleveland, OH next month for the night to see the Black Keys play. I'm getting a new digital camera and have a couple shows lined up with bands to do a photoshoot. Hopefully this winter i'll be visiting Toronto again.

I'm at a very positive place right now, much more than a few weeks ago, but I still find i'm missing a piece of myself somewhere along the way. I know it will return to me, and i'll live on if it doesn't...


"Fear not for the future, weep not for the past."

"People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone "



Yesterday before work (oh yeah, I have a wonderful new and for the first time well paying job as a Neurological Recovery Technician) basically working with truamatic brain injuried patients....well before work I decided to visit good 'old belle isle for some self reflection and solitude (which i've been getting a lot of anyways)

 

Standing out on the fishing pier, I broke down and cried. As my tears fell and mixed in with the waves of the Detroit River I suddenly realized that  I was leaving behind a piece of me or a piece of my life that was important and moving into a new chapter or phase in this story of my life. I'm scared. Scared for the uncertinity of school. Scared for the those that I may never talk to again. I feel alone in my desperation. I know I should be fortunate for a new job and the fact i'm continuing classes at wayne, but I feel uncomplete and perplexed about what is troubling me.

And the only real person I can discuss this with is this stupid journal. Perhaps I AM the old man in the sea. Just me and the fish. Alone (yet content?) in my adventures.

I never wanted it to end this way, but this is what you want, i'll have to live with that...if I never see you again, I wish you the best and good luck.

Also, many of the postcards I send are from my personal photograph collection...soooooooooooo

you should feel special if you get one dammit.

gooday'

Returned from my
Great Lake's scuba diving adventure on sunday.....

Lake Superior is mighty cold, even in the summer, but that's probably because we went down to the depth of 85 feet....which was around 42 degrees!

Saw some amazing boat skeletons and artifiacts..although I didn't take any pictures here are some that pretty much sum up what I saw. Also, the pictured rocks were astonishing as well!

It was a fantastic trip.

Last night I was proud to witness Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull) and the Meadow Brook Sympthony Orchestra and this amazing 23 year old violinist Lucia Micarelli..........dueling instruments rock!


Check this video out!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9k8_DxTjQY

gabe is about to stop by, I'm making lunch for us.

i'm so happy, he's buying me a DS lite..I sold my orginial ds to the little kid i babysit...(she paid me in 50 one's from her piggy bank) I felt slightly gulity.

Tao's adventure on DS is awesome....I highly recommend it. It's all about monster eggs, casting spells and pissing neighbors off...

today I have the day off of work but still babysit at 5pm (oh well i need cash)

Oh for anyone interested, a bunch of us are going to the DEAD MEADOW concert next monday night at the Lager house downtown...let me just say it is also dollar drink night on everything...

let me know if you want to join my gang...i'm driving too.

peace out homies

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. I hate love.

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.

love don't give up on me.

So I got a brand new, full-time job as a cashier at Food Patch in Ferndale. I really am excited b/c it's like working at Nurti-Foods in Royal Oak, a store full of natural food, organic products and health supplements..... and Gabe is working full time stock so that will work hopefully with car pooling some days...I also get medical benefits after 6 months which is vital 'cause i'll be off my parent's insurance in september. I plan on taking only 1 or 2 classes in junction with working full time next fall.

So, come visit me at Food Patch. Off woodward and west on nine mile, south side of 9 mile, one block from woodward.

<sub><sup>Today is my "golden birthday". I'm offically 22.  It's also earth day. Please recycle and reuse\e......i'm going to volunteer next saturday to plant trees along 16 mile next to the bike path....around the jefferson and crocker area..this is going to be a big event for Harrison Twp...if anyone else wants to participate leave me a message...it would be all day probably.

I plan on laying outside, walking Scout, eating a dinner made by my dad and playing a huge game of Dungeon and Dragons and Nintendo DS tonight with cool nerds.

End.</sup></sub>

Recent things:


Pluses:

+ Got a nintendo DS for my birthday (which is not till the 22nd, may I add...) w/the game Animal Crossing. Freaked about it.

+ Buying those ridiculous shoes called "Heelies" or is it "Heelys" next week when I get paid.

+ School is coming along

+ Dorkwave was insane last night

+ Bought tons on new mult-colored tights and 80's dressing thifting yesterday.

+ I'm actually being consistant with working out again

+ Weather is getting nicer. Picnics and Bikerides!!

+ Gabe is awesome.

__________________________________________________________---------------



-------------------- ^^^&%&^$$$%^&(((

Minuses:

- I'm always broke. But that's expected when you live paycheck to paycheck..

-FUCKING DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME...(we lost an hour and now my biological clock is screwed up)

-Gasoline is depressing. I can't fathom how it is 2.70 now....i'm taking the SMART bus from now on.

-I think my consuming actions last night upsetted someone dear to me...and I regret it.

I just got home from Gabe's house....Upon leaving..I slipped on his outdoor stairs and landed on my ass...


I don't like freezing rain.

I don't like it one bit.

It makes me look like a klutz.

I'm a klutz anyways, but it adds insult to injury.

Then I parked my car outside of my house..and alas! more freezing rain mishap!!! My car skidded toward the grass/lake...it was kinda fearful..but i'm safe now..


safe to update this pointless journal entry about how much I hate freezing rain.

(the end)

yeah it's early.

for some reason I've been waking up every hour on the hour since 2.

so I said "fuck it". Why not get up early and update the LJ?




Corinna thanks for cutting my hair last night...and thus, freeing my eyes from being blind.

Nicole it was nice seeing you too...I hope you guys like your hand me downs...

I'm changing the date, time and location of my previous entry advertising the bar sale thats going on.......

this is the revised invitation:

SO

I won't be selling things tonight at the magic stick. (too much is going on today that I can't make it down there)

BUT please be advised of next weeks sale. 

PLEASE COME NEXT WEEK!

Let it be known, I have a zombie lover. That likes to bite necks.

I hardly update in this thing anymore. I have a journal I write in daily, but your eyes will never see it.

I'm avoiding all attemps to write my 3 page paper for English (due tomorrow mind you)

Lately, I've had an unhealthy obsession with deconstructive music. (I.E.>>>Made in Mexico, Get Hustle, Lake Dracula and Arab on Radar)

With that note, Record Time (the roseville store) is having a major sale for the next 4 days....I strongly suggest you take you weekly earnings there.

Further more, I'm collecting all my vintage junk and non-vintage junk to start selling weekly at the Majestic Cafe on Wednesday nights...or at the Belmount tuesday nights if I can make it. Extra crash will feed this new music obsession I have.

Friday I get to do a photo shoot for a Detroit D.J. This is exciting. Saturday I've been invited to a couple's party in Royal Oak (is this a humble way of saying "orgy"?)

Sunday is some strange band playing at the magic stick.




Tonight Gabe is stopping by so we can watch Project Runway. This makes me gitty. If I was a designer, all my outfits would probably be something Karen O would wear...strange, random and ridiclous.

My brother Louis wants me to make him a profile for MYSPACE...my decision on that matter is still pending. I have too much love for that kid to help him commit his life into a internet vegetable...he's only 11 for fuck sake.

I'm through with this, time to take a shower.

Fuck Yeah! ***********It's snowing***************




Things to take advantage of today:
-snowHUMANS!
-hot chocolate
-snow fight with scout
-drink wine (that really doesn't "mix" with the winter merriment, but whatever)

now
the lake
just needs to freeze.