...and all of fandom 'splodes.

There's a new ( spoiler? ) comin' to Supernatural. Oh, noes!
The OTW will destroy fandom as we know it. Oh, noes!
Outing Naomi Novik's fannishness for fun and profit. (Yes, I know. No, I'm not telling.)
We all hateses Joss Whedon now. Oh, noes!

I'm going to go hide under my bed... for the rest of my life.

Where's my "No one expects the fannish inquisition" icon? Damn, it's in my fannish journal. ;-)

Okay, I'm awful. I know I'm awful. I'm suspicious and irreverant and given to asking the most annoying questions. I warn people, really I do. I tell them I will analyze what they write or say to me and it is unlikely they will like what comes out. Still, some persist in wanting to forward a connection and since I'm not willing at this point to admit to how minimally this attracts my interest - I try to engage. In this case this means I both spoke and exchanged email with this man.

First of all - I am going to notice if you are dodgy about your age. Don't LIE!!!
Second - I am going to notice if you are telling a story. I recognize FICTION!!

By this I mean that if you present this tidy little fiction about how you came to be in this place at this time, (trolling for women) - and if it runs out of your mouth or off your pen in convenient and well groomed fashion, then I know its fake. I'm sure it has true bits and I'm just as sure that it avoids all the messy things and you really shouldn't try that with me cause I'm like a bulldog with mysteries, they are like plot problems that I feel compelled to solve.

Third - don't immediately become defensive after not bothering to ask ME a SINGLE question about myself. Relating is not ALL ABOUT YOU!
Fourth - don't call me judgmental, insinuating and WRONG when I ask questions.

I don't insinuate - I'm far more blunt than that - if I want to say something I say it. If you feel all defensive that's your own stuff - own it.

Oh, you just now remembered I have some expertise in this whole parsing the human condition thing - oops... want some toast with that egg on your face?

I didn't fall of the turnip truck yesterday - Dude, you are MARRIED and guess who's the first person I want to talk to - yep, your wife. You claim she knows everything and she has simply lost her libido and found satisfaction with deep involvement in the church. DUDE! Do you KNOW how trite that song is? What do you think, there are hordes of single women out here wanting to chase you into a corner for some nooky?

Which of my EVIL friends sicced you on me? Bastards!!

Poly my ass --

Okay, just for the record - there is NO SUCH THING as poly/mono - and I don't care how many Loving More articles you've read claiming there is. Bottom line, if one person in a relationship has other partners then what you have is a V with an inactive leg. If you aren't disclosing EVERYTHING to your partner(s) then what you have is CHEATING!!!

pesk --

For the RECORD: Relationships are costly, messy and utterly precious. 

Anything less is probably a sexual troll trying to act like it's more.

According to the Code of Hammurabi, you could be put to death for subjecting others to annoying commercials for your E.D. medications.

So last night Emma thought she spied the baby raccoon eyes out in the darkness so my dear sweet husband of 22 years, 11 months, two weeks and two days poured half a bag of Science Diet (aka Very Expensive Cat Food) on the porch to lure them out. This picture here below (plus another similar one of them running away) cost us 10-15 BUCKS. But Emma had about $5.85 worth of glee and a few dollars worth of communing with nature, so I guess it's not a big deal, but JEEZ. Silly old man.

These babies have grown so much already. Yes, these are the babies! This is only the second time we've gotten a good look at them. They actually look pretty tubby in this picture, but they are still quite small compared to their mother. We're going to have six giant raccoons coming to our house for food on a regular basis soon. Not cool. But so cute!!

Spouse and I are leaving at 4 PM today to go see:

3 Doors Down
Staind
Hinder
....and some other band I thought was Jet (from Canada) but apparently isn't??? --

at the Comcast Center (formerly Tweeter Center) in Mansfield, MA.

That's a damned good line-up. Don't know what the story is with ersatz Jet (wut?)? If it's The Real Jet after all, I'll let y'all know tomorrow. Concert review pending. (maybe)

Ozzfest is fucked up this year for some reason (one city only?). No word on a Family Values tour (Korn is taking a rest? Jonathan is busy with something else?). Waiting for word on Loco Fest/Locobazooka (lots of local bands appear at that one, plus big names on the main stage -- that's where we FINALLY saw Alice Cooper last year! *hearts Alice*)

But there's a new one out there called "Mayhem festival." We're going, mid-August. Slipknot, Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, and many other awesome hardcore bands.

Acoustic MERMAIDER! *grins* *and headbangs* *mildly, because it's acoustic*

-PQ-

Hey.  Hi there!  How are ya?  I know, I know... It's been about thirty years since I have updated anything (okay, a week and a day, but in Internet "constantly refreshing browser time," it may as well be thirty years.  am I right?).  Before you start waving your Yenta finger all up in my face about never calling or writing, let me attempt to put into words what my life has been like since I last posted.

Last Tuesday I met with the owners of this new spa where my prints will be hanging.  And saying that the meeting went well is a slight understatement.  The prints that the owners picked out are not to be sold from their walls.  In fact, they wish to purchase those prints so that they may remain hanging in thier lobby permanently.  Then, upon a guided tour of the building, I was informed that works of art were needed for two massage rooms, a facial room, and a hallway.  In a matter of seconds, I was handed four, six-foot walls; a color scheme; and A TWO WEEK DEADLINE.  They would very much like by the end of the month that four large paintings, four matted and framed prints (and you know, whatever else I can pull out for other areas of the spa), be hung on the walls in time for opening day.

So commenced the freaking of the out.

Last week I:
-Completed all of my driver safety course/speeding ticket bullshit (horay for not going to jail!).
-Did a really fun beauty shoot with my girl, Melissa (Thanks for letting me cover your face with crazy colored eye shadow, hon!).
-Met with the owners of the spa and promptly wet my pants.
-Made about four trips to the printers and countless runs to Texas Art Supply, Michael's, Hobby Lobby, and Home Depot.
-Registered my DBA and got a tax ID number (yay!  I'm a business!).  Also?  A million-ga-gillion thanks to my amazing friend Roxy who did those errands with me; and totally made the day fun.
-Got two of the four large art pieces for the spa mostly finished.  
-Checked on and picked up a CD of the images shot of my older paintings (Ileya?  you are amazing.  I am so grateful for all of the hard work you put into these images.  they're awesome; and you rock my world. thank you.).
-Met with my web developer (before which I had to do things like make a spreadsheet of my works of art and write a bio page, etc.).  The website?  Is gonna rule.  And it should launch (hopefully) in mid-August, or (at the latest) sometime at the end of August.

Just when I thought that I might fall over from exhaustion, my wonderful-wonderful wife whisked me away to Galveston for a relaxing weekend by the beach.  She could not have planned a better block of days for this mini vacation, as I was in desperate need of down time come Friday morning.

 





*Click photos for descriptions, notes and larger views.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some more panicking to do.

Well that's no good ... .

... exists in the first place, folks. Because they are human beings, some women (and, of course, men.... we all know that already) are just plain Psycho. I point this out as an illustration of why feminist empowerment is good! -- but Psycho-Bitch behavior is still just psycho. Don't expect me to excuse this woman's appalling behavior just because she's female. Fuck that. Sisterhood only goes so far, and my female friends know how much I love them and admire their fantastic souls and their wonderful talents.

Put this woman's picture in the dictionary next to "Psycho-Bitch":

"Angry YouTube Wife Loses Divorce Case"
http://news.aol.com/article/angry-youtube-wife-loses-her-case/93291?icid=200100397x1206085211x1200315944

And you men who behave in a similarly infantile way? You are going in the dictionary next to the term "Psycho-Prick."

Damnit, acquire some common decency, please!

She screwed herself over by being an idiot. In all likelihood, the way the laws are set up, she could have walked away with sympathy and riches if she could have only controlled her stupidity and appalling personality.

That poor guy. Gentlemen, take a lesson here. No sex is that good.... c'mon. Use your upper brain, please.

-PQ-

P.S. Heather!Mills! *shakes head at Paul... Sir Dude, what the hell were you thinking? Listen to your own kids next time, for Christ's sake*

Apparently, Unzipped Monthly is interested in interviewing Todd Gregory. I got an e-mail yesterday from the publicity department of Kensington, and apparently, they are all about Every Frat Boy Wants It. This, of course, is quite pleasing to me--let's face it, the glossy national gay porn magazines have a bigger circulation than their 'newsy' counterparts; and some of their readers might actually read the articles. (When I worked for that Unnamed Publisher, I always encouraged my authors--or tried to, anyway--to suck up to the porn mags, and insisted to the Marketing department that ads in those magazines were most likely more effective than in other, more 'mainstreamy' type gay mags; not, of course, that anyone ever listened to me. After all, what do I know?)

I'd intended to work on the Kansas book yesterday, but didn't. I know, I know, bad Greg, bad Greg. What can I say? I slept in, got up, went to the gym and Melanoma Center, ran some errands, came home, cleaned for a while, and started reading Graham Green--and then got sucked into a whirling vortex of incredibly bad television. When Paul got home from playing tennis, we then watched Anne of the Thousand Days, starring Richard Burton and Genevieve Bujold. After the movie was over, I found myself having to explain to Paul the whole 'six wives of Henry VIII' thing--and the lineage of the current Queen. As I was 'splainin' all this to Paul last night, I thought, hmmm, this would be an interesting and informative LJ entry; thank your lucky stars that I am not in the mood to go all Tudor on your asses today.

I also have to work today; no big deal, of course, but man! I wish I could stay home. In fact, I wish I was independently wealthy--in which case I would never leave the house again. My grooming has kind of slid lately; I need to reshave my head and I need to shave my face. I had planned on doing all of that this morning, but I find myself lethargic and overly lazy. Big shock there, correct?

I also paid the bills and balanced my checkbook yesterday; which was a HUGE mess. It's straightened out now, but lord. It is amazing how many times I deducted the same thing from my balance twice. Granted, that's better than forgetting to deduct things, but still, it took quite a while to straighten out that mess, and dealing with finances always puts me into a foul mood. I'm not sure why that is.

Okay, I need to get cleaned up and start my day.

Edit Oh! I have been meaning to share this for a while....A&U magazine is doing a story on Saints and Sinners; one of the photos they are using is of yours truly, posing with none other than timothyjlambert and (GASP) markgharris.

Are you ready for your close-up, Mr. Harris?

It has been a very busy month since I last checked into Lj land.One month exactly it seems. Busy in a good good way.

A few weeks ago,, I took Brenjo and Savy with me to a movie along with Chaos, Swan and her kiddos, Tekla, Clem, Chaos, Monday and Kiki. It was the old theatre in Boscobel with the cheap prices and all.It was a fun night.


Then Zee and I spent a Saturday shopping for plants and other bits and bobs. We went to a local Norwegian goods store and later had a picnic lunch. I have been over to see her and L.R. quite a bit to work on the shrub garden we started over there and to just hang out. It has been three short years on the shrub garden and it looks fantastic if I do say so myself.

Last week, Kiki and I went to Tekla's place. We made spaghetti and then talked for hours and hours.It was a good time discussing the kind of info you only share with friends you trust deeply, so it was exhausting but healthy. Her place overlooks the Mississippi and she has a fabulous sense of interior design so it is always a pleasure for the senses going there.

This past week, Chaos, Favorite Cousin, F.C.'s hubby, River, Savy and Brenjo and I went to the local County Fair. Savy won a cake on the Kid's Cake Walk. Three year old Brenjo tried to compete but he got eliminated fairly quickly. We ran into heaps of folks we knew. It was a good night with perfect weather.

This week, Kiki and Tekla took me out to a favorite Mexican restaurant of theirs and last night, Swan and the kids took me out to eat across the Mississippi in Lansing. Afterward, we stopped at Favorite Cousin's so the kiddos could all play awhile. They each have three so when they all get together, it is a bit much for Uncle Todd, so it is always good to have a Mom around with a "Mom Voice" to corral them in. Favorite Cousin and I gave Swan a garden tour. It was a good good time.

Tekla had a party the Sunday before last, a jewelery selling party of some type. I watched Favorite Cousin's and Swan's kids while they went to the party. Swan's kids joined the DTMB Club and we had our first meeting. It was sunny and mild in the 70's with a beautiful breeze.

This past weekend, I went to the local Seneca Day festival and parade. My friend Chaos who grew up in Washington D.C. and NYC, but raised her kids here, says that small town parades are where half the town is in the parade and the other half watches. They then rotate the next year. Heaps upon heapsof candy is thrown, string cheese, freezies, plastic cups, etc.... I had such a splendid time. First I ran into N and Ica and their huge family mass along the parade route. I moved on to Tekla, her Mom and Sweet little year old niece, who is a wonderfully exotic mix of Irish, Italian, Cambodian, Chinese and German. What a beauty.

From their we strolled further down the parade route to see Lil'A and then Swan, her kids, folk's siblings and the like.

The parade ended and Lil'A and I were walking out to the festival grounds, and who should stop to pick us up but Favorite Cousin and her Hubby. River, Savy and Brenjo were out at the festival grounds already as they had been on one of the floats in the parade throwing candy.

At the festival grounds, I hung out with all of the folks above as well as Kiki and Romeo and my old friend Puffy. Savy and Brenjo won at least seven stuffed animals from the girl scout games and Brenjo desperately wanted to drive one of the tractors from the parade.It really was a splendid day.

My garden is doing wonderfully well this year. We have had plenty of good rains and the days have been summery but not bad, mostly 70's and 80's (21c to 31c) which I know compared to the states to our south is quite nice, even if I would choose 60's and 70's ( 15c to 26c).

Currently as I look out my cabin window, I see blooming away,

Hypericum
Oriental Lilies
Tiger Lilies
Gazania
Regular Zinnia
Persian Carpet Zinnia
Cleome
Celosia
Snapdragons
Asclepias
Dianthus Amazon Neon
Delphiniums
Monarda Bee Balm
Agastache
Phlox
Daylilies, four colors I can spot.
Giant Skaugum Begonia
Bedding Begonia
Yucca
Summer Night Heliopsis
Eryngium Sea Holly
Echinacea Coneflower, three colors I can spot.
Perennial Sweet Pea
Giant Dahlia
Gladiola
Euryops
Petunia of all colors and sizes
Gaillardia
Marigold varieties from the little gem herb variety to the large pom pom variety.
Gomphrena
Annual Geranium
Ageratum
Nasturtium
Impatiens
Freesia
Flowering Oregano
Calibrachoa

Well, that seems like a good inventory of what is blooming away here in my wee valley along the Mississippi in late July, and what I have been up to this last month.

 The Funk has left the building!! But it screwed with my sleep pattern before it left.

In the Runway Monday challenge, the winner is announced right here. Hint: It wasn't my design that won. But I'm fine with that. I enjoyed your comments and what the judges had to say. Plus I liked the other two designs. I'm glad I don't have to vote. Thanks to the judges--"Miranda," "Michelle," and Mary, for their hard work, and to Marika for putting it all together. (What is this M theme?)

I'm looking forward to this week's challenge. I had no idea this would be as much fun as it is.

( sadly, the models are not quite as enthusiastic )

After finally getting around to doing the dishes…

Don: “I read a blog article once about doing the dishes the night before setting out on a road trip…”

Linda “That was when I was young and idealistic.” ;)

Read the rest of this entry »

Holy flying crap, Nikki and I won the first LJRunway Mondays competition. Yay! See what "Heidi Gunn" and the LJRunway judges had to say about the designs in the first challenge here.

Now that EZ's been spayed and no longer looks as though she's wearing a legwarmer for a Flashdance audition, Laura wants to include a photo of the new and improved Bionic EZ 2008 model in the next Scout's Honor newsletter and update her adoption listing. With this in mind, and the knowledge EZ needs to go out for walks, I loaded the EZ and my camera into the car and took her to Bayou Bend Park for a photoshoot. For some reason it's been months since I've used my camera, so not all the shots were great, but I posted a few of them to Flickr, which you can view here.

( click here for more boring dog babble )

First a big apology to all the fans of LJ Runway - to say my computer has been acting up  is an understatement,  this is my third, and hopefully my final  attempt to post this weeks winner 

Yes, we do have a winner! 

First a big thank you to our judges 

Miranda Priestley 

and 

Michelle Kors 

This weels celebrity guest judge 

NAME: Mary Cameron-Scorsese
CURRENTLY RESIDES: Raleigh, North Carolina
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Edith Head, Bob Mackie, Colleen Atwood
 FASHION MUST: A collection of eyeglasses from the fine house of zennioptical.com, black leggings, Old Navy $1. flip flops-- I dress to watch movies! 
ABOUT MYSELF: Movie fashion is my first love, but for this challenge I'll be looking for something provocative, pretty, fierce and fresh fresh fresh!  I have judged doll fashion before-- when I reviewed the series of Bratz (Direct to DVD) movies. I'm afraid they weren't positive reviews. There was nothing new to be seen in that fashion disaster. I was expecting at least some fierce shoes on these big-lipped beauties, but it was all just a bit too plastic.  

A BIG thanks to all the judges for making this happen ... 

And now to our designers

Timothy



Becks



markGharris



Now for the judging

From Mary

Becks: The dress is lovely. Becky gets points for developing a technique that made wax paper look like fabric, points for using fresh produce and points for using a Munchos bag-- I LOVE Munchos! But the design is a bit too traditional and one note. Put that red hair with a dress that matches and add green accents-- Miss Summer ends up looking a bit like a strawberry! A Strawberry Tart!

markGharris: On the other end of the spectrum, there's nothing traditional about Mark's design. The silhouette IS striking and the ass label was a nice surprise. But why "Del Monte?" Why not "Le Sueur" or "Goya?" And what's special and sexy about green beans? Why not chick peas in sauce, or extra sweet niblets? Why not hot stuffed red peppers? I love the bar code bodice, and the bolero jacket is perfectly styled, but the bottom half just wasn't up to the level of the top half.

Timothy:  This design strikes the perfect balance. The cut of the dress is classic and yet also fresh. The styling and the colors he chose are perfect for this model. The dress hangs just right. His utilization of entire tea bags in the construction of a tea party dress demonstrates a commitment to concept that can put a project right over the top. His design is fresh, hot and sweet and Nikki wears it perfectly. This design is my winner this week.

From Miranda 

BECKS: While I was disappointed in Becky's lack of creativity in using wax paper (read: sheets of fabric) I was very pleased with the silhouette and color scheme. I also was impressed by her use of a perishable food item as a highlighter. This dress looks like something that would be worn by an on-the-go modern working woman going out on the town and turning heads. She managed to make wax paper look expensive. Becks gets my vote for the win.

TIMOTHY: I applaud the use of tea bags and the cake sprinkles for creativity. However, the silhouette was the same as a sack of potatoes, and while eye-catching, the design would make any woman look shapeless. Had he cinched the waist or added a belt, this would have been my winner.

markGharris: Ghastly. While I applaud the creative use of food items and the butt sign was a pleasant surprise, I don't think the modern woman would really want to have a logo on her ass that makes me think of canned peas. The silhouette was odd; and while he claimed he left 'ventilating' panels on the leggings, it just looks unfinished and sloppy. I don't think Mr. Harris is taking this seriously.

From Michelle 

markGharris
I did like the lines of the UPC code -- and kudos to you for keeping them vertical. I'm going to assume the bare areas on the legs are simulated holes for the punk look. The tailored lines are nice but...and speaking of butts: Nice job on the Del Monte label.

You definitely stayed within the rules of the challenge. I just don't get "punk," though. I'm sorry, but no punk I know, and I knew many back in the day, wore a bolero jacket. Marie Antionette would smear cake on it. Lose the jacket, and the design works better.

Becks
Fantastic job overall. The parsley added a splash of contrast for all the and brown. I like the dress and your special dye job. I do question the choice of material. While this dress won't ride up and expose Summer, I'm afraid that the rigidity of the material will make it behave much like a hoop skirt. Oh my Lord, shades of Carol Burnett in the "Gone With the Wind" sketch. Poor Summer will sit, and the front of the dress will flip up like a car hood and expose her engine.

Timothy
I love this dress. You chose a theme and stuck with it. You created a lovely, almost retro, sun dress that's the perfect tea party ensemble. Does she have Splenda in that purse? And I just heart the use of the sprinkles.

Winner: Timothy

Timothy for the win!!!!! 

I don't know anyone else, but I'll be on pins and needles till next week ... SEW long! 

Remember when Lisa and her daughter passed through Asheville? On Sunday, for their next trick...

( Presto! )

On July 21, 1899, Ernest Hemingway was born in Oak Park, Illinois. Several decades later, I would first "discover" him through The Sun Also Rises and develop a passion for every word he wrote, even those published posthumously, and for learning every thing I could about his life. Maybe I wouldn't have been friends with him--I'm definitely not about big-game hunting in Africa, and his attitude toward women was often abysmal. But I fell in love with his language, his passion for the great outdoors, and the moral codes of his characters, and I'll make no apologies for that.

In 1987, the year before Tom and I married, we took a vacation with friends to Florida that included a drive down to Key West. Since I was there, I opted out of some other group activity one morning so that I could spend time at Hemingway's Key West home. It's been too many years ago for me to remember details about where on the property I took some of these photos, but I offer them to anyone who'd like to enjoy them as a celebration of the birthday of one of our greatest American writers, Ernest Hemingway.

( pictures are here )

I was rereading an article I wrote a couple years back. I realized that it definitely wasn't as good as it could have been. In retrospect, I should have let it sit a while before I sent it out because there was a lot of aspects of it that needed to be revised such as the prose, organization, and argumentation. It wasn't horrible by any means, but there were definitely sections of it that needed improvement.