Joseph A. Hayden (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} bearlawnyc) wrote,@ 2004-09-15 00:48:00 |
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Tricking Etiquette
Someone I tricked with about a year ago wrote me and asked me to please not respond if for some reason his boyfriend contacted me to find out if we had played. I was so incensed that I responded this way:
"I am not getting involved in anyone's relationship drama, first of all. You probably don't remember our discussion on the matter, but I do not believe in monog or even the don't-ask-don't-tell policies of gay male relationships for just these sorts of reasons. You gave me the impression (not that I was owed the litany of details that made up your boyfriend's relationship with you) that your non-cohabitational open relationship was honest, but after we tricked you shocked me with the request that I not acknowledge you in public if we should come across each other in the presence of your boyfriend (which to my knowledge I have not even seen you once). That request of yours I found rather insulting, but I bit my tongue as I did like you and wouldn't have minded revisiting your bed. However, your subsequent lack of communicating and ultimately telling me that I should move on and find other guys to play with even though you supposedly liked the time we shared sealed our potential friendship's fate heretofore, if you recall.
"I am again dumbfounded at why you would go out of your way to contact me strictly for the purpose of salvaging your relationship, as if I have anything to do with its longevity. If your boyfriend is that insecure that one trick more or less from times gone by would make such a difference, then I think you should ask yourself why you are settling for such an unstable man, particularly if he is capable and has exercised his opportunity to contact people in an effort to prove you had more tricks than he did.
"This email from you is really a stretch and it again shows your complete lack of sensitivity to others' feelings while you do your thing. The world does not revolve around your relationship, even if your tricks do. I have far more important things to worry about in my life than how many tricks someone had in his purportedly honest relationship and being contacted by the boyfriend of some ex-trick who wanted nothing else to do with me socially or sexually despite what seemed to be a positive experience at the time we met as we kissed AFTER we came and put our clothes back on (not something I find all already-coupled guys willing to do)."
Someone I tricked with about a year ago wrote me and asked me to please not respond if for some reason his boyfriend contacted me to find out if we had played. I was so incensed that I responded this way:
"I am not getting involved in anyone's relationship drama, first of all. You probably don't remember our discussion on the matter, but I do not believe in monog or even the don't-ask-don't-tell policies of gay male relationships for just these sorts of reasons. You gave me the impression (not that I was owed the litany of details that made up your boyfriend's relationship with you) that your non-cohabitational open relationship was honest, but after we tricked you shocked me with the request that I not acknowledge you in public if we should come across each other in the presence of your boyfriend (which to my knowledge I have not even seen you once). That request of yours I found rather insulting, but I bit my tongue as I did like you and wouldn't have minded revisiting your bed. However, your subsequent lack of communicating and ultimately telling me that I should move on and find other guys to play with even though you supposedly liked the time we shared sealed our potential friendship's fate heretofore, if you recall.
"I am again dumbfounded at why you would go out of your way to contact me strictly for the purpose of salvaging your relationship, as if I have anything to do with its longevity. If your boyfriend is that insecure that one trick more or less from times gone by would make such a difference, then I think you should ask yourself why you are settling for such an unstable man, particularly if he is capable and has exercised his opportunity to contact people in an effort to prove you had more tricks than he did.
"This email from you is really a stretch and it again shows your complete lack of sensitivity to others' feelings while you do your thing. The world does not revolve around your relationship, even if your tricks do. I have far more important things to worry about in my life than how many tricks someone had in his purportedly honest relationship and being contacted by the boyfriend of some ex-trick who wanted nothing else to do with me socially or sexually despite what seemed to be a positive experience at the time we met as we kissed AFTER we came and put our clothes back on (not something I find all already-coupled guys willing to do)."
