| Now I'm Just a Fat Nigger |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|01:59 pm] |
I’ve been called a lot of things in my day, but this takes the cake.
My (biracial) daughter, Alex, and I were on the E train on the way to JFK Airport to pick up my cousin and his wife arriving from Italy for the holidays. She was seated in a car which had no empty seats left and with a few people like me standing (so not sardine-packed). From behind me I was pushed deliberately (Alex even saw it) by some punk who I do not believe perceived me speaking to Alex at first. I immediately went ghetto on him and said, "it's called 'excuse me'" to which the young black man said, "you saw me coming, nigger!" I said, "Do I have eyes on the back of my head, you rude mother fucker?" He was shocked at my sailor potty-mouth dishpan response without missing a beat. He couldn't quite look me in the eye for some reason, but faced me from about seven feet away and started calling me a "fat nigger" and rambling on unintelligibly. He obviously makes it a routine to pick fights. I told Alex quietly to put her head up as she was looking down as if to submit without dignity, which I told we have. Then I pointed to him and loudly said to her, "THAT is why you shouldn't do drugs!" He mumbled something about not being Sean Bell (the black, unarmed groom who was recently shot by mostly Latino/black cops fifty plus times).
I guess when he saw me from the front and saw how mean I looked, he realized he had picked the wrong brother. He probably thought I was a cop because I was so ready to call him on his rude behavior. Especially in front of my daughter, I wasn't going to let some punk ass make me his punching bag, verbally or otherwise. I was in control of the scene. If he was going to pull something out of his puffy jacket, I wasn't going to be caught off guard. I had him stared down so that I was ready to rush him if necessary and I had a clear line to do so, which he realized, so he headed toward the back door of the train. I had a feeling that the entire train ridership was behind me, so I was emboldened and empowered, especially since I knew I was in the right. There was no way that he did not have enough room to walk around me. He then mumbled about how he was prepared to let me watch him until 71st Street and then he sat down, but then he must have gotten intimidated as he eventually said he didn't want to look at the "fat nigger" anymore and then went to another car while the train was still in motion, but not before I called him a big pussy a few times. Imagine if I would have kicked his ass and then told him he had just been beaten up by a fag?
During the whole ordeal Alex was scared that he had a weapon, but she was glad I spoke up. I asked her if I sounded like a big queen when I told him off. She said that he only called me a fat nigger because he didn’t have anything else to say. Later she told me that she observed some of the passengers laughing, hopefully because I put the punk in his place. She lamented about how hard it must be to be a guy to be challenged like that. Women may get harassed by gawking passersby, but men sometimes have to assert themselves just for existing. Alex also speculated that my quick wit probably came from my law school training. I don't know how many times I was taught to call someone a pussy and a mother-fucker in law school, but I'm glad it worked. I hope the bastard learned a lesson not to take for granted that he can start up with passengers at random. After not having an incident quite this intense in over 22 years of living here, I was just glad that this did not happen minutes after my cousin and his wife arrived in New York for the first time in their lives. My mother wants me to be careful, of course, but she laughed and asked me, “Did you really call him a mother-fucker?”
A few months ago Alex asked me if I ever used the word "Nigger". I told her, "Of course!" Let me qualify that. I proceeded to explain to her that it's a disgusting word and I hate it, but recently I had been contacted by a very annoying gay guy who lived very far away and who had a very shady profile. I told her that he was not someone who I was interested in communicating with for any reason. Defensive to my lack of interest, he retorted with, "What's wrong man, is the fact that I'm a black man intimidating to you?" I immediately responded with, "Nigger, please. You obviously don't know me." My life story speaks for itself. |
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| a real chat conversation I had... |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|08:58 pm] |
Several months ago a guy who I have been in contact with for some time in Toronto whose plans fell through to visit a bear in NYC chatted me up to lament about how flaky the other guy was. To comfort him I said that I would have hosted him "with gusto".
He replied, "huh?"
I said "with vigor".
He asked, "Is that your lover?"
When I told him that I meant that I would host him with enthusiasm he said, "Were those Italian words?"
I said, "Maybe originally, dollface."
I hope he isn't an Anglophone. |
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| Back from Spain, France & Italy |
[Aug. 17th, 2005|04:10 pm] |
There are many stories that I want to write about regarding my recent journey through Europe, some of them unbelievable. I am very glad I went despite the financial and emotional cost. While it almost took a huge toll on my body, somehow I survived all the stress of traveling on a boat, 4 planes, driving from Barcelona to Calabria and then back to Roma over the mountains and through over 300 tunnels, buses and trains all within about 8 days.
One of my best friends of 8 years, Tony, accompanied my teenage daughter and me. He had not flown in over 8 years and went through extreme anxiety on the flights, especially when there were some bumps. He also does not have a driver's license so all of the driving was done by me and I did not sleep two nights, save for 15 minutes here or there. I drove roughly the equivalent of New York to Minneapolis and realized when I got to my mother's house in southern Italy that I would not survive a drive all the way back. So instead of ultimately saving money by driving, we spent another chunk of change to take a ferry from Rome to Barcelona for 20 hours. We only had about 4 days with my family in Italy and a lot of that involved running around getting tickets for the boat and the documentation that Tony needed to bring back to get his Italian citizenship (that is a story in and of itself).
I took lots of pictures and we all had a good time, but every step of the way we could hardly believe we made it. I missed my man back in New York who was watching the dog and cat as we are anticipating his moving in. Next trip I would not make without him.
The trip was accomplished by pulling on our own resources, linguistically and financially, and with the legwork and sweat of my family in Italy, who I appreciate, adore and miss so much. I was really surprised how much Spanish and Italian I could muster when the pressure was on, but thank goodness I could because I was the official translator for this traveling team. |
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| Going to Europe Friday |
[Aug. 1st, 2005|01:11 pm] |
I may be crazy, but we're driving from Barcelona to Calabria and back in an 8 day span. I am going with my daughter and my friend Tony Perri, who doesn't drive. It's going to be stick shift of course and mapquest.com says it is about 16.5 hours each way, which is less than what I drove from Paris to Calabria (one way) in 1994. We are going to stop and see the ruins at Pompeii on the way back and stay with an online friend of mine in Rome. I don't know where in France we are staying on our way there yet, but we will get a hotel in Marseille or something, if worse comes to worse.
I can't wait to see the town in Spain where I grew up (haydennet.com/spain) for a few years and my family in Calabria, especially. It's been five long years since I went and it was 2001 right before 9-11 that my daughter went for a whole month. She flew by herself, which made me so nervous and which I would not have done during the heightened time after that.
I'm going to spend a few nights in Barcelona when I get back and hopefully be able to go out and enjoy the bear life a little, since I hear it is so happening there. My daughter will hopefully be able to entertain herself with high speed modem and international cable at my friends' apartment. I'll take lots of pictures and post them to my site of course. I'm going to miss my boyfriend Josh, but it's nice to know that he is watching my dog and his cat at my place while I'm gone. |
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| Trespass My Ass |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|05:30 pm] |
In my continuing series about paying my dues as the father of a girl in her teens, this installment fits quite well.
Earlier this week my daughter, who I know can be a big flirt with the boys, had her keys snatched from her bag at school and they were dangled in front of her by this boy named Anthony Culbreath. I had heard his name by some of the other teachers at the parent-teacher conferences as being bad news, particularly as a forthright troublemaker who would plot and plan with the students to shut off the lights and throw chairs around the room in the middle of the class session, for example. My daughter complained to her teacher that the keys were taken from her but the teacher was so tired of the antics between them that he dismissed it. My daughter did not advise me that her keys were stolen until much later, and I'll explain why.
After school I instruct my daughter to always contact me right away, especially after the incident that I documented with Thomas Little last year where he attacked her sexually and physically on the street and tried to break into our home. I had him prosecuted.
It's never a good sign when I can't reach my daughter on her cell or the house number for hours after she gets out of school during that latchkey period, but usually she is hanging out with her other 13-year old friend from another school. She had left my ex-wife, who I checked in with, a cryptic message as to her whereabouts, but that was unacceptable. Many times I’m so busy at work I can’t check up on my daughter, but I shouldn’t have to scramble to find her. What also concerned me was that her chat ID’s were not up, which meant her computer was probably turned off and not back on. Later I found out there was a boot problem.
So toward the end of a very long and hectic day at work with torrential rain outside, I called the house and heard from Max, my roommate, that when he got home there were 3 or 4 boys standing in our living room, apparently stunned by his presence. He noticed that his bedroom door was opened and when he walked outside of his bedroom after putting his bag down, the boys had dashed off (like pussies).
It is unclear how long the boys were in the damn house, but without hesitation I told Max to call the cops. While I was on my way home they apparently came over and questioned Alex and her friend who supposedly tried to get the boys out of the house. Anthony had led the boys in WITHOUT KNOCKING or ringing the doorbell, and I don’t think his motive was to get out of the rain. Nothing was stolen, but some items in the living room had been moved. From what I believe of my daughter’s story the boys had walked in when she was in the bathroom and my daughter’s friend, who is less familiar with the boys, ran to her to warn her that they were present. The police apparently suspected my daughter’s story, asking her if she was having a “party”.
I came home with the cynical attitude that the other two boys were definitely David and Shakeem, two boys she has been friends with and on and off interested in, to whatever extent. I suspected that they were the two other boys (we later realized the fourth boy was actually her female friend in the background) because my daughter said the three of them were on the phone after the incident and Shakeem and David were “begging” Anthony to go back and return the keys. Of course by this time I didn’t want the fucking keys because he could have made ten copies by then and he obviously does not understand boundaries if he just waltzed into my home.
The police asked us to follow up with the school the next day and I did. Before I went to bed that evening though I hired a locksmith at almost $100 to change the cylinder in the main lock in my front door. I also had to spend money on extra copies of the keys. I still got up a few times at night after hearing noises to make sure the house was secure, and I’m not one who is afraid of confrontation. Speaking of confrontation, I had Alex call both David and Shakeem. I knew they had called the house a thousand times before, so she had to know their numbers by heart. Each time I made her call in front of me and she tried to say, “My dad wants to know if you want to talk to him and tell him that you weren’t in the house.” Of course she was trying to cover up her lack of disclosure and lies to the police about not knowing definitively the identity of the other boys. I also didn’t like that there were supposedly “other boys” which may have included them, gathered outside the house, but Max said that there were no boys gathered outside when he got home, on either side of the street. That was another bald-faced lie Alexandra came up with to protect the boys. I considered questioning both girls separately but even my direct examination of them gave me enough evidence that something was amiss.
Both of the boys who did not steal the keys spoke to me and while they hedged a bit, I finally got the truth out of them. I then told them that their dickless friend, who has threatened to kill Alexandra if he goes to jail (how nice for someone who has a crush on her), is going to be in a lot more trouble than they are. I told them I would go a lot more easily on them not only because they did not steal the keys and because supposedly Anthony was the one who came into the building and into the front door by turning the key and not locking, but also because they were ultimately honest and had the decency to talk to me about what happened. I also told them that they can thank Alexandra for almost having them all land in jail because her lies were making the situation much worse than it was. I told David Turrene that I never liked him in particular because he was the boy who did nothing while Thomas Little attacked Alexandra last year. Shakeem Jennings had also threatened to fight with Alex at school during some of their breakups. My ex-wife and I had called his mother but I think he erased the messages on their answering machine before she got them or she didn't give a shit about her son's threats.
The final resolution is that I will agree not to press charges if Anthony pays me back the $100 I expended in replacing my lock. Apparently his parents have agreed to this and will supposedly get him counseling (probably too late from what I hear). I will send a letter to the school with the receipt saying that I won’t press charges if I am reimbursed soon. |
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| why can't kittens live forever? (not just about kittens) |
[May. 23rd, 2005|11:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
Did you ever see that T-shirt that says "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Please save the kittens!"
Well that's funny, as well as the 1,001 dead cat joke books out there, but my daughter brought over this little charmer of only a few weeks old last week and I was so ready to take him in. My roommate and his mother who visits are so allergic to cats I knew it could not happen, but I was so in love. This kitten had big blue eyes and a tan color I rarely see with some white spots. I only had to rub its belly once and it would purr as if it had known me for years and I was its provider. He had a lot of spunk and my dog (a Maltese) was very curious and gentle with him, letting him pass by and under him repeatedly, the kitten being oblivious of the otherwise potential danger the whole time. I guess it takes time to develop instincts of danger and learn that it's a big, bad, cruel world. I told my daughter that we could not keep the kitten, but she let me toy with the idea while he stayed with me at my desk in front of the computer for a few hours.
I know there were some family problems at the place where this cat was, a home where they have a full-grown cat and a dog. I intervened in one respect when I heard that this young girl was alone in a house with a mother in jail and an older brother who had recently moved out, who himself was estranged from the mother, the house was being foreclosed on, the mother had a boyfriend arrested for drugs last month, the extremely limited electricity in the home was courtesy of an extension from one of their upstairs tenants, there was no food in the house or money and the daughter had not heard from the mother nor had any idea when she would return. Even though this girl, together with my daughter, took $500 of my cash (not $300 as I originally believed) and spent it on clothes and shoes, none of which I was able to get back, I told my daughter to make sure she came into our home immediately while we figured out what to do.
It turns out that while the mother was in jail on alleged prostitution charges for advertising online for her massage business, she got into a fight with another woman and had to stay even a day longer. She had told the police that her 19 year old son was home (he works nights and lives in Manhattan with several roommates) with her FIFTEEN year old daughter (she's 13) in Brooklyn so no wonder ACS did not rush over.
While I still don't know what kind of punishment I will give as the ultimate payback for what this girl and my daughter did to the extent I even have any say over what the other girl does, I think I already obtained enough good karma to ascend directly to whatever kind of agnostic heaven awaits me because of my decisions in this matter, if I do say so myself. I haven't told the arrested mother what her daughter has done because I don't think she deserves to be beaten when she's this far down. I did what I did because I just can't imagine someone not helping my daughter, even if she had done something disgusting and underhanded, because she is, after all, still a kid.
So while things worked out and the mother came home after several days, a few nights hosting sleepovers was tolerable even though they were causing me a lack of privacy I otherwise usually have on the weekend. What was not something I could cope with well was the fact that this kitten, which I do not believe had been neglected in hindsight, DIED.
The bundle of energy that danced around my keyboard was extremely sick when my daughter and her friend returned to the house last Saturday to feed all of the animals. I had contacted one of my friends (who is here on livejournal) because I know she also loves cats. I was hoping she had some ideas of where to take this kitten (I did not know at the time there was a dog and cat in the house too) as there was no way of knowing when the household would return to normal. What I later found out was that by that time the mother and the brother were in the presence of the kitten, the kitten seemed to have been very sick, had vomited perhaps after having eaten something seriously harmful, although it was not left alone for more than 24 hours and had not been injured by anything. I know this was not willful neglect and I know it was a very sad ending to a very sad couple of days for the entire family, but it was like bad news on bad news for me - very bittersweet in light of the mother's return. I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kitten much and the truth is I am more of a dog person. I hope somehow that kitten knew that I was in awe of it during its short little life, though. I sure as hell wished I had taken some pictures. |
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| The teenage years are upon us (well, me, as a father this time)… |
[May. 13th, 2005|04:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  infuriated | ] |
Sadly I have to report that a few days after my daughter’s 13th birthday, at which she only wanted “cash” and received $600.00, which she promptly spent on clothes, I had given her my bank card to pick up $200 and some groceries as I had done on a few occasions. Because she had periodically bought herself junk food I now ask for receipts. She got back from the store pretty quickly that night and I took the wadded money and put it in my wallet with the card, presuming that the receipt had been rolled up in the cash.
The next day I had a moment at work to call the bank and ask where the hell my replacement bank card was because the one I had was falling apart. I thought I would be clever and said that the card was lost, so to please send me another one but then the woman on the phone gave me some bullshit about having to come in and fill out an affidavit. I said, “Well I can probably dig it up somewhere from around the house. When was I going to get a new card anyway?” She told me that the day before there had been a transaction on the card, and I said, “oh yes, I had my daughter get me some money.” Then she said there had actually been THREE transactions! I started to shake. She advised me that the total taken out of the bank the night before on three separate occasions was $500.00 (the daily maximum, which, despite claims, I don’t think is a coincidence). Unbeknownst to me the bank stopped my card from working, even though I didn't specifically ask for that to happen and even though I should have been told.
Now I have been working two jobs for a few months, including one on the weekends that takes many long hours on both Saturday and Sunday, so I have a long seven-day week. This is a tough time in my life financially where I am trying to reorganize my debt and get back on my feet and maybe have some opportunities for pleasure travel again, not to mention a desperate longing to see my family in Italy (with my daughter) after five LONG years. I don't know how my daughter thought she could get away with it, but I'm just glad I caught it in one day and not at the end of the month. She is lucky I was able to pay our rent!
After I got off the phone with the bank, I tried to call my daughter at school, although the school day was not yet quite over. Sometimes she’s able to answer her phone but she did not. I called my ex-wife and told her what had happened and she almost fell on the floor in shock. She was wonderful throughout this whole ordeal and she realizes it could have just as easily been her. She immediately offered to go to Alexandra’s school at 3pm during the work day and pick her up. She did so and brought her back to her job and confronted her. I managed to get a text message to Alexandra before the end of the school day saying not to leave the school as her mother was picking her up. She messaged me back with an innocent question, “Is anything wrong?” I did not respond.
I chewed Alexandra out on the phone and scared her, I hope, before the work day was through. I met them after work in the subway station as Michelle had a work function that was going well into the evening. I escorted Alex by the arm into the train where in front of the rush hour crowds I told her the various penal codes she had broken. She had very little to say. My roommate, who had been a drug user in his past life and lived on the streets before getting sober almost 7 years ago was very disappointed in Alexandra as well, as he is like family. He couldn’t believe her and her best friend who I will call “Alice” would do such a thing either, especially knowing everything I've done for Alice, who many of my friends call my second daughter. He repeatedly asked Alexandra if he had to worry about locking his room in the future to embarrass her but he also spoke to her about what a wrong road she could be heading down if she did not see the seriousness of this situation and what his parents would have done with him at the police precinct had he done something similar.
I continued to confront Alexandra and I had Alice and Alex attempt to return the three pairs of shoes, which will not be worn by them EVER, of course. They were not returnable apparently to the extent they even had the receipts, which I was not surprised at. Who knows if they tried their best to get a refund or went to the stores at all. I think one store was willing to give them store credit. I could have gone down there and embarrassed them further as my good friend suggested demanding reimbursement from the stores who took the cash for three shoes from two little girls. I was too livid to go “lawyer” on them, tjhough. I was in no mood, nor am I still, to look Alice in the eyes. I really have no authority over her except as a victim who could report a crime. I also feel like I’ve been inconvenienced enough and would probably take out my frustration on the retailers.
I took away all of Alexandra’s privileges pretty much and have no intention of letting her slip back into watching TV, having full computer access (I do chat with her each afternoon after she returns to the house). She also will not be seeing Alice for the foreseeable future. Fortunately my mother’s visit for three weeks coincided with this, so my mother can keep a close eye on my daughter in the evenings when I am able to assert the only independence I have, as I don’t even have my weekends to myself anymore these days.
I have not told Alice's single-parent mother about the conspiracy and theft yet because her mother is going through a crisis already with the foreclosure of her house, a loss of two consecutive jobs (the first of which was 19 years) and a cocaine overdose and hospitalization this past week. I think the last thing she needs to hear is this.
In the process of having Alexandra re-do her life in light of her major mistake, I tore through her room and made her clean every crumb, as well as revamp the entire house (she did bust her ass probably because she felt so guilty) before my mother's visit from California. In that process I found a unopened condom in her room and confronted her about that as well. I was subsequently emailed by her "boyfriend" explaining they were not having sex, but who knows. I don't trust her for shit now.
I am thinking about having the girls do some impromptu community service for the woman's shelter across the street or maybe at the homeless shelter I work at weekly. At the very least I want to have them work a stoop sale to sell a bunch of my old shit to try to make me back some of the money they lost while I am at work on a Saturday, since they don't seem to understand that my working seven days a week is not so that they can go around in designer shoes while I walk around in rags. |
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| I'm just a flirtatious bear.... |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|06:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
Yesterday I came to the security office of my weekend job during lunch to get my photo ID made. The guy I had to report to was this really cute cub with a full beard, black skin and shaved head. I was wearing an old leather jacket and a flannel shirt underneath, but apparently it wasn't too visible down my neckline because I had a few buttons undone (after all, I AM Italian). He inspected me right before taking the picture and asked if I was wearing anything underneath my jacket! He came up pretty close to me to observe better and then said, "oh, that's all chest hair!" Before I could respond "of course I'm wearing something underneath.
He stepped over to the computer, cracked a few jokes and made sure I liked the picture he had taken then commenting, "you like one of those wrestlers." I responded, "That's the point!" How nice of him to notice. I'll try to post my mug shot so you can see why he said that, but suffice to say I felt a little quiver at his attention, even though it was in front of 3 or 4 other guys, who were obviously heterosexually oblivious.
Later that afternoon I was at one of my non-profit networking clients, which is very gay friendly. I had always noticed the shaved head bearded guy checking me out (notice a pattern here?) and today was the day his computer went south. I was prepared to be there for hours as I knew I would have to rebuild his station from scratch. Unfortunately most of that time he spent in the other room working on non-computer things, but I had to ask him several questions conveniently throughout my visit. While at his computer waiting for things to load up I noticed that he had many religious sayings on his wall, including pictures of a cat, him at a podium and another minister on the podium with a rainbow flag pattern scarf draped over his robe. I recognized this other guy in the picture as an older bear who founded Metropolitan Community Church and who was at the event I documented at www.haydennet.com/mmow. I wanted to remain professional despite my confirmation and temptation to make a pass at this guy. I did overhear him lament to a co-worker about how his other half "Chris" never wanted to go out at night since they were happy at home together and with their cat.
Wouldn't you know it, but one by one all of his co-workers left the office and it was just him and me? As I finished my work and was getting prepared to leave, I asked him if that minister was the guy at MMOW and he said indeed it was. I asked if he was involved with MCC in NY and he said that he left it for political reasons several years ago. I asked him if he knew a friend of mine who has been active in MCC and he did recognize the name. He then said, "Do you know him through the BEARS?" at which point I realized it wasn't just my imagination that this guy was checking me out and he knew I was a bear the moment he had seen me months ago. We talked about some of the people we knew in common and I bid him a good night, but it was nice to be outed to someone who appreciates who I am. Sorry that this story did not end in a tawdry mess on the floor of the office, but not every revelatory encounter can go that well.
Now to see about that security guard.... |
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| I'll never Read TIME again |
[Dec. 19th, 2004|06:57 pm] |
I am truly disgusted. Time Magazine made Dumbya Man of the Year? I say we boycott this clearly partisan magazine and don't let another conservative or fundy ever tell me that the "liberal media" is controlling this country.
Even if there was a "comeback" of a mediocre president against the most liberal (read=progressive) senator, that should not be accredited to the intellectual vacuum that is this administration's leader. I can only imagine what kind of "political capital" Dumbya is going to milk this for. |
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| Very flattering art work of me |
[Dec. 2nd, 2004|10:17 am] |
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See my web site for an artistic depiction of yours truly by someone who I don't believe I've even communicated with before. What a nice thing for someone to do. If you click on the main page depiction at www.haydennet.com you will see what two other people have honored me with as well. |
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| I didn't know I could play the harp! |
[Dec. 2nd, 2004|10:04 am] |
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Last night I was helping my friends in Dyker Heights, Brooklyn restore their computer to full optimization and after dinner and coffee, one of them, a musician of many years, played me some beautiful songs on one of his harps, including one of my favorite French songs, Autumn Leaves. I then realized after looking at the instrument that the red strings MUST be C, so having experience playing piano by ear, I picked at it a little and I was able to play MANY of the songs I have memorized on an instrument I never dared to touch before. It was quite an empowering experience. Kevin took some pictures of it, which I hope to put on my web site soon. |
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| Time to Plan a Move to Europe |
[Nov. 3rd, 2004|02:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
I've been telling all my buddies, "you'd better sleep with me soon; I'm going to move to France in a few years." I'd leave now instead of in six years or so when my daughter reaches majority, but I would be forced into heavy litigation to be able to bring her.
What are women going to do when a Bush court strikes down Roe? What are parents going to do when there is no end in sight to the death in Iraq and their sons and daughters are asked to die? Is it a coincidence that oil prices are at an all-time high? I'm so glad I don't own a car.
Mr. fiscal responsibility is going to borrow more to pay for the quagmire he got us into. Wait until the stupid 51% of Americans see what this asswipe has in store for the next unrestrained 4 years. We're going to wish for the days of status quo.
I'm preparing myself to move to a progressive country where my contribution will be appreciated. I am studying French, Spanish and Italian better than I already know them and intend to live in the EU as I am eligible for citizenship. I just don't think that there is going to be anyone or anything compelling enough to keep me here in the United States, especially since most of my family lives in Italy anyway and I will lobby my daughter to join me.
To those who voted for Bush, especially you gay folk who voted against your own interest: I hope you enjoy your own demise with this guy. You really had to dig to come up with some reasons for him to sound sane, but the truth is everyone who fell for his rhetoric is an ignorant, selfish crony. |
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| Personal Political Confrontation |
[Oct. 31st, 2004|09:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
I was minding my business early last week walking down 42nd Street to meet a friend in Bryant Park for a coffee, as we often do, to talk about boys. I have been adorning my "W" with a slash through it button, but to try to stay positive, I also had a "Kerry-Edwards" button on because I wanted to make sure I was not just a Negative Nancy, and because I really do want these lawyers to win. I think there is a lot of ignorance among many candidates who do not know the law and the country is often better off with presidents who have a legal education.
What I did not know was that I was being accosted by someone who impressed me as probably being homeless because of my "right-wing" politics! Everything is relative I guess.
I heard a boisterous voice calling out asking where I was from and what my ethnicity was, and if I was Spanish. Not realizing it was me at first, this disheveled man came astride and faced me because he really wanted a confrontation. I went lawyer and New York on his ass and asked him what the fuck he wanted and before I would answer any of his questions I told him number one that I was insulted that he would allow his putrid cigarette smoke to billow into my face, which I think he was further surprised by. I told him he did not know what the fuck he was talking about as I was not endorsing anyone conservative and I asked him if he was even registered to vote, as I wasn't sure if a person who lives in a box could be registered or if he had updated his registration in time.
He vehemently told me he had registered "right in Al Sharpton's office" and then I realized some of his convoluted logic that he was trying to tell me that voting for Kerry was against my interest if I was Latino (which I am not) because I would be a person of color. The smoking disheveled homeless man is Black. He was probably asking if I was from Florida and therefore a Cuban who would be more likely to be Republican. I told him he really was behind the ball if he thought Al Sharpton had a snowball's chance in hell when he wasn't even a candidate and Al Sharpton himself is campaigning for Kerry.
I saw him a few minutes later shouting political garbage at the top of his lungs in the park but I think he knew better than to fuck with me anymore. |
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| Gay Friendly Commercial |
[Oct. 31st, 2004|07:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | impressed | ] |
If you don't look carefully you'll miss it. The whoring Catherine Zeta-Jones T-mobile commercial (which happens to be the company that I use and which gives me zero reception at home) stresses "couples" who call each other a lot. They talk for free with their phone plans. There is one tall man who walks into the bathroom with another man shaving his face and he simply says "You!" as do all the other hetero couples when they stress out over how their cell phone bills were so big because of the intra-family calls. While one could easily dismiss this as a father-son "scene" Zeta says "couples can now talk free" moments later. So I guess Sprint is not the only phone company with a liberal leaning. |
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| Halloween Party was a Smash |
[Oct. 31st, 2004|02:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Big hit! www.haydennet.com/2004/oct |
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| Brainstorm: Why don't we homos make ourselves more self-hating!? |
[Oct. 23rd, 2004|11:03 am] |
There's nothing else better to do with our time, right? If gay men do not want to have heterosexist ideals of relationships, I think we should make more rules for how we should live to try to appease the straight folks who are closer to the fundamentalist religious end of the spectrum.
The law of kinetics says that things that are in motion tend to stay in motion and things that are idle tend to remain idle. With gay male relationships I have found this to be the case in so many instances. Men who have lovers (and I have had a few but have been single for years now), tend to jump from man to man without any breaks and the rest of us who won't settle for just anyone just remain single and stigmatized for being such.
I do not respect men who jump from man to man, as I would not respect myself for doing that. Not to mention I don't want my daughter to see me "in love" with a plethora of men. Perhaps I'm more conservative with the terminology I use for "boyfriend" and "lover" because I don't want to encourage her to just give her heart to just anyone. That doesn't mean I am not very social and that I don't spend time with friends and casual relationships. The vast majority of the men I have met she is not privy to because of our schedules and my discretion in which men I let her meet.
I think some guys who meet her right away might get the wrong impression as to how many men I meet get that chance. I don't think it's harmful for her to meet someone on a social basis even if it is one time. Whether or not I am intimate with him often times she might suspect I will be. Sometimes that is the case and sometimes it is not. As a parent setting an example by maintaining my dignity is all I can do. |
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| Got a new job! |
[Oct. 22nd, 2004|11:38 am] |
After giving two weeks notice to the place where I have been consulting for 2.5 years, on November 8, I will be starting a new job as a full time network engineer. The new company I will be working for is: www.jcainc.com
This is a not-for-profit development company (meaning they are FOR profit but their clientele is almost exclusively made up of companies that are not-for-profit). They specialize in database programming/migration for 501c3 companies that need to track their donations. I will be working in the area of network services, which is ancillary to their database development group, but important as these organizations, which include religious, gay activist and educational entities, usually have no internal IT staff. I will be going from client to client throughout my days, usually one a day, to troubleshoot, upgrade, maintain and build their servers and workstations. I am sure I will learn a lot and be very appreciated, as my future colleague has told me he is by his clients. I will sometimes be able to work remotely and from home.
Part of my "sell" to JCA, after checking out their web site with the list of their clients, was that I had volunteered for a not-for-profit gay parenting organization for over five years (FamilyPride.org), and even acted as an informal liaison with one of the gay organizational clients of JCA called GLSEN since my high school principal was on the board of THAT organization. I also mentioned that I have an interest in French as I noticed Alliance Francaise was one of their clients. I have been going to the Gaycenter.org's courses on Italian, Spanish and French to improve my language skills for $5/session.
Some of you are probably wondering, "I thought Joe was a lawyer." Yes, I got my law degree in 1997 after going for four years at night, but I had always had an interest in and continued to earn my living in information technology, even when I was working for law firms on varying sizes.
While I still may take the bar exam and practice some day, it probably would not be until at least February 2006 as this year I am going to concentrate on honing my technical skills and taking at least one class in Microsoft certification in the Spring, which will garner me a quick raise. My friend who works at NYU can get me into that class for free, as well as some database classes (probably Oracle and SQL). Had a job not come through, I probably would have buckled down for the bar exam in February 2005.
I had not been earning what I had wanted nor did I have benefits, but I will be slightly better off with this job. I was just appreciative that even though I was broke the last few years since just before 9/11, at least I had SOME income.
Please do not neglect to vote. |
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| Education is the Ultimate Solution, right Bush? |
[Oct. 15th, 2004|01:25 am] |
Thursday night Bush harped on how unemployment can be magically cured in an instant with EDUCATION that is better and makes us more competitive. That's also his purported way to fight jobs being exported.
I find this very insulting. I am a highly-educated person who did what I was told and got good grades in college and went on to pursue a doctorate degree. I AM STRUGGLING LIKE HELL. Granted, it is not Bush's fault that I am a single custodial parent with no child support (because I'm a man), but there are things that a president can and should do to encourage the economy.
Spewing rhetoric about how undereducated Americans are (which should include himself since he barely eked his way through a school that his daddy put him in) is not going to fix things.
Ignorance is bliss and a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Well, this is a dangerous man. |
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| Some Cheneys bitch..... |
[Oct. 15th, 2004|01:20 am] |
...and some don't. How strange that Liz Cheney and her mother are so upset at Kerry mentioning Mary Cheney's being a lesbian at Thursday's debate. Was this a secret?! They must be very desperate to find something wrong with Kerry, or maybe the truth is that they are ASHAMED of their close relative more than they should be. Why am I channeling Newt Gingrich and his "only" HALF-sister?
Dick Cheney thanked Edwards for the kind things he said about his family during the VP debate and they found common ground on not supporting a Constitutional amendment to disallow gay marriage, but when Kerry was asked about gay people Thursday night at the debates, suddenly Liz (the str8 daughter) and her mother are speaking for their sister and husband saying what Kerry did was "offensive". I do not see why and I do not see what the big deal is, unless you bear in mind that Mrs. Cheney tried to deny her daughter was a lesbian much of the time four years ago.
Today on CNN's show with Paula Zahn, Liz Cheney tried to insinuate that Mary was personally offended but she would not and could not speak for her sister to say that Mary herself was actually offended. Liz could not articulate what was offensive about the statement either, but just agreed with her mother that Mary was used as a political tool. Sounds to me like the incumbent camp is feeling pressure and is worried about losing it's hold. I guess all that fantasizing about how the world is is coming to a fore.
Don't forget, Mary Cheney and her girlfriend weren't welcomed onto the stage after Cheney's speech at the RNC. I think their mullets would have detracted from the wholesomeness that Liz Cheney's family was trying to espouse and then the Repubs further botched the story by saying Mary did not want to go on stage afterwards. Does one think that maybe she refused to go without her partner if she had been given an ultimatum? Mary and the woman who was obviously her partner had been sitting in the same part of the audience as the rest of the family during the Cheney speech at the RNC and they were included when the camera panned by. As I believe I blogged at the time, her girlfriend was not really included on the camera angle I saw, but she was there.
I guess the Cheneys want it both ways. |
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