Current mood:	confused
Current music:	hungry like the wolf - duran duran

being a grown up is hard work.
so it's that time of year again - open enrollment for the benefits program at work.

While there are several plans to choose from, only two would be benficial for me. the one I am currently enrolled in and Kaiser. I've sworn forever that as long as I have a choice in the matter, I will never ever choose Kaiser. My family had Kaiser when I was younger, and while I never had any horrid experiences with Kaiser, I can't over look that fact that the staff at one of their local hospitals nearly killed my brother. I also have trouble over looking that fact the Kaiser doctor's overlooked several lumps on my bosses thyroid that later turned out to be cancer.

However, my insurance company has so far denied benefit coverages of my bi-polar disorder, deeming it a pre-existing condition. And despite the fact that I have done okay this past six months not being medicated and without therepy, I know that I could fall into a major depression or swing into mania at any given time. I'm wanting some kind of assurance that I'll have coverage, so I am considering a switch to Kaiser.

Far the most part, Kaiser is a better choice for me financially. While both insurance plans would cost me the same, Kaiser has no annual deductible. My current insurance company has a $300 annual deductible. Kaiser's co pays are less expensive than my current insurance company's as well. Not only that, I have yet to find anything about pre-existing conditions in the literature about Kaiser.

So what's holding me back from making the switch? Okay, I knwo this may sound strange, but I can't help thinking that Kaiser insurance is a jinx for me. Several years ago, I had a job which provided Kaiser insurance after 120 days. I was terminated from that job two months after getting the insurance. Fast forward two years to Beamer deciding the switch to Kaiser at open enrollment. Two months later... yeah. I'm sure you can figure out the end of that statement. I can't help feeling that those terminations were some kind of omen saying 'stay far far away from the ev0l that is Kaiser Permanente', because I can assure you that neither of those terminations were the result of me doing any huge bad wrong thing. One job decided I was too controversial - some parents of the children in my class were afraid I was teaching their children witchcraft.::eyeroll:: The other termination was the result of my new supervisor being afraid I would hex her, or something. Total aside, but I wish to god I could prove it was my religion that got me fired.

Alas, you see my quanrdy. Making the change in insurances would benefit me financially. However, it's entirely possible the PTB have been trying to tell me Kaiser Permanente is akin to the Big Bad for me. I'm not exactly sure how to get over the trepidation, and just take the plunge.

I need guidance, oh wise and benevolant friends list. Please hold my hand and tell me I am being silly. Or slap my face and tell me that I am crazy to ignore the fates! Anything! just impart your wisdom upon me.