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[Sep. 15th, 2008|08:57 am] |
Congratulations to Jace and Becka!
Sorry on the late response.
If you two decide to have 3 more here's what I would like to see. =)
If you have three friends looking to pop out babies then that works too xD |
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| hidden messages.. |
[Sep. 2nd, 2008|12:29 am] |
sometimes you just cant sleep. no matter how hard you try. despite the things you did during the day. despite how tired you are. despite whatever you have to wake up for in the morning. sometimes its just easier to accept it. you're not going to be sleeping for a while.
as i sit here on my bed writing this. with a glass of water to my side. i can't help but get lost in the silence. the only sound available to me is the delicate hum of my laptop. if i focus hard enough i can make out the crickets outside. but in this silence, i tend to get lost in my thoughts. my thoughts are usually of life. mostly of the past. my actions and decisions. how did i end up who i am. and yet why am i not satisfied.
the questions i want answers to. and the answers ill never know.
i can understand now why those who succeed only think of think of the future. because everyone else is stuck in the past. although the past is set in stone and the future is never clear. those who take the risk are the ones who deserve the reward. then there are those who hide in the safety of the past. keeping to their traditions and customs, unaware of the ever changing world. this is why generations die out. but then there are those who attempt to persevere by applying their old beliefs to the new era. they will only last as long as society allows them to. once they run out of their usefulness, they are expendable like the others. but everyone is afraid. afraid of the uncertain. afraid of the consequences to these risks. but theres nothing we can do. if we want to improve we have to roll the dice. whether we get lucky and succeed or fail miserably. we roll and we roll again and again until we get it right. the key is. to never give up.
giving up is only just an easy way out. as attractive as that apple is. a snake is always behind it. that snake is called regret, guilt or simply just a conscience. its hard to let go of the apple once its picked from the tree of life. as there are always more apples to pick whenever you get hungry. deciding what to eat is not always an easy choice. there are always three choices: the favorite dish, the hated dish, or the new dish. the favorite dish is always the safe choice and will always fill you up. the hated dish will never be chosen but may be preferred by others. and finally the new dish where anything can happen. we eat many times a day. but only those who choose the new dish will never have to worry about going hungry.
take what you will from my insomniac rantings. be it a simple thought on life to simply feeling hungry. but i can assure you i choose my words carefully for a reason. |
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| in flux |
[Aug. 7th, 2008|09:27 am] |
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my plan is going well. 5 months ago i planned to be bored of video games when school started. it is now 3 weeks from school and my motivation to play video games is not very high. without the distraction of video games i can focus more on school work. my other problem is that i have no motivation t continue my current major. i am looking into changing to a different focus in the art major. next step, discover self discipline. or get some ritalin. |
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| Happy Belated Birthday To Me |
[Jul. 22nd, 2008|10:29 pm] |
As the years pass by, the people gradually disappear. One day there will be none. And I guess i will have to grow to accept that. This post may be selfish, but I think i at least deserve that much. I was honestly surprised by how few actually remembered. How few actually cared. But I guess i shouldn't be surprised. I haven't been the best of persons I could have been. I'll just have to get used to it. Thanks to those who did remember. It's much appreciated.
Back to -turtle mode- |
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| In regards to my previous entry... |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|01:46 am] |
FUCK ANSWERS!
I GOTS MY NEW COMPUTER!
should keep me distracted for a while. |
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| Fuck.... |
[Jul. 8th, 2008|11:39 pm] |
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I need answers...Where do i find them? |
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| my head is messy |
[Jun. 25th, 2008|01:50 am] |
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im conceited and i know it. i can't help it. its who i am, its how ive been able to keep my sanity til now. thinking the world revolves around me yet i dont care about the world. or maybe its that i care too much. i used to be seen as the indifferent one. the one who never stood out much. most of that still hasnt changed. unfeeling and unemotional is how i lived. death, violence, crime, drugs, politics, and culture itself. none of that matter. none of that concerned me. ive become immune to it all. ive desensitized myself to it all. it was a carefree life. a carefree but lonely life. without caring about anything you have nothing interesting to say. every word that comes out of your mouth either has no meaning or is just another lie to further deceive others. you lie about how you feel. you lie about what you think. you are afraid to let others in. you are afraid of getting hurt. taking that risk is scary to you. but you dont want to be alone. you want to find someone who understands you. someone who will accept you for who you are. someone who isnt going to try to change you, but bring out who you really are. simply put you just want someone who you can talk to. after all, isnt that what we really look for in love? its not about sex or looks or what you have in common. its not about money or what job they have. its not about getting along or playing around all the time. its not about impressing your friends and family or having someone to show off. love is finding that soul mate that you can tell anything to and not feel bad saying it. someone you can truly be sincere too and someone you truly care about. you cling to their every word as if it were life itself. you pay attention and ask for nothing more in return. all you need is their acceptance and their love and thats all that really matters. its not about what others think. if you cared about that then theres no future to your relationship. its YOUR relationship. fix it on your own. no one else can do it for you. love means that you treat each other as equals. but who am i to say all this. i cant say i have been successful in love. take what you will from my words. what began as a simple jotting down of thoughts into a preaching of love. |
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[May. 5th, 2008|07:42 pm] |
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Marvel Superhero Personality Test
created with QuizFarm.com |
| You scored as Iron Man/Tony Stark You are a visionary, savvy, successful, respected and somewhat famous.
Iron Man/Tony Stark |
| 100% | Mister Fantastic/Reed Richards |
| 100% | Nick Fury |
| 100% | Thor/Thor Odinson/Donald Blake |
| 92% | Iron Fist/Daniel Rand |
| 92% | Doctor Strange/Stephen Strange |
| 83% | Multiple Man/ James Madrox |
| 75% | The Punisher/Frank Castle |
| 75% | Daredevil/Matt Murdock |
| 75% | Gambit/Remy LeBeau |
| 75% | Silver Surfer/Norrin Radd |
| 75% | The Hulk/Bruce Banner |
| 67% | Professor X/ Charles Xavier |
| 50% | Deadpool/Wade Wilson |
| 50% | Wolverine/James "Logan" Howlett |
| 50% | Human Torch/Johnny Storm |
| 50% | Power Man/Luke Cage |
| 42% | The Sentry/Robert Reynolds |
| 42% | Spider-Man/Peter Parker |
| 42% | Captain America/Steve Rogers |
| 42% | Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes |
| 33% | Ghost Rider/Johnny Blaze |
| 33% | Cyclops/Scott Summers |
| 33% | The Thing/Ben Grimm |
| 17% |
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| Movies You Need To Watch |
[May. 3rd, 2008|12:14 am] |
Iron Man. Need I say more?
The Forbidden Kingdom. Jet Li VS Jackie Chan. Finally an answer to that age old question. |
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| Pepper Project Finished! |
[Feb. 29th, 2008|12:41 am] |
So I ended up scrapping the first idea about a week ago. good and bad move. But a necessary move. I tihnk this one turned out better than the previous would have. The background would have been better but my brain is just too tired to create anything special.
( Read more... )
Took me about 20 hours over the last week. Hope you all enjoy. |
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| damnit im it! |
[Feb. 16th, 2008|12:23 am] |
A. List ten habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
B. Tag ten people to do the same.
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it."
1. i've uncovered a new found discipline that gives you concentration +10, mentality +10, and agility +10, but has a side effect of vitality -30.
2. i sometimes bite the nails on my left hand while my right is drawing.
3. if i get woken up in the middle of the night i wont be able to sleep well afterwards.
4. i am the official asian for the radio show "The G Spot"
5. i have an uncanny ability of being 95% correct, except on exams.
6. i can tell how much somebody is going to tip on first sight.
7. i want a +10 2 hand spear lvl 10, mostly cuz it glows blue.
8. me being ridiculously tired is the equivalent to me being drunk.
9. i have a razor sharp halo above my head that must never never never be stolen or it will give me explosive diarrhea, except mine is purple XP
10. i fell asleep while at the dentists' one time and bit her finger.
i tag you. |
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| Pepper Project |
[Feb. 13th, 2008|02:51 pm] |
So i am going to be participating in the Pepper Project. I don't have much time since the deadline is March 1st and i am starting late. I have found reference images of poses i may be using and sketched them out. I have come up with an idea for my piece and it is based on the title "Pepper Descent". It is pretty much an image of Pepper in the air, presumably falling or in a state of weightlessness. My current ideas are pepper as an angel falling from heaven, pepper swimming underwater, pepper jumping during combat(sketch 1 only), and pepper's descent into darkness(sketch 2 only).
( sketches R-rated )
ideas, comments, suggestions please. Also i need ideas for outfits. I'm looking for something similar to the ones that exist yet different. The outfit also depends on the selected topic. Here are the ones that currently exist. |
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| Wow i got banned. |
[Feb. 10th, 2008|12:57 pm] |
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found out last night that i got banned from rappelz. well not completely just from one server. no warning or nothing. oh well. i guess i shoulda saw this coming. 401 pks in 3 days will anger somebody. XD |
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| Finally done.. well maybe XD |
[Feb. 8th, 2008|11:52 pm] |
( comments please><a href= )
i may go back to this sometime in the future and make this into a realistic painting rather than an anime drawing. |
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| question to you all: lonely and rich or loved and poor? |
[Feb. 6th, 2008|12:51 am] |
So my department director died. He was found dead in his hotel room after not showing up for work. i can say this with a straight face. and i realized today, that i suppress my emotive side. like i don't really feel anything anymore. and yes things are becoming dull..like how food tastes...but because of this...i am much more focused on anything i do. its alot less thinking and more doing...i work faster, act quicker, and just don't look back. its like i got rid of ADD...i find myself more at a loss of words lately..well the correct words anyways..that or my vocabulary can be summed up in about 200 words. pretty much, i've just become completely boring, monotonous, and gray. i fear my artwork will end up reflecting that.
( updated drawing again )
almost done with the anime style. a little more clean up and i need to get down to details. after i deal with that i aim for realism..or rather i believe the correct term is naturalism. |
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[Feb. 3rd, 2008|11:40 am] |
So i got my palm read yesterday. and it says that that i'll be lonely and selfish and not give a fuck about anyone else. isn't that a lovely outlook on life?
( updated drawing )
i didn't get much time to work on it lately. almost done coloring and started doing a little bit of lineart clean up. |
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| its slowly coming back to me. |
[Jan. 29th, 2008|10:56 pm] |
main character from an awesome new anime i watched. This is Balsa from Seirei No Moribito. (Guardian of the Sacred Spirit) Anyways, She's a bodyguard in an ancient japanese world which coexists with another spiritual world. Go and watch her last adventure.
This is only a WIP.
Part 1 Sketching: Done
Part 2 Coloring: Half Done
Part 3 Blending:
Part 4 Detail:
Part 5 Finishing Touches:
Part 6 Background(optional): |
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| snow bunnies on the bunny slopes |
[Jan. 16th, 2008|10:02 pm] |
went snowboarding for the first time today. owwwww.....going back next week. =)
the remnants of yesteryear still linger above my head. bothersome but hopefully they'll pass.
off to go find my art skills again. i think thy're in the box under my bed. |
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[Jan. 1st, 2008|11:17 am] |
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lets hope this one turns out better than the last |
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[Dec. 17th, 2007|01:22 am] |
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and thus begins sickness day 5 |
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| i like that random "Freak" in there. |
[Nov. 20th, 2007|12:25 am] |
 Lets101 - Free Online Dating |
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| Triple Whammy |
[Oct. 27th, 2007|11:02 am] |
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( Child's Toy ) |
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banezero's journal
