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I met Sean on new year's 1999. I rang in the new millenium with him. We spent a lot of time working closely together on the Free Mumia Coalition happening in Portland then. And a lot of time hanging out in his basement studio watching his friends freestyle drunk over his beats. He and his friend Raymond drove me crazy at the time. I called them pigdogs, because they would be so jacked up about women. But they were always sweet and respectful to women they knew. I had actually decided not to talk to either Sean or Raymond when I moved to Philadelphia. Then Sean callled me and told me that Raymond had gotten arrested for robbery. Ray ended up doing 8 years. It was an honor to get to see Raymond grow and change, become the human being he always was and always meant to be. But I also saw how Sean grew and changed. Seeing Sean with Raymond made me know I loved Sean as a human being, despite all his faults. He was there for all 8 years. Though he was doing a million things out in the world, running his own business, having serious accidents, he was there for Ray. And when Raymond got out I've never seen another human being happier than I saw Sean when Raymond walked through that gate. Raymond said a couple of days ago that Sean couldn't help being a jerk, so he made up by being the best friend to those he loved. And it's true. He drove me crazy and we'd argue like cats and dogs. And at the end he'd say, "All right, Waleeders, I'll call you tomorrow." And I hated when he called me that. And I wish I had known it was going to be the last time I would be called that. And I wish I could hear it again. And I wish I didn't understand so well why Sean did what he did. And I wish we lived in a world where that wasn't a real everpresent option for people. And I know I haven't done Sean justice in this disjointed fractured words. I don't have any words left. None at all.
The night I met Sean and Raymond, New Years Eve 1999. The first but not the last time I saw Sean passed out on their dirty couch.
New Years Day 2000. Sean and me
Sean, Nadia and me. All of these are New Years Day pictures. The beginning of a friendship with Sean that would last 8 years on this planet, and longer in whatever comes after.
Sean and me in SF in 2004.
I never knew Bashir personally, but have heard about him for many years from Black Panther Party political prisoner Sundiata Acoli. Sundiata tells so many stories about Bashir, who was one of his closest comrades. In fact, Bashir is apparently the one who got Sundiata to work out regularly. Sundiata and I have both bonded on our dislike of the necessary exercise routine. Out here, it is something that you need to stay healthy -- inside, it is a necessity to your mental sanity. That's how I have always thought of Bashir, as a stabilizing force.
And now he has become part of the ancestors, part of a force to remind us to continue to push through when it is hard and difficult, when we think we can't go on anymore. I have Hasan's voice in my head constantly, telling me, "C'mon cousin [he always told everyone we were cousins], get up, you got work to do, ain't no time for playing." Though we wrote each other for years, I only got to meet Hasan one time, the day before his execution. He spent the visit keeping me strong, anchoring me in our history and making plans for the future, plans that included his execution, making sure folks carried on with the work. His last words were of struggle, of hope.
For all of the history I have studied, the political movements and the repression, struggles for liberation and backlash, I did not think they would kill Hasan Aug. 31, 2006. As we waited outside the prison protesting, I didn't think it would happen. Even as the minutes ticked by after the scheduled time and we heard nothing. It wasn't until his wife came out, her head bowed and shoulders wracked with tears that I realized how naive I had been all along, and how privileged I had been to believe there would be even an ounce of justice for this government, from this system.
The prison system killed Bashir as surely as they executed Hasan. If he had been on the outside, they could have found his cancer sooner, and they could have taken care of it. Or maybe he wouldn't have been exposed to the carcinogens that gave him cancer in the first place. But instead they took his life, after robbing him of thirty years. Thirty years for doing the right thing.
And there are so many more, so many hundreds of people in this country sitting in prison for 20, 25, 30, 35, 40 fucking years. For us. For me. And they're getting older. Sundiata is 71 years old. Mumia has never touched his granchildren's faces. Some of our political prisoners have resigned themselves to the fact; they believe they will die in prison. Just like Bashir.
And I know we are all dealing with so much out here, fighting on so many fronts, trying just not to lose ground every day. But I can't help but feel a pain and a weight that it is our responsibility to give them an answer. To be able to look them in the eye and say, "No. That will never happen. We will not allow it. We will break the walls with our bodies before we allow you to be taken from us."
I want to see Sundiata home. I want to see him sitting on a couch with his grandchildren climbing all over him with the smell of home cooking drifting in from the kitchen. I want them all home. Isn't 33 years enough? 40? 25? Must it be their lives as well? Is the only action left for us to mourn then?
And when they do come home, what kind of support do they get, what kind of welcome? Political Prisoner Ali Khalid Abdullah was released from prison after 20 years a couple of months ago. I can only imagine how hard it is. It is a celebration that this brotha came home, but now a whole new journey is starting for him. We have to make sure we are also giving the people who are released the support they need as well.
I'm just tired and heartsore. I am tired of losing people. I am tired of having people swept away. I know there are so many people doing so much good work, so many folks stretched to a breaking point. I know I could do more. I know we are at a loss as to what to do sometimes. I know we are overwhelmed. I know that I am tired. I just want to be able to look in the faces of all the political prisoners, of all hte people I know who are incarcerated and tell them, "Yes." For once, I just want to be able to say yes with confidence and conviction.
NATIONAL MINISTRY OF CULTURE
PO BOX 25332, NEWARK, NJ 07101
201-602-0780
September 2, 2008
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FREEDOM FIGHTER RETURNS TO JERSEY FOR FUNERAL
On Thursday, September 4th, funeral rites will take place for freedom fighter Basheer Hameed at Masjid Dar Ul Islam, 602-616 Salem Avenue, in Elizabeth. Services will begin at 9:30a.m.
RosettaYork’s boldest son was raised in Linden, New Jersey. In 1968, he joined the Black Panther Party while in Oakland, California inspired by the enormous revolutionary activities and upheavals of that incredible period. When he returned to New Jersey, he served as deputy chairman, helping to establish chapters and recruits throughout the overhype upsouth state. It was these organizing efforts that made him a target for the U.S. government COINTELPRO operations which did more to destroy the Black Liberation Movement than single force of that time.
“Growing up in Roselle, one of my best friend’s used to tell me about this big, tall brave uncle who was a Panther, who always had to live on the run because the police where always looking for him for as long as he knew,” explained Zayid Muhammad, the Party’s national minister of culture who has been an outspoken advocate for Black political prisoners for over 20 years.
“That uncle was Rosetta York’s courageous son, Basheer Hameed, whom we all come to know and love, a man of amazing strength and character, one of my supreme heros.”
In 1981, Hameed, along with his codefendant and Panther comrade Abdul Majid, were wrongly convicted for the murder of a Queens police officer, even though authorities had strong evidence that the actual killers were known drug runners. Hence they became known as the Queens 2. They were both sentenced to 25 years to life and have exhausted all of their appeals. Recently, Hameed became the subject of a campaign to receive proper medical care upon falling seriously ill. New York Governor Paterson ultimately authorized his proper hospitalization, only to find out he was afflicted with pancreatic cancer, a rare but fast-acting illness. He returned to the ancestors on August 30th, ironically the Black August birth anniversary of his Panther comrade, Fred Hampton…
http://www.commongroundrelief.org/gusta
as they said in update, the danger isn't done yet. it was 24 hours after katrina hit that the levees broke in new orleans, and as these reports show there are leakages in the levees.
ST. PAUL, MN—Democracy Now! host Amy Goodman was unlawfully arrested in downtown St. Paul, Minnesota at approximately 5 p.m. local time. Police violently manhandled Goodman, yanking her arm, as they arrested her. Video of her arrest can be seen here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYj
Goodman was arrested while attempting to free two Democracy Now! producers who were being unlawfuly detained. They are Sharif Abdel Kouddous and Nicole Salazar. Kouddous and Salazar were arrested while they carried out their journalistic duties in covering street demonstrations at the Republican National Convention. Goodman’s crime appears to have been defending her colleagues and the freedom of the press.
Ramsey County Sherrif Bob Fletcher told Democracy Now! that Kouddous and Salazar were being arrested on suspicion of rioting. They are currently being held at the Ramsey County jail in St. Paul.
Democracy Now! is calling on all journalists and concerned citizens to call the office of Mayor Chris Coleman and the Ramsey County Jail and demand the immediate release of Goodman, Kouddous and Salazar. These calls can be directed to: Chris Rider from Mayor Coleman’s office at 651-266-8535 and the Ramsey County Jail at 651-266-9350 (press extension 0).
Democracy Now! stands by Goodman, Kouddous and Salazar and condemns this action by Twin Cities law enforcement as a clear violation of the freedom of the press and the First Amenmdent rights of these journalists.
During the demonstration in which they were arrested law enforcement officers used pepper spray, rubber bullets, concussion grenades and excessive force. Several dozen others were also arrested during this action.
Amy Goodman is one of the most well-known and well-respected journalists in the United States. She has received journalism’s top honors for her reporting and has a distinguished reputation of bravery and courage. The arrest of Goodman, Kouddous and Salazar is a transparent attempt to intimidate journalists from the nation’s leading independent news outlet.
Democracy Now! is a nationally-syndicated public TV and radio program that airs on over 700 radio and TV stations across the US and the globe.
even if the levees hold which i know we are all hoping with our hearts they do, there is still so much work to do.
Friends,
For the past few days I have been glued to my computer and cell phone keep up on the developments around Hurricane Gustav and waiting to hear from loved ones who are evacuating. Over the past 24 hours I have moved through so many emotions and tried so hard to find ways to feel useful. It has been a struggle. This morning I feel more hopeful. Gustav has been downgraded to a category 2 storm and officials are saying that the levees on the west bank of New Orleans should hold (this is where the worst of the flooding had been expected, and the part of the city that was least damaged in Katrina). So, I have hope. On the other hand, the water has begun "lap" over the industrial canal which means the lower 9th may flood again. And if New Orleans is sparred it is possible that the much of the surrounding area could still get severe damage, including the homeland of the Houma Nation, who are still recovering from hurricane Rita. It is so hard to sit in this space of not knowing what will happen to the city I love, the homes for my friends, and the people of the Gulf Coast.
Also what is hopeful is that organizers in New Orleans are more prepared this time around. People have been able to stay more in touch and know where folks have evacuated to. INCITE, Critical Resistance and the Workers Center For Racial Justice were all able to put out calls for action or to make demands of authorities before the storm hits. I've included those postings below. And we as allies, activists, believers in social, racial and economic justice have also been able to tap into established networks and infrastructure to begin to respond days before landfall.
In this time while we are still waiting to see what will happen in the gulf coast, and what actions we will need to take, I urge folks to think about what they have to offer. Even if we do not get the "storm of the century" that was promised yesterday, the gulf coast, still reeling from Katrina and Rita will need our help. The process of getting folks home will be complicated and lengthy. Prisoners who were evacuated to Angola will need to be located and helped through a system that is bound to keep people incarcerated well beyond their release dates. Damage from wind and rain will need to be repaired in a city with few resources and a tapped budget. So, even before we know what exactly the needs will be and how organizations will be asking for support, I hope that we can all take a moment to think about what we have to give in terms or financial support, ability to travel to the area and volunteer, skills that can be used to help folks out (media connections, web design, legal help, networks to spread information through, etc). And please also stay informed, the situation is changing rapidly.
Feel free to be in touch with me if you have questions, want more information, or whatever. Feel free to forward this on if the resources below are useful.
So much love and solidarity,
DrewChristopher
Resources:
http://gustavsolidarity.org/category/fr
-- Volunteer, discuss, get updates: http://gustav08.ning.com/ (Please join us!)
-- Gustav info wiki (what I'm coordinating, fyi): http://gustavwiki.com/
-- Andy's blog post: http://tinyurl.com/6oqh8d
Media:
http://www.blackcommentator.com/288/288
this is where to get the news from a mainstream prospective, but also storm tracking: nola.com
Below are statements from INCITE, The worker's Center for Racial Justice and the Houma Nation
drewchristopherjoy@gmail.com
Incite! New Orleans Needs Your Help
http://brownfemipower.com/archives/2
brownfemipower August 30th, 2008
Please please PLEASE forward widely.
CLICK HERE TO DONATE
Dear INCITE! friends and supporters,
On the eve of the 3 year anniversary of the devastation wrought by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita and subsequent government criminal negligence and assaults on the low income people of color on the Gulf Coast, our sisters from INCITE! projects in New Orleans (including the local chapter, the Women's Health and Justice Initiative, and the New Orleans Women's Health Clinic) are bracing for the potential landfall of Hurricane Gustav, which is currently projected to hit the Louisiana coast on Monday or Tuesday at a category 4 or 5. Voluntary evacuation of New Orleans has already begun, and mandatory evacuation could be declared as early as today. INCITE! organizers in New Orleans have made over 700 phone calls to women of color and their families that make up the constituency of the New Orleans Women's Health Clinic, working to prepare and implement evacuation and safety plans.
Your assistance is urgently needed to help low-income women of color and their families evacuate safely if need be, stay safe for the duration of the evacuation, and return to the city as soon as possible so as not to fall prey to the pushout that has kept so many folks from being able to return to New Orleans since Katrina. Local organizers are using whatever resources and funds at their disposal to help women and their families evacuate, bond people being held in Orleans Parish Prison out, and support those who make the choice to stay in whatever way they can.
Your support is urgently needed: financial donations of any size are needed and would be greatly appreciated.
Donations online are preferred because we can more quickly send the funds to our folks in New Orleans.
You can send your donation to INCITE online by clicking the button below and putting "New Orleans" in the "Purpose" line:
CLICK HERE TO DONATE
Or you can write a check directly to WHJI and send it to:
PO Box 51325
New Orleans, LA 70151
This money will go directly to supporting the hundreds of low income women of color that are the constituency of the New Orleans Women's Health Clinic.
Once again, the particular vulnerability of low-income women of color and single female-headed households (including folks with disabilities, seniors, undocumented immigrant women, and incarcerated women) has been erased in the face of disaster and overlooked in the days leading up to the storm. With few resources, facing challenges and concerns for their families of their own, INCITE! New Orleans and WHJI have stepped in to fill the gap. Please send all your support, solidarity, sisterhood and strength their way, and join us in hoping for the safety and well-being of the people who are already suffering from Gustav in Cuba, Jamaica, and Haiti, and willing the storm to subside or veer off safely before it strikes the Gulf Coast.
We will keep you posted as things develop.
peace,
INCITE!
New Orleans Workers' Center for Racial Justice
Contact Saket Soni at 504-881-6610 or 773-550-9339
IMMIGRANT WORKERS GAIN KEY ASSURANCE FROM HOMELAND SECURITY;
NO CHECKPOINTS ALONG EVACUATION ROUTES FROM GUSTAV
Immigrant workers demanding a safe evacuation from the path of Hurricane Gustav received key assurances from the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) that no immigration enforcement actions or checkpoints would occur in the evacuation process or along evacuation routes. The New Orleans Workers' Center for Racial Justice gained the assurances for safe passage of immigrant workers just as mandatory evacuations began across the Gulf Coast. The exact agreement is below.
As Gustav approached, immigrant workers and their families feared evacuation due to anticipation over Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and U.S. Border Patrol checkpoints. Of the over 200 surveys of day laborers which the Workers' Center conducted as Hurricane Gustav approached, the fear of detention and deportation by DHS was identified as the single greatest obstacle to accessing humanitarian relief. "We want to take our families to safety. We should not have to face deportation as we escape from the storm" said Dennis Soriano, an organizer with the Congress of Day Laborers.
Hundreds of thousands of immigrant workers arrived in the Gulf Coast in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to assist in the reconstruction of New Orleans and other cities. However, even as they were contributing to the rebuilding efforts, they faced extraordinary abuse, including high levels of wage theft, police brutality and massive immigration raids.
"This agreement would be the first clear assurance of safety from the federal government to immigrant workers who came to the Gulf Coast in the aftermath of Katrina" said Saket Soni, Director of the Workers' Center. "It's a small victory on the path to a humane and just relief effort."
Despite these assurances, immigrant workers and their advocates expressed concern about the treatment immigrants would receive in the relief effort. "Once we have evacuated safely, will DHS come to the shelters?" asked Soriano; "When we are returning home to rebuild the city, will we face DHS checkpoints on our way back?"
"We hope that these public assurances from DHS will be the first step towards a Memorandum of Understanding that clearly establishes what we all know: there's no place for immigration enforcement in humanitarian relief" said Jennifer Rosenbaum, Counsel to the Workers' Center. Ms. Rosenbaum has represented hundreds of immigrant workers in post-Katrina New Orleans efforts.
Soni said immigrant workers would continue to fight for access to the relief. "Just like everyone else who was forced to leave, immigrant workers and their families want to stay safe in the shelters, and they want to come home to New Orleans and help rebuild their city."
The New Orleans Workers' Center for Racial Justice is a membership based organization that works with African-American and immigrant workers in the post-Katrina landscape.
###
AUGUST 31, 2008
DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY
OFFICE FOR CIVIL RIGHTS AND CIVIL LIBERTIES
Gustav
· All residents of the Gulf Coast region need to evacuate.
· There are no immigration enforcement operations, and there are no
immigration enforcement checkpoints associated with the evacuations.
· The Department of Homeland Security's top priorities in any emergency are life-saving and life-sustaining activities, preventing the loss of property to the extent possible, and assisting with a speedy recovery of the affected region.
Gustav
· Todos los residentes del la región de la Costa del Golfo deben evacuar.
· No hay operacions de inmigración, y no hay puntos de inmigración asociados con las evacuaciones.
· Las prioridades mas altas del Departamento de Seguridad Nacional (DHS por sus siglas en Ingles) en cualquier emergencia son las de salvar y sostener la vida, preevenir la pérdida de propiedad lo tanto posible, y asistir con la recuperación de la región afectada.
Message from the Principal Chief
Message from the Principal Chief
Brenda Dardar Robichaux
It's difficult to imagine that on the third anniversary of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, we are threatened with the possibility of being in the same position that we were three years ago. But please be assured we have learned many lessons, and we are better prepared than we were then.
We are all keeping a watchful eye on Gustav and are aware of the impact he could have on our communities. We would urge each and everyone of you in the threat zone to evacuate if you are able to on your own or contact your local officials immediately if you need assistance. We have reached out and are coordinating with the local offices of emergency preparedness in all of our communities to ensure that they are aware of your needs. We are four days from expected landfall and realize that Hurricane Gustav's track can change many times. Please continue to check the web site. We will do our best to keep you updated and provide you with information as thing progress.
I pray the Creator blesses us with strength and courage during these difficult times.
United Houma Nation Relief Fund
4400 Hwy. 1
Raceland, LA 70394
Office: (985) 537-8867
Fax: (985) 537-8812
Contacts: Charlene Soares, Administrative Assistant or Samantha Shaffstall, Program Manager
The purpose of the United Houma Nation Relief Office is to assist tribal citizens impacted by natural disasters and to assist in the coordination of the United Houma Nation disaster preparedness plans.
Your donations are tax deductible as the UHN has 501c3 status.
get in touch with critical resistance, or common ground relief, or any organization that will be doing the very hard work of rebuilding, once again.
friends...family...comrades...
>
> i know my journals have kind of fallen off...i haven't written you all
> in a while.
>
> and my reason for writing now is again, somewhat grim. hurricane
> gustav is expected to make landfall in a little over eight hours, just
> west of new orleans, through the native nation of houma. the
> government has ordered an evacuation, with the national guard stepping
> in to enforce it. 1.9 million people have apparently gotten out, while
> tens of thousands continue to be stuck on the highways out of town.
> 14,000 people without cars were taken out on buses and trains.
>
> FEMA says they have it all figured out, and are doing much better now:
> http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/01/washi
>
> If you listen to their accounts, all is running like a well-oiled
> machine, and things are as they should be. They omit the computerized
> 'ID bracelets' that failed dues to computer glitches on saturday, the
> hundreds of people left waiting for buses in jefferson parish, the
> hospitals that had to get help from the canadian airforce
> (http://canadianpress.google.com/articl
> because they had been forgotten by FEMA's evacuation plan....3
> hospitalized patients died during evacuation. 80 people have been
> killed by Gustav in several Caribbean countries. But no one was killed
> in Cuba, even though the hurricane went straight across the western
> part of the island - that country has evacuation down to an art (the US
> won't ask them for advice though, even after Katrina's precedent)
>
> And other big questions remain.
> Will the levees hold?
> "As the US Army Corps of Engineers and local authorities rushed to
> shore up levees on the vulnerable West Bank of New Orleans, which
> largely escaped Katrina’s punch, officials made no promises that
> up-armored levees would hold. Of particular concern is the Harvey Canal
> in Jefferson Parish, widely seen as a weak point in the system. In
> fact, only about one-third of the city’s $12 billion new levee system
> has been completed. With storm-surge projections of up to 20 feet and
> many levees at eight feet, overtopping seems likely if the storm holds
> its course."
>
> "Leading experts from the U.S. and the Netherlands say the [levee]
> system is riddled with flaws. They say that even a weaker storm than
> Katrina could breach the levees if it hit this season." - from an
> article in early august...
> http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2
>
> Where are they taking people, and what is the plan to get them back
> home? After forcing people to leave after Katrina, many were prevented
> from returning for 18 months, two years....far from the 'few days' they
> were promised
>
> What about the prisoners?
> The prison officials at Orleans Parish Prison, if you remember, simply
> left the prison during Katrina. Prisoners drowned in their cells, and
> were abandoned for days in cells filled with water.
> http://www.hrw.org/english/docs/200
> desperate call has been made by prisoner support groups in the region
> to contact the sheriff and make sure that prisoners are evacuated too:
> http://neworleans.indymedia.org/news/20
>
> And what about those who can't, or won't (hey - you might be reluctant,
> too, if it took you 18 months to get back home last time) evacuate?
> "Those who stay will encounter a skeleton crew of law-enforcement
> officers who will treat anybody on the street as a suspicious person,
> says Aaron Broussard, president of Jefferson Parish. The idea is to
> guarantee that property will be protected against looters – a main
> reason so many residents decided to ride out Katrina. 'If you stay,'
> Mr. Broussard warns, 'this will be no Mayberry.' 'We’ve learned from
> our mistakes,' says New Orleans Police Officer B. Francois. 'And this
> time, if we arrest someone, they’re not going to the local jail.
> They’re getting on a bus to Angola,' the infamous rural prison farm."
> http://features.csmonitor.com/break
>
> "Residents wonder whether by being vigilant -- or hysterical, depending
> on one's perspective -- officials are putting themselves in a position
> to be able to say 'I told you so' if anyone stays behind. This time
> around, Mayor Nagin and all disaster-response spokespeople are making
> it clear that if you stay behind and are stranded on your roof waving a
> flag made from a bedsheet, it is you who will be held accountable, not
> them. Many who are riding out the storm feel that's the motive behind
> Nagin's emphatic plea during a press conference Saturday for citizens
> to flee 'the mother of all storms,' and 'get their butts out of New
> Orleans.'" http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2
>
> The law-and-order model that caused so much pain after Katrina is going
> to be in force, and even more so, this time around.
>
> Again, as during Katrina, many of those unable to evacuate are elderly
> (according to a friend of mine in New Orleans now)
>
> I am in touch with Common Ground Relief, the group I worked with in
> 2005, formed after Katrina and still going strong. Some have evacuated
> to Hattiesburg, Mississippi, and some are hunkered down in New Orleans.
> If you want to help, or check for updates, check
> http://www.commongroundrelief.org/gusta
>
> You can follow the progress of the storm here:
> http://www.noaawatch.gov/2008/gustav.ph
This is a call to support the evacuation of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast in the wake of Hurricanes Gustav's potential landfall within the next several days. As many of you know, thousands of our people are presently evacuating the area. In the attempt to learn from preparedness shortcomings of Hurricane Katrina, a network of New Orleans activists, some whom have evacuated already and others whom are intent on staying are in the process of creating a support network which is in need of all our help.
How you can help (outside of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast):
1. Serve as a point of contact in your area for evacuees.
2. Help create safe and accessible relief networks and stations in your city/region. This is particularly going to be crucial for allies in Northern Louisiana, Jackson, and Memphis, where it appears most of the evacuees are going to be stationed. We hope to have identified the rest of the specific cities by this evening.
3. Serve as a media liaison for the support network and the forces staying in New Orleans.
If you or your organization can serve in one or more of these capacities please contact one of the following individuals and send your name, cell phone, land line, email address and relevant address information for relief stations.
Kali Akuno 510.593.3956 (please text if no answer if possible) or kaliakuno@gmail.com
Lydia 314-537-0537 (C) 770-559-1461 land line
Molly 510-847-6101 (C)
In Unity and Struggle,
Kali
I also did a really amazing benefit concert last Sunday Vida Para Todos, which was raising money for a community center in the Dominican Republic. I added some flix from it, but it was just cool, the audience gave hella love and support as a performer, and it was so nice to see folks there like Drew Slum and Shipwreck who I've known for years and years, and meet new folks like Popeye doing awesome community work.
Christian has been here visiting and thats been nice. I always feel like I never have enough time to spend with people in my life, always rushing from one thing to the next. But he's been really understanding about it, and helping out, even cleaning the house so I'm not super stressed when I get home, buying me sweet litlte gifts.
The APOC gathering here a couple weeks ago was so incredible! There were about 20 folks there and it was just great. I thought it was the most productive APOC thing I'd been too, and I'm so excited to continue working with folks and building from that.
And tonight I have a screening of my film as a remembrance for Hurricane Katrina at New Orleans Rising (see my previous post). I think it's going to be really good, they got some shorts from New Orleans TV Collective which are always amazing. It's so crazy to think that happened three years ago. It doesn't seem that long at all. And the work still continues in New Orleans, and across this country. Cuz we're all affected by the storm called America right Mos Def?
http://imagine2050.newcomm.org/2008/0
Film Review: No Blacks, Immigrants or Aliens Allowed
by Walidah Imarisha
I have probably seen John Sayles’ The Brother From Another Planet (1984) almost a dozen times. I first saw it when I was in high school, bored, flipping through our cable channels. I was skeptical at first, given the low budget special effects, but the film quickly sucked me in. Last year, when I taught a college course, my co-instructor and I put together a class called Race and Gender in Science Fiction Film. Through all my viewings, that was my first experience watching it with a large group of people and I fell in love with the film all over again. I fell in love with its uncompromising politics, its connections between people of color, and its biting wit.
The film follows an escaped alien slave, played by Joe Morton (who never gets a name in the film), who crash lands on Earth. But not only Earth, Harlem, baby! Morton’s character, who is black and mute, has to learn to navigate Harlem circa early 1980s, before gentrification and upwardly mobile white faces replaced all black, in the grips of drug epidemic, crushed under the weight of Reaganomics, shaped by the factors of benign and not so benign neglect.
Morton’s character also has to contend with two slave catchers on his trail for his planet, Men in Black, played by director Sayles and David Strathaim. Their intent is to recapture him and take him back. There’s a hilarious and touching scene when the Men in Black come looking for Morton at a bar he has hung out at, and all the black people there defend and protect him. They know he is strange, they don’t know exactly what he is running from, but they know he is lost, he is black, and he needs protection.
This scene of the community shows the beauty and humanity breathing underneath the layer of grim dumped on the ghetto. It’s an understanding that communities of color are places of strength and support, not just monstrous landscapes, as they’re portrayed in mainstream culture.
Brother is clearly a critique and comment both about the history of black folks in this country, and the realities of immigration. It’s also the film’s deft ability to show the connections and commonalities between the two that makes it a monumental film. When Morton’s character first crashes here, he lands in Ellis Island, now empty and derelict. One of his special powers is to be able to touch an object and sense the emotions, the history associated with it. Everywhere he touches in Ellis Island, we see him writhe in pain from the collective history there. We here the voices of immigrants crying, yelling, pleading in different languages. And we see Morton, voiceless (a powerful commentary on the state of black people and immigrants in this country), scream wordlessly as he falls to his knees with the historic pain of the American dream, a dream deferred.
The film is rife with humor, like the old black saying, “You gotta laugh to keep from crying.” In one scene, Morton’s character is riding the subway. A white card hustler comes up to him and asks if he wants to see a card trick, and takes him through a complicated set up. He asks if Morton wants to see another trick, “Want to see me make all the white people disappear?” The train stops at Columbia Circle, the stop right before Harlem, and the train empties of white faces. The white hustler looks back at him, winks, and says, “See? What’d I tell ya?” A deceptively simple and yet burning commentary on gentrification and red-lining - an old gentleman’s agreement between banks and real estate brokers to keep Black people and Latino immigrants from receiving loans to buy a house in white communities .
But for me, the most important aspect of this film is that we see the world through the eyes of the alien, the other. In most films, we’re looking at the outsider as foreign, strange, horrific, dangerous – which is much the same way our immigration policy goes today. When we speak of “Americans,” we are often using code words for white native born citizens. Anyone not of that category is foreign and alien. Brother flips it, shows us how truly nightmarish American society is from an outside perspective, especially in relationship to the experiences of people of color.
In the end of Brother From Another Planet, it is through the solidarity of the other runaway slaves, the immigrants and the refugees, in conjunction with the solidarity of the black community in Harlem, that Morton’s character achieves his freedom, defeats the Men in Black and begins to understand that though this place called Harlem is not his home, it can be a home for him, and that that, in the end, is enough.
Musicians for Music
Benefit show for Vida Para Todos (life for all)
August 24th, 2008 at 8pm
Someday lounge 125 NW 5th, PDX OR 97205
Music is the universal language. This night is about musicians playing music so that children have the opportunity to learn music themselves.
100 % of the cover charge (7$ at the door) goes directly to Vida Para Todos, a community center in the Dominican Republic that teaches art and music to impoverished youth. Evening kicks off around 8pm and will go well past 11. Performing bands are: Toiletooth, Drewslum with Soul or System, The Revisions, The Unified Theory, and an assortment of poets. It is a pleasure to collaborate with local musicians to support and empower our Dominican neighbors.
In an effort to provide refuge to youth repressed by poverty, our community center was born in January of 2006. We chose the name Vida Para Todos, because we strive to offer that very concept: Life For All. Opportunities. We want to restore dignity and stimulate creativity. Vida Para Todos (V.P.T.) serves in a barrio that was completely wiped out by a hurricane in the 80's, and offers a place for neighbors to come together peacefully. The community center seeks to employ a young person's free time, as the public school only offers education for three hours of the day, and struggles with a 70% drop out rate due to drugs and prostitution or a lack of hope in a future. We are very hungry for support, both financially and through donations of musical equipment and art supplies. We are ecstatic to be in touch with you and to hear any ideas or passions you may have.
The Northwest Anarchist People of Color Gathering Benefit fundraiser!
WHEN: THIS Saturday, August 16th, 2008
WHERE: 1334 NE KILLINGSWORTH, Portland, Oregon
WHEN: 7PM - 12AM
WHAT: A social with Captured By Porches brew on sale
WHO: Open to everyone, one and all!
WHO AGAIN: Performers!
DJ XIPE TOTEC
Walidah Imarisha
Rob Los Ricos
plus special guests!
Come out and support the Anarchist/Autonomous People Of Color movement!
WHY: The first ever Northwest Anarchist/Autonomous People of Color Gathering is happening this weekend as well (open to people of color only - email northwestapoc@yahoo.com for more information about the gathering) and we’re having a benefit to raise money for it, and the 2009 National APOC Conference!
***Walidah Imarisha is a poet, journalist and rabble rouser. She is the bad half of the poetry duo Good Sista/Bad Sista, and was one of the editors for the first anthology to be released about Sept. 11 and the aftermath, Another World is Possible. She is one of the founders and first editor of the political hip hop publication AWOL Magazine, and spent six years on the board of the Central Committee for Conscientious Objectors.
www.walidah.com
***Rob Los Ricos, Chicano Anarchist and former political prisoner, will also be performing an acoustic set! Rob completed serving a seven-year sentence for his role in a clash between police and protesters during anti-globalization protests in Eugene, Oregon on June 18, 1999. A Chicano and longtime anarchist organizer, he was convicted of rioting and assault with a deadly weapon for allegedly chucking a rock at a cop.
www.roblosricos.net
***DJ XIPE TOTEC: Rockin' Revolutionist Regeneration. Playing the what’s fresh in Mexica Hip Hop!
Plus a few groups will be tabling the event!
For more information, email: agonzalez@riseup.net with questions
Siren Nation Proudly Presents:
New Orleans Rising
Commemorating Hurricane Katrina & Celebrating New Orleans
Thursday, August 28th
@ The Mission Theater (1624 N.W. Glisan)
Doors at 8:00, Films begin at 8:30.
$10 suggested donation, 21+.
A portion of the proceeds will benefit: Common Grounds Relief & The New Orleans Musicians Relief Fund. http://www.commongroundrelief.org http://www.nomrf.org
Featuring:
"Finding Common Ground"-- a documentary by PDX filmmaker Walidah Imarisha + several short films on New Orleans.
A panel discussion moderating by S. Renee Mitchell with: Walidah Imarisha, Shane Endicott (ReBuilding Center), Connie Durkee (In Defense of Animals), Nicole Taylor, and Stephanie Shrum.
Panelists will discuss their varied experiences both living and doing relief work in New Orleans post-Hurricane Katrina.
Live Music by Oz Street Fossils
FINDING COMMON GROUND IN NEW ORLEANS
This 24 minute documentary, shown through activist and poet Walidah Imarisha's lens looks at the effects that Hurricanes Katrina and Rita have had on New Orleans and the surrounding area. Through compelling and often heart wrenching interviews with residents, survivors, activists, volunteers and officials, the landscape of a city devastated by a natural disaster but more by criminal negligence, trying to rebuild comes to light. The short documentary is able, through the lens of personal accounts that speak to broader issues and concerns, to capture the pain, the loss and the hope of New Orleans.
www.myspace.com/channelzeromedia
www.sirennation.com
For more information about this event please contact Natalia Kay at info@sirennation.com
Woke up super early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep, so I ended up randomly putting in "Return of the Jedi," which I didn't properly appreciate when I was younger. I definitely didn't like Empire at all, with its bleak ending and its feeling of hopelessness. But while I was partial to Ewoks (brilliant marketing scheme), I remember thinking that Jedi was too easy -- we all knew that Darth would never kill Luke, believed in his power to save his father, so where was the twist?
Rewatching it now, I really appreciate both the complexities of this seemingly simple film and the deeply problematic racial undertones. I think that Return of the Jedi is an interrogation of both redemption AND race, and can not be read without the other. Now I'm just babbling here taking a break from doing real work, so all this shit is halfbaked, and take it at that. I'm sure others have and will explored it way more eloquently than I have.
But take of course the idea of the dark side of the force and the light side of the force. We all know whose side we want to be on right? Or do we really? First of all, who didn't think that Darth Vader looked fly as hell in his all black power outfit, complete with cape and gleaming helmet? You have to admit that in A New Hope, Obi Won looked kinda pathetic pitted against Darth.
The truth is Darth Vader is clearly the baddest MF in the universe! Who strikes fear into the hearts of everyone who meets him? He's clearly running stuff. And with the deep rumble of bad ass James Earl Jones as his voice, well, it just don't get no badder than that.
And that in itself is interesting. As a child, I knew that Darth Vader supposedly had to be white under that mask, cause he had two white kids. But we are clearly supposed to read him as a black menace, the voice, the outfit, the fear, the evil. He's gone to the dark side all right, negro to the core.
And then in Jedi, when Luke goes to meet him, he's rocking the all black outfit too, with one black leather glove. Now if that ain't a white boy tryna to prove how down he is to his black daddy, I don't know what it is.
Luke loves his daddy, even if he is the Iceberg Slim of the galaxy. (Shoot and Luke may have more siblings than he knows - I'm just saying Lando Calrissian does bear a certain family resemblance). It is this white man's love to a character that is associated only with blackness in every sense of the word and on every level, that allows for redemption to happen. Everyone else acts like there are two separate people: formerly white presumably well-behaved Anakin Skywalker (though when you see the new movies with his whining ass, you appreciate Darth Vader's menacing cool more) and the black heartless brutal buck of a Vader. Obi Won fronts like he didn't lie to Luke when he said Vader killed his father by saying, "When Anakin was seduced to the dark side, everything that was good about him ceased to exist. So what I told you was true, in a way." For him, even for Yoda, definitely for everyone in the Rebel Alliance, there can be no co-existence between goodness and blackness, no chance at redemption or rebirth. Luke is the only one who believes that there is a continuum, that race and redemption can overlap.
Now the kicker is, what form does that redemption take? Darth Vader, through the love of his white son, gets to be white again, one more time before he dies. When he takes off the mask of blackness, we see the whitest man underneath. And instead of James Earl Jones powerhouse tones, we hear a polished British accent. Luke insists that he needs to save Anakin (who gets to go back in our minds to being Anakin Skywalker again), and Anakin says, "You already have." Because we see the burning of the Darth Vader suit on a pyre, the murder of the blackness, and then when we see him as a blue ghost, he's really a white blue ghost, and gets to take his place with the pantheon.
Anyway this is just me trying to avoid actually doing the shit I'm supposed to be doing, but still I had to post up because it was tripping me out this morning. Every time I watch the Star Wars trilogies (again the original, I don't even have the time, energy or the heart to post up about the new ones), I find more to be intrigued by, disturbed by, more to question and inspire and despise. Shoot, at least I'm not bored!
But I was really happy to be asked to be part of it again. Thursday night there was a screening of an incredible film, Moving to the Beat www.moving2thebeat.com, which is about hip hop in Sierra Leone, made by Abdul Fofanah. It was one of the best documentaries I’ve seen, it covered so many different issues including sexism and the civil war and African diaspora. It was really powerful. And Abdul was there, along with one of the groups in the film Rebel Soulz and there was a good q and a, and then Rebel Soulz performed, along with a hip hop group from Brazil Fato Criminal who happened to be in town. It was really dope to see all this hip hop from around the globe and the ways that people are using hip hop as an organizing tool everyway. It was also hilarious to see that regardless of what country or what language, emcees are the same; you say one song, they do three, you say three songs, they do six! Microphone fiending is universal I guess.
Then on Friday I facilitated an all day poetry writing workshop Clandestine Poems: Poetry for Social Change. It was cool, we had a small group, six folks, but it was cool because the setting was more intimate and everyone got to share and support one another. I was really nervous, because it’s been a while since I worked with adults, and I haven’t really worked with adult organizers. But I was super excited too, to get to work on developing exercises and discussion points where I get to incorporate social change and poetry together. I think (I hope at least) that it went well and was useful for the folks who took it, cause I know it was really useful for me. I came up with a lot of cool exercises that I was excited about, even though I way over prepared and we didn’t get to half the stuff I wanted to do. But it was nice to have six hours just to focus on writing and delve more deeply.
Then Saturday night me and Turiya facilitated a group poetry writing session at the banquet, and then hosted the talent show. I was worried about the group poem, I wasn’t sure how it would come off, but it actually came together really well, I thought, and turned out to be a moving collective creation. And the talent show was cool, lots of different voices. One group CSAM, is a group of women who are about to be deported, and they sang while one of them did a sort of spoken word piece telling of her experiences over it. We had a poem about sexual consent by a former student of Turiya and mine Sci Fi class Tash who is awesome, and someone even brought a bagpipe and rocked it out. It was a fun way to spend the evening.
Turiya and I performed Friday night at one of the best events I’ve been to in a while, In Other Words annual banquet dinner. IOW is the feminist bookstore here in Portland; in fact, it’s the last non profit feminist bookstore in the country. Which is just depressing when you think about it. But being there was so inspiring. Everyone had such great energy. The other perfomers were incredible. There was a group Fellina’s Arrow, that Turiya and I totally want to work with. And Bruce got up and did a drag king show to the song “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy,” which was hilarious, sexy, kinky, talented and a brilliant commentary on gender. And then the audience was so awesome. They gave Turiya and me a standing ovation, which felt really good, it’s been a minute, since you don’t really get standing ovations in classrooms. We stayed for the whole night and it’s one of the few times when I was truly sad when an event was over.
Then yesterday I didn’t do shit! I slept late and watched bad movies, trying to rest up to get back to work…
www.sundiataacoli.org
This brotha is so powerful, brilliant, loving and has been incarcerated for 33 years because of his dedication and commitment to freedom. I used to be able to visit him once a month when I lived in Philly and I miss that so much, it’s the main thing I miss about living in Philly.
Also there is a page on there, I’m so honored!, with a poem Sundiata and I wrote together, along with a painting he painted of me, that I love and have hanging in my house!:
http://www.sundiataacoli.org/truth-i
First of all, yay me, I’m 29 now! My birthday was last week. Doesn’t really feel that different from 28. Which in turn did not feel that different than 27. But somehow all those not differences add up to a really big difference from when I was 20… A good difference, a bad difference? I guess it depends on the day.
One thing I know, I had an awesome birthday for the most part, and it last for days. It was like a birthday week of celebrating the day I came into the world. Which is cool. So first Christian came up to visit and was such a sweetie and a help. I was super crazy for work and was running around and he made me food and helped clean the house and bought me flowers and like four gifts. Such a sweetie. It was so nice and surreal having him back around. Since he and I were together when I moved into my house, it’s full of memories of us together. It was nice for those to be happy memories again instead of sad ones. We’re just seeing where it takes us, but it’s really beautiful.
Then for my birthday, we got together the night before at Turiya’s house for an awesome Rock Band birthday party. Turiya, my goddaughter EKela, Christian, my friends Pete and Shizuko and I all hung out for dinner, Pete and Turiya made this awesome Ethiopian dinner, and Christian got me an incredible vegan mocha cheesecake (I love vegan cheesecakes!), and then we all made one mega band The Rusty Kittens (oh yeah!) and shared instruments and rocked the night away. It was one of the best birthdays I’ve had. But unfortunately it started a Rock Band addiction that has been threatening to take over my life. Turiya and EKela and I have put in some serious work (I’m talking like a full time job somedays), which has paid off ni that the Rusty Kittens have half a million fans and are almost in the Hall of Fame (Rusty Kittens for life!) but unfortunately has resulted in loss of sleep, eating and tiredness at work and other activities. All in all, I think it’s well worth it.
Then on my actual birthday, I took the day off from my new job at the City of Portland (right?! How crazy is that? Anarchist working for local government… Let me begin making excuses by saying it is a temporary position, I am working with awesome and amazing youth (as you will hear more soon) about incorporating youth empowerment into local government, and it’s a billion times better and less evil than working at the real estate law firm that was my previous position… Maybe that last one doesn’t actually help my case at all… How bout this one: a sista’s gotta eat and mortgage gotta get paid, sheeit) and just hung out with Christian most of the day watching movies and talking smack, then went over for the Rock Band overtime. I got really sweet gifts from folks (thank you to everyone for them! Seth for the London Calling record (so awesome!), my mom for the sweet collection of useful things, my sister for the money (ya know that’s much needed), Brian for the computer case, Christian for the rings, and tons of fokls called and emailed and myspaced with love, which was so wonderful! It eased the transition to one year away from 30) and it was just all around awesome.
Then when I came back to work on Monday, I had another awesome surprise: the amazing people I worked with had got me a card (one of the youth Terrell had made me a card!) and Terrell also made me vegan oreo cupcakes! It was his first time baking vegan and it was the sweetest and also tastiest cupcake I’ve had. I was so touched, it’s so rare I get dessert, let alone someone going out of their way to make it. It was so sweet of everyone, especially considering I’ve only been here for a few weeks.
A downside to my wonderful birthday weekend is that things have not been working out at all with my roommate. It has been dramatic to say the least. It sorta all blew up this weekend. He’s a really nice person, but things aren’t working out. Which means I have to go through the whole process of finding a roommate again. So if anyone knows any leads, let a sista know!
Yesterday I had a really great evening, despite the fact that I was sick. Me and some fo the students from the De La Salle poetry group I was facilitating went to a Grassroots Media Camp facilitation meeting, because they are going to facilitate a poetry workshop at the Camp in September. It was so good to see them, they are all such awesome, cool, hilarious, sweet and talented folks, it’s always great getting to spend time with them. I don’t think I’ve had such a fun meeting before!
Now I’m getting ready for the Community Strategic Training Institute (CSTI) put on by the Western States Center, every year, a training for organizers in the region which is really awesome. I’m hosting a film screening tonight, and tomorrow doing a full day poetry workshop, and then Saturday Turiya and I are hosting the talent show. So it’s going to be a fun but busy ass weekend!
http://imagine2050.blogspot.com/200
Black Superheroes Wanted
By Walidah Imarisha
7-24-2008
How do you make a movie that relies entirely on America’s sordid racial history, without ever talking about race? Ask the makers of Hancock, they seem to have it down pat.
John Hancock [Will Smith] is a superhero that protects Los Angeles, begrudgingly. Drunk, foul mouthed, bedraggled, sexist, homophobic and ethnically insensitive, he’s about as far from a Superman as you’re ever going to get. But we find out that all Hancock needs is a little TLC.
A blow to the head 80 years ago erased his memory, so he lives in isolation from society, saving it without being of it. But all that changes when he meets Ray Embrey [Jason Bateman], a public relations man down on his luck who decides to help Hancock clean up his image. Oh, and we find out that Bateman’s domestic dream of a wife Mary [Charlize Theron] is really a superhero too, and did I mention that she was married to Will Smith for 3,000 years?
Let the games begin.
This is a movie about a black superhero that has nothing to do with a black superhero. Though Will Smith is obviously black, the film studiously avoids any exploration of what that means. Hancock has no cultural context. Throughout the film, he has no connection to a community, to a family, to a culture, to an identity, to anyone who looks like him. He is completely alone. A metaphor for the state of Black America? Try it on.
That is not to say that there aren’t other people of color, and even other black folks in the film. They’re all over. They’re the Indian store clerk, the Asian gangsters with automatic weapons, the black and Latino men who populate the jail Hancock goes to (oh yes, they send him to the slammer) – in fact, there is not a single black man in the film, other than Hancock, who is not shown as a dangerous criminal (and he’s kinda iffy). With that kind of PR, we can see why Hancock ain’t trying to claim his people too quick.
As much as this movie and Hancock lack a cultural connection, it is not a role created for a white hero. This film would never have been read the same way, and the way I think the creators intended, if it had been Brad Pitt in that role. The entire film relies on racialization of our unconscious minds to fill in the gaps of discussion, without anyone saying “race” or “black.”
We would know Hancock is a black superhero even if we never saw his face. The music in the film is almost nothing but hip hop, some dub reggae. The opening song played the first time we do see Hancock? Ludacris’ “Move Bitch (Get Out the Way).” Only a black superhero could have been portrayed as the antithesis of a hero, as someone who has to be scolded by the white PR guy about his behavior, who gets cleaned up like a child to be presentable to the larger society. Would they have punked Batman like that? The Hulk? C’mon now!
This film plays with a racially explosive history like a stick of dynamite, without every acknowledging the potentially destructive force. The relationship between Hancock and Mary is charged throughout the film with sexual tension. We find out that they were in fact made for each other, a race of ancient superbeings, that died out, except for the two of them. And when they’re in each other’s proximity, they lose their special powers, become mortals. Mary runs her hands over the scars on Hancock’s, otherwise impervious body, “Sumeria 4 BC. They came after you with swords…” 1850, he supposedly pulled her out of a fire set by a mob. And lastly, 80 years before he was attacked and his head split open, causing his amnesia. “They wouldn’t let me ride in the ambulance with you,” she says tearfully.
1850? 80 years ago, so the 1920s? Theron with her blonde hair and blue eyes, and Will Smith? The “they” is left ambiguous, and I suppose some people could have read it that the mobs attacked because they were superheroes. But if we think of 1850, when slavery was still legal in this country, when black people had to prove they weren’t property, and where interracial marriage would still be illegal for decades, you get a much clearer vision of the racialized history this film is dancing around but never steps up to claim, perhaps afraid that a frank discussion of race and power would ruin a fun Saturday night out at the movies.
In the end, Hancock is an acceptable black hero because he accepts his appropriate role in society: alone, isolated, there to save white people (we never see him save a person of color in the movie, because, again, all he people of color we see are criminals), in a silly outfit, smiling and saying thank you to police officers, far away from the white woman.
The ultimate lesson to this movie? Same as it was in 1850 and 1920: Black men, stay as far away from white women as possible, if you want to live.
I could go on for hours and hours, and ultimately I think that Gil Scot Heron said it best
"Someone help me away from this nation
Who'll pay reparations on my soul"
and might I add, WTF, Will Smith, WTF?
Longer more coherent review coming soon.
“Language makes the world we live in, the world we live in does not make the language – that is the lyrical dip.” Chris Abani
this is my last day at Goddard. Technically we are supposed leave on Saturday, but there’s just a one hour closing and I got permission to leave early. It’s been such an intense eight days. It has be far and away been the best residency I’ve had since I joined the program. I was making notes throughout the week like:
“My heart is singing right now. I have been introduced to and reminded of so many phenomenal writers that literally take my breath away. “
And:
“I’m in love with so much I realize. Saying I like or even love a thing is not enough, it is passive and stagnant. There is a taking for granted that I don’t feel at all right now. Reading a piece of poetry I realize I am in love with that piece of poetry, an active partcipation and exchange, a putting into and a taking out of. I am in love with the talk Gary Lilley gave tonight about the persona poem. He made it political and downhome, he read a piece by Patricia Smith where she takes on the voice of Olive Oyl from the Popeye cartoons and it was wrenching and familiar and disturbing and very real. Gary Lilley’s own poetry is very real. Chris Abani’s lecture on Ethics and the Craft of Writing swept me off my feet, we had a blink of the eye courtship, and we’re married now, together, part of each other. I guess like many marriages it is a lopsided one, only one of us infusing the other one. In fact, the other side of the marriage doesn’t know I exist. But I think this is the one instance where that is not only okay, but preferable. I want the art to be what it is, outside of myself so I can take it inside of myself.”
I have spent hours talking with my housemate here Patricia, when before I would grunt a hello on my way to the bathroom or out the door. I sit with people at lunch and talk and debate and discuss long after my food is finished. I have attended readings and informal readings and people talking shit readings, where last time I did none of those things. I feel connecdted in a way I haven’t before, knowing that I am still also very separate, other, alone but perhaps for the first time not utterly unknown.
And it is hard dealing with so many emotions, information. Last night I had a nightmare where I kept having to analyze people’s work, and I kept saying the word discourse untl I woke up nauseous. Three days ago I felt horrible, precisely because everything was so wonderful. A feeling that this is not sustainable, that happiness is not meant to continue, a fear for an end before an unraveling had even begun.
And now I leave. And go home to my life, as if to say this is not part of my life. and I go home to seeing Christian, which I guess is and is not part of my life, so new and so undefined as yet. And I keep reminding myself that the journey is the product, even if the product itself is utterly expendable.
