talmidim :: trying to be covered in the dust of my rabbi

www.subversivereformation.blogspot.com

"breaking news: cruise liner with 1,000 american evacuees arrives..." and "helicopters evacuating american citizens in lebanon..."
why is it more important to evacuate american citizens? are we more important? do we have a right to life more than a lebanese, syrian, israeli, or iranian person? did we evacuate innocent iraqi citizens before bombing the hell out of them?
thanks to ryan hofacre for his prayers for the middle east.

i encountered god today more than i do on most sundays. i slept in until 11:04 a.m. and then spent one hour reading matthew 5-7. yes, i got worked over by it again -- but continue to discover more and grow deeper in my understanding of jesus. also reading the last word by n.t. wright. the beauty of matt. 5-7 astonishes me. i can't thoroughly and/or adequately write what i'm thinking about the entire piece. i've always tore apart section by section but today took it all in at once -- as a whole symphony. beautiful.

that was some really good oatmeal. yes it has been a while. i've been thinking, struggling, and growing and continue to be challenged. sarah and i are moving to mount vernon nazarene university on july 27. more on why later. adios church of america.

echo.

i was going to write but i think i'm going to go eat some oatmeal.

echo.

the name of the band is greyline. jeremy clark. ryan rolfe. ryan richey. matt dunn. david webb. the website is in production (it sucks right now so i'll include the address later) and recording begins this coming week at rolfe production studio in the basement of 52 rockwell dr. the guys and i played and spoke respectively at two events at shawnee state university last week. here we go.

echo.

what is the kingdom of god? where does it reside? is this kingdom the dominant authority / governing institution (for lack of a better word) for christians? do we limit the presence of the kingdon? who are christians to be / what are christians to do to reveal the suppossed kingdom of god?

why are we in iraq? was my friend sent to iraq to stop oppression, to maintain my american 'rights' or to make my next stop at superquick a cheaper fill up? if we are staying in iraq to help the iraqis set up another competitive, money-driven, "safe" society -- why aren't we doing the same in haiti, where renegades rule the streets with their firearms? why isn't america offering our protection to provide the haitians with a fair, controlled election? the u.s. government was asked to provide such assistance but said no multiple times. oh, yeah, the haitians don't have clean water either. any ideas?

"the longer you look at jesus, the more you will want to serve him in his world. that is, of course, if it's the real jesus you're looking at. plenty of people in the church and outside it have made up a 'jesus' for themselves, and have found that this invented character makes few real demands on them. he makes them feel happy from time to time but doesn't challenge them, doesn't suggest they get up and do something about the plight of the world. Which is, of course, what the real jesus had an uncomfortable habit of doing."

n.t. wright. following jesus: biblical reflections on discipleship.

"in his vehement insistence on the priority of prophetic sacrifice and vision over literal place, Jesus also claimed that his meals with his disciples - which had long been designed as celebrations of god's kingdom - amounted to better offerings than what caiaphas sanctioned in the temple. the meal became a visionary sacrifice, with wine taking the place of literal "blood" and bread replacing an animal's "body" or "flesh." Jesus' meals became a prophetic challenge to the temple establishment, which replied with Rome in executing Jesus and dispersing his followers."

bruce chilton. dictionary for theological interpretation of the bible. vanhoozer, kevin j. gen. ed. baker book house company. 2005.

i met reba craig at heartland of portsmouth nursing home. she seems to have dimentia and alzheimer's disease. i think i'm going to be her grandson that otherwise doesn't visit.

a day of digging deeper creates dangerous doubt.

is it because my shovel will never hit what i'm searching for? should i keep digging, sweating, laying awake at night?

the bachelor :: you've got to be kidding me.

"the renewal of the church will come from a new type of monasticism which only has in common with the old an uncompromising allegiance to the sermon on the mount. it is high time men and women banded together to do this." - dietrich bonhoeffer, in a letter to his brother

for charlotte baker
for nick harris
for lyndon henry

center aisle by derek webb of caedmon's call:

thank God I'm back in my car
and driving home, and driving home
cause the air was thin and so cold
back in there
it was my first time
won't be my last time
and the questions rise
expectations fall
in light of it all
there aren't words to say
words aren't remembered
but presence is
a good friend once told me
and he was there
he was there
but she wasn't there
it's not fair
it's not fair

what crimes have you committed
demanding such a penance
that couldn't wait for five more minutes
and a cry for help
cause this room is so peaceful
and this room is so quiet
and I hate the silence
and I can't walk the center aisle

i've been here for over three hours
behind the flowers
so beautiful and young
and so alive
and so in need of someone
someone to talk to them
cause theirs are fragile lives

and I think about my brother
and how I just stood there
with my hands in my pockets
and my heart in my throat
thank God I'm back in my car
and driving home
and driving home
but in that place I leave
all my days of taking life for granted
and the words I wrote for her
and my best friend crying
and a young girl lying
on all our hearts

last night: trouble sleeping. tired but restless. sleepy but sleepless. hopeful that the pseudo-life of a motion picture could distract my mind enough to allow at least a few hours of rest. morgan freeman, however, captivated my attention once again in the shawshank redemption. and god captivated my attention when "the warden" gave "andy" an apple pie. apple pie. andy and red had a sense of freedom when they ate apple pie or shared a beer in the open air on the roof during a work break. it was like a taste of freedom. i started thinking about apple pie - with a cup of coffee. i could sit and enjoy apple pie and coffee whenever i want - as long as i make the time to sit and enjoy. the same with a baked potato - the skin rolled in salted, melted butter with fresh steamed brocolli and bacon on top. i rolled over in bed to admire my wife sleeping. suddenly, i was free. suddenly, i could sleep.

"have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew." -- saint francis de sales

let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be alway acceptable in your sight, o lord, my strength and my redeemer. psalm xix. 14.

almighty and most merciful father: we have erred, and strayed from your ways like lost sheep. we have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. we have offended against your holy laws. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done; and there is no health in us. but you, o lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders. spare those, o god, who confess their faults. Restore to you those who are penitent; according to your promises declared unto mankind in christ jesus our lord. and grant, o most merciful father, for his sake that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, to the glory of your holy name. amen.