[	Tags	|	lareine, life	]
[	Current Location	|	fucking Houston	]
[	Current Mood	|	*cry*	]

AUSA is here. Only 3 more days. And sucks to the core that I can't go to see Versailles, specifically, Kamijo again. It makes me really depressed again and I totally lost my appetite, but then I can't really skip meal because I would not be very happy to have that painful anemia explosion again like I did in late May. But then my parents would not give me a chance to speak, they just completely ignore me and then go to my sister and said I did not mention anything. I mean, what the heck, it's not like I did not mention anything, it's them did not show me a single sign that they want to listen to anything I want to say. They closed that door before I even show them I have something to say. In the end, no matter how lucky I am to have one more vote on going to see that man, I am still stuck in this place still hoping, waiting, longing. I have gotten enough regret, I really want to see Versailles before it's too late. There is a thing named accident. It's unpredictable. And I do not want the regret of not able to see Kami, the Gackt-era Malice Mizer, Lareine, and Juka-era Moi dix mois repeat. Just because of how people are being selfish and try to tie my wings together so that I can't fly, it made me not able to do what I could have done to make myself look forward without regret and pain.

My biggest regrets in my life is so obvious. I had to spent my second half of my teenager alone without all the friends that I grew up with, I can't shop around, I can't live like everybody else I know. I can never see Kami even once on stage in my life. I cannot see Lareine even once before it is gone. I cannot live the way I want to and bring myself some priceless happiness that I always have when I was in Hong Kong and those in the future. 

Now when you see Versailles is doing fantastic, you know that romantic and blissful period of time is forever gone, and it cannot be be brought back like nothing happened even if Mayu appears again. There is no turning back, and things can never be the same. That's fine too, you know, one day when Lareine reach their peak, they would start to go down like Luna Sea did, in the end, maybe Lareine get to celebrate 20th anniversary, it might not last until time to celebrate 30th. It's just that I am very depressed that I couldn't feel that magic in real life and see it with my own eyes before it's too late.

Taken fromrame_hime
 

Argh! The classroom is freezing cold! I don't get it why they make it so cold when it's Fall already and weather starts cooling down. It's getting more comfortable walking outside the hotel area and going out. I just hope it cools down a bit more so that when I dress up I don't get too hot under the collar.

School is ok lately. The lecture is starting to pick up now, and those that were supposed to be working on during the storm was either canceled or push back, so there are a lot to read. And I absolutely hate to read Barth's textbook. He is really funny and easy to understand in class, but his textbook writing just give me a headache. I can't understand what he wrote in the Law textbook.

By the way, lately I am interested in British history. I was reading up something about Queen Elizabeth I and Queen Cathrine of Argon. I'm also trying to read up something about Marie Antoinette. It's interesting, though I'm not exactly reading the history but novel based on history.