Growing up, I learnt the hard way that some people can't be trusted. And as often happens when you're hurt as a child, I closed myself and doubted everyone's good intentions. Never forgive, never forget; I didn't believe in second chances.

But it's rather obvious that what I'm currently doing is exactly that: I'm giving myself a second chance. I'd have to be blind to miss it. And why would I deserve a second chance more than other people? There is absolutely no reason. I've probably hurt myself more than any other person has or ever will. I'm changing, and I'm not the exception. People change, constantly. And eventually we all end up regretting things we've done, or things we haven't done.


Photo © spud murphy

Unless someone really screwed your life and destroyed your hopes and dreams and everything else, you should eventually be able to get over it. More often then not, we'll sulk and break previously harmonious friendships over really tiny trivial matters. That's how humans are: we all have our pride and our opinions, and often think we hold the truth. We let ourselves get offended by things that, in the end, wouldn't change anything in our lives if we didn't let them. But the thing is, someone else's truth is more often than not every bit as valid as our own vision of things. If we don't understand that, we'll go through life severing ties and holding grudges. What good would this do?

Yesterday, I sent a message to a friend with who I had a dispute roughly a year or two ago, getoutofmyband. We used to be good friends, but this little quarrel ended this relationship abruptly and, actually, it was all pointless. It had started with something as inconsequential as a picture of herself and a friend of hers kissing, and I, being easily offended at the time, let this image, which did not have any harmful intent, affect me in a negative manner, which led me to reject this person. At the time, I thought she was wrong for showing such a picture, but now I've realised, I had reacted without any real, valuable motive. The picture wasn't the problem; my perception of things and my being overly judgemental was. Basically, I punished her for my closed-mindedness.

So, I apologised. Recognising that you were wrong can be a difficult thing, but once you do, you can let go of the pointless grudge you're holding and it's one less weight on your shoulders. Whether you're forgiving yourself or forgiving someone else, it sort of takes the problem off your hands a little bit: you've done your share, you've come to term with that conflict, you are willing to get over it. And while happy ends are wished for, the other person accepting your apology or not is not the most important thing; clearing your mind of this conflict is. The person involved might never know you forgave them or that you wish to apologise, but as long as you know you did, then you can rest up a bit.

getoutofmyband did accept my apology and forgive my behaviour, which makes me quite happy. She could easily have said "no" to me, which would probably have disappointed me a bit but I would have accepted this answer nonetheless. We were both ready to forgive each other, which is great, but it's not always the case. The important thing is, an apology was given, so an opening was made for reconciliation. That's what matters most.

I really hope getoutofmyband and I can be good friends again, and I trust we can. There's no point staying mad at people. It just makes both your life and theirs more negative, and no one needs nor wants more negativity. So here are some tips to help you settle conflicts and avoid them:

♫ Take your time
If you are not ready to apologise, wait a little and give it more thought. An apology has to be honest and genuine; if you are not certain you mean it, then you are not ready to apologise. Likewise, if someone apologises to you but you are not ready to forgive them, don't pretend you do. Doing so would only increase the tension you are feeling. Let the person know you understood their apology, but are not ready to take back contact. But don't ignore them! Acknowledge the fact that they made the effort of presenting their excuses; that they made the first step, but you're just not ready to follow yet.

♫ Do Not Expect Instant Apology
If a person is not ready to forgive you, don't take back your word. Don't close the door you've just opened; go forward, not backwards. Give them some time to think about everything and consider your offer.

♫ Keep out of Internet Drama
The Internet is a wonderful thing, but it can also make life miserable, quickly. We often hear "It's just the Internet" and make jokes about it, but cyber bullying is a very serious problem with real impact on real lives. Internet Drama, or any drama for that matter, won't bring anything good in your life; focus on positive things instead. Just because you're allowed to speak your mind doesn't mean you should.

♫ Keep Contact
When a conflict begins, it can be very tempting to completely block out a person from your life, delete their number from your phone and remove them from your contact lists. Don't do it. After a few hours, days, months, years, once you've had time to calm down a bit and to think about what's happened, it's likely you'll want to take contact with that person again to explain yourself and/or apologise.

♫ Be Open
Learn to accept other people's point of view. You might not agree with them, but it's their lives, not yours. If they don't try to force their opinion on you, you shouldn't force yours on them. Explain to them that you see things differently, and avoid further, pointless arguments. Respect their opinion and they will respect yours!

♫ Avoid Vengeance
Getting revenge is about the worse idea you can get. Put oil on a fire and it'll blow in your face! Try to make things better, not worse. Vengeance doesn't solve any problem.

♫ Don't Let Others Step on your Head
If you've truly done nothing wrong and others still blame you, speak up! You shouldn't take the blame just for the sake of avoiding conflict. Respect yourself as much as you respect others. Remain calm and explain your side of the situation. And if they still don't want to hear you out, give them some time to calm down.

♫ The Saying Goes...
They might be old sayings, but they're still valid today: If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. One must turn the tongue seven times in the mouth before speaking. Ring any bell? There is no point in saying mean things; they never make things better for anyone. Be constructive and diplomatic: if you don't like something, say it without blaming the other person. Also, thinking about what you really mean to say before saying it really helps avoid bad situations and misunderstandings. Because friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life, and the best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend!


Pondering Points:
♪ Are there things you regret in life?
♪ Have you ever wished you could go back in time and do things differently?
♪ Do you sometimes have disproportionate reactions?
♪ Are you mad at someone right now? Why?
♪ If you're wrong about something, are you able to admit it?

This morning, I received a wonderful package from la_foret_noire filled with Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab products to try out! I am absolutely delighted! I checked the descriptions for each scent and they all sound delicious. 13, Delirium, Grog, Seance, Shanghai and the Atomic Luau Lounge line seem particularly interesting. I'll spend the next couple of weeks trying them out and smelling fantastic! Miskatonic University and Dia de los Muertos leaked during the transport (!!!) and I had to wash them, so I took this opportunity to try out the first one, and I love it! It smells like warm Irish coffee and old books, and is more than perfect to wear on a cold, rainy day like today. I'll send you back a little something!

Odours are a very important part of our lives. They can make us feel good or feel bad, feel cheerful or calm or depressed. They make us like things and dislike others. And they're everywhere. I'd be a very sad person if I lost the sense of smell.

I used to hate perfumes. When I was young, no one in my family wore perfume. Every time I would go to those big store that have tons of perfume and cosmetic counters at the entrance I would pinch my nose until we were out of that section in order to survive the overpowering scent of dozens of commercial perfumes.


Photo © Mrs_Haukaas

After finding some fragrances I like, I've come to understand that perfumes are not all bad, in fact, they can be fantastic! The trick is finding scents that make you feel good and complement your personality. Perfumes are usually put in categories (floral, fruity, woody, green, oceanic or oriental) and associated with an age group or occasion in which they "can" be worn, but that does not mean much. What matters more is what you look for in a scent. What do you picture yourself smelling like? What is your signature smell?

It's difficult to have a clear idea of what scent fit you at first, but the obvious should come first: if you don't like a scent, chose a perfume that does not contain it as part of its ingredients. Liquorice is one such scent; you either love it or hate it. So, try to make a list of scents that you like, and of what impression they leave on you. Do they put you in a good mood? Do they smell refreshing, warming? Could you smell them for ever or do you get sick of them after a while? Try to think of different variations; for example, apples: there are different types of apples and different scents. To me, Granny Smith smells refreshing but acid, red apples smell more sweet, baked apples smell warm, and apple pies smell like autumn. But to you, Granny Smith might smell completely sour, red apples might smell childish, baked apples might give you the impression they are no longer fresh, and apple pies might make you think of your grandma.

Once you've decided on scents you like and know the impact they have on you, think of how you view yourself. Are you energetic, calm? Do you spend your days out in the countryside, shopping downtown in an urban area, or reading books in little cafes? Think of how you want to feel regarding your own scent. Sometimes it might be difficult or quite simply impossible to pick just one. Try to group scents you can associate with in different categories according to the way they make you feel. I like to wear warmer scents on cold days and more fruity fragrances in the summer, but I like a spicy undertone every day. And for me, warm scents include coffee, cocoa, black tea, hazelnut, honey, vanilla, caramel, rum and musks, while agreeable fruit scents are composed of raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, fig and citrus rinds. Everything can be spiced up with scents of ginger, clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, etc.

When you know the scent pairings you'd like, look for them in fragrances. Most perfumers can give you a list of fragrances used in their perfumes so you can see if the arrangements match what you seek. Sale assistants at cosmetic counters should also be able to help you with this. Everything might look delicious when listed, but you really need to try the fragrances on yourself before deciding if you like them or not. This is because your skin has its own smell, and will also react in its own way to different perfume blends. Take a whole day to appreciate how the scent develops itself; something that smells of cocoa when first applied might turn to caramel after a few hours. If you go in a physical sale point, they should have demo bottle which you can spray on yourself (I suggest the wrist). If you shop online, try to find samples; many artisan perfumers offer them. eBay is also a good bet for most mainstream fragrances.

It's good to have different scents available to suit your mood. A scent can difficultly be forever. If you can find one that you'll like until your death, good for you, but most of us will use several different fragrances to fit our moods and preferences of the moment. One thing is certain, a delicious smell is one of the best accessories you can find to show your personality!

The Linked Lot:

Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs: The scents that made me like perfumes again. While they're technically more of a gothic perfumery, BPAL also offers some more cheerful scents; it's not all dark and mysterious. 1ml undiluted oils samples are available for some scents at 3.50 each or 19.50 for 6, and you can easily find BPAL fans to swap or share oils with online. They constantly offer limited edition perfumes, which are regarded as collectables by connoisseurs. Blends are mixed when ordered for best scent!

Demeter Fragrances: Made to emulate every scent possible, from the more traditional Vanilla, Lavender and Violet to Play-Doh, Baby Powder and Funeral Home. They are perfect to mix-and-match to create a more unique scent, as each fragrance is made to smell one specific thing. Big with American celebrities, they're available at very reasonable prices, with 15ml mini-splash bottles costing only 6$ each. I'll be ordering shortly to try them out!

Ayala Moriel: Montreal-born perfumer Ayala Sender makes her blends from pure essences using traditional methods and ethical, local and fair-trade products as much as humanly possible. I have yet to try her products, but they do seem wonderful so I hope to be able to do so shortly. For those seeking something unique, she offers signature perfumes made especially for you to suit your personality and tastes. At 550$, it's a more pricey option, but worth it for those willing to invest in their image. 1ml samples of regular scents are available for a low price.


Pondering Points:
♪ What do you smell like on an average day?
♪ Do you wear perfume or scented body products?
♪ What scents do you like for yourself? Hate?
♪ What scent to you find attractive on someone else? Do some scents turn you off?
♪ Do you have a signature scent, or several fragrances you think represent you?

Since I came back to live with my mum, I have been paying much more attention to my eating habits. One of the reasons for that is that my mum, being a typical North-American mother, insists on seeing us eat plenty a minimum of 3 times a day, which, it pains me to say, led me to eat much more than I used to. When I lived alone, I would usually skip breakfast or simply eat a fruit or two, eat a small lunch in the middle of the afternoon, due to my work schedule, and snack a bit upon my return home. Now, I am expected to eat three full meals a day, each of them containing, at least, a large portion of starchy foods as well as an important protein source, with the occasional disproportionally small supply of vegetables or fruits, the whole thing distributed in servings suitable for three people and their dog. Now, I know my mother means to do good, and that she makes efforts to try and feed us properly (she does buy organic and local food whenever she can), but I am under the impression that it is starting to ruin my health, which is not in great condition to start with. Also given the fact that I am at home most of the time and have time to think, I tend to see more clearly the effects of food on my mood and my body than I did when I was more busy. My skin, while never before satisfactorily healthy-looking, is terrible these days. As well, stomach pains, which have pretty much always been present for me, are more frequents. I always feel bloated and heavy for hours after eating, often almost to the next meal. And I suspect I gain weight, but cannot confirm this due to lack of a balance (wft? I should have one). As you can guess, all this is not making me very comfortable. Therefore, I have decided to progressively change my diet into one that will make me healthier and more comfortable, no matter what my mum says (she should do like me, she could use getting more healthy; I know she's trying too).

My food resolutions:

♫ Eat smaller portions.
I'd rather eat 10 small servings a day than 3 overly large ones. This will help avoiding feeling stuffed and unnecessarily heavy as well as avoiding between meals downs.

♫ Eat more slowly.
According to most dieticians, it takes roughly 20 minutes into a meal before your brain receives the signal that lets you know you ate enough. Currently, I usually take about 15 minutes to stuff my face, and expect I ingest the "needed" portion size in less than 10 minutes, meaning I eat at least 5 minutes worth of excess food. I now aim to take more time to chew and taste food in order to avoid devouring humongous amounts of the stuff.

♫ Eat less meat.
I noticed I do feel much heavier after meat-filled meals. Now, meat is known to be more difficult to digest, so this is totally understandable. And while I do not dislike mean (at the moment anyway), I can't say it's my favourite foodstuff, and I think I could do without, or at least, with much smaller quantities.

♫ Avoid processed food.
Frozen pizzas and factory made salmon pies might be convenient, but they are far from being healthy. They contain large amount of fat and indecent quantities of salt, which have a negative impact on the body. Most of all, they are overly pricey; the average frozen pizza costs more than 2 or 3 kilos of most vegetables or fruits.

♫ Drink more water.
Water is about the most important part of a healthy diet; it is essential to be properly hydrated to function correctly; drinking plenty (a cup every 2 hours while awake) helps detoxifying the body. Keeping yourself water-filled also helps avoiding mistaking thirst signals for hunger signals, thus abstaining from snacking senselessly.

♫ Eat fresh, raw food.
Fresh food not only tastes better, but contains more nutriments; many vitamins and mineral present in vegetables are lost in cooking water. Texture is also greatly altered when food is cooked. Oops! Cooked a minute too much? Now it's all mushy and diluted. Or tastes burnt...


I aim to gradually decrease my meat and poultry intake enough to exclude them from my diet when I move back on my own (in the Spring hopefully). After that, I want to go towards raw foodism, because it's totally awesome and good for you (what convincing arguments there!).


Pondering Points:
♪ How many times a day do you eat? At what time?
♪ What is your favourite fruit? Your favourite vegetable?
♪ What is your favourite foodstuff? What do you find absolutely repulsive?
♪ What dishes would you like to taste? Is there anything you would refuse to even try?
♪ Do you consider your eating habits to be good for your health?

♫ Bake cupcakes and distribute them to your friends, classmates, colleagues, etc.
♫ Buy a flower and give it to a stranger in the street.
♫ Spend the day in pyjamas reading stories and watching TV shows and movies from your childhood.
♫ Go grocery shopping with a friend and cook them dinner afterwards.
♫ Do a weekend bus trip to another city.
♫ Clean your closet and donate unwanted clothes to charity.
♫ Take a long, warm, perfumed bath.
♫ Redecorate your home.
♫ Go for a walk in the rain, preferably under a colourful umbrella.
♫ Give people unexpected gifts.
♫ Celebrate your unbirthday.
♫ Create a new dish, write down the recipe, and have other people try it and give you feedback.
♫ Taste new food from a different culture.
♫ Give a treat to your pet. If you don't have a pet, consider getting one.
♫ Go window shopping in designer boutiques.
♫ Buy a basket of your favourite fruits and eat them all by yourself.
♫ Travel across the city for that bestest ice cream/chocolate/coffee.
♫ Spend a rainy day leafing through books at the book store.
♫ Blow a whole pay check on fashion accessories.
♫ Eat a warm home made soup with fresh artisan-made bread on a cold day. Alternatively, chai tea with ginger snaps.
♫ Read until you fall asleep.
♫ Watch the sun rise, wrapped up in a warm blanket and drinking freshly-brewed coffee.

In a little less than a month, it'll once again be time for my birthday. While I worked all year, I feel more like I slaved away rather than accomplished anything. I barely made enough money to pay the bills, had no social life, and very little fun. I'd rather not see that happen again in my life. I want to be able to work by myself as a freelancer, as soon as possible, and hopefully as a full-time job. I'll be turning 22 years old already; it's about time I get started. I know I won't be able to move back out unless I make a decent amount of money, so I have to work as hard as I can!

Next week, I will start working on a real, as-complete-as-possible writing portfolio. If you have any suggestions of articles, subjects you'd like to see covers or the likes, let me know! Also, if you have any suggestion of interesting books, magazines, newspapers, blogs, whatever, I'd be delighted to hear them and check them out!

But in any case, birthdays come with obligatory wishlists. So BEHOLD! Here comes the mighty birthday wishlist, now 30% fuller, fluffier and with more vitamins. (No. Don't ask.)



♫ A trip to far far away
I would like to travel and see new places. I've always dreamt of being somewhere else, but it's always been just a dream. My parents don't travel, and my only known family outside of Quebec is a penniless ultra-religious uncle in New-Brunswick, so it's not an option. Therefore, I've never left Quebec, which makes me quite sad...

♫ A guarantor for a passport application
Because if I want to travel, I'll need a passport, obviously... Most likely I'll be asking my uncle for that.

♫ Gift Cards
Gift cards are always a good idea if you don't know what to give someone. You just need to pick a store you know they'll like. IKEA, Lush and Chapters are all places where one can always find something.

♫ White MacBook
A small laptop is about the most useful thing to have around. While my iMac is great, I can't carry it around with me.

♫ Adobe Creative Suite 4 Design Premium
Anyone who like to dabble in design and illustration just can't live without Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign. CS4 is coming out shortly, and is a must for anyone who uses computers.

♫ Moleskine Notebook
Everyone needs a way to sort out their thoughts, and a notebook is just the thing for that. And since thoughts are important, they deserve a high quality notebook.

♫ Nikon D90 DSLR Camera
With that, I could take on the world! ... Well, take it in pictures, anyway. The D80's new brother just came out and the reviews are excellent, as was to be expected. Digital reflex cameras are so much better than the point-and-shoot ones...

♫ Juicy Couture Candy Corn Charm
Because I totally agree with what it says. Why have a bitter life when you can make it sweet?

♫ L.A.M.B. Locket Watch
It's important to be on time, but a watch should be practical as much as fashionable. This one doesn't get in the way and gives you style as well as precise time.

♫ Crumpler "Albert Stash" Bag
A nicely made bag, big enough for a laptop but useful for many other things as well, and smaller (and less pricey) than the Harry Hoard bag. And it comes in lime green. What more can I say?

♫ Scarves
Because they're stylish, available in tons of colours and patterns, and can be worn in numerous ways.

♫ Adagio Teaware
I am a very heavy tea drinker. I always have a warm cup on my desk while I work (or pretend to). The ingenuiTEA is used to infuse the tea (without resorting to those evil metal infusers; they ruin the taset) and drain it directly into the cup, giving a nice beverage clean of leaves. Can you beat that? They already did, with the triniTEA tea maker; basically like a coffe maker, but for tea. While you're at it, their flavoured teas seem wonderful too...

♫ Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab perfume oils
la_foret_noire got me addicted, and now I need more. At the moment I use Incubus and my "imp" is running out. I also can't wait to try their Port-Au-Prince, Ogun and Plunder blends. I'm a fan of their imp sample option.

♫ Demeter Perfumes
While on the subject of perfumes, an other line I am dying to try is the Demeter fragrances. They come in pretty much every scent imaginable, and are available in 1/2 oz samples too. How could I possibly say no to Crème Brulée, Gingerbread, Earl Grey Tea or Mulled Cider scents?

♫ Jelly Belly jellybeans.
Because I'm a candy addict. I'm particularly fond of the Berry Blue, Sizzling Cinnamon, Liquorice and Raspberry flavours.

My desks are now CLEAN. That includes the 7 drawers. I need to put up some inspiration on the walls to make them less boring (and to hide the stains and the dozen holes). I'll buy a few colourful magnetic white boards to draw on and stamp random things with huge colour magnets, and put up some metal string with a bunch of clips to hang pictures. I also need a coaster for the permanently present cup of tea, as well as a recycling bin, a shredder and a rubbish bin. But those things should not prevent me from getting started on anything else in the meanwhile. My computer has been cleaned up also. The "clean" folder has been emptied and deleted, and all my files are in many many folders and I like it that way.

♫ Next time I go out, I will buy bleach and orange dye. Amongst other things.

♫ I want to raid a Lush store. Unfortunately, I don't have a Lush store at hand. It'll have to wait until I go to Quebec city.

♫ I feel like reading the whole dictionary. Just because. And, you can never know too many words.

♫ I spend waaaaay too much time shopping online lately.

Also, for the gamingly-inclined, our dear friends from Square-Enix have decided to release Kingdom Hearts Re: Chains of Memories in America. The remake of the GBA title has been available as part of the Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix package in Japan since March 29th 2007. A bit slow on the NA market, Squeenix? In any case, it should be out 2008.12.02, without the Final Mix bonuses, of course.

I want to change my life, and that can't be done without efforts. There are things I need to do. Others I want to do. But they all have to be done for the same purpose: make me happier. Lots of hard work ahead. These are just a few things...

· Cut my hair and dye it a nice colour again

I have been neglecting my hair (and myself) a lot in the past months. It got rather longer than I'm used to, and 2" roots and faded black dye do not exactly look healthy nor do they improve self-confidence. I'm thinking of possibly putting it back to orange. Or maybe some reddish copper colour of some sort. And cutting it short and asymmetrical. Or something. I need something bright and funky.

· Clean my room so I can use the second desk

There are two desks in the room I currently use as an office/bedroom. The first has my computer on it, large piles of papers in and out of binders and books that should be put back on their shelves on both sides, with a small space to work in the middle. The other is occupied by the new, rather large printer-copier in a corner, and by unknown scattered items on the rest of the surface. I know I would be more productive if I had a clean and functional environment. I need to stop procrastinating and clean up already! Then I can really get to work.

· Make a nice header for the LJ layout of doom~

I really like the layout I have at the moment. I spent too much time searching for one I like and modifying the code to make it look this way. However, I still haven't taken the time to make a proper header. The test one is quite boring and isn't wide enough. I have to take care of this. I also need to make a custom mood theme and to fill the 35 userpics I'm allowed to have. I really like Kariya, but I would appreciate using some other images once in a while.

· Sort all the files in my computer

Part of creating a functional environment, obviously. Finding files is much quicker when they are properly stored in appropriately-named folders rather than carelessly dumped in the "clean up" folder on my desktop.

· Go vote and get Harper out of here

I don't usually care much about politics. I don't care much about Canada. I don't want to spend my life here. But I'd hate to see the place crashing down before I'm out, and with Harper playing dictator, probabilities of that happening are too high for my liking. I'm not sure of who I'd vote for, but as long as Mister Lets-Copy-the-Americans'-Mistakes gets kicked out of here, I'm all for it. I changed my address a bit late, but hopefully I'll get my government papers before October 14th...

· Fix my very neglected wardrobe

I've been buying very little clothes in the past years, and 99% of them are black. They're now also discolouring and ripping, because, having so few, I wear the same pieces constantly and wash them repetitively. I need more clothes. I don't even have half the "essential basics". I have clothes I don't wear because I just don't like them and/or don't feel right in them. And I need some colour. I'm aiming for some lime greens, golden yellows and light beiges, at least. I'm also in dire need of a new belt (mine is a zombie and should have been changed months ago). Actually, I should have more than one. I also need to seek some interesting accessories. Finding nice accessories that are boyish without being manly or falling too deep in the girls department is a rather difficult task however... Sunglasses, belts, ties, hats, (some) jewellery... what else?

· Complete two (or more) portfolio; one for Illustration, one for writing

Those are the two things I like to do. Sadly, when asked about it, I seldom find anything worth showing. I know I can do pieces I would proudly show. Again, procrastination is a major problem. I ought to try harder and work harder. I have a computer that works fine, I have a Wacom, I have a brand new printer, I have two scanners, I have tons of paper and pens and pencils of all possible sizes, I have a bunch of limited edition guides with art books for inspiration in both drawing and writing, and I have a brain that, as far as I know, doesn't have any serious damage that would prevent it from working in an acceptable manner. Once I clean up the desks, I'll also have space. I really don't have any acceptable excuse not to do it. And also, I'll be needing money in a very near future, and for that, I need to offer a product. If I can, I would love to do freelance work. I need to get to work fast, because freelancing is hard long work, but oh so rewarding.

· Sell my 3 boxes of unneeded items

I have been dragging these boxes of no-longer-used items for years. I need to get rid of them before I move again, and I am quite certain I could find many ways to use whatever money I could get from them. I have a few dozen Japanese magazines I bought while I was studying fashion design that are still sleeping in there. About 20 CDs of music I no longer listen to (mostly metal from my goth-teen days). A few DVDs of movies I'll never watch again. Books from my years in College that still have price tags on them. Magic cards and silver collection coins I could easily trade for art books and manga at the collector shop. Platform boots I wore only once because they're too big. And who know what else. I'll be getting rid of what I can when I go to Quebec city. The rest will probably end up on eBay, unless some of you want them (or know people who do).



And also, for a bit later, I want to either move back to Montreal, or move to Vancouver or Toronto. For the moment, I can't really afford it and I still need some time for "personal" work, but next Spring or Summer, it should be possible as long as I have some sort of income. I just need to make sure I do. And when I earn enough, I'd like to move somewhere else. I'm not sure where yet. Japan, no matter how much I like the place, is warm and sticky I'd need to learn the language enough to be fluent (which I am not at all). Same goes for South Korea. I don't care for United States; I'm not fond of the way they do things. Southern Australia might be interesting and would sure be a change of scenery. UK would probably be more likely; perfect temperatures, I don't mind rain much, and they have such nice buildings (in pictures, at least). Oxford looks positively lovely. But no matter, I'd have to go take a look first.

Well, gotta get to work if I want these things taken care of!

P.S.: I went to the market yesterday. I bought some yummy-looking raspberry jam and raspberry-chocolate spread. I need to try them.

P.P.S.: There is some sort of painfully annoying infection in the corner of my left eye. I hope it goes away soon. Last week it was in my right eye.

P.P.P.S.: I'm not putting this under a cut.

So, there it goes. For those who get mixed up by this, it's Axzens/Kuri here. I decided to get a paid account and finally make something of this place. I also changed the account name.

Why am I doing this? First, to try something out. Second, because, after thinking a lot about what is going wrong in my life, I decided I need to change it. Right now, as I am writing this, I am a very negative person. Now, I realise it and I admit it. And, admitting it is the first step towards solving the problem, right?

I deleted the old negative entries. I did read them all back one at a time, and it helped me realise how I currently only see and talk about the bad things that happen. I want this place to be a a collection of more positive events and thoughts. I want to be more positive. I know it'll help me go through the other bad bumps ahead in life, and help making them smaller and less frequent.

So, for those of you who want to support me, you are more than welcome! I'll need all the support I can get! I'll be glad if you want to keep reading. And also, don't hesitate in telling me about friends of yours, or telling friends of yours about me! As they say, you can never have too many friends, and since I shut myself out for so long, I have a lot of catching up to do...

Let's start this back on a good note!




P.S.: I'm making here 99% public again.