atomly (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} atomly) wrote,@ 2004-07-15 12:45:00 |
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holy jesus
i was just informed that marisa's pizza in northbrook has a "lo carb pizza." and by "lo carb pizza" they mean they replace the crust with sausage.
i kid you not.
sausage. instead of crust.
sausage crust.
i swear, this can't be real. wasn't this a joke on the simpsons?
just reading that makes me feel like i need a colonic.
my mind is being blown as i write this.
my friend told me a story about how one time, on a dare, he ordered two triple cheeseburgers from wendy's and stacked all six patties on top of each other, forming a veritable meatcube, and then, when attempting to eat it, had to give up because of a severe case of the "meat sweats."
i can only imagine what this would do to you.
sausage crust.
sausage topped with sauce, topped with cheese, topped with sausage.
"it's like a snake eating its tail."
"ouroborous?"
"i don't know what that word means."
i need to get myself to a tape recorder. i don't know what time zone you're in, but it's about a quarter to prank on my watch.
maybe i should ask if they'd make me an order of garlic cheese bread with sausage instead of bread.
my friend told me a story that was told to him by a promoter in italy. apparently, this promoter booked a prominent, fat, house dj from chicago whose initials are bw and his name rhymes with "oo illiams" ("ello, oo, ow ar oo ooing ooday?") and, after picking him up at the airport, took him out for dinner before the show. bw ordered a whole pizza for himself. for a topping, he requested an order of spaghetti with meatballs. he wanted a whole pizza, with a whole order of spaghetti on top, from an italian restaurant, in italy. at first the man who ran the restaurant was insulted, but apparently eventually relented and served it to him, whereupon he ate the entire thing. he ate an entire pizza with an order of spaghetti on top. that was his meal.
perhaps marisa's could sponsor this man's weight loss a la jared from subway. an atkins-friendly bw special. sausage-crust pizza topped with spaghetti fashioned out of slim jims or something. then, after the heart attack, he could have a comeback tour.
jesus. i want to die.
i was just informed that marisa's pizza in northbrook has a "lo carb pizza." and by "lo carb pizza" they mean they replace the crust with sausage.
i kid you not.
sausage. instead of crust.
sausage crust.
i swear, this can't be real. wasn't this a joke on the simpsons?
Homer:So, you think you know better than this family, huh? Well, as long as your in my house, you'll do what I do, and believe what I believe. [the camera pans to reveal that Homer is talking to Bart] So butter your bacon!here is their menu for proof.
Bart: Yes, father. [does so]
Lisa: Mom, Dad, my spiritual quest is over.
Homer: Hold that thought. [to Bart] Bacon up that sausage, boy.
Bart: Dad, my heart hurts. [Homer glares at him] Ohh. [wraps a slice of bacon around a sausage link and eats it]
Lisa: I'm a Buddhist!
Homer: What? That's it -- no more chat rooms for you!
just reading that makes me feel like i need a colonic.
my mind is being blown as i write this.
my friend told me a story about how one time, on a dare, he ordered two triple cheeseburgers from wendy's and stacked all six patties on top of each other, forming a veritable meatcube, and then, when attempting to eat it, had to give up because of a severe case of the "meat sweats."
i can only imagine what this would do to you.
sausage crust.
sausage topped with sauce, topped with cheese, topped with sausage.
"it's like a snake eating its tail."
"ouroborous?"
"i don't know what that word means."
i need to get myself to a tape recorder. i don't know what time zone you're in, but it's about a quarter to prank on my watch.
maybe i should ask if they'd make me an order of garlic cheese bread with sausage instead of bread.
my friend told me a story that was told to him by a promoter in italy. apparently, this promoter booked a prominent, fat, house dj from chicago whose initials are bw and his name rhymes with "oo illiams" ("ello, oo, ow ar oo ooing ooday?") and, after picking him up at the airport, took him out for dinner before the show. bw ordered a whole pizza for himself. for a topping, he requested an order of spaghetti with meatballs. he wanted a whole pizza, with a whole order of spaghetti on top, from an italian restaurant, in italy. at first the man who ran the restaurant was insulted, but apparently eventually relented and served it to him, whereupon he ate the entire thing. he ate an entire pizza with an order of spaghetti on top. that was his meal.
perhaps marisa's could sponsor this man's weight loss a la jared from subway. an atkins-friendly bw special. sausage-crust pizza topped with spaghetti fashioned out of slim jims or something. then, after the heart attack, he could have a comeback tour.
jesus. i want to die.
