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4 months later....
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Jan. 30th, 2006 @ 06:38 pm
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I've kind of given up on writing here, because it's become pointless for me. The people that want to keep up with me have my e-mail or AIM and talk to me there... or should anyway.
The reason for this post...
My friend Jason & his brother Josh run a music blog called Audio For Drinking. Starting today, I'm contributing to it. Jason posts a large variety of tracks, but I'll likely be sticking to hip-hop and drum & bass. I'm starting off with what I think is a blazing track (a bad pun you'll get when you visit). Keep an eye on the blog even when I'm not posting, Jason has a knack for digging up some hard to find mp3s. |
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Sep. 30th, 2005 @ 06:00 pm
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I've been thinking about this post all day. My job leaves me a lot of time to myself, so the hamsters get going pretty fast. I wanted this to be well thought out and introspective, but I had a shitty day. I had to work through lunch, without eating, so i have a headache and this may come off as crabby. I'm not sure anyone still reads this, but I thought writing this out would make me feel a bit better.
this is kind of a long one...
( Read more... ) |
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Aug. 28th, 2005 @ 01:07 am
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ugh, i'm in a foul mood. foul in all sorts of ways. i feel gross, and
sad, and lonely, and bored. what a l lovely way to start a week off.
I'd like to apply to several jobs a day this week, but i haven't had
someone call me for an interview since april. either my resume or cover
letter is completely jacked, so, maybe i'll luck into a new job.
i doubt it would be a good one, but at least different. if i do
get a call for an interview, i'll have to try & find a way to
actually get there, unless it's this week, since my work schedule is
7:30--4:30... maybe a 5pm interview? whatever, no point thinking
about a theoretical situation.
blah, enough. this has been the obligatory way too depressing late-august post that no one will read.
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barometric
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Aug. 8th, 2005 @ 04:10 pm
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I'm now working at a different building for the same site... except now i do mail instead of copy..
It's horrific. I hate doing mail, and the hours are way beyond what my body can handle. I'm exhausted all the time. Today was so busy and stressful that I had to cut my lunch short, and there were times i couldn't keep my hands steady. fucking awful. if they didn't want me to work for them, I wish they'd just fire me and get it over with. bleh.
I can't imagine doing this kind of shit-work for the next 40 years. I feel beat down, crushed and defeated. It feels like a giant weight on my lungs.
I think about going back to school, but I have no idea how i'd pay for it. also, as burned out as I am now, I can't imagine work *and* school. I just need to find a new job. If only someone would take a chance on me. I know I can learn to do anything, but I've apparently not learned how to get a job. I can't even get responses. Maybe it's my lack of experience, or something with my letter, but I really don't know. Employers don't call to say, "hi, we trashed your resume, because..."
one good thing, I did get the CDs I ordered from England... I also got my electricity bill,. It's over $100, and $35 more than last month, making me wish I didn't order the CDs from England. |
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Jul. 27th, 2005 @ 06:52 pm
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you have to enjoy the little things just to scratch through all the shit, so....
bumper sticker of the day:
"If you can read this, you're not the president." |
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I'm stealing this from Get Fuzzy, but if there is a truer phrase, please tell me:
"The world is not a totally evil place, there are always cats in pants."
Jul. 12th, 2005 @ 10:10 pm
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despite the boss being out of the office all day, I had one of those days where I just feel all blah and depressed. I spent way too much time thinking about the past *and* the future. Neither makes me happy, so both together was not good. I guess it kind of got spurred on by a friend telling me about a party she was at. Made me kind of regret not partying more in college, and wonder what the hell i'm gonna do with my life... as far as relationships go. I think I decided that i *must* have some naked fun again before i hit 30. 30 scares the crap out of me. I probably shouldn't worry about the future so much, but it's hard to think of ways out of a rut without relegating myself to activities i have no interest in (bars come to mind).
blah, i'm going to go lie on the couch now, because I'm bored, and sleepy, and don't feel like being productive
Jul. 11th, 2005 @ 09:54 pm
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it would be handy, really freakin handy if I could control my emotions better. Especially the way I feel about people i have no business (for lack of a better term) crushing on. no names here, and don't ask. i just had to get off my chest that i'm a bit annoyed with myself for being a colossal bonehead.
Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 11:57 pm
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You're the Tortured Intellectual!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.</p>You're sensitive, you're emotional, and you wonder why everyone else in the world exists on a different plane. You cannot eat, breathe, or sleep without analyzing each action to death. You're usually sombre, depressed, lethargic, but you can be nearly glad from time to time. You wear whatever you can find on your cluttered bedroom floor. You carry books, notepads, reading glasses with you wherever you go. You have friends, but only a few who truly get where you're coming from. You frequent coffee shops, libraries, and the less crowded bars. You're obsessed with past people, past ideas, past lives. You wish you could die and be reborn as Jack Kerouac.
this is only partially correct, but several of the quiz answers were kindas.
I thought I should get at least one entry up in June. I'd write more, but nothing ever happens. That's not a "woe is me" sentence. It's just fact, I don't get out and do much, so there's not really anything to write about.
I keep thinking about making another mix album, I think it's because somewhere deep down I want to produce *something*. I've been thinking about a soundtrack for a fictional movie. A movie of my life, what music would go in it. Then I think, fuck it, I'm the only one that would listen to it, so I'll just listen to more DJ Shadow, NIN & Tool cds.
Jun. 28th, 2005 @ 06:56 pm
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I just spent an hour at the grocery store and as I picked up my last item, they announce that the credit card system is down and they can only take cash or check. So there I am with a cart *full* of groceries, the first significant shopping i've done in a long while, and $10 in cash. I got in line just in case they got it fixed. I walked out with a birthday card for my dad and some cereal. =o(
I also want to make a mix cd, but have no reason to. If I'm just gonna make a mix for myself, I might as well just rip the tracks and play it on the computer. bleh
I've spent too much time this past weekend thinking about my future... love, work & life... and all I've come up with is that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
May. 31st, 2005 @ 07:36 pm
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i'm kind of in a sad mood. i'm not 100% sure why, but i'm going to
blame Law & Order, because there was a guy that was a big failure
and tried to kill himself by parking in front of a train and ended up
killing 12 people. dumbass.
i've decided to pull out the emo +/- list, even though I'm not quite prepared to type it.
+World Of Warcraft
+New Nine Inch Nails album
+Free lunch, even if it's sucky thin crust pizza hut cracker pizza
+Getting out of the office during the day
+Star Wars episodes 4-6
-Not getting anything done because of World Of Warcraft
-Not making any more mix tapes
-Getting out of the office because I have to load paper into copiers at other buildings
-Spending almost all my time alone when I'm not at work
-Star Wars Episodes 1-3 (I haven't seen 3, but after the CSPAN with blasters that ep 2 was, i'm not getting my hopes up
-Not being able to think of anything else for either half of my list
May. 18th, 2005 @ 11:18 pm
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I had to copy over a small bit of conversation I had with Chris earlier:
Me: In no particular order, I think the three biggest disappointments of my adult life are my 'career', my sex life, and the star wars prequels.
Chris: I'm more disappointed that I'm not driving a flying car..
May. 13th, 2005 @ 06:58 pm
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wow, it's been a while, and it's before work so it's not like I've got a crapload of time. I would like to update on me, and bitch about politics. we'll see if I can be coherent in a small space.
-Terri Schiavo: What the fuck were they thinking? "Culture of life" well... sometimes. Way back in the court case on her where it was decided what course of action should be taken (whose care she would be in, how likely she was to recover, etc) there were 6 doctors testifying for the court... her original doctor, 2 specialists chosen by the husband, 2 chosen by the parents and 1 chosen by the court. The interesting thing that was mentioned... stem cell research, which was even less advanced than today, was mentioned as the only realistic chance she'd have of recovery. At the time, they said the science wasn't nearly advanced enough, and it still isn't. If they really gave a damn about her or others in similar situations, they'd be working on getting stem cell research funded. I wouldn't hold it against them for cutting back earlier, people are allowed to change their mind, even though it was a stupid, stupid decision.
-Pope: I think Dan Savage said it best: "On one of his other visits to the United States the pope condemned an "[American] culture that seeks to declare entire groups of human beings . . . to be outside the boundaries of legal protection." That's rich coming from the man who ordered bishops here to oppose civil rights laws that protect gays and lesbians (including hate-crime laws), leaving us "outside the boundaries of legal protection." In 2003 a Vatican screed condemned not only gay marriage but also adoptions by gays and lesbians. Allowing us to adopt children, the Vatican said, "would actually mean doing violence to these children." (Hmm. Violence against children . . . perhaps we should defer to the Catholic Church's expertise on that subject?)." For the whole column, check out http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0515,savage,62908,24.html The pope also mentioned that he wanted to be kept alive as long as possible, assisted by machinery if necessary. You'd think if he was so sure about being god's emissary, he'd welcome release from the pain of the diseases that killed him and be looking forward to heading into heaven. hmmm.
-The Filibuster: all i have to say is... "hubris". The dems controlled congress for 40 years, and then the republicans started winning, and they think they'll never be in the minority again? They take this away, it'll bite them in the ass. I'm sorry they can't deal with getting merely 95% of what they want. Guess what guys... you can't claim the constitution is sacred if you're only going to mean part of it.
-and now me:
-Got my nine inch nails ticket in the mail. the show is next wednesday at the Fillmore, and it will be awesome. the only 2 times I saw them were at McNichols (the Nuggets' & Avalanche's old home)... so it's been a while. The smaller venue will be great. I'm 'cited.
-finally making the leap to mac. i'm so fucking over windows. my OS is the crappiest one ever, and XP is super, super lame. It's way more than I should be spending, but here is the computer that is being made for me, and is making me drooly and impatient:
Dual 2.3GHz PowerPC G5
1GB DDR400 SDRAM (PC3200) - 2x512
250GB Serial ATA - 7200rpm
16x SuperDrive double-layer (DVD+R DL/DVD±RW/CD-RW)
ATI Radeon 9650 w/256MB DDR SDRAM
I'm 'cited
-i am off all next week because of the nine inch nails album & concert (had vacation to use & didn't want to be tired at it, or the day after). I am also 'cited about that. woot. now I must get my ass ready for work.
Apr. 28th, 2005 @ 07:43 am
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quick update...
-Blueprint & Perceptionists albums are both excellent... in fact, the Perceptionists album is what I would call phenomenal.
-30" of snow did not keep me from calling in to my job that I hate. what the fuck? i gotta do something about this work ethic.
-It looks like I have a job interview wednesday, I shall call in "sick" and not feel guilty about it.
Apr. 11th, 2005 @ 06:36 pm
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bad, bad day... can't remember if i've mentioned it, but i'm at a new job site on the south side of town. it sucks, horribly. One guy is good to work with, and if it wasn't for him, i'm not sure i'd have learned anything yet. You can wear jeans, but they have to be neat, not torn at the bottom, etc. That's fine, i can understand that. So I bought some more jeans, which I now remember I mentioned in the previous entry. Well, one of the pairs, are apparently 'too light' because they're vaguely two tone. This is the second time I've worn the pants by the way. If my new nitpicky jerk of a boss had bothered to tell me the first time, I could've returned some of the pants. Had I done so, I could've gotten more groceries.
A staffing agency that someone I knew from a previous site sent me to (she's friends with a woman there) finally called me with some possible interviews. Originally they were supposed to be last friday... then maybe monday, then almost certainly tuesday. Well, now one position is filled, and the agent is still waiting to hear back from the other people. You know what's holding them back? The fact that I want to give 2 weeks notice. The agent understands totally, and she's really nice, it's her clients that are being dumb. I really, really hope I at least get a chance to interview with the client. My current job is so ridiculously awful and it makes me feel like crap inside & out.
one good thing, some new CD's showed up... Blueprint "1988" and The Perceptionists "Black Dialogue". Humpty Hump makes an appearance on the latter. I'll keep you posted.
Apr. 4th, 2005 @ 06:38 pm
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So... a quick extension on the previous post. The first single is being remixed by Photek, which is freakin awesome. I can't say it's a total shock, since both Reznor & Photek appeared as remixers on a David Bowie single (although not together). Also, I hear Dave Grohl drummed on several of the tracks, including the single. I'm not 100% sure on that though.
I also bought 4 pairs of jeans today from Nordstrom Rack. Nordstrom Rack is fantastic because it allows me to be label whore snooty *and* a good frugal jew-boy. =oP I am a big fan of jeans. I even found one pair with a short enough inseam, and that just rules.
Mar. 21st, 2005 @ 11:37 pm
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| » bite the hand |
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I finally heard one of the new nine inch nails tracks, the first single, "The Hand That Feeds". There was a short preview clip of it on some website, and I was a bit hesitant, but actually hearing the song, it's damn good. I'm quite excited about the concert on Weds 5/4, the day after the album comes out. They're here the day before also, but I wanted to have the opportunity to hear the album before the concert. The single, for lack of a better term, has very much of a pop sensibility in the fact that it's already stuck in my head. I know this is pretty much meaningless to those of you that read my LJ, so, that's all for now. Time to get my butt to work.
Mar. 16th, 2005 @ 07:51 am
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i hate everything
my life was a complete waste
my epitaph should read either "who?" or perhaps "finally"
I decided to take the other position (see below), and it will require even less intelligence than my current job. The only benefit to staying with my awful, awful company is that I won't have a gap where there's a lack of health coverage. I will likely hurt myself in my new position, but at least with physical pain, i will know exactly why it hurts, and knowing where the hurt comes from would be so completely refreshing. That, and knowing that it will eventually get better.
well, fuck, i'm going to go play world of warcraft because that makes the hours disappear. That alone is worth the money I pay.
Mar. 10th, 2005 @ 06:57 pm
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ok, so i've been remarkably unsuccessful at finding a new job... almost thought I had one but they chose someone else. I've been looking to move within my company as a result. I don't like being the "substitute teacher" of the document world. I don't like phones much, I don't like mornings much... and getting calls in the morning is not my cup of tea.
Today I checked out a different site, and I need to mull it over. I don't know if there will be any pay change, and obviously, that's a major factor. So the pluses and minuses:
(+)I get out of the copy center for a good part of the day
(-)I get out by having to drive to separate buildings
(+)I would get reimbursed for mileage
(-)My drive out south would be further than my drive downtown
(+)The drive is shorter (as far as time)
(-)The extra 100 miles a week could deteriorate my car even faster
(+)Free parking, near the building, and a much, much less chance of my car getting stolen
(-)My job, which currently has few mental challenges, would likely have fewer mental challenges
(+)There would be a lot of physical work because I'd be moving paper around, so I would get exercise.
(-)There would be a lot of physical work because I'd be moving paper around, and my back and shin were killing me from just walking around the areas I'd be taking care of the copiers
(+)I can wear jeans
(-)The jeans have to be in good shape, so I would have to find new jeans
(+)There is an on-site cafeteria (unsure of cost) and gym (which I think I'd be allowed to use)
(-)The client's offices are a giant sea of cubicles, and looking at the cubicles is really depressing.
I don't know if I have a deadline on my decision, but I'm guessing they'd prefer I made it this week...
So, any thoughts or questions?
Mar. 8th, 2005 @ 06:14 pm
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| » When noise isn't enough |
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Those of you who know me know i've had difficulties keeping my car secure. I think I may have found a solution to my problems. The following ad is, I'm guessing, from a local car dealership in some city. It is a far superior commercial to any I saw during the superbowl. Although I did miss the Burt Reynolds commercial. Why don't more advertisers remember that monkeys are hilarious.
Car security for the 21st century
I haven't had any issues with road rage, but for those of you that have, or live in areas where you're likely to run into it (i.e. Southern Cali), this same dealership offers this option.
Don't yell at people, you never know...
Enjoy!
Feb. 16th, 2005 @ 05:39 pm
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