Grindhouse Dreams

A blog entry starting out with 'I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN FAGS LOOK AT MY PAGE" is a SURE way to get yourself *rapidly* deleted from my friends list. I was raised by drag queens and I am PROUD that I can perfectly apply liquid eyeliner in a speeding car on pot-hole laden back country roads and dance til dawn on an hour's worth of sleep and a couple of mountain dews. And run in platform heels. So guys, be flattered when a gay guy checks you out, even if it's just a glancing page view. That usually lets you know that you are moderatly attractive and have passable hygeine in photos. Same goes for you females. Only, for some inane reason, girl-on-girl action is a tad more sociably acceptable for some reason. Blame it on annoying pop diddies.

Also, never sign into a social networking site when drunk. It will usually result in a near ruined career or relationship within the space of ten minutes and three phone calls/blog entries. Or a nearly broken toe when you pitched forth headlong into the desk, while wearing a feather boa and singing a random ABBA tune. Not like I know first-hand, or anything.

And no, I myself have no idea why I'm awake at Oh Jesus fucking Christ thirty in the morning, either.

I had a bloody wonderful time yesterday. And engaged in stupid touristy behavior. I made a good effort not to, but once we got to the aquarium, I ran around like a complete idiot.

The albino alligator I saw when I was 8 is still there. He was less than three feet long then...now he's big enough to eat small children. The horseshoe crab petting tank in the kid's section is gone, replaced with sting rays. As I adore stingrays, it was great. There was a veritable flock of them in the tank, nearly all of them floated over to me, the rest of them splashing kids in the face because they tried to grab them rather than let them drift under their fingers. Parents were getting mad at me, so I only spent a few minutes there.

The aquarium has also expanded it's seahorse and jellyfish exhibits, so I spent a good two hours running all over the place, staring at things, ooh-ing and ahh-ing and taking a few pictures.







The only reason I got to tag along is because my friend's cousin was in town, and he wanted to go. My friend avoids New Orleans like the plague, so I got to play tour guide. So while he was at an investor meeting, his cousin made me take him to Bourbon Street. I HATE Bourbon Street with a purple passion. But I played nice and didn't drag him to Oz. At some point I was given a Hand Grenade, possibly the most touristy beverage since the Hurricane. Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a sour look on my face, giving the finger. However, the high alcohol content soon took hold, so I didn't walk into a bar and strangle someone. We back-tracked to Jackson Square, and I was very much relieved. While we waited for my friend, his cousin and I had a nice time looking at the art hung up on the square, and I even ran into a few people I knew when I lived there. So it was actually nice to be a tourist for a day and see the city through sober eyes.

All in all it was a great trip, and I had a chance to prove to my friend's cousin that not all southerners are drunk, armed, and stupid. Unless there's a hurricane or it's hunting season. ;)

Road trips rule. My friend, his cousin and I are all heading to New Orleans for the day. There will be NO beads, hand grenades or other touristy silliness.

I'm so glad I've no lack of absolutely wonderful guy friends, else I'd lose all faith in the male gender.

Sorry, but my inner crotchety 80 year old man sitting on his porch with a shotgun is feeling particularly cantankerous tonight, and I'm convinced I will die the crazy old lady at the end of the street with all the spiders.

Why oh why can I not seem to find someone who kicks as much ass as I do and who wants to raise spider children together?

George Carlin taught me how to curse properly when I was 5. He will be missed.

So I'm in a BPAL mood again. Have any of my fellow addicts tried out Veil or Sybaris? I'm looking for something with a very strong violet note and I really can't pick between the two. Other suggestions are certainly welcome.

Taken from docbrite's LJ. Some things I changed, others I didn't because we call them the same thing.

Regional Dialect Meme


(keep in mind I hail from Jackson, Mississippi, and my family is from the Delta and Arkansas)



What do you call:

1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks.

Creek, or as some pronounce it "crik"

2. What the thing you push around the grocery store is called.

Buggy

3. A metal container to carry a meal in.

Lunchbox

4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in.

Skillet (black, cast-iron, and soap NEVER touches it. Soak it in scalding water for 10-15 minutes and scrub)

5. The piece of furniture that seats three people.

Couch

6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof.

Rain gutter (gutters are the things on the street)

7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening.

Porch (covered denotes screening surrounding it)

8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverage.

Coke (no matter what brand or flavour)

9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup.

Pancakes

10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself.

Po-boy

11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach.

Trunks

12. Shoes worn for sports.

Tennie-shoes (pron. tinny) (weird translation of tennis shoes)

13. Putting a room in order.

Straightening up

14. A flying insect that glows in the dark.

Lightening bug

15. The little insect that curls up into a ball.

Rolly-polly

16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down.

See-saw

17. How do you eat your pizza?

Pick it up, roll it in half at the top, take a bit from the bottom, etc. etc.

18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?

Yard sale

19. What's the evening meal?

Supper

20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?

We didn't have a lot of those in my neighborhood. Basement, I guess?

21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?

Water fountain

22: If something is diagonally located, where is it in relation to you?

Catty-corner

23. What do you call the place where the water comes out of the sink?

Faucet if it's nice and/or remodeled, sink if it's old and spits at you when you turn it on

Happy Holy Zombie Day!

Yeah, it's THAT day.

What I have to say is all in the pics. The DeltaGun crew had St. Patrick's Day/Night show Saturday at Sam's Lounge. Some of us there don't consider being called a "mick" an insult.




( What I REALLY think. NWS due to profanity on my shirt. )

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

New, albeit blurry pictures of my eight-legged children. My cell phone camera leaves something to be desired, as does my current lack of photo editing software. One of these days, I'll have my computer hooked up again and will not want for editing. Really.

Aoife, my G. pulchra demanded new pics after her molt. And Claudia, my G. rosae just wanted to roam about my bed looking fierce.

X-posted to a couple of tarantula and pet communities. Sorry for the cruddy qualities, but I am ever a servant of my eight-legged dears.

( blurry eight legged beasties lurk behind the cut )

I am now gainfully employed. I've been waiting to say that for weeks. I simply didn't want to jinx myself.

I start Monday.

Starting pay is reasonable...it's much better after a two week training/probationary period. The wages are MUCH better than waiting tables or starting pay at my other failed job prospect.

In the middle of all of this I am moving. Moving, packing, sweating, cursing, crunched for time. I am blissfully happy I am again employed, however.

So much to do in so short of a span of days, but it can be done.

Mum made us all go to church this past Sunday.

It was hilarious, yet it made me rather sleepy. I chewed on altoids the whole time and contemplated slipping off to the bathroom to masturbate, as I was once wont to do when I was a much younger hooligan, with no illusions of being a lady. Indeed I was that bored.

I came home to see this. Fauz newz makes me giggle. Cthulhu is a mod. What do you expect? Some do it for the lulz. I do it for the /b/itchez.

( Dear Fox News... )

525+ pages of The Book down.

Harry Potter and the Wii ate my weekend.

I just got back to the house after a lovely weekend at Casa de birdofparadox.

I'll post pics of us tomorrow, promise. =*>

This entry comes to you by way of birdofparadox's s00p3r sexy Mac mini. We are having a weekend of supreme slacktasticness. The Wii is also addictive, and I'm rather impressed with the fact that I don't uterly suck at the "Tony Hawk's Downhill Challenge" game. The bowling game isn't bad, either. In short, I am surrounded by beautiful, sleek, sexy technology. Yum.


Last night was reserved for Harry Potter madness and what was the equivalent of a Potter pub crawl with nighsahade, birdofparadox and I. Barnes & Noble, Lemuria, and Books-A-Million were graced by our presences. birdofparadox was got up as Tonks and I as Bellatrix. Lemuria turned out to be a bust and there were horridly snotty people there, so back to Books-A-Million we went, as that was where our reserved copies were. Barnes & Noble wasn't bad, just not terribly fun.

As for the book, I've read the first chapter. PLEASE no spoilers that aren't cut-tagged with warnings, people. I haven't touched LJ for a couple of weeks because things were spoiled for me with the movies and books before. Not to mention the asshole gang of teenagers who drove away hanging out a car window, screaming spoilers. Jerks.

There are a decided lack of Slytherins here in Mississippi. Except for a rather cute piece of jailbait in a Slytherin school uniform and I, that is. ;)

I feel kind of sad that this is the last book; sort of the end of an era. I know by the end of it, that something or other will make me cry, and laugh, and want to hurl the book across the room.

birdofparadox has started making earrings to accompany her beautiful necklaces.

You can see all of her work and place an order at
Birdofparadox.com

"Now hang me out to dry...you've wrung me out too,too, too many times
now hang me out to dry...i'm pearly like the white, the whites of your eyes..."

I've been listening to the the Cold War Kids most of the day.

This past weekend saw me attending my first and second sweat lodge, held by the Ewings in Lena, MS. It was beyond description, and I feel as if I have everything and nothing to say about it. The only downside was me brushing up against a poison ivy plant and almost being carted off by chiggers.

Sunday found me in hives, and Monday I was at the doctor's office. Prednasone may work very well and my legs are no longer solid red, but it wreaks havoc on my emotional state. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I spent alternately cleaning my house and crying over very stupid things with the least provocation. I was not good company for a few days.

Aoife molted three days ago, and she's now 4 years old and the most beautiful shade of blue black...she puts velvet to shame. I'm so proud of my little spider girl.

My wee house is going to take a lot more work before I'm satisfied, and it'll be at least two months before I feel comfortable throwing a party. I plan to have the be-all end-all of summer parties around September.

I wish everyone a lovely Solstice. Or just a lovely first day of summer. Whichever you please.

When the humidity here in Jackson is merely 20%, it makes the news. As does something involving a dead person and bleach. I can't say I love this town, even while I may as well be a native, but sometimes, it can be perversely amsusing.

"Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it."--Quentin Crisp

I swear I've aged ten years in the past two days. Thankfully by now I've learned a little "creative accounting", so all payments and accounts have been settled and all is well again. Not before massive cold sweats, headaches and a few near heart-attacks, but still, at least it's done.

The Postal Service and I are not friends anymore. Next time, I'll use FedEx or something comparable. Many, many apologies to chris_walsh.

No one told me being even a semi-responsible adult could be so...interesting. I think my user manual got lost in the mail.

It's been a hell of a month, and a LOT has happened, some rather unpleasant things regarding relations, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm fairly sure by now it isn't a train.


However, the end of my relative troubles are near an end. I'm moving by my myself into a house in a couple of weeks, after I do some late spring cleaning. It's really a fixer-upper, but it will be *mine*. It's the house I grew up in, and my mom still owns the property. I can't wait. I have *plans* for my wee little house.

And thank you for all the kind comments regarding my last post. I wasn't fishing for compliments, it's just a few of you had requested a recent pic. Thank you very very much for all the compliments and kind words, though. It warmed my shriveled little charred heart. ;)

The most current picture of me, circa 5/10/07.
I was trying out ideas for the JFP Chick Ball one night, so I stuck a feather pick on either side of my head. I later put them in my hat, which looked much better. However, I don't have that picture.

Bad lighting follows, as this was taken with my crappy cell phone camera in a room with one lightbulb. I don't currently have any image editing software(and I don't have any photoshoppe mojo), else it wouldn't look so...murky.

Edit:
birdofparadox edited photo.


( (Not So)Bad Lighting )

My mom had a medical scare today, but thankfully everything is ok. I was sweating bullets for 6 hours, however.

Herbert the killer beetle is dead. Long live Herbert.

Most of my day was spent shampooing carpets and generally making the house a more hygienic place to live while trying not to freak out over my mum. Living with 4 dogs is getting old fast, no matter how much I like them. I'm glad I don't let the dogs in my room. The dogs are scared of the rats, actually. Kaiser, my cousin's HUGE rottweiler, has to be one of the biggest babies I've ever seen. He sheds a puppy a day.

I would not pay $0.02 for Marilyn Manson's latest album. I heard all of it on MySpace and I am thoroughly unimpressed after The Golden Age of Grotesque, which rocked. Roll your eyes all you want, but on occasion, he does write a great rock song. Eat me, Drink Me is a slow album, and just doesn't go the distance, sonically. I still can't believe he cheated on a hottie like Dita with a rather untalented piece of jailbait. wtf, gtf0.

I finally got up the nerve to post a comment on greygirlbeast's journal. A Placebo song made me do it.

I've come to either look forward to or loathe my periods of learning a few of life's harsher truths. I can fall flat on my face and refuse to move, or adapt and survive.
I go on and "walk it off" as long as I have a few good tunes being jacked into my ear by sexy Mac headphones. I'd have an ipod implanted if I could.

4chan makes me want to wash my eyes out with bleach at least a weak. Cthulhu is a mod, I'm sure. Madness and "creative" japanese porn lives there.

My weekend was really good for once. Not too much drama. I got to make sure
birdofparadox's furry family had someone to chill with while she and Matthew were away. Sammy, Duck, and The professor all watched Penn & Teller half the night with me.
Check out her rock-ass handmade nest necklaces
here. I love the green in "Snug robins."

My head has been stuck in "I, Lucifer" by Glen Duncan and the Sandman "Season of Mists" graphic novel.

And finally, I battled an enourmous beetle roosting on my porch. It looked rather like Mr. Gorey's The Black Bug". This thing was fierce, with antennae. It looked as if it would mercilessly attack your small toe. I'm keeping it in a jar. I may name it "Herbert."

Snakes and bugs, relatives, mississippi heat, and watered down kool-aid. My, do you think it could be summer yet?

LJ just attmepted to eat this entry, so I think I'll call it a night before my words slip off into the tides of words and coding of the cybernetic ocean just yet.

Edit: link fixed. My html was a bit rusty.

Jackson Free Press is hosting the 3rd Annual Chick Ball tonight. Hope to see some of the Jackson crew there. =*>



"JFP's 3rd Annual JFP Chick Ball on Thursday, May 17, in Hal & Mal's Red Room. This one will be the biggest Chick Ball, yet, with a full grrl-music line-up, an art auction, and lots of surprises. Starting this year, we'll be crowning the Diva of Bling (wear your shiniest outfit to compete) and choosing our Official Arm Candy, so guys, dress your best! Only $5 cover/$10 to qualify for door prizes.

All proceeds (other than for the bar) go to the Center for Violence Prevention to help abused families."

New poem up on my poetry journal, nimeu.

I haven't updated in a long while because, up until the last month, I didn't have anything to say that wasn't dripping with negativity. I learned "if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all" at age 4 from Bambi. Through the years(and it's so weird to write that) this journal has been a collection of bitching, ranting, and seething with various emotions. Truth is, after keeping this journal up for 5 years, I'm just a little tired.

You, dear readers and friends, have seen me go through school, therapy, rehab, deaths, and a hurricane. What a long strange trip it has indeed been. So I took a couple of months to step back from it all, measure it up, and figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. At 25, I'm feeling more than a little worse for wear. The past five years, my adventures and mistakes have been the best, the worst, and by far the most interesting period of my life. And they have left me feeling old, grizzled and tired. Then I realized I have (hopefully) years ahead of me and that relatively, I have little to complain about. More than a few lightbulbs have turned on above my head, and a few exploded.


Though I never thought about deleting my journal, I have given serious thought to letting it go, and just leaving the archive as proof of all I've survived. Thankfully, I never cared about LJ popularity, or I would have scrapped this journal a LONG time ago.

So I suppose I'm back. I really am quite sorry I've missed so much of your lives in the past few months. I wish I had the time to read the archives of everyone's journal, but unfortunately, I don't.

So, onward with the grand show.

I also have enabled the text message feature, now that I have a much better phone, so text away.

"uh babe, schwing dein Teil" just sounds dirty. It sounds like something a really hot little German boy would whisper in your ear at a club. ;*>

It's a lyric from "Schwinger" by a band called Seeed, from their album Next! Seeed is apparently a German reggae band. As usual, I'm late to the music scene and they have several albums out; only a couple available domesticly. I heard "Ding" over at my friend Morgan's, and looked them up. It's neo-dancehall reggae. A nice way of saying *ahem* booty music. If foreign/reggae/dancehall is your thing, I'd suggest them.

For now, I'm off to go work my magic with the BabelFish and translate some German.

I swear I saw the ghost of Hunter S. Thompson walking on the side of the road this morning, sighted during my morning drive to school.

Today dawned very foggy and muggy. I could barely see three carlengths ahead of me. Is muggy a word outside of the south? At any rate, I usually drive to school in the morning with one eye half open and imbibing some form of caffeine. Today was no different. Except out of the fog came an old gentleman walking on the side of the road(residential area, not interstate) this morning. He was wearing a white "Gilligan's Island" sort of hat and green slacks, and no kidding, a seersucker shirt. And he was smoking a cigarette. I flashed on "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" briefly. I didn't dare stop, as you never know when you are entering Bat Country.

Perhaps I am too easily amused in the mornings.

Wow. I don't think I've ever let my journal lapse this long. I still haven't had the time nor the room to set my own computer up, so there is that as well.

Spring Break went by entirely too fast. I spent most of it on the coast, violently sick. I ended up at the doctor last Thursday, dehydrated and 7 pounds lighter. Nothing like the stomach flu diet. Thankfully, the pair of Balrogs that had taken up residence in my stomach vacated around Saturday.

I also turned 25 during my LJ silence. Five years away from 30, and five years in which to become a semi-responsible adult. Kinda scary.

Time to rush off to class. Meh.

But anyway, still alive!

Wishing everyone a very happy Valentine's Day.

Yesterday was an adventure.

I drove down to Picayune Friday night to collect my computer and a few stray boxes. Pan's Labyrinth was playing at Canal Place in New Orleans. Thus begins the rain-sodden trek. My roommate nearly gave me a heart attack driving to NOLA at 75mph in the pouring rain. I was quite sure we were going to hydroplane. Thankfully, we made it in one piece. I then proceeded to walk six blocks with the rain spitting in my face and soaking me through just to get to the Lush store. Why no, I'm not an addict, not me. ;) I bought a bar of Coalface and a Cupcake fresh face mask and the lovely people that work there loaded me down with samples. Then six more blocks in the rain to the theatre. We had a few minutes before the movie started, and a Starbuck's was downstairs. What followed was the most disappointing cup of coffee I've ever had. While Starbuck's is in the middle as far as my wonderful coffee experiences, I've never had anything from there that was terrible. Until yesterday. My mocha tasted like dirt, which made me very sad, as I needed a good cup of coffee, as I was feeling rather like a drowned rat.

Pan's Labyrinth was a beautiful film. ( Possible spoilers ahead. )

The rain had cleared up by the time we left the theatre. We stopped for dinner at a nifty little Greek/Italian place in Slidell. The hummus was the best I've ever had. I ordered a veal cutlet as well, which was heavenly. However, it was also very hot, and I ended up with a blister in my mouth. Some would say thats what I get for eating dead baby cow, but I am unapologetic.

We arrived home, and I immediately went to the bathroom to take my makeup off with my Lush stash. The Cupcake masque was lovely, and smelled like very high-end chocolate with sandlewood. I left it on for 15 minutes instead of 10. it smelled that good, and comparable to Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs perfumes. It took some effort not to lick it off of my face. It's pricey but worth it, and seems to have taken care of my flaky winter skin. If you live near a Lush store, you owe yourself one of their fresh face masks. They are *wonderful*. So all in all, I had a very good, albeit interesting day.

Today is reserved for the trek back to Jackson, and homework.

Ok, enough with filler content.

I've moved back to Jackson and am currently living out of boxes. The rats and spiders were thankfully none the worse for wear after a lengthy car trip.

This was the first week of school. I registered last week, but most of the choice time slots were already taken for most of my classes, and two of them are at O God-thirty in the morning. Chemistry at 7:30am tomorrow. Ugh. But at least I am no longer at Redneck U.

birdofparadox and I both had an appointment with Lynn at Headgames today, so we both have fantastic hair. I refused to "cheat" on the best stylist I've ever had, so my mane was a bit shaggy, to say the least. She gave me wonderful chunky asymmetrical rockstar hair. I need to re-dye the blue bits, however.

For those of you that are local, try to get to Martin's this Saturday at 10. Mississippi bluesman LC Ulmer will be playing. I'm a bitch for blues. Also,Cedric Burnside(R.L.'s grandson)will be playing the 2nd of February, also. Martin's may be a bit of a dive, but it's a great venue if you're into blues. I prefer Fenian's for drinks, however.

And yet more filler content....

Meme Rules:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don't make sense.

Questions:

How are you today?
Black Milk

What about yesterday? How was that?
All Apologies

What does the number one person on your friends list feel about you?
Interzone

How was high school?
Fire On Babylon

If you had one piece of advice to people what would it be?
Dante's Prayer

How is your life going so far?
Closer

How are you going to die?
Sympathy For The Devil

You're trying to work out and what song comes on?
Stand Inside Your Love

Whats your birthday wish?
Running To Stand Still

You tell your best friend that you are in love with them, they respond:
This Is Your Life

Your war yell is:
The Man Comes Around

What song will be played at your funeral?
Sleeping Beauty

You walk in on your parents having sex, the first thing you say is:
Spiders

You walk in on your friends having sex, the first thing you say is:
Sober

Your last words are:
Peeping Tom

What do your friends really think about you?
Awful

What does your mom really think about you?
Landing

What about your dad?
The Reflecting God

What is your current theme song?
Walking To You

What do your friends think your theme song should be?
Cold Contagious

What does that person you have a crush on you really think of you?
Karma Coma

What type of men/women do you normally go for?
Ring Of Fire

You are at Heavens gates, what does the man at the gate tell you?
Turn My Head

The first load of boxes is packed up and ready for my return trek to Jackson tomorrow. The spiders are already cursing my name, as they hate bumpy car rides. I'll be sure to appease them with crickets tonight. I'm surprised by how much stuff I've accumulated in the past year.

After a semester at Redneck U and living in the sticks, I've decided to move back to Jackson. Jackson may be a black hole and the Bermuda Triangle of the south, but at least there is my best mates, yoga, a gym, sushi, and Vietnamese food. And I won't have to drive a minimum of 30 miles anymore to have any of those things.

This year, I'm looking forward to yoga with birdofparadox, getting back in shape(I want abs of steel, damnit!), continuing school, and hanging out at Fenian's.

Hopefully by the time I arrive, my package from BME (I ordered new ear adornment)will be waiting for me, and possibly my copy of Daughter Of Hounds by Caitlin R. Kiernan.

By the way, if you haven't heard of Shiny Toy Guns yet, you are missing out on an electronica-laced joy ride for your ears.

Lovecraft Christmas

Happy Holidays from your favourite eldritch evil!

New makeup: $15
Three mojitos: $25
Singing "Love Shack" with your best mates in front of strangers: Priceless

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

I found it to be a bit maddening personaly. This was after I had observed one of my cousins, sitting about in a recliner after dinner, in a wifebeater tank top, shorts,and socks watching football. Needles to say, he "got comfortable" after dinner. I wanted to plant a PBR can in his hand, then his look would have been complete. I invoked my cut and run stratagem and left yesterday. I think everyone has their own mortifying family moments during the holidays, however. After all, it's tradition. ;)

Tool album artwork tattoo

This tattoo was done at Animal House Tattoo in Pearl, Mississippi by artist Jayson McDaniel. The same place where Pig(the owner) did my chevron wrist tattoos.

I might just get some more ink over the holidays.

( My Interests Collage! )