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LiveJournal for Ame.
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| Friday, February 29th, 2008 |
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it is strangely metaphorical that i have years of acquired art boxed up and unframed and not (rightfully) displayed to the world... something about deciding how and why things should make sense and not being ready yet. |
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| Thursday, August 23rd, 2007 |
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i just found out that my good friend and roommate has received emergency mobilization orders to deploy to iraq months earlier than anticipated. she planned her police academy around getting deployed in february (at the earliest) and now may have to do the academy over again if she leaves before she completes (even tho her graduation is in the middle of sept.) what this all boils down to is more selfless troops getting screwed by a war that should never have even been warranted. in a fit of rage and near-tears, i went to the whitehouse webpage and sent this little letter in via the "ask the president" forum (which only posts questions re: the bird flu, etc. asshole censors): * * * * * * * Mr. Bush, How many more innocent lives are we going to upheave/end early due to this ridiculous excuse of a war? Friends that I have graduated with are now permanently brain damaged... or dead. My roommate and dear friend has just received emergency mobilization orders that will send her to Iraq months earlier than expected, and my best friend will be deploying as a US Marine Officer on a moments notice. These people signed up for the US Armed Forces to protect our country. Why are we wasting their selflessness, our national defense, and innocent lives on a war that was started over lies, misguided information, and poor national intelligence? Stop this war now or go fight there yourself and spare our troops. Sincerely, Amie Montemurro PS: The anticipated lack of response to this letter will only further prove that you and your administration do not uphold the fundamental principle that our country was founded on: a government for the people and by the people. * * * * * * * go ahead, US government. put me on a watch list. it will only make me want to fight the good fight from the inside even more. just wait until i'm elected into some kind of office.... this rage will not subside: i am a force to be reckoned with. |
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| Saturday, February 24th, 2007 |
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seeking relief from commitment in all senses they find solace through wanderlust. they connect on jagged levels... (she found a five minute soul sister on her way to the other coast.) just a recollection, a minor proof, that connection remains possible, if not plausible. it's the cause without effect that dulls them... the distain for the desired ADD, the known anonyminity, the grasping at dualities (even when two options never seem like enough) the pressure builds. the risks culminate into fear or the probability of greatness. it's the precipice that keeps the adrenaline flowing. it's the unknown that seduces these souls. |
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late at night (mostly) overwhelming premonitions swim within the dark visions of limbs wrapped around the wrong lover... imagining slow dancing cheek to cheek unable to speak over the too-loud thoughts of 'what ifs' and 'where is he?' how can i so clearly see my future tense glazed over glance? how can i let myself fall from love and into a trance out of fear and loathing? floating through love songs meant for another, wondering if a double agent heart can ever resist the sanguine, bittersweet, comfort of splitting apart... i turn away and revel in what is known vs. what could be. (this is completely raw and rough, but it had to come out. feedback would be awesome. if this gets to someplace decent, i would love to try it as spoken word or with some music. thoughts = muchly appreciated.) |
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| Wednesday, February 7th, 2007 |
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it's been so long since i've felt like i've had something meaningful to say. i'm in this bizarre, limbo-like place where i do not feel committed to anything or anyone (with the few exceptions of close family/friends...) it is all at once liberating and completely frightening. (i've been trying to focus on the "liberating" part). i've become such a relativist. i'm losing my edge, but do i even want to be sharp? i think i rely on being defined more by where i am, environmentally, than by who i am, internally. (if i could just get into cornell, i would be in a place where i can finally do some good, make the most of myself... if i could just be somewhere warm and sunny i wouldnt be so cold/sleep so much.... etc. etc. etc.) but who's to say that i won't be the same as i am here. why do i have so much potential and ambition and so little commitment and motivation? i'm on the precipe of a complete funk or complete bliss. it's just time to grab hold of my potentially spiraling out of control life... jim called me today to share some great, philisophical enlightenment (i am so lucky to be a person who has friends like this...) "the greatest regenerative power of the soul is not finding light to stave off darkness, but turning the darkness into light. In this way it's not so much a fight, as it is a transformation. It's not pushing away part of oneself; it's accepting, realizing, understanding, knowing." amen. |
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| Thursday, November 2nd, 2006 |
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thankful for gentle reminders settling restlessness consumes and removes any trace of self or self confidence. the old self (known for: wanderlusting completely and a heart that beats too big) sighs freely and says: "seeking completeness is no easy task." (so, rest and then go!) in other news, i am tired and broken but seeking recovery from the latest soul-ache (which is more than some can say) which is, to say, that i may be okay in just a little bit... |
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| Friday, September 8th, 2006 |
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DancinAme: negative, batman warped0ne: jim warped0ne: JIM warped0ne: not batman. warped0ne: unless i can call you "Penguin" DancinAme: i prefer catwoman DancinAme: rawr warped0ne: it's funnier cause penguin isn't sexy. warped0ne: he's awkward, and has blue-toned skin warped0ne: and has flippers. warped0ne: you'd be silly with flippers DancinAme: i give you beautiful poetry all night long DancinAme: and you picture me with flippers DancinAme: thanks, jim. thanks. warped0ne: SILLY flippers. warped0ne: like "be your own person, feed your soul" flippers. warped0ne: not like "corporate, working for the man" flippers. DancinAme: oh DancinAme: thats better DancinAme: thanks for the clarification warped0ne: like.... if Lloyd Dobbler had flippers... he'd have the same ones i picture you with. |
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| Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 |
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public service announcement: work sucks much, much less when you rock out to a mix cd of michael jackson hits ranging from "i want you back" to "you rock my world" enjoy today! |
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| Sunday, June 11th, 2006 |
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sometime's i forget how awesome my life is... and then i spend a weekend with my friends and i remember very clearly. thanks:) |
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| Saturday, June 10th, 2006 |
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today,one of our security guards at work called me a "sameil" (which, apparently, is some kind of hot dessert whirlwind which touches down, shakes things up, and leaves as quickly as it comes in). he reminded me that i can be a wild, impulsive, care-free spirit... which is a side that i've been missing (desperately). and the best part is, he said it with such an amused admiration. it made me want to embrace my insanity and run around screaming, "screw you, bank account! screw you, ten year plan! i am a free spirit and i LOVE IT and being grown up won't change a damn thing!" so, basically, gossiping with a 50 year old security officer in my office this afternoon changed my whole outlook on life. awesome. |
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| Monday, June 5th, 2006 |
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Lines For The Fortune Cookies by Frank O'Hara I think you're wonderful and so does everyone else. Just as Jackie Kennedy has a baby boy, so will you--even bigger. You will meet a tall beautiful blonde stranger, and you will not say hello. You will take a long trip and you will be very happy, though alone. You will marry the first person who tells you your eyes are like scrambled eggs. In the beginning there was YOU--there will always be YOU, I guess. You will write a great play and it will run for three performances. Please phone The Village Voice immediately: they want to interview you. Roger L. Stevens and Kermit Bloomgarden have their eyes on you. Relax a little; one of your most celebrated nervous tics will be your undoing. Your first volume of poetry will be published as soon as you finish it. You may be a hit uptown, but downtown you're legendary! Your walk has a musical quality which will bring you fame and fortune. You will eat cake. Who do you think you are, anyway? Jo Van Fleet? You think your life is like Pirandello, but it's really like O'Neill. A few dance lessons with James Waring and who knows? Maybe something will happen. That's not a run in your stocking, it's a hand on your leg. I realize you've lived in France, but that doesn't mean you know EVERYTHING! You should wear white more often--it becomes you. The next person to speak to you will have a very intriquing proposal to make. A lot of people in this room wish they were you. Have you been to Mike Goldberg's show? Al Leslie's? Lee Krasner's? At times, your disinterestedness may seem insincere, to strangers. Now that the election's over, what are you going to do with yourself? You are a prisoner in a croissant factory and you love it. You eat meat. Why do you eat meat? Beyond the horizon there is a vale of gloom. You too could be Premier of France, if only ... if only... PS: thank you, miss patty, for this introduction:) |
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| Wednesday, May 31st, 2006 |
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EDIT: The backstory to this little exceprt of conversation = my old, old hopeless romantic friend was telling me that he was giving up on that movie-like love... and he was just going to settle down for settling down's sake. And I maintain that love can be amazing, through and through, until you are old and wrinkled together. nothing more, nothing less. (apologies for any confusion) an old, old friend: Amie Lynn Montemurro an old, old friend: you're a lot like myself an old, old friend: and thats not a good thing me: a stubborn ass? me: you betcha an old, old friend: no...you want a movie me: hahaha me: amen me: and im not settling me: I REFUSE an old, old friend: you want the guy to hold the radio outside your window me: and there's nothing wrong with that |
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| Tuesday, May 9th, 2006 |
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i spent most of college missing high school. i've spent all of grad school missing college... i'm not complaining. just telling the truth. (i miss you, college and college friends.) june 17th can't come soon enough! |
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| Sunday, April 23rd, 2006 |
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been listening to this really fun song a lot lately and i realized it makes me think alot of my steveo.... here ya go, buddy. maybe one day i'll learn how to play it and replace the name "jenny" with "stee-eeve" or "steveo" or "estaban-o" or whatver your rock star name is @ the time:) "met up with a friend last night... she invited me to come and stay the night but only just to sleep so i said alright if its gonna be you and me we'll stay up all night and get lost in each other's fantasies and i woke up oh about a quarter past seven i thought i died in my sleep and gone to heaven cause when i oppened up my eyes i saw you dancing in the rain and i thought it was an angel there just dancing in my brain, my brain, my brain yeah, i can see you dancing all across this world you got that camera around your neck like its a fancy string of pearls and the only thing i'm wearing is a couple shades of envy 'cause your spirit is so free sweet jenny sweet jenny there's things you've told me like stay away from drugs (hey, hey) 'cause you're so high on life the only thing you're giving out is hugs and thats fine by me you do whatever makes you happy oh, cause your spirit's like a bird its flying free so free so free now, i can see you dancing all across this world you got that camera around your neck like its a fancy string of pearls and the only thing i'm wearing is a couple shades of envy 'cause your spirit is so free sweet jenny sweet jenny someday you'll grow old and your hair will turn to gray but just remember i said you'll be beautiful that way and you'll feel it in your bones but inside you'll never age if you just keep on running then you'll never lose a day i said, if you just keep on running then you'll never lose a day met up with a friend last night...." /mushiness |
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| Thursday, February 9th, 2006 |
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Auto response from MaRtHaStEwArT69z MaRtHaStEwArT69z: but i will holla at my brothas DancinAme: thank you, k-unIT this has been a public sevice announcement that OotM doesnt not onnly stand for Odyssey of the Mind but also Oragami of the Mothertruckers. because swearing is uncouth and merits a percy.. but this gangsta foshanksta is off to the bling of my dreams for a siesta before the copz come and massacre my hood. and i get sent off to an incarceration unit. aka school. alas, have a crunk night and remember, drink plenty of that pimp juice, son. holler back, youngin, whoot, whoot. Sweet Rhombus. |
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| Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 |
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DancinAme: so today @ the natural food store where i was trying to find organic brownie mix trovei: ok DancinAme: the guy who was helping me look started telling me all about this "AMAAAAAAZING" recipe he has DancinAme: where he puts in mint extract and hemp seeds.... trovei: ahahahaha DancinAme: it took me like 30 minutes to figure out that he was talking about "special" brownies DancinAme: i was so confused DancinAme: i think i even asked him "and where do you get hemp seeds" DancinAme: he probably thinks im the lamest hippie EVER trovei: hahaha trovei: yeah trovei: LOSER DancinAme: haha trovei: that doesn't smoke DancinAme: i didnt think you could smoke the seeds! trovei: i have NO idea DancinAme: this is like the blind leading the blind trovei: very true |
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| Thursday, January 12th, 2006 |
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dear steve. boobs always make sense. love, amie* PS: enjoy today! |
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| Monday, December 26th, 2005 |
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"There's been borders and there'll be boundaries and there's been times misidirection's found me There's been clear heads and there'll be clean slates and times we'd find we'd pass the night away thinking Everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same thing that they do There's been new starts and they'll be no sleep and there's been times when inspiration's found me and there's been walls built and there's been worse days and times we'd find we spent the night awake thinking all those people they keep watching me all those people that hate me all those people they watch me all those people are just like me" -less than jake, magnetic north update: LTJ's borders and boundries just tied hello, rockview for favorite LTJ album. (these guys know how to put the poetry into angst) and it's all so appropriate (and it feels good--selfish, but good-- to feel some empathy) "and we'll talk about leaving town yeah we'll talk about leaving I swear it's the last time I swear it's my last try We rode across that bridge all night we talked our way through city lights traced all the lines we're killing time under those buzzing signs from downtown to anywhere but here tonight yeah I swear to these rooftops and just hoped that car would never stop we drove around this place all night past closed signs and familiar sights we're moving by passing time counting those center lines with 20,000 lines left to go that lead to somewhere I don't know it might be the time that we leave this all behind there's been a few times that we thought it felt right to take all the westbound signs and just leave town tonight" -less than jake, look what happened |
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| Sunday, December 25th, 2005 |
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wow. i really wasn't into the Christmas spirit @ all this year (usually i am stoked out upon seeing the first salvo volunteer ringing bells besided those big red kettles). but this year, with the stress of work and school i was very ba-humbug. so around 11pm tonight, i was moved to check out midnight mass (for the first time in yeeeeeeeeears) and randomly IMed steveo to see if i could drag him to a catholic mass. to my pleasant surprise he offered to come with me and after i finally got my car out of the snowy/icy mess that is our drive way, i was off to st. mary's in port. it was so good to be in a warm, cheery place. singing Christmas carols and getting pysched for a better and happier new year. we saw joeys mom and bro (which is always a pleasure) and headed back to steveo's after mass. there he surprised me with aaaaaaaaaaaawesome gifts (which related to something i told him months ago). so every CD of one of my favorite bands (which was stolen when every cd i owned in H.S. was stolen) is now back in my collection, along with some new ones!!! i will be listening to less than jake non-stop for the beginning of this new year (and how appropriate. "sit down... remind me how this is the same old story of growing up and getting lost" i mean... come on!) also, stephen l. trovei also sought out the completely annotated version of the wizard of oz... which i will begin reading ASAP. it will most certaintly be the center piece of my future wizard of oz room. sweet sweet lovin. i most certainly know that Christmas isn't all about the presents... but the thoughtfulness that comes with a really great gift = awesome. almost as awesome as ebay;) and to everyone out there, have a very happy and healthy holiday and new year. peace and love. |
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| Saturday, December 24th, 2005 |
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as if updating with lame-o (haha) survey quiz things wasnt bad enough.. i DEF. just spent the last hour looking through old lj entries (which will make me all emo/nostalgic for a good long while). some highlights = *jon's recap of the impromtu florida trip for joe's 21st birthday (we made it DC, ate in a diner, were almost defriended by steveo--who was far to resonsible for a 21 year old--and pat fell asleep in my lap... repeatedly). *joe used to be all kinds of jaded and bitterly sarcastic. we also used to hang out, ala weekly pizza or bagel trips and parties (that were inevitably left, via sketchy exits). also, joe called me out on being in love with chris after only weeks of me and chris being "buddies". this revelation was made at the sunrise bagel place on linden st. and will continue to me one of my most fave college memories. ("you're in love!" "it's only been a couple of weeks!" "i don't fucking care! you're in love! i know it... and you can't argue with me") *i made steve grow a vagina once. it was awesome. see entries from the summer of '03. *pat is/was a lot nicer than i give him credit for. you rock, pat. i also miss your bitterly (but wonderful) sarcastic humor. and the break up of 2002= one of the most ridiculous events of my life to date. (thank god i was friends with the kids who lived on taylor and that redington RA at the time. otherwise i would have gone crazy and/or ended up on some crime show somewhere... blehsldkfjbleh) also, aprilmarie = freakin amazing and has been with me through EVERYTHING. we recently celebrated our "ten year anniversary" (which really should have been the eleventh or twelvth year anniv.) in the city together. how romantic. random memories to increase the reminiscing = very much welcomed. |
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LiveJournal for Ame.
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pissed off.
optimistic.
nostalgic.
mellow.
amused.
hopeful.
grateful.
geeky.