and yesterday... a heartbreaking good-bye.




Not the cutest pic of him, but I'm not up to looking through a bunch right now...

One snowy winter day in February 1992, a young woman walked into a shelter in Wolfeboro, NH and walked out with a new addition to her family of felines. Little Roland (for that was his name) wasn't too keen on the car ride home, but quickly fell into love and into step with his new family. Over the years, he went from being the youngest, to being the oldest, bidding farewell to his older brothers and welcoming others (felines, humans! even canines) into his growing family.

And he was always welcoming. Always friendly and loving. And though never a talker, would ride proudly atop his owner's shoulders.

He slept in my bed for 16 1/2 years, sharing it amiably with other cats, kids, husband, even the dogs every once in a while.

How I loved him!

Wow.

I've been completely alone in the house (except for the animals, who're also totally relaxed and thrilled to be back in the rhythm of the school year) for about 1 1/2 hours now.

What an amazing blessing to be able to have space and time to create. I'm inexpressibly grateful.

Today is about incorporating the crits from PCCWW into Calendar, trying to move forward a bit with the story, and working on some freelance editing projects. I intentionally allowed for a slower start to ease the transition back to work. I'm also trying to weave together the playlist for CALENDAR. I have the theme, so that's good, but the rest always takes forever! And I do need to have it in order to sprint later in the process.

About PCCWW. It's not really a conference, and I shouldn't use that misnomer. It is a workshop. Extremely intense. Insanely productive. Amazingly intimate.

A couple of pictures: First is of Saturday night faculty dinner. (I was adjunct faculty, so to speak, as I presented the focus session on Saturday.) The theme for this year's workshop was epiphanies and endings. Edward is on the end, across from me, with Nancy Sondel, the workshop director, between us at the head of the table. Anne is two up from him on the right, in the leather jacket. Photo thanks to Doug Giddings.




One of the masterclass crits (this is a 3 on 1 critique. The other attendees are present and are invited to participate at the end with questions and comments on the manuscript.) Each faculty member crits for 5 minutes, the author asks questions/clarifies their points for 5 minutes and then there are 10 minutes of audience participation. Some crits are more a round-table discussion between faculty and author with audience chiming in. Mine was like that.




This was just after our Sunday brunch. Most everyone had left, but we gathered for one last picture. Can you tell which one is Edward? There WERE men attendees, 4 actually. Photo thanks to Derrick, our server.




The main issue with CALENDAR was structure. Talking it over with Anne and Edward was heady and enlightening and... empowering. So off I go to get to work. More later. Specifics and details and applications.

The second coolest thing about this workshop are the opportunities to chat with the faculty, get to know them as people. Amazing. Fun. Trippy. A blessing.

I leave you with a video from the CALENDAR playlist. This is for the theme song:

Okay, sadly I don't own the book, so I'm going from my notes, but, Mel asked about Ari's incline and this is how Ray visuals it, and I use it:

Opening Scene and Closing Scene provide a frame for the story.

The hook and the introduction(s)[characters, setting, conflict, desires etc.] occur in Act One, where the action starts slowish and picks up but slowly. Imagine a line starting at bottom left and moving upward in an incline to upper right.

Plot Point One (this is a MAJOR pp) ends Act One; sending the mc in a new direction, usually an action or decision they think will help them achieve their goal, but which actually results in MAJOR COMPLICATIONS, which are revealed in ACT TWO.

[this is all my weird paraphrasing, btw, lol]

ACT TWO is all about conflict and complications, lots of them. It's also a good place to weave in some backstory, if necessary. Make it seamless, though, or it will disrupt the narrative flow. ACT TWO is the longest act in the book, so it's important to keep the action rising (remember that incline) but not too quickly and not too slowly!

The MIDPOINT divides parts one and two of ACT TWO, and is a nice place for romance, seduction, and minor, foreshadowing transformations. Ray says the MP links the two chains of events in the book, those leading up to the MP and those leading away to climax and eventual resolution.

PLOT POINT 2 caps ACT TWO and is the best place for a reversal, because this is the moment of decisive change-- this is the catalyst that transforms the mc. Action. Ray characterizes it as a mini-climax that propels the story into ACT THREE. PP 1 and PP 2 must have a distinct connection.

ACT THREE is where the action peaks and then quickly falls; the shortest act in the book. MC is tired and defeated, but makes one last decision toward change. This time the mc succeeds, and in the resolution, the story plays itself out to its natural and satisfying conclusion, which ends in the wrap up.

Which wraps up my post for today :)

Back to the revision-zone!

Or repurposing... I like revision(ing)

These silver(plate)? spoons into a wedding gift for our kids old babysitter (and our recent petsitter)

They started like this:



And now they look like this:



Today I'll add found text to the bowls of the spoons to create the poem I wrote for the happy couple. After sealing and letting them dry until tomorrow night, I'll add some embellishments and jump rings and we'll have a wedding spoon book :) Will post picks when they're finished.

And hey, if you happen to have some silver or silverplate spoons lying around and want a book made for you, let me know. These are FUN!!!

Tomorrow I begin revisions on The Brown Shoe Diaries.
Armed with comments from 3 beta readers and my lovely CP
idaho_laurie plus the normal route I walk.

Tomorrow and the day after, I will read through each reader's comments,
making notes, and adding notes to the revision sheets I am already starting
out with, ie.

BSD Revisions (surfing) Things to watch in descriptions: flow/fluid/grace/style
These aren't WORDS to use or that I might have overused (that comes way later in
the process) these are keywords to remind me of the comments I need to incorporate
into the surf scenes.

I'll read through for Voice, seamlessness, pacing (Ari's incline etc.)
Ask, is there conflict on every page? Are the 5/6 senses present on each page?
Can any visual details be added or expanded?

And remind myself that except in summary:NO TELLING! SHOW!

And I'll make the necessary changes.

Okay I may be showing my age here (my kids would agree) but YouTube just constantly surprises me by what you can find there!

newport2newport posted a video clip that was so in sync with how I've been feeling the last two days!! [Quick run look if you haven't already and come back]

Some novels just pour onto the page, but others drip, slowly. I've been fighting and fighting The Brown Shoe Diaries, struggling with every word and it finally occurred to me that as Aiden goes through her losses, I am reliving my own as well.

This may be completed novel #5 for me (with 5 others in various stages) but this is the only one that has true autobiographical elements to it. And there's many of them, let me tell you! No wonder it's taking me 5x as long to write it as I think it should. It hurts!

So, in honor of my mom, and Mel (just because, not like she's old enough to be my mom) I bring you a song from my playlist from The Brown Shoe Diaries, enjoy!

Progress, I have, tho.

Brown Shoe Diaries: Moving on toward finishment.

(no word yet from editor reviewing requested partial)

Life's Too Short

(yeah, still completed, still out on subs, no news from agent nudges this week)

the Summer Novel (as it shall be called here)

No new word count as I am focusing on those brown shoes :)

The Anointing aka that pesky partial-ish+synopsis+series proposal I must have ready for a crit submit by June 17

dudes, I hope it is perking away in my brain.

Since I don't do Teaser Tuesday's myself, and can't talk in any detail about projects in process (once they're out in the world, it's different) I was going to write a little about Life's Too Short and that particular book journey.

Instead, I'm going to whine a little, and then get back to work. Sometimes this life is so isolating it sucks. Especially if you're like me, and live in a small town where the SCBWI presence is virtually non-existent and gas prices are prohibitive. Having crit partners and writing friends you stay in touch with every day or week is so critical to well-being, because the waiting and the subjectiveness of this business can be crazy-making!

My two dear friends and crit partners have both dropped off the radar lately, mostly due to family issues, and (selfish moment, here) I am so bummed out and lonely without them! Meh.

Carrying a book through to the end (for me) is in part made possible by sharing the process with one or two people who get my writing, know my weaknesses, and love my stories and my characters as much as I do.

The mc in Brown Shoes, Aiden, has lost all her supports, she is totally alone and must fight her way to safety/security. I hate to admit that on a smaller, more insular level, I feel the same.

Write well, and fellowship!

+ 3 days= Me.

Bleh.

However, I was able to salvage something positive out of the non-productive writing days. An epiphany re: the ending of Brown Shoes, that will make moving through the remaining chapters much easier than it had been.

So, goody!

No additional progress yet on what I'll call summer novel. But Secret Agent Man liked what he read, so yay!!

Catch ya tomorrow! Enjoy the remainder of the weekend!

And OOOh!! squuee-age! I was a winner in Meg Cabot's Airhead t-shirt contest! :D WOOT!

Yeah, yeah, an unprecedented number of posts, I hear ya.

I am thankful for:

air conditioning

my healthy family

a husband who won't let me starve when I'm in the sprint-to-the-finish stage of a novel

a husband who will cook what I like

beautiful children that are mine, that love books, love to write, offer criticism and props, love to make art (and teach me a thing or two) are proud to be themselves and in general bless my days

2 dogs, 5 cats, and a landlord who allows them

an agent who will talk on the phone for an hour, and totally gets me and my writing

a brain full of stories

the ability to stay home and write those stories, even if it means going without a whole lotta luxuries

So, spoke on the phone today with Secret Agent Man--great convo. We've been brainstorming which project I'll submit in June for my face-to-face crit at the conference in August. Along those same lines, I've been trying to decide which of several projects would become my love affair post Brown Shoes. I really want to work on something light and humorous, as BSD has been... darker... more emotionally charged than LTS, or anything I've done in a couple of years.

Ready for a break, much? Yeah.

So as Steve and I were running through projects, I pitched this one I started a month or two ago (not getting into the whole process thing again, if you're interested, I've totally dished on this in previous posts) and he got SO excited, he asked to see what I've already written. lol. Normally I don't share first draft material, but he insisted, so I complied, and we'll see what he thinks.

For now, the word count stands at:


and I think this one might be a crazy-fast, summer-festacular ride.

Ask me Monday, when BSD is to the cps and I've had no sleep to speak of...

My agent is made of awesome. Just saying.

So, once again I've been a bad, absentee blogger. Other than the typical life things (mother's day, school ending, summer plans etc.) I've been finishing my wip, and determining which project to submit for the face to face crit at Pacific Coast Childrens Writers Workshop.

This stage of a project is always both stressful and amazing. I imagine it to be a bit like riding a chemical high, though I can't say from personal experience.

I don't sleep much, and when I do it is a light doze filled with dreams of scenes and mini-revelations and epiphanies.

I barely eat, and then only what I can grab and gulp, or consume at the computer.

(the extreme heat 102 degrees forecast for the next several days, doesn't help at all)

I tend to zone out and have to have people repeat themselves, because I am totally focused on the story and its culmination on paper.

I can't type fast enough, unable to keep up with my brain, which has been finished with and waiting to tell this story for a rather long time. And it goes on like this until I type the end.

So that's the agony, such as it is.

The ecstasy is that beautiful siren song calling to me as I finish, of the next project (the beginnings of which I've already begun), the story itself playing out in the recesses of my mind even as I complete its predecessor.

This weekend I will type The End on The Brown Shoe Diaries. I will pack it off to my cps, who will tear it apart, and then I will revise it to my own standards, feast on their feedback before implementing it, and send it off to Secret Agent Man.

And we shall see.

Meanwhile, I fully intend to document my journey through the next novel. Starting today.

I mentioned we were going through boxes from the ministorage. One thing I had to do when we moved, almost 2 years ago, was donate a great deal of the picture books and board books we had accumulated over 20+ years and 3 kids. We donated them to the Central Valley Children's Hospital in Madera. But still had many, many, boxes of books. I filled the shelves in the house with the early chapter books through ya and some adult novels and classics. Most of the nonfiction and remaining research books and picture books ended up in storage.

The other night we came across the box of favorites, and the 9, 12, and 15 yr old all sat reading and listening as I read through their favorite bedtime stories from younger days.

We still read aloud occasionally (mostly when camping during the summer) but about 2 years ago it became much more difficult to get them all to sit still and agree on a book. Plus interest would wane depending on length, or they always wanted 3 or 4 chapters instead of 1 or 2 and would simply end up frustrated and reading the book themselves at a faster rate!

So here they are, in MY fave order, but all three kids love them equally (and have memorized the text, lol)(images gakked from Amazon.com and property of their respective publishers, artists, et al.)

When Moon Fell Down by Linda Smith (simply the sweetest, most poignant and fun picture book)


Bear Snores On by Karma Wilson (funny, endearing, and a blast to read aloud)


The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything by Linda Williams (one of the best read-alouds EVAH)


Good Night Moon by Margaret Wise Brown (sweet, familiar, and lulling)


You Are My I Love You by Maryann K. Cusimano (heartwarming and clever)


Bedtime for Bunnies (always great for a laugh!)


The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown (honestly, this one wouldn't have made my list, but the kids LOVE it)

Remember Arsenio Hall? I adored his show (which certainly dates me). Things in life right now are making me go... hmmm?



Elaborate? Perhaps. But... no. Not really.

The sinus gunk which had taken hold of me and held me captive for many months is being broken by the siege of antibiotics even as I type. However, the cure is proving almost as bad as the ailment, causing me hours of squished-into-a-ball-of-writhing-stomach-pain-wishing-to-die. And the course is loooonnnnnggg. 3 weeks instead of 2. But I shall stay the course, because I really really really ridiculously want this infection GONE!!

We've been going through boxes and donating and tossing loads of stuff in order to not have the ministorage any more. Can't wait 'til that's over. Yeah lots of spring cleaning here. Fun fun fun.

Writing wise I've had the blahs to go with my blechs, stemming from the pain and the lack of sleep the pain causes. Today, however, I got back a little oomph and put my bic and worked on BSD. Can't wait to finish!

The downside is that it's not even 9:30 pm and I am wiped out. Time to watch ANTM on DVR and go to sleep. Tomorrow will be wonderful, it's Thankful Thursday, after all!

Is compulsively starting new projects a form of procrastination?

Somebody stop me!! (No, don't, really.) I aim to continue my progress on completing BSD while writing a 120 page screenplay during the month of April.



Crazy, I know, but what can I say? And the best part is that I will be using most of an idea I've had percolating for more than 20 years!!! (Wow, does that date me, or what?) Also, my agent's been encouraging me to write a screenplay, so...

And in honor of National Poetry Month:

Fog weaves through my brain
Tendrils of mist masking light
Frosty air wakes mind

Also, a shoutout to birthday girl kellyrfineman ! Enjoy your day!
And to new book mama bluemalibu Congratulations!!
As well as an: if I lived in Maine, I'd vote for you!! To carriejones!!

An awesome author, fabulous person, and drinker of Postum!

Random: Peanut butter on bagels=the worst kind of nasty. Alert the bagel police. Bleh!

Sometime after I get my title, (usually a year+, sometimes sooner) a voice or voices will start talking to me: a word or phrase here and there, just a tantalizing tidbit of personality and voice. But what's the story? Where's the inspiration?

That's the big question. Literally. My characters show up, and a question pops into my head. And the first question engenders the conflict, which tells me what the character wants, and leads the entire story deeper and further, offering snapshots of the other characters and the setting etc. (Nothing goes on paper at this point. Only the title remains written in my notebook. But I will now create a document file and folder for the novel, with a title page only.)

For Life's Too Short, the novel Secret Agent Man is currently subbing, the initial question was: What would it be like to have a Madonna-impersonator as a mom? I'm sure you can see where the conflict might be and how the situations can only deepen from that point on.

From here, the process moves quickly, though in the background, with major and minor characters, setting, and plot all swarming into place and into play.

The back of my mind is a constantly churning pot of plot and story.

My characters show up fully named (first and sometimes last though mostly I research the last names for story reasons), though every rare once in awhile I change them.

Once things are gelling and moving, slamming together, breaking apart, reconfiguring, I get a clear sense of how the story begins, how the story ends, and what the middle will likely contain. Still no writing. Nor do I ever talk about the story to anyone at this stage. I've learned the hard way that is the quickest way to destroy the creative push to write it down.

So, inspiration and continued percolation (not a word until today, I believe, lol). At this point it is about perspiration... on another project.

Because my stories write themselves in my head before I ever commit a word to paper, it is essential that I always am working on something else as well. For me, starting a story too soon (on paper) signals its death knell. I might as well throw out the sparse notes, delete the file, and move on. And I've had to. I have learned to respect the process, in all its weird and wonderful randomness.

So I write and write and write, and revise, and crit, and read, and bug my agent, and obsessively check email. Lather, rinse, repeat. And the urge to get that story on paper grows, and grows, and... you know what they say about anticipation...

And when I can finally stand it no more, and there is time in my schedule, I write. But only the beginning. About 10-15 pages, sometimes less. Just enough to get going. Then I go back to my current project and allow the need to create to build up again. This time, when I move back to the project, I write a synopsis. (I love synopses; I think they're terrific tools)

Now I'm ready to draft. And I do. I edit as I go, not a person able to just vomit onto the page and clean it up later, though that method has been wildly successful for so many. I need to play with the words, to get them just so, in order to move on. Same thing with details, I research every little thing, and I don't use placeholders in the text. I'd be lost without the Internet, and instant access to... say... photos of vintage fabrics and sewing instructions.

And I'm a big believer in procrastination. Kerry Madden had this great quote in her blog a couple of years ago, I think it was by Edith Wharton, about how much time she spent staring into space, and how that was *working* too. Love that, feel that, live that!

My favorite procrastination tools are: LJ, Verla's, and Neopets (in fact, while I was composing this, my youngest neomailed me from her school, lol)

So, what's your inspiration? Do you let your ideas steep? Favorite methods of procrastination?

Tomorrow, scene summary's, Ari's incline, and crit peeps...

I haven't participated in these previously, but as I break for lunch, decided, what the heck?

A snippet from THE BROWN SHOE DIARIES, the wip I'm finishing up:



She waited at the window, watching until the Jag’s headlight beams swept across the side yard, illuminating a stark black and white snapshot of the dunes and the trees, before cloaking them again in night. The landscape hide-n-seek reminded her of the two faces of Ian and she shuddered. Such a master of deceit; able to transform from Mr. Perfect to King of the Damned without even passing one hand over his face.



Sweet dreams, and productive days. 'Til tomorrow!

As I was starting my day this morning, (kids off to school and caffeine round 1 imbibed) I sat down at the piano and played masterfully attempted to play. It has been many, many years. Cellular memory (along with normal memory) is deserting me as I age. Ugh!

My best friend growing up, Nancy, played both the piano and the cello. Enviably well. But she was dedicated. Me, I was a dallier who got the ruler across my knuckles from the nuns more often than not.

It got me thinking more, though, about beginnings, and about the recurrent themes in our lives and in our art.

The themes I find cropping up most often in my novels are characters who are artists of various types: painters/photographers/musicians/songwriters/writers/designers/sculpters/architects etc.

and the overarching theme of voices unheard and/or unheeded. Most of my mc's are fighting to be heard, understood, respected, for who they are and who they wish to become.

What are your themes and variations?

How do you begin your stories?

Almost without exception, I begin with a title. It may come years before the actually characters and storyline reveal themselves, but it comes first. I keep a notebook with all my titles in it, and when the time is right, and the story and characters have gelled in the back of my mind, the two become one. (Note: I am a MAJOR pre-writer, composing entire novels in the back of my mind before ever committing a word to paper)

New project one's title came to me about 2-3 years ago, and I thought at the time it would be a mg novel set in middle school with a female mc. When the main character spoke to me for the first time a couple of weeks ago, I was shocked but thrilled to discover my mc was a senior in high school, and a gay male. Go figure!

Tomorrow... the big question, names, personalities, and agendas. The next step in the process.

Since my little calendar shames me every time I log on to read my f-list, I've decided to kick my blogging into high(er) gear. Which in my case means blogging more than once a month, I guess.

I was so excited last night I had a hard time falling asleep! For the first time in two weeks I had writing time all to myself on my wip! Yeah!! When last we left our heroine, things were about to get fabulously fantastic. And then come crashing down. In a big way. And then again. And just when she thought life couldn't get any worse... Yep. I'm the big bad wolf of writers. Poor Aiden. And she's such an awesome person, too.

My kiddles returned to school, today. (I know, lol, random much?) Anyway, since I spent the last two weeks helping 7th grader edit the first 50 pages of her novel (she didn't make the entry deadline, though, for the Scholastic PUSH 1st novel contest)and write a synopsis and also wrote two synopses and 2500 word openings for two new projects of my own, it was nice to get back to BSD. We spent the day getting reacquainted, and ah... I do so love this book :)

I always try and enter the SCBWI WIP grant competitions. It's a nice brainstorming/testing time for me with projects that have been working in the back of my mind. This year was no different (note the two new projects and synopses above) however, in the end I decided not to enter. Not sure why, just felt project one needed more head time, and project two felt too sweet for someone else to see it before Steve...

Got my first taste of editing/working revisions/brainstorming with Secret Agent Man though, on new project one, and it was just as awesome and amazing and kick-ass as I knew it would be :) That project will be taking a hiatus for quite awhile, though. It's still in the back-burner, percolating stage.

The other new project though *insert ginormous, high-pitched squee-ing here* just made me lol and happy dance and do the ooh ah boogie I do when I first fall in love with a story and its characters and the voice. As soon as Aiden has danced her way into Steve's hands and heart, new project two and I will be spending some quality time together!

It does have a title, which will remain secret at this point, and is the first teen male protag I've written since forever! I cannot wait!!! But I must...

In other news, for the first time (seriously!) in almost a year, the studio is nearly clean and organized, and is already usable!! I'm in creative heaven, people, I swear!!

I may even post evidence of this by the end of the week :)

Ooh and book reviews!! I have read tons and reviewed none here! Bad, I say, bad!

But you have my pledge, faithful readerz (all two of you) that I will be a good little bloggette henceforth. And perforce. 'Cuz ya know, I just like the sound of it!!

THE. KIDS. ARE. BACK. IN. SCHOOL.

Yay!!!

I had actual hours of silence strung together for the first time in 10 DAYS!!! (The downside to this is that since 2:25 my 9 yr old has been speaking nonstop. NONSTOP! I kid you not!!!

In other randomness, while the kiddies were on vaca, I read a bazillion books! Will post reviews this weekend. I did not write a bazillion words. I wrote about 10... or 20 and those were emails.

Actually I did work on a secret project (which will likely come to zero zip nada fruition so don't ask). But I wasn't totally unproductive on the writing front.

Did I mention my dishwasher has been broken since the big storm? Did I mention my dryer has now followed suit. People I am washing dishes and running the dryer on air dry for a family of 5. FIVE!!!

Also this account will look less purty come the end of the month when my paid subscription expires. No dinero for that or SCBWI dues at this point, sadly.

Also in randomness, I got an email from my childhood best friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She lived across the street (directly) and we were best friends for ten+ years. (I moved away when my parents died.)

Very cool. Very random. Now back to finish that secret project so Da Peeps can check it out and I can send it to Secret Agent Man. Unless I chicken out. lol. Which I just might.