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Jun. 13th, 2006 @ 11:10 am
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- Test is over. Most sections were much easier than I thought...except for the bane of my existence - neuro. I have said it once and I have said it 1,000 times - neuro is the work of the Devil. I can only think of 2 out of the numerous cases that I probably got right. Most of the time, the examiner (who was very nice) seemed disappointed with my answers. I think my performance on neuro will either cause me to fail outright, or at least have to take that section over. There were 4 sections that I feel GOOD about. The others (5 others) were so-so and could go either way.
- The stress of the test has not resolved. Im freaking out about the results. AND, I feel like a convict who was just released from prison after 15 years of incarceration...I feel uneasy...I feel like I need to be studying...how can I resume my normal life? Plus, I am anxious waiting for the results.
- Stopped at the Kentucky Welcome Center right when I crossed the state line, cause I had taken a valium and was getting a little tired. A not entirely unsightly bear guy starts talking to me about my truck while I am half dozing sitting on the front bumper. The sun is out...kids are playing a few feet away...people walking their pets. This guy chit chats for a few minutes and then grabs himself, looks at my crotch and says, "Looks like youre filling out those jeans pretty good." I made a hasty retreat, but he followed, flashing his headlights and turning on his hazards. EEEeek! Welcome to Kentucky.
- Had dinner, a tour of Louisville, and VERY pleasant visit with ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) arthole and his partner Bob on Saturday night. The restaurant was perfect for the night before a big test. It was playful and very relaxed. The food was Southern comfort food and probably the best rendition that I have ever had. The company was the best part. Jeb and Bob were fun and interesting and fantastic hosts. Thanks guys!
- The weekend continued to be very special and nice after the test, but I will not blog it.
- Happy Birthday, Phillip.
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Balls and asshole...
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Jun. 7th, 2006 @ 11:42 pm
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www.shaveeverywhere.com
Make sure you click on the bottom left <main menu> link and then go the the <music video>!!! |
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Jun. 7th, 2006 @ 02:57 pm
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Another superlative for Missie
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Fossil mounds may be oldest life on Earth
Wednesday, June 7, 2006; Posted: 1:09 p.m. EDT (17:09 GMT)
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Contingencies
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Jun. 6th, 2006 @ 01:16 pm
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I am already practicing expressions for either A) Passing Boards on Sunday or B) Not passing Boards:
A) 
B) 
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Legendary weekend.
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May. 30th, 2006 @ 11:59 pm
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Legendary is the only word to describe the weekend.
Hustled my booty to Atlanta on Saturday and actually studied until time to hit a few night spots.
Went to WETbar early to see Danny and hear a little bit of Phil B. Danny put me on the guest list so we were only there about 30 minutes. When we walked up to the front desk, the door man asked for our names, so he could check the guest list. I said, "Im Alan and this (pointing to Brad) is 'Plus 1'" For the first time EVER, I got Brad such that his jaw dropped and he was stunned...hehe.
Then went to the Eagle. Was hoping to run into supercub, but he didnt get there until after we had already boogied over to Jungle for Chris Cox. Chris Cox was ON...I think he must have been channeling the spirit of some other DJ. The place was packed. Always good to see the wonderful djxatlanta. Called it an early night and went home around 3am.
Woke up early and headed out toward Lennox for lunch with supercub and his boyfriend mindchaos. Due to traffic, they were running a little behind, so I wandered into the mall and sat on one of the squishy benches in front of the very closed Hermes. Decided to call some friend and waste time, since most everything was in the process of opening. While on the phone, a gaggle of 70-80 year old woman (maybe 15-20 of them) swarmed around me, waiting to get into N-M Cafe for a luncheon. Several of them sat on the squishy bench around me...then the one who sat behind me starts to lean back, using me as a recliner. At this point, I thought she had fallen out or something, but I hear her tiny voice say, "Im sorry, Im just soooo tired. Can I rest here?" I just sat there and said ok. She proceeded to get even comfier, pushing me forward a little bit. A few of her friends gasped, "Alma, youre sitting on that man!" To which she responded, "He said I could!!" After about 10 minutes of that, I had to get up to meet supercub and mindchaos. She thanked me for the rest with a cute lil ole lady smile. So I guess it was worth it.
supercub, mindchaos, and I went to Roasters for comfort food. They really are a great couple...and so fuzzy and cute and yummy. *mental nuzzles* Pretty fellas, funny, conversational, varied interests...gotta luv em. But instead of post-Roasters cuddling, they had to go somewhere for something and sadly, I dropped them off at their truck. *pout*
Went back to Brad's, showered, and then we headed to Fever for the 2-T Fruitty with Paulo. This is where the LEGENDARY hits. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. The space, the music, my friends (Brad, djxatlanta, men, men, men). I finally got to lick Dan and John's nipples...and a few others...YAY!!! The only sad part was that totheunknown and beefybull werent there. Much of the evening, I spent with this guy (Danny who put us on the guest list at WETbar):
Danny and I have been spending some time together. There is an interesting chemistry there. There has been no hanky panky, but he is just a darn nice guy who seems to like me. He treats me very well. He and I have talked about my move to Dallas, so it all seems moot...but I think we enjoy each others company.
Anyway...Danny and I hit the afterparty at Metro and danced all night with Stephen...another BEAUTIFUL beefy bear-type. During that time, we had our arms around each other, when I get tapped on the should by a straight women who is very complementary...but then asks if I am straight. Weird question considering the dancing configuration and the hands on two guys butts...
Went to sleep around 9am and sleep very well. Returned to the hum-drum world of real life a few hours later...*sigh*
Its hard to have such great friends and meet great guys a month before moving hundreds of miles away.
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY to supercub!!! Even though Ive already wished it upon him 7-8 times already!!!!! |
| » FLASHBACK! |
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Ever have some random memory from your childhood pop into your mind? Something that you never remembered before??
I just realized/remembered that I had a HUGE crush on Bluto from Popeye when I was like 4 or 5 years old!!!! HOT!
May. 25th, 2006 @ 11:31 am
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| » "Heathers" Redux |
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Dear Diary,
'American Idol' MUST be stopped and youve got to believe that its more than just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.
Reality television as a whole was just a bad idea...but 'American Idol' is an abomination. Instead of watching other people live their lives, Id prefer to turn off the TV and live mine.
The concept of reality TV appeals to one of the basest qualities possessed by social organisms...voyeurism. Watch other people makes fools of themselves, watch other people do things that we wish we could do (both good and bad).
I do not deny that there may be some redeeming qualities of the show, like showing kids that dreams can come true, blah blah blah. But, cant we return to a time where car chases and explosions were all we needed to be adequately entertained?
Offing 'American Idol' would be like offing the Wicked Witch of the East...West...I sound like a fucking psycho!
(My apologies to Winona Ryder for taking liberties with the above Heathers quotes.)
May. 24th, 2006 @ 09:20 am
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| » Music |
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Music is a very important part of my life. You can always tell what kind of mood Im in by what Im listening to. Happy = "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure. Depressed = "Elegia" by New Order. Angry = Anything by Skinny Puppy. Music is very deep and emotional for me. I actually feel the song. I partake of the music and listen to the words - it is an active experience for me to listen to a song.
Every so often, a song catches me off guard and the emotion experience is different. Peter Gabriel's Passion for instance (the soundtrack from The Last Temptation of Christ. The traditional instruments mixed with the vocals and electronica stirs something emotionally that isnt good and isnt bad. It is a longing, for lack of a better word. I feel like something spiritual is awakened and is reaching out, kind of like a seedling that is raising to the sun. But somewhere deep inside this spirituality is defective and can never be where it wants to be, where it has been promised it can be.
Heard a song like that on Hearts of Space tonight.
May. 21st, 2006 @ 11:20 pm
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| » Bullets over my broadway |
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- Funny how you can hear a story and know the salient quotes from it and fell like you were there. I was not in Australia when the following line was uttered, but I laugh EVERYTIME the story is brough up, "Price check on scabies cream, please!"
- The people on my friends list are awfully intimidating. Hot men, creative, smart, incredibly witty, artistic, charismatic. Most of the journals I read and feel that I have nothing to contribute. In all sincerity, I wish I were as cool you guys.
- New rad tech here at the VA. Very sexy guy. Name is Phillip Allen! Which would have been my ex's name if 1) we had stayed together, 2) if he had taken my first name as his last name and changed the spelling.
- The preceding bullet was completely random and meandering.
- Underutilized word of the day: myopic. Myopic. Myopic. Myopic.
- Was caught oggling a cute bear guy (hospital administrator I think) at the VA yesterday. He oggled back. Knowing smiles, but no words were exchanged.
- Paradox lost: Marines are supposed to be big and bad, rough and tough. They can take scrapnel to the eye and not flinch. Leeches? Amputated foot? No problem. But geesh, you get em' on the fluoro table to do a barium enema, put your finger near their ass, and they squeal like girls and act all tender and delicate. Um...youre a marine!! That should mean you should be able to tolerate discomfort...but it should also mean that youre a bottom. So whats the deal?
May. 19th, 2006 @ 11:42 am
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| » What dreams may come |
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Ever had a dream that was anxiety provoking or terrifying while you were dreaming...but then you wake up and realize that it was kind of lame...yet something about the dream puts you in a foul mood for a the first few waking hours?
I had one last night. It was terrible while it was happening. I imagine that I was tossing and turning and being generally unhappy...so much so that I startled myself awake. I sat up in a sweat and was shaking a bit. Then I thought about the dream and realized it was STUPID.
Here is the dream:
I was on a bus to radiology camp (yep, radiology camp) with residents from all around the country. It was a little like the Duke Review that I went to...except at a camp in the woods. Holly Marie Combs (from Charmed) was a friend of mine in the dream and she freaked me out because she had brought a three volume set of molecular neurophysiology to read while at the pool (which was a big dirt pit surrounded by gravel, but no water). So I went to the library (yep, the camp had a library) and the libray was packed with residents studying for boards. (Here is the part that got me upset...) I went to the water fountain to get a drink and someone had just flushed a toilet, so the water pressure was low and I couldnt drink. There was a funny looking fountain right next to it so I hit the pedal and water shot out all over the library, ruining everyones books and notes. Turns out that I had turned on an inverted fire sprinkler. All of the other residents glared at me and started calling me stupid and so forth. This one particular guy said that I was an idiot and should just go home. People started handing me disparaging notes as they walked out snickering - "Dumbass" written on a piece of notebook paper, etc. I remember telling one of the counselors that I didnt need to take that kind of abuse and that I would stay for 3 days and if things were better, I was leaving. She put her arm around me and tried to make me feel better, but I just kept getting more upset...then I woke up.
There is nothing about the dream that is particularly freaky or scary. No death or pestilence. No mutilation or pets running away. No family or friends getting sick. But for some reason, my dream has put me in a funk...and it is still lingering - 4 hours after.
*shrug*
May. 18th, 2006 @ 11:01 am
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| » Maniacal Monday |
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Songs from Violent Femmes and Minor Threat are continuously playing in the background of my mind this morning. Not good walking in to greet a patient before inflicting pain upon them humming, "We're just a minor threat..."
May. 15th, 2006 @ 11:43 am
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| » Pratter |
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Friday itemized thoughts:
-- To anonymous buddy: You aint gonna drag me down with you into your relationship miasma. I am wearing a snazzy Teflon coated poncho by Alexander McQueen. It looks sharp and drama rolls off it like water off a ducks back. So, boo-ya! Handle your own business and clean up your own messes for this weekend, cause Im on vacation.
-- Miasma is an under-utilized word. Miasma. Miasma. Miasma. Now the universal balance is restored.
-- Upgrading my Alexander McQueen poncho for the new Helmut Lang asbestos/Gore-tex/mercerized cotton/neoprene/Kevlar AND Teflon body armor suit. So not only will I resist the drama, but I will also resist the acidic/inflammatory/bitchy comments that fly when I try to be supportive and understanding. Somehow it doesnt bother me that people are grouchy when someone tries to help them...Im just going to weather the storm and smile.
C'mon! That all ya got?! Im still here for ya!!!!! Haha! Still standing - still smiling - still holding your ass up!!!
-- This weekend is going to be FUN! No plans. No traveling. Its just going to be fun because I said so. I think I may sit around and watch the world do its thing.
May. 12th, 2006 @ 02:45 pm
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| » Lunch |
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On today's lunch menu at the VA Canteen: "Candid yams"
May. 8th, 2006 @ 01:56 pm
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| » Tids and bits |
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--> I have found myself using a reverend_runtism and calling things "shitted" a lot. Thus far, I have used it for bad remixes of good songs, the VA Heathcare System as a whole, and a brief summation of emo (even though I kind of like emo).
--> My subconscious thoughts when a certain someone rambles: *aj nods unconvincingly with an unenthusiastic golf clap* "Mmm-hm, I really do give a shit about how wonderful your life is...I wonder if by force of will I could just make myself throw-up right now just to punctuate my boredom..." What is actually vocalized is: "Mmmmm."
--> The more I think about it, the more I realize that not only is the word "tasty" stupid, but it is antiquated.
--> I am ever convinced that I was a host body like in "Being John Malkovich"...but that the people watching died of boredom and/or were ejected into the path of an oncoming half of a modular home on 15-501. (There was in fact no "Wide Load" sign on the back, and the moving company was fined $20 for the inconvenience.)
--> Its not so much that Im bored...Im just disinterested....a lot.
May. 5th, 2006 @ 01:55 pm
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| » Either/or |
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Dear Rep. Patrick Kennedy:
Based on the documented recount of your recent "run in" in Washington, DC, I see two options -
1) You were driving drunk and the failure of the police to perform a breathalizer test does not change the fact that you are an idiot.
OR
2) You were driving while taking Ambien and Phenergan (both of which CLEARLY say, "Do not operate vehicles or machinery while taking this medication"), in which case you are an idiot.
In summation, I see no away around correctly iterating the immortal words of Judge Judy - "You, sir, are an idiot!"
Sincerely,
aj
May. 5th, 2006 @ 10:05 am
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| » Hrrrmph |
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** Good luck to the special fella who got in 3 months that which I pleaded for for 2 years.
** Fuck you, rhinovirus...and the interferon you rode in on!!!
** Manny's two new remixes are both hot. Liking Grondin's new one also.
** As impossible as it sounds, I dicated a NORMAL report on a fella here at the VA Hospital.
** e^(i*pi) = -1 I used to know why I should care about this.
May. 4th, 2006 @ 02:19 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Thanks for all of the input on my last post. I really appreciate all of the insight. It does me much good to get opinions from all perspectives. Thanks, everyone. (The omnipresent anonymous, Chuck-responses were especially thought provoking. When, the heck, will you bite the bullet and get an LJ account, Chuck?!)
Spent the last week in Durham at Duke Review. My head is now hurting from radiology overdose.
Stayed with Turner (my ex) and his very cool partner David. I really didnt get to see them very much due to the course, but got the pleasure of hanging with them and meeting a lot of the RDU ursine contingent (many of whom play WoW on Alleria!!!) Rode go-carts, played miniture golf, went to Trailer Trash at Flex on Thursday, ate lots of Goodberry's Frozen Custard - snuzzled a lot with furry folks.
Drove back from RDU to Charlotte on Friday and spent the rest -o- the weekend with PapaBear. He just bought a mansion of a house and is in the processes of getting it set up. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, house. On Saturday, I came back to his manor (after running errands and getting some takeout from Dean and Deluca) and he had a birthday cake for me with candles and everything. He said, "I havent been around for your last several birthdays or Christmas...so HAPPY BIRTHDAY and MERRY CHRISTMAS!" It was very sweet. We went to the Eagle briefly and hung out with PapaBear's friends. Very low key Friday and Saturday.
Drove to Atlanta on Sunday and had lunch with the very cute and charming reluctant_bubba. There is nothing sexier in the world than a guy who is a good conversationalist...and happens to be bearish. Me likey!
Got back home and Chuck had picked up a pizza and we ate. He had painted my second bathroom while I was gone - what a sweet fella! Fell asleep early instead of studying.
Now Im back at work and ready to fight crime and save the world from reality television.
May. 1st, 2006 @ 09:41 am
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| » Ill take Crazy Life Neuroses for $500, Alex. |
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If you analyze the messages behind the literature, art, song, cinema, and prose dealing with love, society sends a schitzophrenic message about how to deal with it.
One one hand, 50% of all love references can be summarized by the following phrases, "Love is hard work. Anything worth having is worth working for. You have to work things out and compromise and communicate. Everyone has doubts and cold feet," blah blah blah.
The other 50% says, "What will be will be. You cant MAKE someone love you. You have to be true to yourself. You will just KNOW when it is right," and so forth.
Am I the only one that sees that the messages are nearly mutually exclusive?!
Take for example my royal screw up with a wonderful man, smauger. He is one of only 3 men that I have been IN love with (for me, being "IN love" with someone is different than "loving" someone)...and I started dating guys when I was 14. In his case, I was head over heels for him. I was planning on spending the rest of my life with him. But the combination between my move to Dallas and some communication issues, lead me to give up too easily. I convinced myself that if it was really "meant to be", then it wouldnt be so painful. I convinced myself that I was trying to force a relationship. I listened to the negative voice inside my head that told me that it was better for both of us if we just gave up. I figured I had tried and tried for almost 3 years, and yet the doubts in my head were not resolved...so it was best if we broke up.
But if we had continued to try to make things work, at what point do you throw in the towel?? Would we have turned into one of those couples that stayed together out of co-dependency rather than love? The ones that bicker all the time and then have great make-up sex?
So this brings up the question...if I still have feelings for someone who cheated on me...should I try to make it work? I dont think it would be a good idea, but the thought has criss-crossed my mind more than once in the past few weeks. Since it keeps popping up, I thought I was address it head on.
Again the opposing cliche's are, "A little bump in the road should not keep you from true happiness if you are willing to work for it." vs. "Sometimes love just ain't enough."
Apr. 20th, 2006 @ 01:44 pm
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| » That was WAY harsh, Tai. |
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I have had Brittany Murphy's single (done with Paul Oakenfold) "Faster Kill Pussycat" (both the Eddie Baez AND Dynamix/Junior mixes) in my head for weeks. Much like the Aslee Simpson tracks, Lindsay Lohan's two dabbles into the music, Paris Hilton's single, and "One Word" by Kelly Osbourne, I really didnt want to like the song, but do.
Apr. 20th, 2006 @ 09:23 am
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| » Scientists dig up million-year-old ice cube |
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TOKYO, Japan (Reuters) -- A million-year-old ice sample drilled from 3 kilometers under the Antarctic and unveiled in Tokyo on Tuesday could yield vital clues on climate change, Japanese scientists said.
Owner of the frozen wonder, squalidbear, says, "I was wondering where that went. I was trying to freshen up my Stoli at this party in Southern Pangea, when all of a sudden my brain just turned off because I was so bored."
Apr. 19th, 2006 @ 10:00 am
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