Other Rose (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} akycha) wrote,@ 2004-10-11 14:18:00 |
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Shadows on the Wall: We Interrupt this Shadowplay for An Important Announcement...
[Scene: A-ko, B-ko, and C-ko are standing in front of a stone wall painted with large roses. The wall has a bench attached to it. Gir is kneeling on the bench and half-hanging off the edge upside-down, trying to peer into the darkness underneath it.]
C-ko: [Pacing up and down] Look, changes like this don't happen spontaneously. Someone's got to be behind it all!
B-ko: If you're right, how do we find out who it is?
C-ko: And I say, go directly to the top! Don't mess around with underlings!
B-ko: I wouldn't call the Student Council underlings, exactly. "Pawns" might be a better term...
C-ko: THIS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! WE WILL CONQUER! VIVE LA REVOLUTION!
B-ko: [Leaps to her feet] I don't think it's a good idea to inform the whole world what we're planning, C-ko. Let's take a little walk. We still haven't figured out who's behind all this, and so I think we're still in the information-gathering stage... [her voice fades out as she and C-ko move off into the distance, stage right.]
A-ko: [to Gir] What's up? Or, er, down?
Gir: OoooOOOOoooOOOooo!!! C'mon, come out and play!
A-ko: Gir... who are you talking to?
C-ko: [In the distance] mutter mutter mutter INCONCEIVABLE!
B-ko: [Makes soothing gestures]
Gir: [Still upside down, addressing the darkness under the bench] I like yoooouuuuu!
A-ko: I'm afraid to ask.
C-ko: [Still in the distance] DEAD, do you hear me? DEAD DEAD DEAD as a DINOSAUR DEAD!
B-ko: [Shrugs]
Gir: [Still peering under the bench] Pleeeeaaaaaassseeeee? It's nice out here!
A-ko: [To the back of Gir's head] That's a matter for debate.
C-ko: [Rather less in the distance] mutter mutter SOCK MONKEY.
B-ko: I suppose it's all a matter of perspective.
A-ko: [Bends over and peers under the bench herself] Chu-Chu?
Voice from Under the Bench: Chu?
Gir: Come out! Pleeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? I'll sing!
A-ko: [Hastily] Gir, no singing. Chu-Chu, what are you doing under there? C'mon out.
[Chu-Chu appears from underneath the bench, holding a newspaper which he offers to A-ko.]
A-ko: Why, thank you, Chu-Chu. [Opens the paper and looks at the front page.] HEY! B-ko! C-ko! Guess what day it is!!!!!
B-ko: [Strolling over] You're using multiple exclamation points again. It can't be good for your sanity.
C-ko: [Following B-ko] What day is it?
A-ko: National Coming Out Day!
Chu-Chu: [Jumping up and down in an excess of excitement] Chu!
A-ko: [Leans over and picks Chu-Chu up] Chu-Chu, do you mean that you want to come out?
Chu-Chu: Chu! Chu! Chuuuuuuu!
B-ko: Looks like a yes to me.
C-ko: Wait, he's a monkey...
A-ko: ...who likes to dress in skirts and flirt with boys. There's two things to come out about right there, right, Chu-Chu?
Chu-Chu: Chu! [Jumps up and down on A-ko's lap, looking very pleased with himself.]
C-ko: All right, then. Yay!
B-ko: Cupcakes all around!
A-ko: Cupcakes for everyone!
B-ko: I like to dress in overalls and fix UFOs and flirt with girls!
Everyone: Yay!
A-ko: I like to kiss girls!
Everyone: Yay!
C-ko: I like to have three-girl orgies in canopy beds!
Everyone: ...
C-ko: [Looks around meaningfully]
Everyone: Yay!
Gir: Me me me!
A-ko: You want to come out, too!
Gir: Cupcakes! Yes!
A-ko: But Gir, you're a ro-- wait a minute. Why do we call Gir "he" anyway?
B-ko: ...I... don't know.
C-ko: Because! Um. He was a he when I met him?
A-ko: Well, we're Japanese, so--
B-ko: If we're Japanese, how come we're speaking English?
A-ko: The script is in English, B-ko, quit asking these silly questions and interrupting my pontifications!
B-ko: Sorry.
A-ko: AS I WAS SAYING, we're Japanese, so we ought to assume that robots are feminine. In Japanese contexts, the machine is female, from the extremely sexualized robots of Chobits to the computers of Evangelion, which, despite being named Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar after the three wise men of the Bible, were in fact modeled after the brain patterns of a woman. (Those computers were big blocky things and not the big-titted robots usually associated with anime, too.) So the fact that Gir does not look female--
Gir: Whee! I look like a doggie!
A-ko: Should not change the fact that robots are associated with service, and thus female in the Japanese imagination. On the other hand, we're all female--
B-ko: Well, most of the time. We like to play dress up.
A-ko: [Giving B-ko a withering glare] So possibly we don't associate the feminine with service. On the other hand--
C-ko: How many hands is that?
A-ko: Shut up. On the other hand, by calling Gir male, are we assuming that things are male unless called otherwise? That is, that maleness is the norm?
B-ko: I don't really think it's the norm around here.
A-ko: Well, all the same, I think we ought to ask Gir.
C-ko: Gir, are you a boy or a girl or something else?
Gir: I'm a little robot!
A-ko: I think we're always known, deep down inside, that Gir is something else.
[All bite solemnly into cupcakes.]
[Scene: A-ko, B-ko, and C-ko are standing in front of a stone wall painted with large roses. The wall has a bench attached to it. Gir is kneeling on the bench and half-hanging off the edge upside-down, trying to peer into the darkness underneath it.]
C-ko: [Pacing up and down] Look, changes like this don't happen spontaneously. Someone's got to be behind it all!
B-ko: If you're right, how do we find out who it is?
C-ko: And I say, go directly to the top! Don't mess around with underlings!
B-ko: I wouldn't call the Student Council underlings, exactly. "Pawns" might be a better term...
C-ko: THIS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! WE WILL CONQUER! VIVE LA REVOLUTION!
B-ko: [Leaps to her feet] I don't think it's a good idea to inform the whole world what we're planning, C-ko. Let's take a little walk. We still haven't figured out who's behind all this, and so I think we're still in the information-gathering stage... [her voice fades out as she and C-ko move off into the distance, stage right.]
A-ko: [to Gir] What's up? Or, er, down?
Gir: OoooOOOOoooOOOooo!!! C'mon, come out and play!
A-ko: Gir... who are you talking to?
C-ko: [In the distance] mutter mutter mutter INCONCEIVABLE!
B-ko: [Makes soothing gestures]
Gir: [Still upside down, addressing the darkness under the bench] I like yoooouuuuu!
A-ko: I'm afraid to ask.
C-ko: [Still in the distance] DEAD, do you hear me? DEAD DEAD DEAD as a DINOSAUR DEAD!
B-ko: [Shrugs]
Gir: [Still peering under the bench] Pleeeeaaaaaassseeeee? It's nice out here!
A-ko: [To the back of Gir's head] That's a matter for debate.
C-ko: [Rather less in the distance] mutter mutter SOCK MONKEY.
B-ko: I suppose it's all a matter of perspective.
A-ko: [Bends over and peers under the bench herself] Chu-Chu?
Voice from Under the Bench: Chu?
Gir: Come out! Pleeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? I'll sing!
A-ko: [Hastily] Gir, no singing. Chu-Chu, what are you doing under there? C'mon out.
[Chu-Chu appears from underneath the bench, holding a newspaper which he offers to A-ko.]
A-ko: Why, thank you, Chu-Chu. [Opens the paper and looks at the front page.] HEY! B-ko! C-ko! Guess what day it is!!!!!
B-ko: [Strolling over] You're using multiple exclamation points again. It can't be good for your sanity.
C-ko: [Following B-ko] What day is it?
A-ko: National Coming Out Day!
Chu-Chu: [Jumping up and down in an excess of excitement] Chu!
A-ko: [Leans over and picks Chu-Chu up] Chu-Chu, do you mean that you want to come out?
Chu-Chu: Chu! Chu! Chuuuuuuu!
B-ko: Looks like a yes to me.
C-ko: Wait, he's a monkey...
A-ko: ...who likes to dress in skirts and flirt with boys. There's two things to come out about right there, right, Chu-Chu?
Chu-Chu: Chu! [Jumps up and down on A-ko's lap, looking very pleased with himself.]
C-ko: All right, then. Yay!
B-ko: Cupcakes all around!
A-ko: Cupcakes for everyone!
B-ko: I like to dress in overalls and fix UFOs and flirt with girls!
Everyone: Yay!
A-ko: I like to kiss girls!
Everyone: Yay!
C-ko: I like to have three-girl orgies in canopy beds!
Everyone: ...
C-ko: [Looks around meaningfully]
Everyone: Yay!
Gir: Me me me!
A-ko: You want to come out, too!
Gir: Cupcakes! Yes!
A-ko: But Gir, you're a ro-- wait a minute. Why do we call Gir "he" anyway?
B-ko: ...I... don't know.
C-ko: Because! Um. He was a he when I met him?
A-ko: Well, we're Japanese, so--
B-ko: If we're Japanese, how come we're speaking English?
A-ko: The script is in English, B-ko, quit asking these silly questions and interrupting my pontifications!
B-ko: Sorry.
A-ko: AS I WAS SAYING, we're Japanese, so we ought to assume that robots are feminine. In Japanese contexts, the machine is female, from the extremely sexualized robots of Chobits to the computers of Evangelion, which, despite being named Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar after the three wise men of the Bible, were in fact modeled after the brain patterns of a woman. (Those computers were big blocky things and not the big-titted robots usually associated with anime, too.) So the fact that Gir does not look female--
Gir: Whee! I look like a doggie!
A-ko: Should not change the fact that robots are associated with service, and thus female in the Japanese imagination. On the other hand, we're all female--
B-ko: Well, most of the time. We like to play dress up.
A-ko: [Giving B-ko a withering glare] So possibly we don't associate the feminine with service. On the other hand--
C-ko: How many hands is that?
A-ko: Shut up. On the other hand, by calling Gir male, are we assuming that things are male unless called otherwise? That is, that maleness is the norm?
B-ko: I don't really think it's the norm around here.
A-ko: Well, all the same, I think we ought to ask Gir.
C-ko: Gir, are you a boy or a girl or something else?
Gir: I'm a little robot!
A-ko: I think we're always known, deep down inside, that Gir is something else.
[All bite solemnly into cupcakes.]
