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so. i never write in this thing unless i'm pisssed and this entry will i suppose consider this trend. yep.
so for those of you who don't know i've been in israel and palestine for the last two months. i've been absolutely shitty about keeping in touch. so. my apologies, its not because i didn't want to talk to people its that sometimes its hard to, express the enourmity of what is going on here, especially when you, ehh meaning me, don't know how the people/friends back in the us will respond when they hear the truth about life here.
i got here june 21. i stayed in tel aviv with a student, eyal. probably one of the nicest people i've met thus far. i was all set to leave and go to palestine. oh and if one more person tells me palestine doesn't exist i will sucker punch them. come and tell palestinians palestine doesn't exist, don't pull that crap, that racism..no more, its an antiquated term.
utilizing language, a great tool of hasbara to further subjugate a people is so fucking crappy. by denying a palestine you are denying a people- denying their existance-erasing them from view don't pull that bullshit. . .
so. got here. ready to leave. got sick. stayed for over two weeks in tel aviv, a lovely city. ok so maybe i don't feel like going into this all...i'm more in a mood to piss and moan and rant...
i've been peed on, spit on, yelled at, had guns pointed at me. i've only become really angry in the last week. i'm not entirely sure as to why...part of it is that i'm no longer in the opt=[occupied palestinian territories] and i'm in jerusalem. i was in east jerusalem last week and now i'm in west jerusalem. part of the same city, but increadibly inequitably different. it is disgusting- one of the finest examples of state sponsored bigotry- it is impossible to deny. [sorry - to tired to explain- google it if interested].
knowing that i have to go home is a terrifying realization. at least in israel there is a small recognition of what is occuring in the opt, but the us has no idea- and if people do know they deny it, or worse yet, justify it.
rachel's tomb used to be in bethlehem. today rachel's tomb is in jerusalem. did they dig up the tomb and move it? oh no! but here in israel/palestine, things have a funy way of one day being in palestine and then p00F with a small warning and no real appeals system to think of--and perhaps even more damning--no compensation- homes, land, schools, mosques- become part of israel. Rachel's tomb is a settlement of Israeli Jews, many families from NY, the US--most of the settlers are recently immigrated israelis--
so the road the tomb is on used to be the bethlehem town center, a thriving area will many shops and homes. today it is partially deserted- a wall running down the middle of the street. a few years ago, with the help of the israeli government- israeli jews created a community,a community on top of an already existing community. were those shop owners, mechanics, families compensated- oh of course not. when the settlers were removed from Gush Katif, Gaza were they compensated for their state subsidized homes? of course ! on average they reacived 750,000 dollars. BUT, BU, but Eretz Yisrael!!!
where in the bible is gaza mentioned? hmmm....
do you see some problems with israel? maybe? please? ...
but whatever the Arabs don't belong here! it is to become Eretz Israel. Why can't those Arabs go live in one of the 20-something other Arab countries in the middle east? can't the jews finally have some peace, don't we deserve a country? we have a biblical claim to this land. One day a unified Jerusalem will be ours. We have no partner for peace [perhaps that is because they are daily being assasinated or indefiniately incarcerated]
see for israel's finest aka the most moral army in the world attack unarmed peace activists.
http://www.palsolidarity.org/main/category/bilin/
do you know that i will likely be harrassed and interogated at the airport?
I spoke to a 75 year old Holocaust survivor who was stripped searched at ben gurion. security the hope of us all. working for peace= dangerous terrorist, in israeli speak.
oh my.
well i have too much work to do to continue this.
but one day i hope the world cites israel for the repeated violations of human rights.
FUCK I AM SO ANGRY.
oh and when i get angry i swear.
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| 2006-06-24 01:35 |
| lorax, borax, bad for roaches. (nonsense) |
| Public |
| eyal's apt. |
| claws out |
i should never read the fucking news.
currently in tel aviv. things are good, until i go and read the news. fucking fuckers lies liars and accomplices. ugh.
this/israel/palestine is such a weird place.
maybe i will update later.
oh and there is a mysterious red dotted rash on my left arm and hand. tmi !
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| 2006-06-12 19:29 |
| poor |
| Public |
 aggravated |
reading the nexus online. not impressed. quite disappointed in fact.
ouch.
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| 2006-05-27 13:03 |
| impromptu dinner party |
| Public |
| awake |
| debauchery |
jess's away msg
KitcaryalI (10:08:22 AM): last night, kathleen grinded with aaron strellner to justin timberlake songs
KitcaryalI (10:08:36 AM): chris moriarty played music that only dogs could hear
KitcaryalI (10:08:51 AM): right now, emily is curled up on the living room floor with the keebler elf
KitcaryalI (10:09:13 AM): her brother is probably dead in her bed from eating hash cookies with chris
KitcaryalI (10:09:23 AM): there is a pan full of 2am chicpeas on the stove
KitcaryalI (10:09:38 AM): and a box of cheerios spilled in the living room
KitcaryalI (10:09:45 AM): arent you glad you moved out early
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| 2006-05-21 19:37 |
| AHA |
| Public |
| the libary |
| breathless |
| chitchat of the library |
hey now. so all day i've been struggling to get enough o2. i thought it was purely psychological, and i've been trying to figure out what is so stressful and not so much finding a root stressor and then AHA i checked the pollen forecast on weather.com AHA "teh pollen count is oppressive have fun wheezing".
so i have not been having mini panic attacks all day long. i've been having bronchospasms all day long.
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| 2006-04-27 20:11 |
| thoughts, comments? |
| Public |
what do people think about this article, from today in the collegian?
full text under cut( Read more... )
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| 2006-02-22 22:49 |
| mountains |
| Public |
 hopeful |
| dad's music aka classicalfolkchicrock |
so, i have a ton of studying to do for the am. its maddening how simple it all is, and i should have studied much earlier.
nothing this semester is particularly difficult, the problems come that it is all time consuming and i constantly mismanage time. for the first time in my life i'm having difficulty keeping up with readings. usually readings are the one thing i stay on top of.
keep remembering that i need to care about school. mind is elsewhere. i am wholly consumed in thinking about israel and palestine, everything i read in class becomes related back to it. everything.
sleeping hasn't been too swell, epidemiology professors haunting dreams, "you don't understand this, why are you bothering...you don't know what public health is"...wtf! so i am a bit anxious about those classes and it is invading dreams. all in all, i am throughly regretting this semesters course load. it should get easier. right?
planning to go to the middle east this summer, no matter what. except for the whole money issue. oh and the whole i can say "whats up" in hebrew and recite 3/4s of the handwashing prayer...arabic is even worse, with only "good morning" ughh. budgeting this month went alright. and i have money from csp/old check from work/parents owe me $ that should cover the costs, and if i can save on food, every little bit counts.
ok, back to studying! wish me luck.
oh and in a sudden outburst of optimism i want to say, life is beautiful and i am so thankful for everything :)
aww sappy moment
haha lets see how i feel later this evening in the midst of hardcore cramming.
---
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| 2006-02-21 12:57 |
| whew |
| Public |
 anxious |
| npr, what else? |
this week is insanely busy. so much work. and an exam!
haven't had a real exam in over a year, and it makes me nervous.
school is going alright, very overwhelmed. had a dream about a pop quiz in epidemiology...annoying how
school intrudes into dreams/nightmares.
asb retreat=amazing :)
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| 2006-02-16 08:30 |
| eh, i f_cked up. again. |
| Public |
 blank |
| nada |
this week i've been discomboulated, (probably spelled wrong)
motivation? none.
falling behind the power curve
school is important.
life seems out of control at the moment. although it is not, from the outside looking in.
i woke up at 5:30 to finish my bio epi hw. i spent the entire time trying to do simple arithmatic. next time i'm goin to try and do the problems on excel. gah math.
it looks like it will be a very nice day, though.
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| 2006-02-08 09:49 |
| here and now |
| Public |
| anxious |
| hope |
lately, eveything seems too much. too complicated.
i spend far too much time everyday looking for and reading news about what is happening in israel and palestine.
off of haaretz:
In an unrelated incident, it was revealed on Tuesday that four masked men in the Ma'on settlement near Mt. Hebron over the weekend stoned Palestinian children between six and eight years old as they made their way home from school.
Israel Radio reported that the men pelted the children from close range until an IDF jeep showed up shortly afterward and soldiers attempted to restrain the men.
The men resisted and called the soldiers "Nazis," according to the radio report.
a month ago, give or take a few days i was there. right there.
i'm going to say it. i'm sorry guys, i know some of you will disagree with what i am saying and might hate me for saying it but i have to speak. for the past month i've been agonizing, thinking, even praying for guidance on what to do with what i saw. i don't want to lose friends, i treasure the times we spend together.
what is happening in israel and palestine is not right. not for the israelis not for the palestinians.
i am basing this on what i saw, felt and experienced and what continues to reverberate.
palestinian land is being confiscated on a daily basis. families are losing their livelihoods. the wall is cutting off farmers from their fields, families from families and neighbors from neighbors. children are terrorized by certain settler groups. olive trees are chopped down in the night. livestock poisoned, water supplies tainted, children shot at, stoned, afraid.
we met a man whose wife lost two babies in utero because of the tear gas use at the checkpoints in ramallah. i saw children lift their shirts and show their bullet wounds, desparate for their stories to be heard.
palestinians are people too. just people. a very small percentage of palestinians are terrorists.the vast majority are normal everyday people and they deserve to live unharassed, unafraid, free. no more racism, no more apartheid.
i believe people can be friends while having opposing beliefs and points of views. i want to stay friends with all of you and try to engage in dialogue.
this is a cowardly way for me to express what i am trying to say, and i am sorry i did not have the courage to verbalize this person to person.
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| 2005-12-16 22:21 |
| FUCK IT ALL. |
| Public |
 crushed |
FUCK THIS SHIT.
AMHERST COLLEGE COMPUTERS JUST DELETED MY JEWISH PEOPLE FINAL. I HAD 2 MORE QUESTIONS AND THEN IT WAS DONE.
GOD DAMN IT.
I AM GOING TO CRY.
I GIVE UP.
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| 2005-12-15 23:49 |
| we knew it was cold, but not this cold. |
| Public |
| coldness, winter |
who has frozen pipes and no heat?
we do, we do!
oh mannnnn. mannnnn=a gender fucking neutral pronoun.
ahem.
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dear man who plays the bucket, [would it be condescending to call you bucket man?] please stop! please!!
tonight i am not in the mood for the four mo-town songs you have so adeptly mastered. and please drunksw ona tuesday night under no circumstances should you being to join in and sing. please. please. please.
only 2.5 questions left to go on the midterm. yay.
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over thanksgiving break i think i'm going to the gulf coast for a week to help w/ cleanup from katrina.
this is a very good thing. kevin and i would be the only cousins at thanksgiving because everyone is away.
an escape from family and the chance to do something useful.
an independent study credit perhaps?
my mom's ok with it. she'll tell my dad.
can i get an hallelujah!
see www.hacres.com, the first thing that came up when i googled "hallelujah"
i'm a bit f-cked in terms of midterms [haha] oh well. tommorow its time to buckle down!
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| 2005-09-17 17:47 |
| some one/bodies stole my elixer of life |
| Public |
 that.lookslikevomit |
ahem someone drank all of my soy milk. i did not even get to open it. that makes me sad..
because i like soy milk. wahhhh
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| 2005-09-12 15:47 |
| MAD |
| Public |
 angry |
amherst lincoln realty is run by asswipes.
peter and his mommy completely gave me the runaround.
fuckers.
i want internet and i want it now.
no peter. we are not "girls" NO EXCUSES. MALE CHAUVINIST FUCKER///////
it seems that they already should have known about this problem. rkewo;fvdjibc;nlugvo lwnaiB
tomorrow i am calling the fire dept to hear their logic about the no bikes thing.
excuses.
livid.
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| 2005-07-30 21:04 |
| (no subject) |
| Public |
so. a whole lot has happend in the last twelve hours.
i guess everyone knows schoo lhasn't really been my thing. so uhm i'm taking a year off. and doing americorps.
just found out today. had an interview and they were like ok, good to go.
ajsvbflrnf.
uhm yeah. going to boston for the next three weeks for training. ah!
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i passed the first half of the emt exam yay!!!!!!!!!!!
pretends to dance. a happy dance.
today was lovely.
field managed. but we got there in one piece without getting lost. haha its allll about delegation of responsibilities. dayum that is a lot of iiis.
i gave myself bad turf. i needed a bike...but it went fine. fast walking. not a lot of houses. only 20....normal is like 50-70. no cars which made it great too. most of it was conservation land/farms/a 4h camp. there were so many friendly dogs and i met a ton of really nice people.
ahhh nature! i saw a deer and llamas and baby goats and cows and horses and cats and dogs and snakes. wayyyy cool.
emma i like party idea and good luck on your emt exam- im sure you will pass!!!!
lots of walking....like 6-7-8 miles. lonng driveways.
poison ivy is spreading like mad. i am not itching it, though, so its had to fathom why its spreadingggg. gross. and itchy and uncomfortabllleee.
tired v tired.////
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| 2005-07-05 00:58 |
| so it goes. |
| Public |
 weird |
| cars but not trucks or buses |
hm. we don't have much food left. bummer. wine and granola courtesy of kathleen and james :)
and cereal
yeah.
oh. so i went to black sheep to read and use the internet and all was good until this guy started talking to me non stop. for a half an hour. he seemed normal/cute until he opened his mouth. too bad. it made me feel a bit happy and then it turned into hmm, is he a psychopath, on stimulants or what. finally i got up and left. it was awkward.
masspirg is ehh. the people are great and funnn. we went to diva's on eighties night and then went to this kids house and engaged in debauchery. oops. found out dirt about how the office runs. if they like you its all good if not so long farewell. hope i can be on the good side...
masspirg ......its contributing/the main cause of frightening manifestations of anxiety. arg. i need to learn how to relax. of.
three years ago july fouth i was in a/the? british cathedral. can't remember the name. we sang the national anthem, right. heh good times... remember jeanine&suzy ;P
sleeep soon
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| 2005-07-03 12:25 |
| (no subject) |
| Public |
| Your Aries Drinking Style |
 Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night.
Your competitive streak makes you prone to closing time shot contests.
You're a sloppy, fun drunk, and you get mighty flirty after a couple tipples.
Getting you drunk is a good way for people to get what they want out of you, should other methods fail.
You can become bellicose when blotto, but you will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise.
You can be counted on to do the same for others -- so long as they haven't gone and done anything really horrible to you last night (ahem, sneaky Gemini!) | | Your Signature Cocktails | | Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the ruler of spicy food and red things -- and for balance, astrologers recommend they eat tomatoes, onions, olives and greens. That's right, Aries, you were born under the sign of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules grapefruit, and they've been known to kick back a salty dog and a sea breeze or two. For extreme hotcha, try a concoction with cinnamon liqueur in it. | | Your Celebrity Drinking Buddies | | Conan O'Brien, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Jessica Parker, David Letterman, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, Jack Black, and Hugh Hefner. |
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