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This Journal is Mostly Friends Only.

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Please understand unless I know you from somewhere I won't add you back as many friends only entries are very personal

Place: My Armchair

Its been a while since I posted, a few things have happened and surreally not happened, so lemme see if I can fill in the gaps.

Neck Arthritis - The Glucosamine for the most part are keeping the pain manageable, there are bad days, more often than I would like, and even some horrendous days, losing the use of my right arm because of the pain/pinched nerve definitely count in that corner.

I was referred for an MRI regarding the arm issue caused by my neck, but thats when things started to get very surreal, come the time of the appointment after much squishing and crushing they concluded I didnt fit in the MRI machine *too broad* was the polite way they put it, so they were going to write to my consultant about that next.

Whatever that may or may not have been is anyones guess I have heard nothing.

Mirena - has been working great, no particular problems, until about a week ago, I think it has moved, leastwise its hurting quite a lot down there and I dont have the agility to how shall we say it *investigate*, its still doing the job, so do I go to my doc and hope he doesnt propose removing it, returning me to the previous mightmarish state, or refer me back to the gyn docs who showed such uninspiring levels of incompetance last time I saw them as to make me suicidal.

Don't know what to do for the best there.

Mental State - Up and down, down at the moment, waaaaaaay down, why? who the heck knows I suspect both of the above don't help much, my doc said the neck arthritis would ease during the warmer times, all I can say to that is BULLSHIT.

General health - Pain levels seem higher, either that or the concoction of pain pills arent working so well, probably made worse by the attitude of those around me, since they haven't changed and probably never will, They are going away for a vacation in September, I can cope physically when they go for 3 days, 4 is pushing it (pain levels become unbearable after 3 days), this trip is 7/8 days.... to put it mildly I am on edge about it.

This will have to do for now, my neck/arm is hurting too much to write more

PS thanks to sunpatch for the prod

my paid status on here expires on 5th April.

I have been trying to find out exactly what I will lose if reverting to the free account.

I had to use the money I had saved to renew this, to go toward the cost of the glucosamine.

I think I will lose the layout I am using, and a lot of the userpic spaces.

Ironic considering the timing means im getting back into using it again.

Does anyone know the exact limits on the free accounts, the FAQ seem lacking

Please welcome the two youngest additions  to my GoFamily.

My Gopets history stretches back to September '05, when my friend first gave me the link and said to check it out I did indeed click on the link but I did nothing about it, 2 days later she asked if I had checked it, I admitted I hadn't she gave me the link again and this time I did actually go and investigate, and the rest as they say is history.

Who couldn't love the pets like my Babies!!



I think Marmite my pup (at the bottom of the shot) nicknamed Mr Stinky was thinking *You cannot possibly expect me to use one of those*

Guess who

SharkBreak

Mood: relaxed

*shuffles papers and taps them on desk in a newreaderish way*

Doctors appointment this morning, the depression meds dosage has been reduced to 1 a day, with a supporting cast of Diazepam.

Yesterday in an unexpected turn of events I discovered I have blood pressure (all previous attempts by doctors, nurses and other medical peeps failed to get a reading), during my parents latest vacation from whence the returned Monday they purchased a fully automatic blood pressure machine with an extra large cuff (large wont fit on my dear mother either), so yesterday they decided to test out their new purchase, and screamed at me *get your fat ass out here you are trying this* and I managed to get readings each time I tried, the lowest was 144/90 which sure surprised my doctor this morning, I guess he pressumed being a fat useless slob it would be thru the roof, so anyways now he finally has that on record he decided the choice of replacements depression meds has increased and provided my blood pressure remains like that or better, he will be able to provide me with one that not only works much better than the one i've been weaning off, but it wont cause me to gain weight. The next appointment re the depression is 19th October.

Now we turn to this afternoon, now a bit of background, I havent had access to a National Health Service dentist for nearly 20 years, because there are so few dental practices taking on new NHS patients you have to really travel distances, and knowing the chances of being able to travel were zero, I gave up trying to find one, now we go to July this year when the dental practice my parents were using went private only, meaning they no longer dealt with NHS, and the parents were expected to pay heaps of fees even to be registered there, sooo they chose to be without a dentist, until a couple of weeks ago, when my mother developed an abcess, so I found her the phone number of the health trust that could tell her where the nearest dentist taking NHS was (40 miles away), so she got an emergency appointment there and the practice agreed to take all three of us, sooo an appointment was made for my dad and myself for this afternoon for routine joinup checkups, not surprisingly after so long without a dentist I was pretty much convinced I would need some kind of treatment, and naturally we expected my dad would not, so we planned that any appointments would be arranged after I was seen (my dads appointment was first).

So you could have knocked mew sideways when the dentist said everything was completely sound, no treatment needed, come back in 6 months..

My dad on the other hand had to make an appointment for some treatment. How bizarre is that.

Mood: thoughtful

wonders whats going on

*sneaks out*

The disorientation I have felt over the past month (or so) seems to now have a cause, some kind of inner ear irritation, which has joyously decided to go from being a regular annoyance to a permanent one.

The past three days the irritation has been such that I feel sick and dizzy permanently, not to mention I appear to have lost most of my hearing in my right ear.

I have always taken extreme measures of care with my hearing so to be practically deaf ontop of everything else has plunged me into an even deeper depression.

My coordination and balance are completely shot.

I need for something to go right for a change.... I can't cope with this much longer

Mood: nauseated

I saw this in a GoBlog this morning and it hit a chord so I thought I would share

I received this email from my friend quite some time ago. I think it's pretty interesting.

Bitchology

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart.

It means I live my life MY way.

It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

Thesame thing happens when I take time for myself instead of beingeveryone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have thecourage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won'tbecome anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.

You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.

I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything

Mood: thoughtful

1. go to www.google.com
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type " New York " in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type " London " in the second box (the "to" box) click on "Get Directions"
6. scroll down to step #24

I was sent this in an email, I just had to share XD

Tags: fun
Mood: amused

just a quick post to say I am still about.

Ive been feeling very disoriented lately, like I am in limbo, its all very bizarre, but yeah I am still around and trying to find enthusiasm for doing stuff.

My new laptop works great, the new recliner chair I bought as well is comfy but a real sod, I find it nigh on impossibly to close it up, I have to stand up and physically push the leg flap closed, even then it sometimes springs back open again, I have the bruises to prove it.

A bit later when I wake up some more I will catch up on what everyone has been doing lately.

Oh and is anyone is bored feel free to pop over to Nutty and click on a few google ads (not too many though don't want google getting suspicious and closing my account since I am not supposed to ask peeps to click on the ads), I am depending on that money to be able to repay my dad's loan for the lappy and chair.

Mood: tired

Ok for many folks that is nothing, but we have NEVER had one before, the centre was around 25 miles away so we didnt feel much here but shiiiiiiit

Mood: shocked