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[14 Jul 2008|03:23pm] [ mood | francais ] ( ENTREZ, MES AMIS! ) Bastille Day hot mix: http://monicavitti.muxtape.com/ meat and 6 veg| Cake time!

[22 Feb 2008|01:34pm] [ mood | disappointed ] An open letter to Nicole Kidman: Dear Nicole Kidman, I am so upset it has come to this. I fear I can no longer defend you in any capacity. You have squandered my good will, which seemed limitless! I championed your lesser-known performances, like in Birthday Girl and Birth and even though you caught a lot of flack for looking so pretty during the civil war, I thought you were very moving in Cold Mountain. I even thought The Invasion was OK and NOBODY liked that one. Most significantly, I defended you against the accusations of Botox, even though your name has now become synonymous with the drug in tabloidsville. I said "Look, she is millitant about staying out of the sun and she doesn't smoke! It is conceivable that she should have so few wrinkles!" I mean, you're a gal who wears longsleeves to the beach and goes jogging in summertime bundled up to the neck. You are also a gal whose had a rough time of it, what with being married to a crazy-dangerous dwarf who used to flush your medications down the toilet even though you have a very painful brittle bone-type condition and he wouldn't let you give your monies to poor women and children in Africa because it all had to go to $cientology. We were all so happy for you when you escaped and began making more intersting career choices and then you found love with another troll, but this time a harmless one, from your native land, even! Sure, you started to make some ill-advised career choices and your hair got progressively paler, but you seemed really happy!! Mr. Kola even said so. But then you had to go and do ( this: ) meat and 13 veg| Cake time!

[09 Feb 2008|10:15pm] [ mood | pleased ] DEAN WAREHAM HATES THE MOVIE "JUNO", TOO. = meat and 7 veg| Cake time!

[01 Aug 2007|03:13pm] [ mood | crushed ] Michelangelo Antonioni 1912-2007 ( Stills from some of his films & 2 clips ) meat and 2 veg| Cake time!

[31 Dec 2006|07:54pm] [ mood | bored ] Luna - Happy New Year We went to dinner at a pub and an Afrikaaner was sitting behind us. I was pretty much hypnotised the whole time by the dulcet tones of his oppressor accent. Why can't I have Afrikaaner friends? I would be really good to them and all they would have to do for me in return is talk. I bought lotsa dvds today and Morrissey's The Youngest Was The Most Loved single. The video for it is so suave. Men's Vogue has got to be the shittiest magazine ever made, except for, like magazines about fishing or retarded shit like that. I bought it for a 2-page spread about Dean and Britta. They are so cute together, it's borderline retarded. meat and 13 veg| Cake time!

[19 Oct 2006|01:13pm] [ mood | touched ] [ music | dean & britta - words you used to say ] Dear blond guy in the grey hoodie who I witnessed rescuing a flailing little bird on the sidewalk outside of the Ministry of the Attorney General building by scooping it up with a copy of the free weekly gay paper and gently whisking it to the bushes, thus preventing it from being trampled or dying on the pavement, You have restored my faith in humanity for the time being. Love, ahli meat and 8 veg| Cake time!

IN DEFENCE OF ORLANDO BLOOM: IN DEFENCE OF BEAUTY [19 Jul 2006|01:02pm] [ mood | irate ] Hello, and welcome to my essay titled In Defence of Orlando Bloom: In Defence of Beauty. Right off the bat, I would like to quash any suspicions that this essay might possibly be sarcastic or ironic. Believe me when I say I am one hundred per cent sincere and deadly serious on this matter. When I make a RANTY CAPSLOCK POST, I do not resort to "look-at-clever-me" caustic gimmicks; I RANT IN CAPSLOCK. Moving along. I am a fan of Orlando Bloom and I am not afraid or embarrassed to say so. I used to be, but I have come to realise the error of my ways and now I will proudly proclaim my love from the figurative rooftops of Livejournal. I think he is nice to look at and a perfectly adequate thespian. Sadly, in our society, it is very gauche to hold this viewpoint and I have often wondered why. It is my belief that an attack on Orlando Bloom is symptomatic of the increasing unfashionableness of anything that is pretty, trifling and innocuous. WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE PRETTY, TRIFLING AND INNOCUOUS? They make people happy, are lovely to look at and have no REAL negative impact on their surroundings. Let us take for example Orlando BLoom's character in the Pirates of the Caribbean films. He is the archetypal nice guy who can't catch a break: unglamourous compared to a certain pirate, terrifically earnest and somewhat less than adept at pitching woo. If he was played by an ugly dude in a classic John Hughes teen romantic comedy, everyone would be rooting for him. In Will Turner's case, however, it's very uncool, because instead of being charmingly ugly, his tragic flaw is a kind of "moral nerdiness" that goes all the way back to that Ashley fucker in Gone With The Wind, who was just as cool as Rhett Butler because he was played by Leslie Howard and I fucking loved him, OKAY? Anyway. It's become awfully trendy to hate on OB. It's as though critics and smartypantses have unanimously agreed that anything 13 year-old girls like must be greeted with a patronising "Oh, how very Tiger Beat *yawn, cringe*". 13 year-olds like Johnny Depp, too, but they're regarded as 13 year-olds with taste. This is not because Johnny Depp is a better actor; it is because Johnny Depp makes Tim Burton films and Tim Burton is ugly, and thus cool to faux geeks (these are the same people who think Robert Smith is cool because he has hideous hair and Morrissey sucks because he has the most perfect hair ever.) BUT I DIGRESS. Not everything 13 year-old girls like is wrong and shameful. When I was 13, I liked to dress up in equestrian clothes. It is the only fashion phase in the history of my life that I do not look back on with supreme regret. I could totally rock horse riding clothes. Look, he's not Laurence Olivier, but he gets the job done. I liken OB to a James Wilby-type. He is not a brilliant actor, but he can play a certain part just right. He's like a terribly earnest Errol Flynn for our times. And Errol Flynn was played by Jude Law in that Scorsese movie the other year, therefore you can think of this post as a little companion piece to last summer's 'In Defence of Jude Law'. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT. meat and 27 veg| Cake time!

[16 Mar 2006|11:15am] [ mood | enraged ] That new Coldplay song that rips off Kraftwerk makes me want to stomp on Chris Martin's non-existent testicles, cover him with a million papercuts and throw him in a bear trap and make him watch while I slowly murder ever single one of his relatives. Then I would tie him to a tree and shoot poison blow darts at his eyes while rats gnawed at his festering wounds. Hi. meat and 6 veg| Cake time!

[24 Feb 2006|09:03pm] [ mood | feh ] meat and 3 veg| Cake time!

[02 Nov 2005|04:14pm] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | this was pointless. ] ( meme. I LOVE MEMES, ALL OF THEM ) meat and 8 veg| Cake time!

[15 Oct 2005|11:11pm] I saw Domino tonight. It was a total incoherent mess but I enjoyed it anyway. It was fun and funny. How can you not at least get a bit of enjoyment out of a movie that has a Jerry Springer chair-throwing scene and former 90210 castmembers playing themselves as washed-up losers? Also, Keira tits. meat and 16 veg| Cake time!

[29 Aug 2005|11:05pm] [ mood | drunk ] [ music | vanessa went out with that tard noel ] ( Indian Buffet, Part II in a tryptich plus bonus pictures! ) meat and 7 veg| Cake time!

announcement [21 Jul 2005|04:51pm] [ mood | that only took all afternoon ] [ music | britta phillips ] In a show of solidarity with my poor, much-maligned love god, I have changed all my icons to Jude Law and will keep them for a week or two. Bless his cheatin' heart. meat and 21 veg| Cake time!

IN DEFENCE OF JUDE LAW [18 Jul 2005|01:24pm] [ mood | excited ] http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/003176.html Jude Law is a big slut and I, unlike most people, think it's awesome. The only sad thing is that he's saying he's sorry and all that. I say GO JUDE. This is not like when Hugh Grant picked up that scary hooker because the pressures of Hollywood were getting to him. This is the prettiest human being in the galaxy trying to deny his nature as a walking fuck. Am I supposed to not like it when a hot person has hot sex with as many other hot people as they can find? His cow ex-wife Sadie divorced him because of his "unreasonable behaviour". I'm guessing that translates to being a sexy sex machine and having sexy sex with every sexy person in sexytown. Unreasonable? More like expected! The tendency to be unfaithful is imprinted in a person's genes. Trying to make someone not cheat is like trying to make someone not gay. Don't fight it, baby. Just don't propose to anymore girls unless you know they are cool with your undeniable sexbombness. What does he need a wife for anyway? He has at least 3 kids, a really cute dog, a fancy-schmancy career, money, Sean Penn's deranged respect, and the power to have sex with at least 95% of the earth's population on demand. I, for one, am sad that we don't live in a world where Jude Law can feel free to have un-clandestine sex with people that Fatima's friends know. You take your weiner anywhere you want, baby. I won't judge. meat and 23 veg| Cake time!

this is rambly and incoherent but i've been sick to my stomach thinking about this all day [02 Jul 2005|09:34pm] But What difference can my little voice make? All the difference in the world. Every single person who signs the list at www.live8live.com or www.makepovertyhistory.org is contributing to one massive global voice to make the G8 leaders know that we are serious about ending extreme poverty in the world. Every time one person adds their name, or wears a white band, Make Poverty History’s voice gets louder. As Nelson Mandela said in Trafalgar Square earlier this year, “Sometimes it falls on a generation to be great.” We can be that generation. We can all be part of it. OK, so Live 8's done now. No, I don't think the whole thing feels as "big" and "important" as Live Aid did back in 1985 but it's not like we can fully assess what impact it's had until after the G8. What we do know is that over a million people on four different continents came out to support the cause. Tens of millions of people signed the petition. This wasn't about charity or handouts or screaming into a vacuum. Just millions of people, all over the world saying 'We care about Africa. We want our leaders to do more.' Of course there are people, probably lots of people who aren't all that interested in Africa and just wanted to see some big bands for free but I don't think the amount of cynicism I've seen in the media and in the general public is at all proportional to the relatively small number of people who are just out to have a good time. No, the amount of cynicism that such a truly well-intentioned cause as this has attracted is frightening. The idea that we should "help our own" before we look beyond our borders is problematic ("We need to take care of home first," said Joyce Singleton, a nurse's assistant in North Philadelphia. "Africans need to take care of themselves before they start asking for handouts." (Reuters). Sure, as nations we all have to think of ourselves before we think of others, because who else is going to put us first? Problems arise, however, when we become so insular in our way of thinking and our empathy that we do nothing when we can do something. The G8 nations are the richest in the world, with some of the highest standards of living. Yes, there is poverty, inequality and social injustice within our own borders, but look at what we don't have: genocide, civil war, famine and 75% of the world's HIV cases. There hasn't been a famine as huge as the 84-85 crisis, no, but what a lot of people don't realise is that hunger is still a real, constant problem and thousands die from starvation every single day. Is there any comparable problem at work in America, or Britain or France today? The problems and challenges faced by the average African are unfathomable to Westerners. Isn’t it all Africa’s fault? People in the developed world have a long and hilarious history of thinking that other races are inferior. This is just nonsense. Anyone who has seen a mother living on less than 65p a day and walking miles for water, will realise how daft it is. Things that we take for granted aren't a right for many Africans; they're a privilege or something that they can only dream of. Eg., only recently did the Ugandan government discontinue fees for primary school children. All children had to pay to go to school, period. No such thing as a free education even at the kindergarten level. Thankfully, that's no longer true in Uganda, but children still have to pay for their secondary school education and for books and uniforms at every level. Your tiny drop in the bucket that you feel will make no difference can actually pay for the tools a child requires to go to school. And with that education comes more prospects for employment and a better future for that child and its entire family. If the G8 leaders can be pressured into listening to their citizens, the people who elected them and to whom they're responsible and accountable, then countries besides Uganda could actually afford to make education free to every child. Working at AMREF has taught me a lot of stuff, most notably that in spite of the cynicism out there, there's a small number of incredibly hard-working people all over the world who do care and who know that we can make a difference in so many different ways. Another thing AMREF has taught me is that the most important step we as westerners need to take is to change the way we view Africans. Africa's been pigeon-holed into this designation as a continent of victims. Their role in the global community is to be the people who are unfortuante and who suffer and who are very, very poor and we feel so very bad, but what can we do? When we see a story on the local news about Africa, what sort of news is it? An outbreak of disease, a bloody civil war, the AIDS epidemic, etc. You'd think nothing good ever happens in Africa and no one from this vast continent ever did anything worth celebrating and yet, this is far from the truth. The world needs to be shown the other side of Africa: the rich cultures, the unique landscapes, the vibrant people, the HOPE that people still have in spite of the unrelenting hardships. When we finally are able to see Africans as fellow human beings, only separated by accident of birth and geography, then maybe we can have real empathy. People, in general, don't respond to logical arguments and words and pleas. They respond to emotional appeals. However warped it might be, if it takes Robbie Williams singing in front of an image of a starving child to make a person wake up and care enough to protest to their government or do donate whatever change they have in their pocket, then GOOD. I will flat-out say the end justifies the means. We're talking about empowering people who have been exploited and raped by generations of those more powerful and priviledged and it's time for all of us to give something back, because if we're better off than the mother who feeds her whole family on 65p a day, then we can do something. ( and here are my wholly frivolous thoughts on the music :) ) meat and 8 veg| Cake time!

lj meme [20 May 2005|10:42pm] [ mood | sluggish ] How many people are on it? 69, but eliminating fakes and duplicates, 50 How many have you met IRL? 16, plus another 5 not on my list How many are related to you (by blood and/or marriage)? 0 How many do you know by first and last (real) name? 35ish How many do you know by first (real) name only? 10 How many do you know by gender (don't peek!)? all, but I was confused about one for a while, HAahahah How many total strangers have Friended YOU? 9 currently, but the number has fluctuated over the years. Cake time!

[10 May 2005|10:15am] [ mood | tired ] I have come to the conclusion that I am not meant for any existence which requires me to be awake more than asleep. This is not really a shock. Also, I want this right now. meat and 9 veg| Cake time!

[27 Apr 2005|06:12pm] This is just ridiculous. Clearly the people and People are not reading Life & Style Weekly, otherwise, they'd have seen the horrifying, retina-searing picture of Julia out shopping AND LOOKING LIKE A HOMELESS SCHIZOPHRENIC DERELICT that has scarred my for fucking LIFE with its Quasimodo-level of hideousness. If I ran into Julia Roberts looking like that in a dark alley I would die of fright and my The Ring-esque death mask would cause anyone who viewd my corpse to also die of fright and the cycle would continue until the human race died out complpetely. THANKS JULIA ROBERTS THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE WITH NO MAKEUP. meat and 2 veg| Cake time!

yea verily i have no life [22 Apr 2005|11:47pm] meat and 1 veg| Cake time!

... [08 Jan 2005|02:52am] [ mood | hysterical ] [ music | wtf ] Wal-Mart Worker Fired Over Semi-Nude Photo Fri Jan 7, 7:09 PM ET U.S. National - AP MUSCATINE, Iowa - A Wal-Mart greeter was sacked for apparently showing too much of his friendly side to customers. Dean L. Wooten, 65, was accused of greeting customers with a computer-generated photo of himself in which he appeared to be naked — except for a carefully placed Wal-Mart bag — and of telling customers that Wal-Mart was cutting costs and the sack was the company's new uniform. A supervisor at the Muscatine store where Wooten had worked for seven years told him to knock it off after customers complained. He was fired five days later, in September, after he displayed the photo again. Wooten's application for unemployment compensation was rejected by an administrative law judge, who said "a reasonable person would know the act of showing a naked body wearing a Wal-Mart sack would not be good for the employer's business." Wooten said he did not see the harm in the photo, which he said was made by a friend who spliced a picture of Wooten's head onto a shot of another man's body. "When I first seen it, I pretty near died laughing," he said. meat and 3 veg| Cake time!

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