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[20 Feb 2008|12:41pm] |
If my people, who are called by my name,
will humble themselve and pray and seek my face
and turn from their wicked ways,
then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sins
and heal their land.
Chronicles 7:21
I have to believe that prayer is something bigger than what makes sense.
I have to believe that my prayers make a difference;
that when I intercede on behalf of people and situations,
and on behalf of this city,
that God hears.
breakfast with people that i love is a wonderful thing.
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[30 Dec 2007|10:59pm] |
I love that i can always come back.
At some point, something's gotta give.
At some point, there has to be a softening.
A melting.
And a breaking.
I love that when that point finally comes, it is good.
Open arms.
A gift.
"I want you to see."
Reminders.
The banqueting table, and the people.
Oh, the people!
Taste and see.
Taste and see that the Lord is good!
And I like that it's Jesus.
I like that he's the foundation; the core.
That wherever I dance,
He's the thing that remains the same.
Constant. Steady. Unchanging.
Variety. Diversity.
It's me. And it's good.
As long as He is the foundation.
"Lean into me,"
He says.
"Don't go it alone."
And I say,
Ok.
I'll try.
I love that I can see.
That I can intercede.
Intercession.
My heart. God's heart.
Words. Pictures. Scriptures.
Beautiful.
maybe hope?
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| "On that day," |
[11 Nov 2007|12:40am] |
today was
beautiful.
refuge.
rest.
healing.
prayer.
encouragement.
truth.
revelation.
being found.
twirling with Jesus.
friendship.
laughter.
community.
a new family.
chinese food.
tacos.
fellowship.
conversation.
safety.
blessing.
the limbo.
high jumps.
pictures.
dice.
side-splitting laughter.
sore cheeks from smiling.
oh ya. that's who i am.
that's where i can breathe.
i almost forgot.
intimacy is a beautiful thing
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[10 Oct 2007|10:29pm] |
a run down house,
and a floor you can't even see
because of all the stuff,
because of the mess.
a house that smells.
bad.
harsh words
an angry father
and some kids.
one of them
has a wet shoe.
and i walk away.
towards my car
my house.
my clean house
that smells
like chocolate chip cookies.
and i turn my back
and say
"see you next week."
and i feel my heart squeeze.
a glance back,
as they walk inside with heads down low,
and all i can do is ask
over and over again,
where is Jesus in that picture?
where is he?
because i just don't see him.
yup.
my heart needed a good shaking.
it was getting to be about that time.
"wake up."
i hear.
"it's time to wake up."
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[16 Sep 2007|12:37pm] |
i am so blessed
and God is so good
and i love it
[EDIT]
and then, i have moments like this
and i just don't know what to do with them.
and it's hard.
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[23 Aug 2007|12:08am] |
umm, so i love that my car got broken into today.
except that i don't actually love that so much.
i do, however, love that cars can be transformed into holy places of meeting with Jesus;
and that i can pray as loud as i want and no one will hear me.
that was refreshing.
i miss smiling, black children
and Congolese worship.
i miss team times on paul's bed,
the peppermint candies,
vulnerability
and prayer.
so much prayer.
i even miss bus rides
that are actually more like thrill rides.
i miss a lot of things
but i also love a lot of things about here,
and what here could become in the next year.
i just have a hard time bringing these two realities together into one,
and a very hard time communicating the hugeness of there to my community here.
my heart is not the same;
and i don't want it to be the same. ever.
but i just don't quite know how to let myself operate on that level in this place -
there's a tension.
not necessarily a bad one, but a tension none the less.
anyway.
conversation is GOOD.
God is GOOD.
good things are happening.
God has a vision for this year -
and i get to be a part of it.
to see little bits of it as it begins to take shape.
He's laying the bricks, one by one, and it's exciting.
i love encountering Jesus.
seeing him, hearing him, engaging with him.
it's just so fun :)
all that is to say -
God is still working,
his spirit is still moving,
and Jesus is still speaking.
even here in this place, too.
Hebrews 12 in the Message - it's also good.
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[17 Aug 2007|09:01pm] |
When I left home to be who I am
Some people said “no way”
But I laid it all down, gave everything
In my head rang the words that my Father said
You’re never far
I will be where you are
And when you come to Me
I will open My arms
Welcome home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know, son, it’s good just to see your face
When I look at you holding my heart
I will give to you all that I have
Son, I know there’ll be times you will feel all alone
I will share with you the words my Father said
You’re never far
I will be where you are
And when you come to Me
You can bet I will open My arms
So I’ll be waiting for that day
Just to feel Your warm embrace
Your love has shown I will never be alone
For You will welcome me home
I’ll forever be, for you will say to me
Welcome home
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[23 Jul 2007|04:31pm] |
week one in africa -
and it has been FANTASTIC.
joy. love. faith. joy. team. mice. laughter. joy. prayer. adventures. children. pineapple. oatmeal. joy. goodness all around.
and if i had time i would email you all and tell you stories. but time is hard to come by :)
hope you are all having a fabulous summer and enjoying the beach :)
be JOYFUL always, PRAY continually, give THANKS in all things, for this is God's will for you in ALL circumstances.
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[12 Jul 2007|12:48am] |
God is at WORK
His Spirit is MOVING
and Jesus is SPEAKING
oh ya.
and i have the most amazingly awesome team ever in the history of teams.
this is like "team" like "team" has never been before.
right. this is a good place.
and...i leave for africa in, um, three days!
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[20 Jun 2007|10:24pm] |
i LOVE that i am re-learning how to pray.
and not re-learning the same thing;
but more.
a bigger way
of being in the presence of GOD.
and i love that it transforms everything -
that things just start to click.
and i love that there is always more to learn.
more to discover
to understand
more to know.
God is BIG. really. BIG.
and faithful.
i love that i am learning to find my voice.
and to USE it
without being afraid.
umm, and i love waterfights
and ( this little boy, )
especially on good days
when i don't want to pull my hair out :)
and i LOVE winnipeg.
i love days when i am reminded ( why i love winnipeg; )
because sometimes i forget...
oh ya, and i also love that i get to go to africa in three weeks!
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[17 Jun 2007|10:00pm] |
|
...and it was GOOD.
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[10 Jun 2007|06:42pm] |
i LOVE gelatti.
especially when it is combined with sitting in parks
conversation and vulnerbility
depth and authenticity
prayer and encouragement
and UNITY in Jesus.
YES.
take me deeper still
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[26 May 2007|10:59pm] |
feeling sick is pretty yucky.
not being able to sleep ia also not fun.
BUT,
ideas
dreams
vision
and hope
filling up your thoughts is a beautiful thing.
instead of running away
why not engage?
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| a bit of transparency? |
[20 May 2007|11:46pm] |
so, i really hate making decisions. like, really. not one of my strong points. especially when they effect some of the most important parts of my life, probably for a long time to come. and when the same decision keeps coming back year after year needing to be made, once and for all, and doesn't, it gets very frustrating and discouraging.
i hate the in-between. i'm sick of the in-between.
the back and forth. the transition. the coming and going.
i'm done.
and i'm craving belonging.
depth.
anywhere, to anything.
just somewhere to really, truly, belong.
and it would be so nice if that place, wherever it is, would come,
all by itself,
and pull me in and 'make' me belong.
[but life isn't always like that. i know.]
and it would be so great if that place would fit,
so perfectly,
with my heart -
my desires, my passions, my gifts.
and, with my spirit.
God's spirit in me,
the way He moves and is and has His being
in me and through me.
anyway. maybe that place is right under my nose, and i just haven't discovered it yet. maybe i just don't know how [or where?] to really discover it. and maybe i could learn to disocover it there, and that would be really great.
or, maybe it's not. maybe it's just not that place.
but if it's not,
then Jesus,
where do i go from here?
i'm just not ready to settle.
i've come too far to just settle.
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[19 May 2007|01:39am] |
and
the birthday has been redeemed.
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[17 May 2007|09:53pm] |
little boys
with kites that get stuck in trees,
and friendly neighbours
with long kite rescuing poles
makes for a very pleasent evening.
i like the kids i get to have in my life.
they are beautiful,
every single one of them.
oh ya. God is so FAITHFUL. again. like, really. especially when it seems that i am the most faithless, the most undeserving, He is faithful. and, suddenly, all worrying seems trivial because there is a God who holds all things in His hands.
and i am blown away.
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[09 May 2007|12:15am] |
ok.
i made a decision.
time to stop wallowing and MOVE ON.
right.
the end.
ilovementors.
pretty much the best invention ever.
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[06 May 2007|11:02pm] |
i miss
Sunday mornings of refreshment
as deep calls out to
deep and
finds renewal.
Dancing
at the foot of the cross
overwhelmed
by faithfulness.
Sunday nights with
tea
and prayer;
white couches
and hugs.
Afternoons in coffee shops
alone.
journal, pen
tears
healing. trust.
But i LOVE
afternoons of conversation
on swings.
thank you for listening
refreshing.
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[05 May 2007|01:54pm] |
this has been a hard week.
culture shock has never been a real thing until now
and i don't know what to do with it.
or with this new world
that i don't know quite how to fit myself into.
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| pictures pictures pictures pictures etc. |
[26 Apr 2007|09:51pm] |
Originally uploaded by .lisa.. photos from the past three weeks finally sorted through....click on the picture to see more!
feels good to be back in bc, but i can't wait to come home. i'm excited and nervous and apprehensive all at the same time.
home.
i have come to have a huge appreciation for home over the past two years; having somewhere to come back to where people know you and where you have a history. it's a nice feeling. though re-entering a world after being out of it for two years is a scary thing; people change, i change, who knows what it will be like - but i have a feeling it's gonna be ok. maybe not in the way i want it to be, but somehow, it will all be ok.
anyway.
Monday. home on Monday.
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a_paradox's journal