absolutely fucking nothing [20 Oct 2004|11:03pm] FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!! kill me now

[17 Oct 2004|02:01am] [ mood | no way to describe my boredom ] [ music | people typing ] Red or Pink?: red Naughty or Nice?: naughtly nice Penguins or Elephants?: penguins Pepsi or Coke?: COKE! Water or Gatorade?:water China or Japan?: china Candy or Cake?: candy Ocean or Lake?: lake Dreams or Reality: real dreams Handjob or blowjob?: no job Bracelet or Earrings?: plugs Style or Sophistication?: style Wealth or Prosperity?: prosperity Easy or Challenging: easy Pretty or Practical?: pretty Velvet or Feather? velvet kill me now

[03 Oct 2004|01:30am] [ mood | bored off my asshole ] [ music | bitches blabbin about nothing ] so since everyone and their mutha's have gotten myspace, no one writes in their journals no more. i mean both are extremely fagalicious but i gotta be old school and less gay for a little. so journal hmm, hows life? well it's goin fine. my girlfriend is the shit!!! i love her but i hate the fact that she still talks to her ex's. i get so pist but i want to make her happy so i told her it was cool if her ex aline came to chill during the weekend even tho i really dread this happening, anything to make my baby happy. oh yeah this weekend me and jamie n daddy are going to halloween horror nights. whoo! it would be better if it wasnt in orlando, not only is aline there but i've had madd shitty times there. oh well i just pray i dont run into certain people. so i have to go tot he doctor today cuz i have pink eye stuff. it's not cool but it's fun. not really actually. it pisses the fuck out of me. anyways, i'm in computer class and this is the most boring class i've ever had, we dont do anything and since it's school compuers, we can only go to certain sites, even myspace is considered "innopropriate" bastards so therefor i have to keep writing as much as my little hands can take so i can take up time. i still have 1hour and 15minutes left in this class. fucking block scheduling. ok so i guess i'll go for the moment and i'll write more after i get bored web surfin. peace children.... I LOVE JAMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kill me now

Jamie- [26 Sep 2004|09:18pm] i'm sorry. not only for overreacting to everything, but i'm sorry for being possesive. sorry for wanting so much fucking love but not giving you as much as u want. i'm sorry for being distant when people are around and for ignoring sometimes. i'm sorry for pushing u away when we're sleeping. i'm sorry for being so quiet and bothered when we're with ur dad and not being very polite. i'm sorry for not going to school as much. i'm sorry for bumming shit off of you. i'm sorry for not eating. i'm sorry i got sick at mikes house and asked u to stop. i'm sorry for being so fucking hypocritical all the fucking time. and i'm really sorry for walking away. i can't help it. i'm sorry for over analyzing everything too much. i can't help that either i just keep thinking everythings too good to be true. i'm sorry for not saying all this in person. i wouldn't be able to look u in the eye and i would feel like more shit. i'm sorry when i have bad days and it makes u sad. i'm sorry i can't help the fact that i'm so damn jealous. i hate it when girls even look at you. i'm sorry i'm so scared to lose you, even though i know that i never will. i'm sorry we don't look at the stars anymore, maybe it was a one night thing. i'm sorry i'm so addicted to so much. i wish i could just be addicted to something positive. i'm sorry i'm so dependant on you. i'm sorry i can't hold my own when i'm without you. i'm sorry i'm so fucking emo at times. i'm sorry for being so stupidly in love with you, everything about you, flaws and all. i'm sorry i cant just be content with being happy. i guess i'm just sorry. but most of all, i'm fucking sorry that i cant go back and change anything. 1 people xkill me now

compliments of a broken nightmare [24 Sep 2004|02:23pm] a D I S G U S T I N G cleche 159 Disgusting. 146 Disgusting. My clothes now barely fit; I'm starting to see more, now that there is less. A beautifully Painted whore; An ass to die for, So why are my thighs killing me? 142 Disgusting. 139 Disgusting. Control, and self confidence; Praise from all directions, So why can't I see past this crooked line? These once broken ribs, this freshly pierced naval; Now it's not so disgusting, now your not so appauled. 136 Disgusting. 132 Disgusting. You're intrigued by what you see, and I'm feeding off how you look at me; So why are we still both so displeased? One word *disgusting* - two thoughts: 132 Disgusting. Her hands smell of vomit masked by smoke; disgusting kill me now

[24 Sep 2004|02:17pm] it has forever been the little things that make me giddy like a damn retard. i heard "god called in sick today" yesterday, sam's pregnant, and i'm really happy for her, dad isnt threatening me anymore cuz my mom talked to him about GED, and i've just been happy. i'm sitting in 4th hour now and i'm kinda bored but i get to see my favorite lesbian after school, yay me. speaking of yay... yummm co-caiiinnnne.... so i dont know, i need to chill with some people again, i kinda miss them, but i guess thats all i feel like blabbin about for now so i'll catch u later... kill me now

im jamie [20 Sep 2004|07:21pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | kaylas giggling!!!!:) ] i juss brought chris toilet paper cause he took a shit and forgot toilet paper im smoking a cigarette...sex and cigarettes...yum.matts a tweeker fag and hopes to get laid tonight even tho hes gonna b kiki to the 10th power! roasted and salted almonds!!!its 7 23 and chris has been playing pokemon since 2 30...omg its a crack addiction!im sick...I LOVE KAYLA!!!!every1 thinks kaylas hot. and shes mine mwahahahahahaha ill kill u motherfuckers!!!!ne1 touches kayla and ill fucking kill u!!!!!!yey! spagetti!chris caught a pokemon so hes dancing in circles!!!ok i think im done!!!by the way kaylas mine!!!!hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! kill me now

sitting in class eating an ass... [16 Sep 2004|02:39am] Sitting in class eating an ass waiting away the minutes that pass when out of the blue it started to creed a big nasty fart from out of the deep she didn't say stop not even a "no" I had no idea she was about to blow then i heard that dreadful sound (FARRRRRRRT)good god it blew me down knocked me the fuck up off my feet it sounded like the tearing of a sheet noxious fumes filled the whole room an awful green gas that followed the boom she sprayed the walls she sprayed my face poo flew out of her ass all over the place she had blown an o ring, busted a bowel flatulated the flatulator right on my brow so if ever you sit bored in class force her to fart before munching that ass - You Knowww kill me now

tara thinks she can beat my ass... i think its time for drano and bbguns [14 Sep 2004|02:16am] so maybe you dont know by now... maybe you were deaf dumb and blind when i went over this the last time... don't fuck around... i dont care if u like jamie or whatever it is... but the second that u voice it, you're fucked... i will gut you like a fucking fish... and for whoever else that wants to disrespect the fact that i'm dating jamie, i will fucking kill you... i will... i dont give a shit... dont go behind my back and tell her u still like her, dont go behind my back and tell her you want to fuck her, dont ask if she'll fuck u if she was single, don't mind fuck her into anything, dont try, dont bother, u wont win and not only will u lose but u'll have a psycho bitch on ur tail for a long time, or at least until i catch u and hang u with rusty hooks by ur fucking nipples from my ceiling... so fuck around n see what happens bitch 1 people xkill me now

[14 Aug 2004|10:09pm] so me and jamie date but mommy n daddy dont know cuz they is homophobic. fucking bastards. she makes me giddy. so i've been living with her for about a month. it's been fun. a lot of good times. a lot of great sex. a lot a lot a lot. school starts in 2 days and i'm goin back to 9th. so is jamie. fucking education bullshit. fuck the system. i'm sittin with will right now at jamies cuz she left to go do sumthin. i went to the mall today n bought clothes, whoo fuckin hoo. dad's back in town, god i hate him. basically if i dont get a's and b's i get sent away again to boarding school till i graduate high skool. fuck you dad!!!!!!! my brothers 18 now and still hasnt moved the fuck outta my house. hopefully i'm gettin emancipated when i turn 16. whatever. it doesnt matter cuz even if i do i have to find an awesome income sum how. ok i'mna go cuz jamie got back.... 2 peoples xkill me now

[30 Jul 2004|03:37pm] so i'm gunna get a swallow as my cover up tattoo. me and jamie are stayin madd sober. kristi's almost over starful. i love kristi. jamie's ass is huge. HUGE!!!! frodo dates a girl, hehe. mommy's bein nice to me and lettin me do what i want. i haven't been home in like... 6 days? i need money for my tat but i wanna get one more piercing before my tat. kristi's dancing like a retard, it makes me happy. we and kayla shill it. means me and kayla share it. making a sandwich for xt. bye kill me now

[25 Jul 2004|04:03pm] does any one wanna come with me to get my tattoo? 2 peoples xkill me now

a little laura-esque [18 Jul 2004|04:48pm] [ music | dont fuck wit me laura ] "so guys, you'll never believe how much fun i had last night. i went to jamie's at 3:02pm saturday afternoon and jared and joe were there. we hung out for 2 hours, 23 minutes and 46 seconds. jamie had on white shoe laces with a blue colared shit and a pair of billabong khaki cut off shorts. jared was wearing a white wife beater, also known as a "a-shirt" with his usual pair of ecko jeans, about 3/4 of an inch of his blue, stripped calvin cline boxers were showing. joe this time was wearing a black shirt with a american eagle symbol on the left top breast of his shirt, along with a pair of khaki long pants. so back to the night, as i was saying, we played pool for 1 hour, 2 minutes and 15 seconds. when that was done we started talking about what we were going to do for the rest of the evening. i said 5946373 words, jared said 44, jamie said 58, and joe said 2 words during the conversation. so after all that we decided to go to jared's house where we hung out until an amazing idea struck us. we decided to go to walgreens and play there for 4 hours, 14 minutes and 27 seconds. we did absolutely NOTHING!!! it was the best time of my life. (although this is basically where my night ended, i'm going to proceed to write another aganizingly boring 12 more paragraphs, because i'm laura and i love to talk about me and the boring rediculous shit i do day to day.) so while i was in walgreens, i began to think about jamie, naked, in ice cream. not only was she in ice cream but there was also chuncks of peanut butter cup and whipped cream (ready-whip) in the ice cream which jamie was covered in. at that moment i knew i was in love. i know jamie doesn't like me at all but i still love looking into her window at night just so i can count the amout of breaths she takes each hour. so when i came back into reality i realized that jared was breathing heavy like a fat man in the desert. as i turned to look at him he quickly turned his head so i wouldn't think he was looking at my butt. i know he meant no harm but sumtimes i wonder why he always puts weird pills in my drink when i sleep over his house? so back to jamie, i know she thinks i'm an immature little piece of shit but i know somewhere in her heart we both share the same love for eachother. when i started to think about love i suddenly began to hear the name "oreo" in my head. for all of you who dont know, oreo was the boy that ripped and dipped on my immature little bitch ass. i know oreo loved me the same as i loved him at the time he just didnt show it. but i could tell because he said "Listen BITCH i hate you with a red hot firey passion i hope you and all your little friends die of gonasyphamonoherpalades type c and when you die i will piss on all your graves and wach the daisies grow so i can step on them grind them up and smoke tham thank you and have a nice day please drive up to the next window. PS laura and all you other dumb hoes (you know who you are)i have a girlfriend so leave me the fuck alone" i know he loves me, still to this day. because the night i saw him at beach place he didnt tell me to slice my wrist so i know he really loves me. okay guys!!! well i guess i'll go for now, i'll write more as soon as i do something for an hour. but actually i think jamie's sleeping right now so i really have to go!!!! i'll update later. bye kids!!! LAURA kill me now

i once heard a story about this boy that was dating this girl... [17 Jul 2004|02:29pm] maybe it's just the way the rain stopped all of a sudden, or maybe the way that the wind didnt come, before nor after the storm. maybe it means i'm supposed to change. maybe i say what i want but in the wrong wording. so many things and aspects of this situation i can't figure out. i'll always love him even tho he thinks i'll be happier without him. no i wont be happier. maybe that's the cover story because you'll be happier with out "us." i'm not the person i used to be. i see everything from such different fucking levels and aspects. it's not all fun and games. respect, love, trust, oppotunity, what you feel comfortable with, they're all factors in a relationship. and i just happen to look from each one before i do something or say something. i wish you knew me before. i wish i knew you before. i wish we knew eachother in general. i dont think being apart will help me, but maybe it'll help you. so if thats what you need, it's for you not me. you can't assume what will make me happier or more miserable. also, some things in my life i am willing to change for you and some mean too much to me, to be able to change. so i'll try and keep trying to change what i can for you. not only will i change it but i'll do it with a cherry on top. i want to make you happy, but somethings mean too much to me to change. i dont know if i can. i will try but if i figure in the end i dont want to, i'm not fucking changing. and i know it's not that you want everything about me different, i know you love me the way i am. and i know you're not used to a girl like me. i can't blame you. i used to be the kind of girl you like. but the only thing in this world that's consistant, is change. i guess all you can do is expect it. so i guess all i want you to pay attention to out of this whole thing is that, i want you to be happy and you want me to be happy, so therefore one of us will be happy, and in the long run only youself matters. do what your heart tells you to do. 1 people xkill me now

so this is what me n adrie came up with [13 Jul 2004|01:55am] [ mood | nauseated ] [ music | my headache pounding-i miss teck ] me and adrienne were talking and we figured out our twisted little fucking situation... frodo is my ex boyfriend, frodo starts to like adrienne and begins to hate me with a fiery red passion, me and adrienne start to chill,jamie starts to like adrienne but laura likes jamie, frodo stops liking adrienne because he doesnt like the way she is around me, and frodo starts liking kristi but kristi likes star and star is dating erica who just broke up with nick and still has feelings for jon becaus eit was her first love, i'm with teck this whole time, teck doesn't like star that much, but he kinda liked frodo until he found out frodo was trying to ruin my life, so now, adrienne isn't dating anyone, kristi is single too, i'm with teck, frodo isn't with anyone and star is with erica, so after all this only 2 people are with someone. so basically everyone wasted a bunch of feelings for nothing to wind up in the end. don't you love the way that everything ends exactly how it began. so my advice to you, go somewhere new, meet someone new and try to step out of that fucking circle that never ends. 3 peoples xkill me now

[07 Jul 2004|05:01pm] i need ideas for my a tattoo to cover up my mushroom kill me now

erica, life goes on. [06 Jul 2004|04:33pm] well fist off, i've been doing good. i'm a shithead tho cuz i forgot my anniversary. next off, erica nothing has changed between us. shit happens, life goes on. i thought u were madd at me that's why i haventcalled. i was waiting for u to call me. but i have eternal love for u and i dont think anything can change that. so have no worries. i love u n we will chill soon. so... i've been a bitch lately but it's odd cuz i'm happy but also being a bitch. i dunno. okay so star railed this hella hot chick a minute ago n i wanna fuck her too lol. but star is going 40 days n 40 nights without sex so if anyone catches him, tell me. or tell adrienne or kristi. we will find out STAR!!!! okay so i miss jamie too, she makes me giddy like a retard. okay bye kill me now

i let you get the best of me, becuz it's the only thing i'm good at [01 Jul 2004|02:37am] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | fucking fall out boy- grand theft autumn ] i'm so proud of myself. it's 2:37 am and since 7pm till now i have figured out everything. i know what i hate, i know who i hate, i know what hurts, emotionally and physically, i know what sucks, i know what rocks, i know who i love, i know who loves me and i'm content. thats alot of shit to figure out in 7 hours and 37 minutes. i'm happie-ish. i got to chill with adri n kristi n star today plus seeing everybody else, dana, candace, dave, teck n them. i kicked frodo in the balls!!! i started shit with M-A-J-I-K NIGGA! pussy ass bitch. candace's mom said i was a sweetheart. i smelt china's fingers. i saw barbra sloppy. china was drunk and HAPPPY. (for those of you who dont know china, it's really great when he's drunk n HAPPY) i sat on adris floor with kristi adri n megan and talked about good times. i told everyone how tiny frodo's dick really is. i cut desire off completely and told her wassup. and outta all this, i still managed to get mines. god i forgot how much i like chillen with star, he makes me giddy. he's my fuckin best guy friend. that boy got my back thru think n thin. (if u read this, thank you babe) frikkin adri n kristi are forever down, i love those fuckin gurlies. ::oh and adrienne, if frodo breaks ur heart i will break his neck and then rip every limb from his scrawny, bitch ass body:: just cuz i know u'd do the same for me. oh yeah!!!! if anyone ever wants to make me the happiest mutha fucker in the world, just take me to a thursday show or from autumn to ashes. damn, i wanna go, my boyfriends on the couch n i gotta go sleep or sumthing. the one n only kay-la-la-l<3ve 1 people xkill me now

[21 Jun 2004|05:55pm] i'm so beyond spacey today and it's great. this is the kind of bullshit that makes me happy, not knowing 100% whats going on. hmmmmm i love it. 2 peoples xkill me now

new begginings with pre meditated endings [20 Jun 2004|06:29pm] dear morning sun, i hate the fact that this will never end. i'll never give this feeling a chance to die. it's forever with me. i hate everything so much. i'll never be content. it hurts too much. i dont want feeling anymore. no one knows how much this hurts. my eyes burn. my stomach aches. my cheeks are wet. and my heart empty. the only feeling left is the blood running down my body. i can't live out this repetitive nightmare anymore. i can't have this feeling everytime i get close to what i have to say. i'm sorry that my cries are useless. my wishes already heard. my dreams already crushed. i can't help the cause anymore. i'm sooo sorry. i keep hearing you say "old habits die hard." too bad i never listen. so goodbye to the life i once knew. sorry i wasn't what you expected. i never seem to fulfill anyones expectations. forever, your blackened sky p.s. sorry is just a word to break the silence, i figure if i say it enough, you'll listen sooner kill me now

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