| i want to fly again.
my current job makes me want to commit suicide. or murder.
working for commission brings out the worst in people. i hope i don't have to work this job much longer than i have to.
*secreting a new job* | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment   |
| i love (and sometimes hate) that this town is so small.
i was just at the airport walking right beside beside a.c. slater. i mean, mario lopez.
as in shoulder to shoulder. so i talked to him. told him that i think i saw him at a party in mgm 2 weeks ago.
he said that yes, he was at the mgm grand 2 weeks ago. hahaha! anyway, he actually looks better in person than on tv.
i did not whip out a camera on purpose. lol.
the night before, joan and i were at tao
  
cover and drinks care of my new friend, cesar, the lead door host at the club.
he's the one with hair. lol. what a cutie :)
no line, no cover, no problem :) which is great because thursday nights at tao are INSANE and the lines to get in are just crazy long. anyway, it turns out cesar lives 2 streets away from me so i'm pretty sure we'll be seeing a lot more of him.
here's me looking possessed in vip:
scary! haha!
fun fun fun.
i'm trying really hard to forget about j. it's not really working, but i appreciate the moments of distraction.
p.s.
i just watched little britain - usa. i am very diappointed :( | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i had dinner with my friend lea and her mom. i was going to go out for drinks afterwards but i got lazy and spent the evening in bed with my faithful macbook.
( survey chorva. )
p.s.
i have just decided that i am, once again, in love with las vegas :) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i'm doing ok.
stressed out but coping. my friends have been keeping me sane. i thank the Lord for all of them and all of you.
chefboy has stopped talking to me. i think it has something to do with not sleeping with him. the cute watch guy from palazzo has a live-in girlfriend. oh well.
i guess my challenge now is how to look fabulously put-together when i'm actually falling apart... because at some point, i will start to actually believe the illusion. lol.
p.s.
i got your message, pia. thanks so much. work has been crazy, will call you soon. thank you. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| why am i always being asked out by 21 to 22-year-old boys???
vegas newbie, food-geek CIA-grad, sous chef at light group's fix restaurant, napa valley born and raised, family has a vineyard, drives a bmw coupe, sweet, sweet, young man... but i just want to be FRIENDS!!!
why can't he be 10 years older???
...so am i too old for the men over 35? | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
| driving home from blue martini last night.
that's my roommate, joan. she's been trying desperately to get me out of the house to meet someone. we have not been successful. i'm way too picky, i don't like to talk to anyone under 34 and i REFUSE to even SPEAK with anyone wearing more than one piece of clothing by affliction or christian audigier. i swear, head-to-toe ed hardy makes me throw up.
not that anyone really talks to me, anyway.
*sigh* i just can't be bothered anymore.
( desperately trying to get some sleep. ) | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | thank you, God. thank you, universe. | | |
| it's a small world. las vegas is even smaller. and the retail world is miniscule.
cute watch guy KNOWS me :) well, at least he remembers me... my roommate's friend from tourneau at the forum shops spoke with him last night and told him about me and cute watch guy knew EXACTLY who he was talking about and said that he has has seen me at the palazzo and that i should keep walking by his store because he and his girlfriend are not doing so well. looks like girlfriend has been cheating on him and at this point, EVERYONE in retail knows and he wants out. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| i went to tao on my birthday.
not because it was my birthday, i went because my friend, arlene, was in town. we had not seen each other since high school. she left for canada on our junior year.
(i swear, crest whitestrips are the shit.)
these are her friends.
they party hard.
i can learn a thing or two from these chicks...
because i have somehow forgotten the art of party.
in other news, there's this really cute guy that i saw at the palazzo last week. i thought he was a guest. today, i walked past a jewelry/watch store and saw him behind the counter. HE FUCKING WORKS AT THE PALAZZO. what's even better is that i saw him WATCH ME walk past. he actually TURNED HIS HEAD. on my way back, he was by the fountain taking his break with a co-worker. his buddy tapped his shoulder then he looked up and LOOKED AT ME. i saw him looking. I SWEAR.
now i'm kind of excited to go to work tomorrow.
edit: the guy's name is ryan and he has a HOT girlfriend. OF COURSE. my roommate's friend used to work with him. i saw her myspace. ugh.
p.s.
i don't like bebe but these shoes make me feel good and i can't afford the dior ones, anyway.
i felt like letting the inner slut out once again and wore them with a denim miniskirt and a loose t-shirt that ties up in the back, revealing a lot of my back. i didn't take any pictures. i don't need proof of the inner slut's existence, it's enough to know that she comes by every now and then when i need to feel dirty. mustn't let that inner slut take too much control, now... good to know that my smoking hot fuckmeheels will also work with my very conservative pencil cut skirts and the ragged wifebeaters and v-necks i acquired from the ex.
hay nako. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| how can i get this thin?
can i gym myself down to that? is that even possible???
that stomach is hot. omg. | | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment |
| God talks to me in very strange ways. i wish i had time to explain in detail but i have to get ready for church.
in other news, j called the other day. i left my phone in the car so i was unable to answer. i was in tropical smoothie again for yet another sunrise-sunset-double-fat-metabolizer-and-goji when he called but he left a message. said it would be nice if we could see each other before he leaves for london.
i haven't called him back yet. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| i had lunch with my friend, collin. we went to tropical smoothie cafe.
he made me get a combo with my smoothie so i had half a turkey bacon ranch sandwich (yum!)
with my usual sunrise-sunset with fat metabolizer and goji.
i LOVE this stuff. a smoothie alone keeps me going for hours but paired with a sandwich,
it fills me up for an entire day. in fact, we went to lunch just before 11am today
and i've only just finished my smoothie like 2 seconds ago.
anyway, i went and bought more shit.
sunglasses...
and two dresses from my favorite local boutique.
i won't take pictures of the dresses because i'm too lazy to put them on right now.
i couldn't find that romper at a/x :( but i felt like dressing slightly provocatively today
because my self-esteem is at an all-time low and i want attention.
i'm wearing gold gladiator sandals and my indy.
SOMEONE WONDERFUL will think i'm wonderful, too. dammit. | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| 
Extreme Dior Gladiator Platform $770.00 (special order)
i am not a shoe person. i don't like spending a lot of money on shoes and i VERY RARELY go insane over a pair of shoes. then i come across a pair of badboys like these and i experience pure lust. and then, i am savagely reminded of how broke my ass is at the moment. i am so broke that even if i manage to pull some strings and get a discount, i still couldn't afford them!!!
i found something similar at steve madden:
but they're in patent leather and well... they just don't look as fabulous :( WHY?????????
i hate being skint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| my HOA wants me to install landscaping for my backyard. I CANNOT AFFORD THAT RIGHT NOW and as it is, i am struggling to keep up with the mortgage every month.
i hate my life. i hate my job. i hate the fact that i have been replaced in jason's life, i hate that i cannot afford the demands of my home.
everything important to me here has somehow turned against me and thrown me off balance. my career, jason, and now my house. i am in way over my head now. i don't think i can handle any of this anymore. BELIEVE ME... i have remained as positive as i could for most of my time here. the secret has been my fuel ever since i moved here. even my friends think i was too optimistic. i've lost it all now. i feel like i have run out of faith and hope... and love just always gets me into trouble. i want to give up completely. i want to stop breathing. i want the pain to end.
I AM DROWNING.
i don't know why i'm posting this... maybe i'm hoping someone can help me through this but i know there is nothing anyone can do or say to help me. how i wish someone could help me figure this all out but i have seriously lost all hope now and i don't see why i'm still here. | | |
| this is jason's girlfriend, judy.
seriously? she kind of looks like me... only i think i'm prettier. but that's not important. she's a dancer and i hear she's really smart, too.
ok. she wins.
i hope you two are happy together, jason and judy.
omg i am so jealous!!! omg!!! i am SOOOOOOOO jealous!!!
i'm so jealous i want to jump off the stratosphere and land face down.
can i die now? please??? | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
| it's been over nine months since jason left me. i used to wonder what went wrong but i guess now i know it was my fault and i've learned to accept the fact that he just wasn't ready to be with me. i'll tell you though, he truly was - and still is - the love of my life. i spoke to my sister about it today and even she agreed that she had never seen me so happy to be with someone, not even when i was married, and so sad when that person left. ironically, it is that same love that gives me the strength to go on without him.
how does that cliche go again? ...when you love someone, you have to set them free. you have to be able to turn around and walk away if that's what makes them happy. wish them well, hope for the best, keep them in your prayers, be thankful for the moments you shared with them, the pieces of their life that they shared with you... exhale... and let go.
thing is, i'm just afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. i am truly convinced that i am invincible. i am cursed with a long life and doomed to live to be at least a hundred years old, which means i have at least 70 years ahead of me. and that's a pretty long time to be alone. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
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_darra_'s journal
