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Etoile

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*burp* [09 October 2008|10:12am]
Last night I drank most of a pitcher of sangria, because [info]jeannieoui remembered she had driven to the tapas bar after we ordered the pitcher. To be entirely honest, I can think of worse things to do with a Wednesday night! It was made with rose wine and berries. Yum.

It's been kind of a nuts few weeks but other than that thing where the entire global economy is melting like a surrealist clock, things have evened out. I have tasty kitchen-related surprises planned for [info]macnbc this Sunday, for his birthday, and I have enjoyed strategically hiding elements in places where he will never think to look for them.*

Those of you who are more up on the YA book scene than I am (like, say, those of you who might work in it, hehe), is City of Ember as good a book as the movie trailers make it look? I am intrigued by the story idea and haven't read a proper book in ages.

In sad news, one of my closest friends has suffered a major loss in his family this week. I hate feeling unable to reach out and help him and his family but sometimes, there's just nothing you can do. He knows that I, and others, are there for him but that sort of grief and healing aren't the kind of thing we can make go away.

So a reminder, folks: about the only good thing death does for us in this world is to remind us to tell those closest to us how we feel, early and often. <3


*No, sweetie, you really won't. And if you try to find them, I will look at the cruise excursions. So don't.
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See Subject. :-P [03 October 2008|09:35am]
[ mood | Literally angry with rage ]

To: Republican Party
CC: Democratic Party
From: EtoilePB
Subject: Fuck You

Dear American Political Parties,

If I hear "average American" and "Main Street" bandied about in the condescending fucktard way you use them one more time, I might just bust a nut, head across the river, and start bashing in heads.

Here's a news flash:

In addition to existing more in and near cities than in mythical 1950s "small towns," Americans come in a wide variety of types. My friend doing the dog rescue in rural Georgia? American. My left-wing lawyer friend in Boston? American. My schoolteacher friend in suburban Ohio? American. My friend in Los Angeles with a JD, who works as an extra sometimes because she likes it? American. My boyfriend's huge, Christian family from North Carolina? American. My kindergarten friend, preparing to marry the woman of her dreams? American. My friend in publishing, married to an Orthodox rabbi? American.

And me? I'm American too, and I can see through all this bullshit. If you're going to go Capra-Stewart populist, please at least start doing it well. You are all made of money, a machine, and ideology, and you are not selling it well. (Capra did sell it well, for the record.) Stop thinking of ways to repackage and exclude segments of the population. We do that enough on our own. Stop defining America as Al Bundy. We do that enough on our own, too. Those of us who like to read newspapers, books, and a world's array of magazines? Still American.

It's well past time to stop catering only to the small segment of the population that defines itself by ignorance and isolation, and well past time to start trying to, you know, solve an actual problem or two. Because it's not as if we don't have plenty.

In conclusion, fuck off.

No love,

Me.

(Oh, and P.S.: Any bipedal, breathing humanoid is a "real person," whether it's a polyamorous drag queen from the west coast or a coal miner from Appalachia. Or even Barack Obama. For reals.)

16 pirates | sail away?

[02 October 2008|10:42am]
[ mood | busy ]

1.) Yes, the National Book Festival was cool. Mostly. When I got off of the Metro and headed up the Mall (world's freaking longest piece of grass, I swear) there was a jolly pilgrimage / carnival attitude in the crowd. I got there in time to see a little bit of Neil Gaiman speaking (the part where he said the book he had the most fun writing was Good Omens got a nice rousing cheer) and then I ran off to the sales tent to buy a copy of The Graveyard Book. They only had 500 and they sold out in about ten minutes so I'm glad I got mine.

I read it all in line (took me just under two hours) while waiting for the signing. I was in the middle of line five (of seven) which probably made me somewhere around #900. My copy of Good Omens now has both authors' signatures though, so that's all right. Really, it wasn't bad except for the hour where it was thunderstorms and heavy rain. That kinda was bad.

2.) Yes, the Renaissance Faire was cool. Except for the part where it was thunderstorms and heavy rain (for the second day in a row). Authentic medieval mud. Ankle deep. Er, in related news, I think it's about time for me to replace my loyal but battered forest green Chucks. I didn't have garb to wear what with that whole "I've lost 50 pounds since I bought my bodice" thing but given how much mud I was slogging through, in all honesty, I was happier to be wearing jeans and sneakers.

The half-assed Archery booth reinforced my desire to get back into it. (There must be an affordable archery club around here somewhere). And the three bruises on my left arm (out of 18 shots... not too bad, considering) reminded me that I need to shoot with long (tight) sleeves or with an armguard.

3.) October is lovely. It's sunny, breezy, and 55-60 degrees when I step out of the front door at 7:30 in the morning. Unfortunately, it's also barely after sunrise. Boo.

4.) There is a Very Cool Project afoot at work, and I have managed to get myself involved in it. I managed this by being totally ballsy in a room full of executives. Here's the thing, though: I'm not afraid of executives. I really don't give a damn about their titles or status, in any meaningful way. Being ballsy means maybe they think I don't know my place, that I'm "just" an assistant, that I'm laughable, and that in two years I'll choose to advance my career by looking elsewhere. Being timid means that I never get to advance my career, and pass up a rare opportunity at a dream project. Timidity means that I'll ALWAYS be just an assistant. And I'm not having that. I know what I'm talking about and in this case I'm far more of an expert in the subject matter than the executives are (hint: when I said, "PS3" they glazed over and when I said "hardcore vs. casual debate" they went completely blank) so I'm damn well going to expound on something I'm qualified to.

Shame on me for ending that sentence with a preposition. But I really can't be arsed to rewrite it. *wanders off whistling*

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I think I should pick up wine on the way home. [26 September 2008|01:07pm]
This morning I e-mailed my dad to say, "I know that since I was born, someone tried to assassinate Reagan, the Berlin Wall came down, Clinton was impeached for philandering, and September 11th happened, but I still think this has been the weirdest political week of my entire life."

His response was along the lines of, "I've seen a hell of a lot more than that (b. 1945), and I agree."

[info]macnbc is home sick from work today, which means he will be home tonight when whatever-actually-happens comes onto the teevee. I hope he does not mind me yelling back at it, because I am bound to. Wine (see subject line) may either exacerbate or mitigate this effect. Let's find out!

In other news, it's Friday. Thank goodness. Some weeks are just agonizing.

Wearing: JEANS. I love working in media. Always casual. Also wearing light blue turtleneck sweater that is, unfortunately, the same shade as my jeans, and forest green Chucks. Mmmmmcomfy.

Reading: Not a damn thing. I haven't cracked a book open since August and this is really weird for me. I've been playing The World Ends With You on my commute, though, and that's the bulk of my reading time. But! Next week I plan to be reading The Graveyard Book, which I will be buying three days before its release date, at...

Planning: The National Book Festival. I am treating myself to this event tomorrow even if the weather does suck. Then afterwards I need to head to the mall, sadly enough. I realized this morning that in the purge of moving and weightloss, I have completely removed all long-sleeved t-shirts and all button-down shirts from my wardrobe, because they were all 8+ years old and/or didn't fit right. Now that it's fall, this is Not Good.

Then on Sunday we're off to the Maryland Rennaisance Festival, which is supposed to be an excellent Ren Faire. It's Pirate Weekend!! Arrrrr.

Right now, though, I really want chocolate. And I haven't got any. Damn.
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[18 September 2008|10:28am]
If ever one needed evidence that I am weird, here is my current cannot-stop-listening playlist on my iPod:

1.) "Calling," The World Ends With You soundtrack
2.) "Deja Vu," TWEWY soundtrack again
3.) "Viva La Vida," Coldplay
4.) "All Along the Watchtower," Bob Dylan*
5.) "Baba Yetu," Civilization IV soundtrack

TWEWY has crawled into my brain. I beat the main portion of the game a couple of days ago, but it is an evil game for completeists like me, because after you finish you basically get sent to go back and collect something (or four somethings) from every single chapter in the game. And there is always another pin to get, another item to identify, another thing to unlock... *grabbyhands*

Also if I ever remember this weekend, since tomorrow's payday, I'll be treating myself to the Dr. Horrible soundtrack. How many genres and eras and types of music does that make, added on?



*I really want the version from BSG, too. Must remember to look into that. Good boyfriend sends me music. :)
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Yes, politics again. [17 September 2008|09:48am]
The rhetoric kind of says it all.

When John McCain talks in the "casual" morning "news" show setting, he says, "I know how to fix it." Then he says, "Americans... they care..."

Hmm.

This is the party of "identity?" The one that makes the "us/them" dynamic the one of "McCain/Everyone Else?"

At least Obama has the sense to use first person rhetoric. "We."
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We're not unreasonable... no-one's gonna eat your eyes... [12 September 2008|06:38pm]
I am longing for a zombie attack.

Specifically, I want the zombie of Edward R. Murrow to arise and lay the fucking smack-down.
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Sunday, Sun-day, SUNDAY! [07 September 2008|07:05pm]
Today has been a Murphy day.

The plan had been: (1) wake up. (2) showers and coffee. (3) go into DC to have lunch, go to the Holocaust Museum, and see Operation Spy. (4) dinner.

Here is how today went:

1.) Wake up after crappy night's sleep. Attempt more sleep with pillow over head while Matthew is showering. Fail.

2.) Get e-mail from GameStop that my billing address is incorrect and if I don't call it, they'll cancel my Spore pre-order. Call GameStop. Argue with the CSR on the phone that, "YES, I know the address DOES match the one my bank has on file, because I have my GameStop order and my BANK ACCOUNT open in two separate browser tabs RIGHT NOW while I am on the phone with you, and they are the SAME ADDRESS, and no I am not going to 'call my bank' to verify and then call you back, because you did this with my boyriend's credit card last month, too, and we have two separate banks and use these cards just fine at every other website in the world except yours. Fix it."

3.) After showering, discover that despite losing more weight, one of the new shirts I just bought this summer is too small and looks like hell. Also, all of my bras are now so oversized that going out in public is becoming a dubious proposition. Have tearful breakdown.

4.) Traipse out to my car to drive to the Metro. Discover that the Camry has the flattest flat tire since the first rubber hit the road a hundred years ago. Upon arrival of AAA man (which actually only took about 15 minutes, and he was done changing the tire in about 5) we find that yesterday I somehow picked up a nail. Wow. (Next month: tapping into the savings account for new rear tires...)

5.) Drive to the Metro in Matt's car. This part good: make it to the museum. Lunch in the cafe good. Museum not "good," really, because Holocaust is about as opposite of good as it is in any way possible to be, but museum goes well.

6.) BOOK IT a mile through Washington to the Spy Museum in about ten minutes, because we planned our timing a little poorly (well, I wouldn't call the flat tire "planning") and also took a less-than-intelligent route from point A to point B. Come RUNNING in at 3:59 for our 4:00 tickets.

7.) Our group for Operation Spy was the two of us plus two late 20s / early 30s women. It started out really well, and was going fine, was great, until suddenly in the last room. Halfway through THE climactic scene, one of the two other girls says abruptly, "I would like to exit now. Can I go through that door?"

She refused to be dissuaded, even though we were 5 minutes from being done with the whole program. When the guide asked her, "All right, but may I ask why?" she very pointedly glared at Matt and responded...

"I don't like the people I've been playing with."

As she walked out of the door, her friend's jaw, the guide's jaw, my jaw, and Matt's jaw all went as far towards the floor as is humanly possible. I raised my eyebrows so hard I think I sprained my forehead. A second later she popped her head back in and said to her friend, "I had ASSUMED you were coming with me?" The other girl just sort of started, "oh!," grabbed her purse and ran out.

It was the biggest WTF moment I have personally seen in... months? Years?

8.) After that we went to Safeway and I almost bought a 1/3 empty bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade but then I noticed in time and swapped it and now I have a full one. Well, until I go to the fridge and drink it, anyway.

9.) Dinner's here. I am having a Frito Chili Pie and I don't really care if it makes me fat.

10.) The End.
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Politics, populism, and pasta, oh my! [05 September 2008|01:13pm]
There isn't actually any spaghetti in this entry; I just like alliteration a whole lot.

Somehow we -- on the national scale -- have gotten caught up in a national narrative that makes no sense. Our reigning story is about small-town, middle-of-the-country America. The narrative is about an America with beer and hunting and farms and Manifest Destiny.

That's cool. That's definitely part of America, and given that we all need to eat, I'm going to say that the farming and agricultural areas of America are really really important.

They are also lowest in population. The density in this country is higher on the coastlines, from Seattle to San Diego and from Boston all the way down, around, and in to Texas on the Gulf. [edit] (Now with cool-looking census information!) [/edit]

So why don't those other stories matter, anymore?

It is hard to take the story of a poor single mother, scraping by as best she can in Harlem, and call it fundamentally different than the story of a poor single mother, scraping by as best she can in rural Nebraska. Yet these stories are treated and perceived as fundamentally different, in the modern narrative. (Of course, there's also the fact that in one of those stories, there is likely to be brown skin and/or a non-English language spoken at home; we won't go down that road just now.) In the story, most particularly told right now by the Republican Party, of Us and Other, the "other" is in fact the majority of the population -- being marginalized out of the story.

Pretty cool how a founding myth works, huh?

I cannot say in words how much I hate this concept that higher education is not to be a goal, or that we should denounce intellectualism. We most certainly should denounce needless snobbery (anyone out there remember when I had some serious fights with my department chair in grad school, when he told me how I should change my tastes and my friends because they weren't "elite enough?"). But small thinking just isn't getting us anywhere. Strong, positive education really is the key to fixing almost every other problem we have, slowly and over time.

I'm sort of getting off track with where I meant to go, but mostly the gist is: I'm sad. This column and this blog post both articulate the point that's so horrible: we seem, culturally, to have lost the narrative of good schooling and hard work and replaced it with something more like this.

And when you get right down to it? I do not want my doctors, my air traffic controllers, or my United States presidents (or for that matter, my senators) to be "average Americans." I want them to be fucking brilliant. I want them to be so far ahead of me intellectually that they can just pull shit out of the air, like Stephen Hawking, and I'll know they did it right. I do not want them to be like me! I make mistakes every day. I forget a project, bunge a deadline, switch an e-mail, break a heel -- whatever. We all do. Some days are great, some are terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days, and most fall in between for those of us who live and work in the world of Average.

And I'm pretty damn smart, if I do say so myself, and have sheets of paper with fancy seals proving how educated I am.

I don't want the leader of my country to be someone who's going to keep hitting snooze until finally the cat sits on his face. I don't want the leader of my country to be someone who thinks "Vermont" is a dirty word. I don't want the leader of my country to be someone who can't think beyond the boundaries of his own house, his own church, or his own state of origin. I definitely don't want him to be someone who attended his 8:00 a.m. graduate school classes but fell asleep in the back (guilty as charged) or who would write a Master's thesis in 56 hours, right before the deadline, instead of doing it properly (er, me again).

There are so many good reasons why 300 million of us aren't running for President. So why do so many of us want one of "us" to win?
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Politics: stabby stab stab [04 September 2008|10:21am]
[ mood | grumpy ]

The subject line accurately reflects the contents. You have been warned.

I really, really dislike Sarah Palin. I cannot find a single thing about her, her policies, or her background to endear her to me even a little bit. I would like to throw rotten vegetables at her and then make her work with the poor for the rest of her life, or at least until she learns something. People like her should be kept as far away from federal lawmaking as is humanly possible (and apparently Alaska isn't even far enough).

And yet, I find myself, in a sense, defending her more every day.

The media coverage surrounding her is FOUL and VILE. And I'm not even talking about the Trig parentage rumors or the mess that her poor daughter's life has just become on a national stage. ABCNews.com and CNN.com (I haven't been able to muster the intestinal fortitude to look at others) have been running multiple stories and articles, for days, asking: "Does running for office, while having a special needs baby, make her a bad mother?"

How many male politicians have run for and/or attained office while their wives were primary caregivers for children under the age of 1? And how often has the mainstream ever said, "Does running for office make him a bad father?"

That is the tip of the horribly sexist and anti-woman iceberg that has become this political maelstrom, and it's horrifying. I have hit the point where there's such a high level of saturation that I can't even read the commentators that I like without feeling the urge to put my fist through my monitor. Sarah Palin is even worse for women in politics than Leela was for women in Blernsball pitching. And the ability to end this post with a geeky Futurama reference is about the only thing keeping me from yelling obscenities right here in the office.

Back to Jezebel to rage into the ether with like-minded people...

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It's not just me! [30 August 2008|07:47pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

I am so glad that I am not the only person on earth who thought this.

When McCain picked Palin, one of my very early comments was, "Well, I suppose it's possible that she could turn out against all odds to be good at it, like Roslin..." So I suppose it's also possible that we'll all be annihilated in a robot vendetta. Neat.

1 pirate | sail away?

Sigh. [29 August 2008|11:35am]
Dear Executives,

There is a reason all of you have assistants. And there is a reason that I, as an assistant, work with the assistants. We are skilled in the game of Scheduling Tetris (start humming the theme now...) and it is collectively our job to make these meetings happen.

When all of you talk amongst yourselves and make plans, bypassing the assistants, that is your prerogative. You are executives; whether or not I like it, you have a certain level of reality-bending power. (The Adam Savage rule really does apply here: "I reject your reality, and substitute my own!")

HOWEVER. If five of you bypass the assistants, do NOT expect the assistants to be able to answer your questions about your meeting! Today has been one huge junior high game of Telephone, and I am sooooooo sick of it. The next one of you to ask me a dumb question about something someone else may or may not have said is going to be told, "purple monkey dishwasher!" and left to sort it out on your own.

No love, and desperately needing this three-day weekend,

Your Humble Departmental Assistant
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Sigh. [27 August 2008|09:55am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I am having a very stressful week. There's too much to do and not enough time in which to do it. Also, I seem to be getting sick.

It's just a Murphy week: anything that can go wrong, does. I've gone out of my way to make things work right and then they still don't. This morning I got about 300 yards away from the apartment before I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. I went back, put on deodorant, and promptly sat on the bed and burst into tears for a minute. Just that kind of a week.

Everything at work is going to hell. Not in any permanent way, but in a very real "everyone has too many deadlines and everyone's personal lives are going FUBAR all at once besides" way. I'm probably going to blow a deadline that I could have made if I'd done less fucking off back in early July. And I have had an off-and-on slow-motion migraine headache since last Thursday. (Although that, at least, has greatly reduced in intensity and prominence since then. I was down to just 20 minutes of unpleasantness this morning.)

I really kind of just want to curl up under the covers and tell the world to get bent until 2 September. But it doesn't work that way.

3 pirates | sail away?

[23 August 2008|02:45pm]
[ mood | political coverage = stabby ]

"Obama Biden" is an anagram of "nabob media."

I think that says everything useful about politics for me.

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[22 August 2008|05:56pm]
Dear Local News Anchor,

Okay. I have studied Mandarin; I know how hard it is for a native English-speaker to wrap his language around those unfamiliar sounds. I don't expect you to get it perfectly.

However, I had to stop and come back into the living room and look at the screen to figure out what you meant by "hay kay chenn." You meant Olympic gymnast He Kexin. I mean... dude. Can't you at least TRY next time?

I'm adding this to the "now you know why the rest of the world hates us" file.

Facepalming all the way,

Me
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[13 August 2008|03:53pm]
Can I just have a do-over on this whole week, please?

Nothing has been Epic Fail, but everything has been ever-so-slightly wrong. Wrong at work, wrong on the Metro, wrong at home, wrong in workplace relationships, wrong online, wrong in interpersonal relationships... I just kind of want a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a week-long nap. Screw it all, I'll start over next Monday.

*sigh*
4 pirates | sail away?

Not fail at all [03 August 2008|11:13am]
Man, I wish the county fair / carnival were this weekend instead of next. Today is perfect. Seriously: 80 degrees, sunny, breezy, not humid (in Virginia!), and not a single cloud in the sky. You could not ask for a better summer day, and especially not in August!

Maybe we'll get to give the A/C a day off.
sail away?

More fail [01 August 2008|11:32am]
Apparently I am the victim of a British spammer, because this deluge of e-mails are all purporting to have to do with Sainsbury's and Tesco's.

They don't have those in Virginia. (Although I remember being amused by the signs that said "hair colourant." It's "dye" over here.)
2 pirates | sail away?

Fail. [01 August 2008|09:23am]
Sigh.

Apparently the people in the office have decided that I am the personal assistant to whoever they don't know anything about. I came back to find my desk COVERED in mail and folders for three people... two of whom I don't work with.

This work-week is only Friday for me, and it STILL can't be over fast enough.
1 pirate | sail away?

Well, I'm back. [31 July 2008|08:05pm]
Back from North Carolina. While it wasn't exactly relaxing (have I ever mentioned that he's the oldest of 17 cousins? And his father just remarried, to a woman with two girls?), it was definitely a good time. My baking is loved by one and all. And most of those bajillion cousins are really good kids.

I got to skip=400 and promptly gave up. Please guide me to anything important I missed!
1 pirate | sail away?

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