Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in 1ntrovert's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, June 19th, 2008
2:36 pm	Outbursts 2 "He looks like a chipmunk wearing underwear two sizes too small..." (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
11:21 am	Wishing Sight to the Blind I found myself wishing that Jose Feliciano would recover his eyesight. Not so that he could live a normal life, but so he could see how ridiculous he looks when he performs. How hot exactly is it in hell? (Comment on this)
Monday, June 16th, 2008
5:42 pm	"But he looks like the love child of a goat and a long bean!" And other things you shouldn't say out loud. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 15th, 2008
7:59 am	Wisdom I would impart to my children. a) Nice guys usually finish last b) Always learn CPR Random? I think not. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008
5:59 pm	Roasted Backside Black car, black trim, black leather seats. Not a good idea in summer... (Comment on this)
Monday, May 12th, 2008
10:15 pm	Ballet Rocks At first, I thought I had stumbled upon a sure fire way to make money - stage a ballet. I had paid 41 euro to watch a ballet at the Bastille in Paris and all I could think of during the first 'part' was trying to estimate the revenues - 800 people paying an average of 30 euros each... 24,000 euros a night. The costs seemed small, apart from the rental of the venue. There was not a single prop, just three dancers prancing around in one-piece swimsuits, a conductor and a small orchestra. And I was paying their rent. What exactly is the point of ballet - to show how flexible you are? Sure, some of the stuff is pretty impressive and I did catch myself wondering how many times I can spin around when I jump up before I land. And why do the females have to totter about painfully on tiptoes while the men just prance around imitating what seems to be the mating ritual of the Greater Madagascan Pelican. However after about 20 minutes, more and more ballerinas started appearing on stage until it started to look like the swimsuit competition of the Miss Universe pageant. The 10 men however (ballerinos?) all seemed to be homosexual, with a 24-inch waist and tights that displayed the topography of Genitaland for all to see whether they are circumcised or not. Two hours in, and I was losing the will to live. The random Vietnamese lady playing the cymbal who had three clashes to make in the whole performance had long fallen asleep and I just couldn't help wondering why ballerinas' movements always have to start in one direction before going in the intended direction in a big flourish. If they cut that out, the damn performance could be 10% shorter. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 29th, 2008
4:31 pm	Caption Competition For my 2 remaining readers...Sure can win consolation prize... (Comment on this)
Friday, March 28th, 2008
8:19 pm	Low Rider Sometimes I wish my car weren't so low... (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
6:52 pm	When I was in Singapore last month, I had my first economy rice in a long time. And now I know why it's called economy rice. It follows the first law of economics. Quantity has gone down and Price has gone up... (Comment on this)
Monday, March 3rd, 2008
6:51 pm	Flurry Sensing the impending, Facebook-induced, death of Livejournal, I am posting flurriedly (in a flurry of posts) as only a Singaporean trying to save his favourite eating spot from zhup lup-dom knows how... (Comment on this)
6:01 pm	Stupid irony You know, sometimes I think I'm the smartest person in Dubai. But the irony is, because I AM in Dubai, I must be the stupidest person on earth. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 1st, 2008
9:11 pm	Mas Selamat... ...sounds like Masalaama = 'bye bye' in Arabic... What wonderful irony. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
8:34 pm	Upsizing You know it's time to get a new TV when the personal screen in the first class cabin is bigger than your living room TV. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 24th, 2008
8:16 pm	Trolley Parade Stepping off the plane from the chaos of the Middle East, it's easy to spot how organised Singapore is... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 4th, 2008
10:17 pm	I seem to be asked "You're back soon, right?" or "Which day are you going back?" quite a bit these past days. It's as though it's expected of one to go back home to celebrate Chinese New Year. Yes, I am Chinese. Yes, it's the new lunar year and yes, the government gives you twice the duration of public holidays as compared to January 1st. But for me, I don't get it. There's nothing tangible as you cross midnight - no change in the month let alone the year. The older generation would say - we got to buy new clothes and it was the only time we were allowed to have soft drinks. Tell that to the obese primary school kid whose only form of exercise is making more trips to the buffet table while hoping his iPod would break so that he could have an excuse to buy a new one. For me, CNY is a bit mechanical, you go out and buy a big crate of mandarins. The married ones go to the bank to get fresh dollar bills while the non-married ones make sure their clothes have sufficient pockets. For me, Christmas still has it's allure. I like that you have to try to think of a suitable present for the people you want to get something for. There's no law which dictates that you have to give me an ang pow purely because of my age and my marital status - containing even numbered amounts. Except 4. Or maybe that's the charm - the rituals, the superstitions. But I guess it's only meaningful if you understand it. Me? I don't even know what gong xi fa cai really means (although I know what hong bao na lai means). So there you go - gong xi fa cai. Bah Hambug. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 13th, 2008
2:25 pm	Bummer As this is the desert, it would seem silly to carry an umbrella with me. Today, unfortunately, the heavens opened and I had a 7-minute walk back to my car in the rain and I was quite soaked. Rain in this country is not handled well - roads have no drainage, people have no idea how to increase their following distance or turn on their lights and traffic lights short circuit. To make things worse, a certain George W Bush is in town and they're closing major roads without warning which means my journey back to a hot shower is taking about 10 times longer than usual. So, I'm ashamed to say, I turned on the heated seats in my car for the first time (don't laugh, my car has heated seats) and I must admit, when you're soaking wet, sitting in traffic and not being able to see out cuz your windows keep misting up, the warm gentle roasting of one's posterior is a rather pleasant experience. But what happened next was even more of a pleasant surprise - I received the following SMS. Now, I think the man's an idiot, looks like a monkey on experimental drugs, and his country's foreign policy is as well thought through as Dubai's decision to implement congestion charging at 4am. But if the big guy wants to visit Dubai and close all the roads, hell, he's more than welcome to come as often as he likes! And I think it's hilarious to watch the news to see George W stepping out of Air Force One with his umbrella to shelter his obviously precious head from the heavy rain in the desert... It had to be him. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 12th, 2008
10:53 pm	I trawled the third largest shopping mall in the world today and discovered that not a single shop in there sold shoelaces. Shops with names like Shoe Mart and Shoe City. Although one shop assistant was rather sweet and he offered to give me a pair of spare laces he had in the store room, but they were the wrong colour and too thick to fit through the eyes. Help... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 11th, 2008
1:27 am	Rear Veil Mirror When I look into the rear view mirror of my car, it's what I imagine the view from behind a veil would be like... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 9th, 2008
3:44 pm	A cold day in hell... It's 9 degrees. In Dubai. This is proof that global warming is nonsense. After all, we have the world's worst ecological footprint per capita... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 29th, 2007
12:06 am	At what age should you start telling your parents' friends to stop giving you ang pows (outside of CNY)? (Comment on this)