"Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash, and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever." - Baron Munchausen
"The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it." - Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." - "Hanlon's Razor" by Robert A. Heinlein (but variously attributed to many others before him)
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought." - Bashō
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
"Mentem sanam inspicere non debet qui monstrum non aspicet." - Me
"Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater
"I find your journal postings quite entertaining. You address social commentary with a scathing and analytical wit, seasoned with humour, good will, sometimes a little bizzaro, but you are brilliant." - yslisabeata
"Andrew is not his real name - he is actually a multi-tentacled creature of almost unfathomable horror from the 11th dimension. I call him... Breklor! He's bad news, I can tell you that - his evilness is the green tinge on the pimento loaf of life. And when you can't eat pimento loaf, what can you eat, especially when you're on a restrictive diet. Not Spam, that's for sure - or Spork, or Spicken, or even Spurky! And that's just wrong!!!" - Don DeBrandt
Why are you reading this? I hope I amuse you, entertain you, or at least distract you from your boredom. Drop me a comment or two if you like this journal.
Who am I? I'm an occasionally-professional artistic geek who bakes a mean chocolate chip cookie. You can find me at local SCA and pagan events and Public Dreams festivals, or around the gaming table. I'm co-parent to a ten-year-old incarnation of Chaos, in a happy little aerie not far from Commercial Drive, which is hippie headquarters in Vancouver.
My superhero identity is D'Arclyte, Master of Shadows... black-robed wizard, wielder of shadow and illusion. (No, that's not my Craft name.)
I'm also known as Baby Cthulhu for the 7-foot-tall green-and-purple plush costume I often wear at SF conventions. (No, I'm not a furry... though a woman did once snuggle up to Baby Cthulhu and purr, "Can I do you in the monster suit?" Recently we took him to a local fetish night, as you can see above...)
In the SCA, I am Guillermo Portelli... bard, rake, writer of travelogues, armchair tactician, and erstwhile den mother to Ad Nauseam, the regrettably-deceased mediaeval and Renaissance dance music consortium of the Barony of Lions Gate and the Shire of Eisenmarche.
I am also Ferran al'Shihab abdul'Salam when I am performing Middle Eastern percussion.
Since Yule 2002, I have been circling with a Unitarian Universalist Pagan group at the local Unitarian Church. They're a wonderful, loving group. We're not exactly a coven, but we have some of the good stuff that people want out of covens - particularly mutual support and learning. We've spawned a Paganism 101 class and a discussion/working group. I have even done some "missionary work", travelling to Vancouver Island to do a one-day seminar, and am hoping to do more.
Most recently, I've taken up firespinning, the art of whirling burning stuff around on strings. Let's face it... everything's kewler when it's on fire. I haven't lit up yet because I am a lazy sod (and because I keep hitting myself), but someday...
When I grow up, I want to be a game designer; these days I pay the bills by working for the Gubmint. Hey, it's a living.
User Number: 777864
Number of Posts: Countless
Andrew is a smallish Elder Being disguised as a largish human. Not squamous, but gibbous - but not related to the Brothers Gibb, and not a gibbon - he strives for a kind of "teddy bear with retractable claws" image.
Special Skills:Digital photomanipulation, drumming, singing, game mastering & game design, office skills, office supply arts'n'crafts, respectable kitchen abilities.
Weapons:Shortsword (1d6), athame (potentially 1d3 of spiritual damage, but never used to attack physically), a variety of improvised weapons and 'equalizers' (1d2-1d6); various Nerf and boffer weapons (no damage, but may stun for 1 round); a decent shot with a .22 rifle (but does not own one).
Superpowers:Instant filking power: Able to write a filk on any subject to any tune in remarkably short time. Bullshit power: Able to concoct a believable tale of bullshit connecting any two to five random facts.