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Can I take a picture of myself where I don't look like a serial killer

probably. try wearing a mask
20(32.8%)
it is unlikely. you are what you eat
41(67.2%)

Can I paint a room without getting paint on my face?

probably. try wearing a mask
25(41.0%)
it is unlikely. stop eating paint.
36(59.0%)

in 30+ days of growing that is the best I could do for a mustache. Is that pathetic

probably. try wearing one of those fake ones that comes with a better nose and fake glasses
23(38.3%)
it is unlikely to reach the level of pathetic. more like potential serial killer stache
37(61.7%)

should I shave it off

probably. if you want hair on your face go back to the 80s and get a chick to sit on it.
42(70.0%)
it is unlikely anybody has noticed it is there so why bother.
18(30.0%)

will posting my face here help me score with that hot chick with the nice rack in the next post down?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA no
30(50.0%)
try a mask and a corset
30(50.0%)