Kiki Jones (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} moonbeam_thief) wrote in ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} ygo_badfic,@ 2005-05-28 22:57:00 |
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That's Bakura For You!
Story Title: My love, we'll be together soon
Author Name: HarpieLady456
Reason for Complaint: Ridiculously implausible pairing, not being able to tell the difference between verbs in the present tense and verbs in the past tense, and somehow making the entire story revolve around Mokuba's purchase of a white mocha.
I hope this hasn't been posted before; it's pretty old, but it's still a gem. They get better with age, you know. XD
^^Mokuba's POV^^
He'll never notice me. I'm just a shadow behind my big brother. I love Seto, of course, but I wish, just once Bakura would notice me. I wish he would look past Seto and into his shadow, where he would see me. I stare longingly into his beautiful chocolate eyes and I melt. He's so gorgeous; I really have fallen for him. At least he's not dating anyone. But what makes me even think I have a chance with him?!
I think this as I walk down the almost deserted street. It's the coldest day in the year so far, and anyone in his or her right mind wouldn't be caught dead outside. When I'm thinking of that beautiful white hair with those eyes that are to die for, I'm not in my right mind. I put my hands in the pocket of my winter coat and trudge on. I took my gaze away from the pavement to look at the person calling my name.
"Hey Mokuba." Ryou says in his phony British accent.
Ouch, is it just me, or was that an uncalled for attack on Ryou's accent? Wow, "phony Brisith accent." That burns, it really does.
Ryou then asks Mokuba if he's seen Yami Bakura, to which Mokuba says he hasn't.
He walked past me and disappeared down an alley. I walked on, once again fixing my gaze upon the ground. I suddenly smelled the sweet scent of coffee and look up.
Sadly, I do not smell the sweet scent of verb tense agreement here.
About a block away was a café. I could use a white mocha right about now.
I could use a drink myself after a fic like this.
I headed for the café, remembering it was the place where Yugi and his friends usually hang out at. I walked through the door hoping that they weren't there.
Apparently, the gods hate me.
Actually, the gods cry for you and your fic, because it is beyond even their help.
There, sitting at a fairly large table were Yugi, Yami, Joey, Serenity, Tea, and Tristan. I try to ignore them as I walk up to the counter. I quickly order a tall white mocha, handing the person a ten as I awaited my drink.
I smell the sweet scent of more stellar verb tense agreement here.
I silently prayed they wouldn't notice me, but two things gave me away. A) The gods hate me B) I have exceptionally long hair.
And C), we'd be losing about three priceless lines of dramatic plot-essential dialogue if Mokuba was—gasp!—allowed to buy his white mocha unhampered.
"Howya doin' Moku?" You could hear Joey's fake New York accent from a mile away. It was that loud and annoying.
Oh, forgive me. I didn't understand before. The previous reference to a "phony accent" was not a jab at Ryou, but in fact the author doing us all a great service. Yes, folks, the author has taken it upon herself to pinpoint any and all unauthentic accents in the YGO dub. Thank you, author! I lived a life of strife and uncertainty before you came along. I sat up for many a long night, wondering to myself, "Is everything but a lie? …Are the accents really real?" Now, I can finally sleep at night.
Smalltalk ensues. Mokuba asks if any of them have seen Yami Bakura.
"I haven't seen him. Good riddance if you ask me." The pharaoh's voice piped up.
My fist clenched around my coffee. NOBODY talks about Bakura that way. "No one asked you." I said through clenched teeth. With that I left the dazed teens and walked out of the café.
With such a cutting, sharp, creative comeback as, "No one asked you," who wouldn't be "dazed"?
I hated Yami. He makes fun of Bakura, and he beat my big brother. I'll get him, I will.
Does the "I'll get him, I will" strike anyone else as slightly Gollum-esque? "I'll get him, my preciousss, I'll get him, yesss I will, precioussss…." God help us, the author is channeling the spirit of J.R.R. Tolkien!
"You're thoughts are more on me then they are Seto. How interesting."
I turned around to look Bakura right in the eye. He had on his sinister smile that was to die for.
This fic is to die for. Really. Look at me, I'm dying.
"Bakura! Why'd ya scare me?" I quickly replied.
He smirked and leaned against a light pole with his arms crossed. He could be a model, really. "You think a lot about me. Why?"
Newsflash: Bakura could be a model. No, really. Really! Mokuba said it, so it must be true!
"B-b-because I ran into Ryou, he was looking for you. You shouldn't run off." Then I quickly added, "And stop reading my thoughts."
"I can't read thoughts fully, that's why I was asking you why you thought about me. I can read emotions, and whom the emotions are about, but not the actual thoughts."
How eerily convenient. I would almost believe that it was entirely made up, if not for the fact that I know a talented author such as this one would never resort to such methods.
Mokuba asks Bakura why he (Bakura) was looking for Mokuba.
Instead of an answer, he walked right up to me and took me in his arms. He looked into my eyes for a split second, then lowered his head so his lips were touching mine. Yami Bakura gave me my first kiss. It was fabulous. My lips parted so his tongue could gain access. I think I was falling for him all over again. I moaned in delight as his tongue explored my mouth. This was a dream it /had/ to be a dream. It couldn't be, you don't get lack of oxygen in a dream. I wanted more, I craved for more Bakura, but I couldn't hold my breath any longer. Are lips broke and we both gasped for oxygen. His arms were still wrapped around me. I laid my head on his chest as my breath returned to normal.
This is, undoubtedly, the best description of kissing that I've ever read. I'm simply overwhelmed with emotion. I mean, "My lips parted so his tongue could gain access." Genius. Pure genius. Somebody give this girl a Pulitzer. And "you don't get lack of oxygen in a dream." Brilliance! Sheer brilliance! And I especially love the "are" in "Are lips broke." *wiping tearsof mirth from eyes*
(A/N I don't know what happened to his coffee.)
It's the magical vanishing white mocha!!!111!11 Coming to a Starbucks near you.
"Wow," I stated. It was all I could say.
Took the words outta my mouth.
Kaiba shows up, and yells at Mokuba for kissing Bakura. Bakura defends Mokuba.
"He loves me. And the feeling is mutual Kaiba. So just let us be." That's Bakura for you. If he likes you, he'll stand up for you until death.
That's Bakura for you. Great guy, that Bakura. The touchy-feely sentimental type. Yepp, that's Bakura for you.
"Seto, I want to stop being in your shadow. I want to be loved by someone other than my flesh and blood. Bakura makes me feel special and wanted. Don't take this away from me big brother." Bakura once again held me in his arms as I buried my face in his sweater.
Allow me to restate: That's Bakura for you. Always has ashoulder sweater to cry on when you need it.
"So this is why you snuck out? So you could meet your lover?" Seto asked, his rage growing.
"No Big Brother. I left because I needed to think. I saw Bakura and it-" I couldn't continue. I was close to tears, but I knew I had to finish. "It felt so /right/."
"I'm sorry, Big Brother! It just…it just sort of happened! I'll use a condom the next time around, I promise!"
Seto tells Mokuba they "need to talk." Mokuba protests, but the remarkably in-character Bakura kisses him on the forehead and tells him to go to talk to his brother.
"Don't worry, I doubt anyone will get in our way." He then kissed me deeply on the lips. As soon as we parted I knew that was my cue to leave. I turned away from him and walked toward Seto. Our limo pulled up and Seto stepped in, followed by me. As we drove off, I looked out the window to see Bakura standing in the same spot, smiling.
That's Bakura for you.
Don't worry love, we won't be apart for long.
…I can't help but wonder: did anyone ever find the Magical Vanishing White Mocha?
Story Title: My love, we'll be together soon
Author Name: HarpieLady456
Reason for Complaint: Ridiculously implausible pairing, not being able to tell the difference between verbs in the present tense and verbs in the past tense, and somehow making the entire story revolve around Mokuba's purchase of a white mocha.
I hope this hasn't been posted before; it's pretty old, but it's still a gem. They get better with age, you know. XD
^^Mokuba's POV^^
He'll never notice me. I'm just a shadow behind my big brother. I love Seto, of course, but I wish, just once Bakura would notice me. I wish he would look past Seto and into his shadow, where he would see me. I stare longingly into his beautiful chocolate eyes and I melt. He's so gorgeous; I really have fallen for him. At least he's not dating anyone. But what makes me even think I have a chance with him?!
I think this as I walk down the almost deserted street. It's the coldest day in the year so far, and anyone in his or her right mind wouldn't be caught dead outside. When I'm thinking of that beautiful white hair with those eyes that are to die for, I'm not in my right mind. I put my hands in the pocket of my winter coat and trudge on. I took my gaze away from the pavement to look at the person calling my name.
"Hey Mokuba." Ryou says in his phony British accent.
Ouch, is it just me, or was that an uncalled for attack on Ryou's accent? Wow, "phony Brisith accent." That burns, it really does.
Ryou then asks Mokuba if he's seen Yami Bakura, to which Mokuba says he hasn't.
He walked past me and disappeared down an alley. I walked on, once again fixing my gaze upon the ground. I suddenly smelled the sweet scent of coffee and look up.
Sadly, I do not smell the sweet scent of verb tense agreement here.
About a block away was a café. I could use a white mocha right about now.
I could use a drink myself after a fic like this.
I headed for the café, remembering it was the place where Yugi and his friends usually hang out at. I walked through the door hoping that they weren't there.
Apparently, the gods hate me.
Actually, the gods cry for you and your fic, because it is beyond even their help.
There, sitting at a fairly large table were Yugi, Yami, Joey, Serenity, Tea, and Tristan. I try to ignore them as I walk up to the counter. I quickly order a tall white mocha, handing the person a ten as I awaited my drink.
I smell the sweet scent of more stellar verb tense agreement here.
I silently prayed they wouldn't notice me, but two things gave me away. A) The gods hate me B) I have exceptionally long hair.
And C), we'd be losing about three priceless lines of dramatic plot-essential dialogue if Mokuba was—gasp!—allowed to buy his white mocha unhampered.
"Howya doin' Moku?" You could hear Joey's fake New York accent from a mile away. It was that loud and annoying.
Oh, forgive me. I didn't understand before. The previous reference to a "phony accent" was not a jab at Ryou, but in fact the author doing us all a great service. Yes, folks, the author has taken it upon herself to pinpoint any and all unauthentic accents in the YGO dub. Thank you, author! I lived a life of strife and uncertainty before you came along. I sat up for many a long night, wondering to myself, "Is everything but a lie? …Are the accents really real?" Now, I can finally sleep at night.
Smalltalk ensues. Mokuba asks if any of them have seen Yami Bakura.
"I haven't seen him. Good riddance if you ask me." The pharaoh's voice piped up.
My fist clenched around my coffee. NOBODY talks about Bakura that way. "No one asked you." I said through clenched teeth. With that I left the dazed teens and walked out of the café.
With such a cutting, sharp, creative comeback as, "No one asked you," who wouldn't be "dazed"?
I hated Yami. He makes fun of Bakura, and he beat my big brother. I'll get him, I will.
Does the "I'll get him, I will" strike anyone else as slightly Gollum-esque? "I'll get him, my preciousss, I'll get him, yesss I will, precioussss…." God help us, the author is channeling the spirit of J.R.R. Tolkien!
"You're thoughts are more on me then they are Seto. How interesting."
I turned around to look Bakura right in the eye. He had on his sinister smile that was to die for.
This fic is to die for. Really. Look at me, I'm dying.
"Bakura! Why'd ya scare me?" I quickly replied.
He smirked and leaned against a light pole with his arms crossed. He could be a model, really. "You think a lot about me. Why?"
Newsflash: Bakura could be a model. No, really. Really! Mokuba said it, so it must be true!
"B-b-because I ran into Ryou, he was looking for you. You shouldn't run off." Then I quickly added, "And stop reading my thoughts."
"I can't read thoughts fully, that's why I was asking you why you thought about me. I can read emotions, and whom the emotions are about, but not the actual thoughts."
How eerily convenient. I would almost believe that it was entirely made up, if not for the fact that I know a talented author such as this one would never resort to such methods.
Mokuba asks Bakura why he (Bakura) was looking for Mokuba.
Instead of an answer, he walked right up to me and took me in his arms. He looked into my eyes for a split second, then lowered his head so his lips were touching mine. Yami Bakura gave me my first kiss. It was fabulous. My lips parted so his tongue could gain access. I think I was falling for him all over again. I moaned in delight as his tongue explored my mouth. This was a dream it /had/ to be a dream. It couldn't be, you don't get lack of oxygen in a dream. I wanted more, I craved for more Bakura, but I couldn't hold my breath any longer. Are lips broke and we both gasped for oxygen. His arms were still wrapped around me. I laid my head on his chest as my breath returned to normal.
This is, undoubtedly, the best description of kissing that I've ever read. I'm simply overwhelmed with emotion. I mean, "My lips parted so his tongue could gain access." Genius. Pure genius. Somebody give this girl a Pulitzer. And "you don't get lack of oxygen in a dream." Brilliance! Sheer brilliance! And I especially love the "are" in "Are lips broke." *wiping tears
(A/N I don't know what happened to his coffee.)
It's the magical vanishing white mocha!!!111!11 Coming to a Starbucks near you.
"Wow," I stated. It was all I could say.
Took the words outta my mouth.
Kaiba shows up, and yells at Mokuba for kissing Bakura. Bakura defends Mokuba.
"He loves me. And the feeling is mutual Kaiba. So just let us be." That's Bakura for you. If he likes you, he'll stand up for you until death.
That's Bakura for you. Great guy, that Bakura. The touchy-feely sentimental type. Yepp, that's Bakura for you.
"Seto, I want to stop being in your shadow. I want to be loved by someone other than my flesh and blood. Bakura makes me feel special and wanted. Don't take this away from me big brother." Bakura once again held me in his arms as I buried my face in his sweater.
Allow me to restate: That's Bakura for you. Always has a
"So this is why you snuck out? So you could meet your lover?" Seto asked, his rage growing.
"No Big Brother. I left because I needed to think. I saw Bakura and it-" I couldn't continue. I was close to tears, but I knew I had to finish. "It felt so /right/."
"I'm sorry, Big Brother! It just…it just sort of happened! I'll use a condom the next time around, I promise!"
Seto tells Mokuba they "need to talk." Mokuba protests, but the remarkably in-character Bakura kisses him on the forehead and tells him to go to talk to his brother.
"Don't worry, I doubt anyone will get in our way." He then kissed me deeply on the lips. As soon as we parted I knew that was my cue to leave. I turned away from him and walked toward Seto. Our limo pulled up and Seto stepped in, followed by me. As we drove off, I looked out the window to see Bakura standing in the same spot, smiling.
That's Bakura for you.
Don't worry love, we won't be apart for long.
…I can't help but wonder: did anyone ever find the Magical Vanishing White Mocha?
