I might have deamt this las t night, then again I might not. Blast away, comments welcome. 

 It starts off so simply, go see City play at Turners Cross, a few beers after and home.  The mistake was deciding where everyone should meet, so not thinking of the repercussions it was decided to meet in the pub. 
So, one by one the troops arrive. Beers are called for, consumed with relish, and as the "  bird can't fly on one wing" rule is introduced more beer is ordered. By now the the comrades are in really good humor so any suggestion, however ridiculous is considered as inspired.  Attending the match is abandoned in favor of watching it on the TV in the back room. As the game goes their way, beer is consumed in a more rapid fashion. Chants are sung in unison with the fans that actually attended the game.  Relevance to soccer is soon forgotton and an accapela version of anything, anyone can remember the lyrics to is soon in progress.  As closing time approaches, the hero's are sitting in a single file along the floor, rowing an immaginary canoe while singing "Row da boat asshore". 
But the night is young, and no one is in the mood to return home.  After a  quick consultation and it is agreed to proceed to a night club. At the door, the bouncers are not impressed with the plea's of the celebrants to be allowed enter. one by one each of the late night establishments are crossed off the list which is as well. The clubs get seedier as the desperation increases. 
It's slowly understood that the night has come to an end so they depart for the Taxi rank.  By now, early morning light has appeared and a mini bus deploys each of the nights veterans at his home. 
One of them, due to  the fog of alcohol has a keen sense of innebreation logic.  This is a voice inside his head which dispenses advice. As he searches for his keys the voice suggests that he take a whizz  before he enters the house as this will reduce the chance of waking up Precious. So he empties his bladder through the hedge and onto the Newspaper and Milk of his neighbours.  After a long search though his pockets, he finds his keys in his other hand. Long testing of each key in the lock eventually lets him in.  
Inside in the hallway, he agrees with the voice that it certainly would be a good idea to get undressed downstairs so as not to wake up Precious.  He leaves the hallway looking like an explosion in a Menswear departmment.  Another voice has piped up from the self preservation part of his brain and urged him to act normally. Thinking this makes sense he proceeds to the downstairs bathroom to brush his teeth. All he can find is his toothbrush so he grabs a tube out of the medicine cabinet and is brushing his teeth when a fowl taste fills his mouth. He reads the tube and decides Vagisil is the  worst toothpaste ever. 
He creaks up the stairs and finger to lips enters the bedroom. On the night table is a glass of water and some Alka Seltzer. He drinks down the 'Cure' and realises that Precious must have left them out for him. A warm feeling of love for her fills him and he leans over to kiss her tenderly on the forehead. Before he reaches her she says "Don't even think of it" , so he pats her on the head, falls on the pillow and is asleep.