Your Distinctiveness Will Be Added To Our Own

Amanda Palmer performs "coin operated Boy" with Sign language interpreter!



(Courtesy of the Dresden Doll's MySpace)

Can a wench make even a graduation ceremony wenchy? I think so.

CONGRATULATIONS WENCH NUMERO UNO!

And

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!!!

That means - get the special women in your life some flowers, darnit!

THIS PICTURE is my current desktop background image. It makes it very hard to concentrate on my work, and though it has been there a mere few hours, I may haveto remove it. Everytime I close enough windows to see it, a shudder runs thorugh me.
Distraction, thy name is sexy.

I am hoping that the current CSI obsession passes so I can have my life back. :P

Back in the days of knights in armor,
there once lived a lovely charmer.
Swimming in the Rhine,
her figure was divine.

She had a yen for all the sailors,
fishermen and gobs and whalers.
She had a most immoral eye.
They called her Lorelei.

She created quite a stir
and I want to be like her.

I want to be like that gal on the river,
who sang her song to the ships passing by.
She had the goods and how she could deliver,
the Lorelei.

She used to love in a strange kind of fashion,
with lots of hey, ho-dee-ho, hi-dee-hi.
And I can guarantee I'm full of passion,
Like the Lorelei.

I'm treacherous, yeah-yeah,
Oh, I just can't hold myself in check.
I'm lecherous, yeah-yeah,
I want to bite my initials on a sailor's neck.

Each affair has a kick and a wallop,
for what they crave, I can always supply.
I want to be just like that other trollop,
the Lorelei.

Coin operated boy
Sitting on the shelf,
He is just a toy.
But I turn him on and he comes to life.
Automatic joy!
That is why I want a
Coin operated boy.

Made of plastic and elastic,
He is rugged and long-lasting.
Who could ever, ever ask for more?
Love without complications galore!
Many shapes and weights to choose from,
I will never leave my bedroom.
I will never cry at night again.
Wrap my arms around him and pretend...

Coin operated boy
All the other real ones that I destroy
Can not hold a candle to my new boy.
And I'll never let him go, and I'll never be alone.
Not with my
Coin operated boy.

This bridge was written to make you feel smittener
With my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
Can you extract me from my plastic fantasy?
I didn't think so, but I'm still convinceable.
Will you persist, even after I bet you
A billion dollars that I'll never love you?
Will you persist even after I kiss you
Goodbye for the last time?
Will you keep on trying to prove it?
I'm dying to lose it...
I want it, I want you.
I want a coin operated boy.

And if I had a star to wish on
For my life I can't imagine
Any flesh and blood could be his match.
I can even take him in the bath!

Coin operated boy
He may not be real experienced with girls
But I know that he feels like a boy should feel.
Isn't that the point?
That is why I want a...
Coin operated boy
With his pretty coin operated voice
Saying that he loves me, that he's thinking of me.
Straight and to the point.
That is why I want a
Coin operated boy.

...Miss Betty Page!

http://www.sequentialtart.com/archive/june02/bb_0402.shtml

See Our Breasts! See our Breasts! See our Breasts!

Just a reminder that if any of you want to corrupt and/or scar my brain while I'm still a minor, you have until saturday.

So megd is here. Huzzah! She is the Alabama wench. Really.

There was much wenching in the city, punctuated with moments of tourityness. We yarn shopped (don't ask), we sightseed, (sightsaw?) and we went to Tea & Sympathy - the BESTEST EVER!!!!! I thihnk she enjoyed it. There was much Potter, and much plotting to take sternel away from TWW and back to the dark side. *plotplotplotplotplot*

THere will be a new sandbox. Just you wait.

Why they make blueberry creme coffee is beyond me. It's not bad, but just...odd.

Oh, and never have megd play the Harry Poter board games. It's not that she knows all the answers. She knows all the bloody questions, too!!! We banned her from playing, and she still managed to win. I'm not sure how that happened. I was half comatose on the floor. BUt I was a Huffle. The world is right.

More wenchign to come. Made havoc in the city, much make havoc here.

If the other wenches ever get up, that is...

Wenchly dinner party. Tonight, Wang. Yes? People keep telling me they'll let me steal their flex points, and I want to see what this Jasmine thingey is like. If one of you buys me food, I'll pay back with sexual favors. ::winks at arke::

You all know you want it.

Given the nature of the wenches I believe we can all see the glory of men wearing kilts properly.

The Scotsman Song - by the Irish Rovers

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked the he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
He stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong a handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scotish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in to a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show

Ring-ding didle iidle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Around the bonnie star the scot's kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Lad, I don't know where ya been, but I see you've won first prize"

Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize

< lj-crax >

( As Craxed from a borg-wench uchidachi's journal )

< /lj-crax >

Flower off of the Exile in Guyville album by Liz Phair

There are two parts to this song. The first loops while the second counterpoints below it.

First Part
Every time I see your face
I get all wet between my legs
Every time you pass me by
I heave a sigh of pain

Second Part
Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
I'll take you home and make you like it

Everything you ever wanted
Everything you ever thought of is
Everything I'll do to you
I'll fuck you and your minions too

Your face reminds me of a flower
Kind of like you're underwater
Hair's too long and in your eyes
Your lips a perfect suck me size

You act like you're fourteen years old
Everything you say is so
Obnoxious, funny, true and mean
I want to be your blowjob queen

You're probably shy and introspective
That's not part of my objective
I just want your fresh young jimmy
Cramming slamming ramming in me

Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
I'll take you home and make you like it

Everything you ever wanted
Everything you ever thought of is
Everything I'll do to you
I'll fuck you 'til your dick is blue

Bring on the wenchy and/or Borgy song lyrics.

The purpose of this assignment is to amuse me. I am Borg Queen. Well, 1/3rd of Borg Queen, but as we are the same g/d person, I'm sure the collective Borg Queen would concure. As a Queen I we reserve the right to refer to myself ourselves in the third person, anyway. Amuse us.

We shall begin.

( Madonna - Hanky Panky )

My boyfriend likes to watch Ren and Stimpy, which is obviously the bane of my existence because I watch much more sophisticated cartoons like The Fairly Oddparents or The Grim Adventures. This usually results in me falling asleep in some area of his apartment, and last night was no exception. I awoke at noon, face plastered to the wall and still wearing a bra, perhaps the worst combination that I could imagine. We stumbled across campus to my highly inferior apartment with the sole intent of procrastinating until it was an hour before our first midterm and we were in danger of failing. We reached my apartment. I opened my bag for my keys and grabbed something sharp. "Aha!" said my underdeveloped brain, "Keys!" Before I could put the "keys" in the lock, a housemate opened the door and we were allowed access. A full two minutes later, I go to take off my coat and realize that I am covered in blood. I pan the area searching for the source. Blood does not generally appear on one's raincoat by itself. Slowly I spot the blood on the floor. Next I see the blood on my hand. Ah yes, the finger. Suddenly I remember that for no good reason I keep a razor blade in my bag. Right.

A brief panicked screaming episode ensued, scaring the shit out of my Taiwanese housemate, Gloria. I raced to the bathroom as my boyfriend and Gloria followed (not hard to do because of the blood trail). After a series of college first aid measures we were able to staunch the flow by placing many BandAids in the general vicinity of the cut. At this point I have still not been able to actually look at the cut without trying to throw up. I also keep on laughing because my addled mind keeps on informing me that taping a sanitary pad to my finger would be a really good idea. This is funny because it suggests that my finger has reached adulthood and will eventually wish to procreate with other fingers, perhaps not of the same moral beliefs or species (for instance, toes). I stumble about the house eating quinoa and crackers until I recover enough to finish my day.

After a rousing time at the movie theatre, in which a southern woman screamed "Nuggets!" twice at the cashier, I returned home only to have a baby raccoon run over my foot on the way to the music building. Then I discussed anti-Semitism with a friend, debated whether or not to do any work, and came back to my apartment to eat more crackers.

Le Fin.

Wenches, Guinness, chinese food, Bailey's, chocolate eclairs, RPing, excessive wenching, chatting with my rockin Cassie, more wenchly things = good awesome times.

Taking a nap at 4am, but sleeping until 8am and then having to get up to catch a train = I may actually kill a wench not so good.

Sleepiness being rectified by cool day in the city during which research was done at the 42nd St. library, noodles had in Union Sq., excessive wenching done EVERYWHERE, character created on the train for #2 = rockin.

The rest of the Borg Queen rocks my world. We missed you, uchidachi, and hope that you had fun with the parental units. Another time, chica.

To the gentlemen who ran away after hearing that we planned on staying in and wenching (you know who you are) - I laugh at you, on principle. Actually, we laugh at you, as a collective.

t3h bad pr0n!

Observe:
"His voice was filled with a certain tenderness she knew was reserved only for her, and only for this. Reassuringly, she said, "No, my love. Don't stop." He nodded again, planting a hot, wet kiss on her mouth before plunging into her sacred crown completely, his amplitude spreading her already stretched sex even more, making her cry out and convulse with the shock of his full size."

(emphasis mine)


AMPLITUDE!?!??!??! what in the fuck?

Serves me right for reading Quicksilver/Crystal *shudders* why do I torment myself? T3H HORRORZ!!!!!!!!!

Let the Assimilation Begin!