Minerva McGonagall ([info]tart_in_tartan) wrote in [info]storge_space,
@ 2004-12-27 22:20:00
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Current mood: thirsty
Current music:Menudo - Ay Amor

Imagine my surprise during tea this afternoon, when a rather large bird flew through my window to land on my teapot with a postcard tied to its claw. After a quite intense round of charades, it became apparent that the bird came to me because it could not get through the wall of steam surrounding the Headmaster's bathtub. Really, Albus, you have to get out sometime. Pruned is so very last season.

It took another three minutes to detatch the card from the bird, and five more to clean up the mess from my broken teapot, as they do not make good launch points for oversized tropical birds.

It seems our missing professors, both of whom I'd assumed they were hiding in their respective rooms, pining away romantically from the loss of the other, are missing no longer and congratulations are in order. Just after they apologise for running off without telling anyone, especially the person who should have been in the wedding in the first place, that is.

It's going to take more than a postcard for me to forgive you, boys.








Well. Perhaps not.


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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-28 04:45 am UTC (link)
But I don't want to leave my bath.

Incidentally, how many times I have I told the staff not to reveal my pet name for Hogwarts, much less post a scan of a postcard with the name on it? 5 points from Slytherin.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-28 05:24 am UTC (link)
What do you mean, Special Treatment of Gryffindors? Doesn't everyone else get treated the way we do? We get tons of points and congratulated for doing cool things and saving the day and we don't lose...

... Wait a second.

But if everyone were treated that way, that doesn't make sense, someone has to lose...


What's going on here?

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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-28 05:41 am UTC (link)
Hmmmmm? Why would Gryffindors get special treatment? You can see how it must be some sort of joke. Nothing to see here, move along Miss Weasley.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-28 07:03 am UTC (link)
Uh... right, Professor. Moving along to Harry.

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[info]potter_mouth
2004-12-28 05:58 am UTC (link)
AND LIKE HOW WE HAVE TO SAVE THE SCHOOL FROM VOLDEMORT (WHY YES, THANK YOU, I DID SAY HIS NAME. ISN'T THAT SWELL?) EVERY YEAR, AND HOW WE ALWAYS ALMOST DIE, AND HOW WE GET OSTRACISED FOR BEING BETTER THAN OTHER HOUSES, AND HOW PROFESSOR SNAPE EXISTS?

SOME SPECIAL TREATMENT.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-28 07:05 am UTC (link)
HARRY, I GET IT, YOU SAID HIS NAME, LOOK HARRY-- VOLDEMORT VOLDEMORT VOLDEMORT!

Special doesn't necessarily mean better!

I rather thought we saved, like, all sorts of stuff last year. I mean, I think we kind of saved the wizarding world? But don't forget to give Ravenclaw credit for that, too, because Luna is fantastic.

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[info]paparazzi_colin
2004-12-28 09:06 am UTC (link)
I think it should be called Hogwarts school of special treatment for Harry Potter and those who are part of Harry Potters Pseudo family!!!!
I mean I myself have lost tons of points this year and I never get congradulated over anything!!!

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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-28 10:07 am UTC (link)
Oh no, that would be far too hard to say.

Perhaps you should try being better, Mister Creevey. I have always found this tactic useful.

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[info]paparazzi_colin
2004-12-28 10:18 am UTC (link)
What's the point in trying when all you get is pain??? when I wanted sunshine I got rain, sir.

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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-28 10:27 am UTC (link)
I am beginning to understand your problem, Mister Creevey. Do stop by Professor Says's office for a psychiatric evaluation when you get back to Hogwarts.

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[info]paparazzi_colin
2004-12-28 10:29 am UTC (link)
Good idea sir, good idea.

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[info]terryclothrags
2004-12-28 12:12 pm UTC (link)
Sir, isn't Professor McGonagall the Gryffindor Head Of House? Why isn't Gryffindor losing points?

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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-28 12:14 pm UTC (link)
An excellent question, Mister Boot. Slytherin is losing points because Professor Snape, the Slytherin Head Of House, wrote the postcard.

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[info]terryclothrags
2004-12-28 12:16 pm UTC (link)
You didn't answer my question, Professor.

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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-28 12:20 pm UTC (link)
That is a most astute observation, Mister Boot. 5 points to Ravenclaw.

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[info]tart_in_tartan
2004-12-28 05:13 pm UTC (link)
Apparently not often enough, Albus. Really, do you think five points sufficient? Perhaps an automatic loss of the House Cup would be more fitting.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-28 06:33 pm UTC (link)
Oh, do you think causing Lucius Malfoy to be "plagued with a dreadful case of hives" is worth some points?

Professor McGonagall gave us points for things away from school!

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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-28 11:34 pm UTC (link)
If you must ask whether something is worth points earned, Miss Weasley, my answer is no.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-28 11:41 pm UTC (link)
But! I wanted to make sure you knew about it! I think it's worth points but I wasn't going to declare, Professor Dumbledore, I think I've done something that's worth points so could I have some please.

What about sweets? Or applause? Or a thumbs-up?

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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-29 02:46 am UTC (link)
Excuse me Miss Weasley, I am most busy taking a bath. Perhaps you should take this up with your Head of House.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-29 03:51 am UTC (link)
Yes, sir, I think I will.

PROFESSOR MCGOOONAAAGAAAAAAAAALL!!!

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[info]tart_in_tartan
2004-12-29 04:01 am UTC (link)
Five points to Gryffindor for putting up with the Headmaster's orneriness, Ginny dear.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-29 04:04 am UTC (link)
Thank you, Professor McGonagall.

What do you think of giving Lucius Malfoy hives?

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[info]tart_in_tartan
2004-12-29 04:08 am UTC (link)
I think it could only improve his appearance. Really, at his age the monochromatic colorlessness is rather horrifying. One would think a man of his breeding would pay more attention to such things.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-29 04:12 am UTC (link)
Isn't it? And when you put him in, say, black hooded robes, it makes it seem like his head's just floating there.

I'm lucky to have such vibrant hair!

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[info]tart_in_tartan
2004-12-29 04:17 am UTC (link)
If he were, by chance, going to a masquerade ball, he'd hardly have need of a mask, you know.

And your hair is lovely, Ginny dear.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-29 04:57 am UTC (link)
Why, funny you would mention that, as he seems to like masks outside of balls! Hmmm, curious isn't it?

And thank you, Professor McGonagall!

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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-29 07:12 am UTC (link)
Four points from Gryffindor for insulting the Headmaster, Minerva. One more point for making me take points from Gryffindor.

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[info]tart_in_tartan
2004-12-29 03:55 am UTC (link)
Really, Albus. We need to work on your subtlety.

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[info]albuspresley
2004-12-29 04:34 am UTC (link)
I am certain that it was right amount of subtety for Miss Weasley, Minerva.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-28 05:23 am UTC (link)
They can't expect gifts when they don't do it where the rest of us can see it.

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[info]paparazzi_colin
2004-12-28 10:46 am UTC (link)
Honestly I'm glad they didn't do it in front of the rest of us, it would have been really disturbing!!!!

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[info]tart_in_tartan
2004-12-28 05:03 pm UTC (link)
Really, Mr. Creevey. She was referring to the ceremony. They are entirely too old for such childish exhibitionism.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-28 06:35 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, Professor McGonagall!

The wedding is what they get gifts for, not the consummation! We don't need to see that!

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[info]paparazzi_colin
2004-12-29 06:18 am UTC (link)
But I was talking about the wedding....

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[info]tart_in_tartan
2004-12-28 05:10 pm UTC (link)
Precisely, Ginny dear. Note there was no mention of gift giving or a retraction of billing for money lost on clothes, transportation, or toasters.

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[info]waitingfortom
2004-12-28 06:11 pm UTC (link)
If they wanted to elope, they could've just done it in the first place instead of getting all of us ready for a wedding.

I suppose they were trying to avoid conflict by eliminating the ceremonial stuff, like needing their friends around. But still. Marriage involves compromise, right, and they couldn't even start off with one!

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[info]vacuousbeefcake
2004-12-28 03:42 pm UTC (link)
They eloped? But I wanted to give away the bride! I can't believe they had the unbridled audacity... the unmitigated gall to...

er...

Who am I?

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[info]tart_in_tartan
2004-12-28 04:56 pm UTC (link)
You are a foreign missionary, of course! Do you not remember? You're scheduled to leave immediately on assignment to a small wizarding community located on a small island in the middle of the Pacific. Something about helping them overcome their fear of apparation. Needless to say you'll be traveling by platypus. Good luck, old chap.

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[info]vacuousbeefcake
2004-12-28 05:52 pm UTC (link)
Why thank you, Deputy Headmistress.

Wait a minute... I remembered who you are. I've got my memory back! My name is Gilderoy Lockhart and I used to teach the Defense Againsrt the Dark Arts at... er...

Platupus, you said? Hmmm... I'll get right on it.

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[info]tart_in_tartan
2004-12-29 04:01 am UTC (link)
You do that, Gilderoy dear.

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[info]stolen_marbles
2004-12-28 06:22 pm UTC (link)
Isn't the plural of platypus platypi?

It sounds like a kind of food they might serve you in Patagonia or somewhere like that.

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