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LiveJournal for we.are.going.home. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Sunday, January 21st, 2007

Subject: HELLO EVERYONE Posted by: kharmacreature. Time: 11:45 pm.

I bring the message to you that we have changed forums neurotic_bettys is now: neurotic_minds reason for this change is... i'm hoping to recruit more people, including boys/men and not leaving them out. i'm hoping this community will be more popular and we can work through things together. PLEASE JOIN US ♥ ♥ ♥

Comments: looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: This is me introducing myself. Posted by: sunshine_pieces. Time: 1:58 pm. Mood: hot. Music: The offspring - Gone away..

I have been neglecting my journal so if you look at it now you may believe I'm not a good journal buddy. But I really am and I've been looking for more interesting people to drag my interest to Livejournal again. It's been a myspace time lately. Lol. I have social anxiety. But I've pretty well gotten that undercontrol. I'm also bi-polar. I had a really rapid cycle in highschool. But that too has calmed down with becoming...grown. And I kind of think it was a mis-diagnosis. I think I have BPD but I can't afford to go see a head shrinker anymore to find out for sure. So...yeah. I used to be a cutter. I'm a compulsive over-eater. I had a gastric bypass two years ago and have been doing really well but I still have the whole addicted-to-food thing going on... kind of. I'm twentyone. I live in Minnesota. I dont really care to make a list of likes and dislikes cause both are vast... so if you wanna know more about me please by all means add me. I like to comment on other peoples journals too.

Comments: 5 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: Summertime Posted by: kharma_creature. Time: 1:25 am. Mood: here. Music: crickets.

How's this summer going for you so far? Have you participated in anything fun and exciting? Gone on any vacations - created - sung - danced? What is one or three things that has made you happy this summer? mine is... going by very quickly.. i've been sleeping way too much.. haven't created as much as i've wanted to - but have been reading the tarot more often and participating in festivals.. and something that has made me happy this summer is a blossoming friendship with a girl whom i adore.

Comments: 2 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Posted by: maidenus. Time: 5:55 pm. Mood: rejected.

I just feel so sick inside.... Why is it that people can be so cold hearted?

Comments: 3 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Posted by: kharma_creature. Time: 7:10 am. Mood: awake. Music: cold - a different kind of pain.

where has everyone gone? i guess i'll write a little bit about where i'm at... ( ED/SI )

Comments: 4 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: Lookie Lookie!!! Posted by: kharma_creature. Time: 5:35 am. Mood: calm.

NEW LAYOUT colors and pictures and such... come check it out~ and girls.. remember - post about anything and everything - relating to how you are, what you are going through.. whether good or bad.. we are all about support here. Love and Light, Kharma

Comments: looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: H-E-L-L-O Posted by: kharma_creature. Time: 4:10 am. Mood: cold. Music: jem - missing you.

Hey ladies - dear starseeds... how are you all doing? Please let us know.

Comments: 7 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: chakra bar & icons Posted by: kharma_creature. Time: 11:45 am. Mood: exhausted. Music: james blunt - you're beautiful.

i thought that these would do well here in the community... i'm interested in studying the chakras/energy centers... thought some of you might be interested as well. chakra bar chakra icons - no particular order

Comments: 4 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: so yea.. here and here.. Posted by: insaneconstruct. Time: 7:20 am. Mood: confused. Music: martina sorbara - bonnie & clyde II.

i break apart.. a broken doll.. a forgotten doll.. just lingering.. whaiting for the time that someone would be interested in me again... but i am not wanted ... i am not wanted.. what does one do when they are not wanted.. do they pack their belongings and say.. goodbye, have a nice life? . . . . . i can't do this... what can i do.. yes yes.. something.. something.. yes. (this is also kharma_creature) everyone else doing alright.. *love*

Comments: 4 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: hello everyone Posted by: kharma_creature. Time: 4:00 am. Mood: blank. Music: tori.

i'm sorry i haven't really done much with the community.. i guess i've felt broken.. or busy.. i can't seem to find the right graphics at the moment.. i'll get to it soon.. i'd like to see more activity here - and see what everyone is up to and how you are feeling. (happy new year - what are some of your resolutions?)

Comments: 2 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: *seriously stressed* Posted by: midnytserenade. Time: 8:31 pm. Mood: complacent. Music: I'm in love with my car//Queen//A Night at the Opera.

Hey, I'm having problems, and strangely they aren't coming from PTSD like they normally do. Rather, they come from an ex who's trying to act as neurotic as I am. He won't leave me alone. He gives me weepy-weepies all the time, such as this message he sent me earlier today (or rather a Christmas-ruining conversation on ms): From: AJ Date: Dec 23, 2005 6:29 PM hey ... havn't heard from you in awhile .. not sure if your avoiding me or just can't find the time. I've noticed your still boyfreind/ girlfriend deprived .... for once I wish I had flunkeded but oh well. Thinkgs are bound to look up soon for you I hope. ^^ I know you can try to make them better, so they will.... As it stands I'll take my last question towards you, as in coming to the mall as a No. Well Anyways I guess I'll see you around , and hopfully before break is over, I wanta give you your gift ^^ From: toastgasms Date: Dec 25, 2005 7:34 PM it's called I haven't felt like getting on. Too busy reading and listening to Queen. And of course it's a no. You know that I'm not allowed to see you outside of school and have decided to maintain that. From: AJ Date: Dec 25, 2005 7:56 PM ... do you dislike my precents that much .... tell the truth From: toastgasms Date: Dec 25, 2005 8:04 PM AJ, honestly, you act like I'm constantly slapping you across the face. See, you keep on acting like you're the victim. Read both of the messages you just sent me; you are making me sound like a god damned monster who's constantly yelling at you. Besides, you know that I can't go to the mall with you. From: AJ Date: Dec 25, 2005 8:11 PM your no monster .... in fact .... honestly I feel I am the monster hahaha. to be perfectly honest I knew you'ld say no and I just feel .... 8sigh* its my lack of confidence again saying you'll be happier with out me ... so you not liking me any more means you might find a better life. I'm sorry if I come off as putting you down I just .... * he looks up at her* I just want you to be happy and to know how you feel. Those are my greatest worries. I'm sorry for sounding so rude. From: toastgasms Date: Dec 25, 2005 8:23 PM Well, then, stop it. Because if I don't pay any attention to you you act like I'm purposely completely ignoring you, and that's silly counting that we aren't together anymore. From: AJ Date: Dec 25, 2005 yah I know ... and I'm sorry. I guess you didn't read my bullition. I'm kinda lonly so I guess I'm letting it stress me if you don't .... and I knwo if I ever want you back i'll have to wait anyways. ... well on a diffrent note I hope your boyfriend search goes well. You'll find a good guy . Hell you'll find one 100 times better then me I bet See, that's not really the worst of it; he's constantly trying to get back together, and is always trying to get me to pity him and making it sound like he's the victim. Since I barely see him at all, I just don't get online some days, and purposely avoid him; am I doing something wrong? Because he knows that I'm sensitive, and always have been after the.... stuff. He's been trying to ask me back out even though we've only been apart since September, and I explicitly told him that I had no wish to get back together right away, or at least not for a number of years. Am I doing something wrong or something?

Comments: 5 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: Hi there Posted by: midnytserenade. Time: 8:02 pm. Mood: hopeful. Music: just some soft Italian.

Well hm I did indeedums join this community a day or two ago, but kinda forgot. Anyhow, yeah, I'm here now, so hello. Hm yush I have that "wonderful" disease PTSD or whatever the hey, but after therapy things were boarderline for a while. Anywho just thought I'd give a brief intro (I'm horrid at these)

Comments: 1 peer -looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: Oh God...please no. Posted by: jeffys_gurl27. Time: 8:25 pm. Mood: relieved. Music: Strawberry Gashes - JOJ.

I went for a long drive today, trying to get a piece of mind... ( I am jeffys_gurl27's Trigger-Happy livejournal cut ) I'm sorry, I'm soooooooo long-winded. ((x-posted in my community marked_helpless))

Comments: 2 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: come on - share! Posted by: kharma_creature. Time: 11:50 am. Mood: tired. Music: ella fitzgerald.

have you guys read any good books this summer? if so what are they? how have they impacted your life? i've read - the celestine prophecy & the tao of pooh (i'm just now getting into this reading thing - don't know why i haven't before now) the celestine prophecy is helping me understand the world/and my world better - it's opened up my mind and heart to love... i highly suggest it for everyone/anyone! the tao of pooh is very cute - simple - and has helpful advice in it for living.. now come on and share with us - it can be any book - just something that touched you personally. :)

Comments: looking-inside-your-soul.

Subject: breakthrough Posted by: obsesscompulse. Time: 5:41 pm. Mood: blah. Music: Bitch And Animal - Miss Me My Dear.

i am having a major problem right now, and would very much appreciate any support, comfort, opinions or advice anyone has. i have been on anti-depressant medication since i was 14... in and out of hospitals... and just generally been through a lot. now i find myself in a healthy enough headspace where i can finally get off of paxil, a drug i have been on for a long time, and one that i feel has done more damage than good. i am going through acupuncture, massage therapy, and counseling weekly. i am on vitamins and homeopathic supplements. i am coming off this drug properly - going off paxil can include severe symptoms such as lapsing into comas, so it is important to go off slowly and with support. withdrawal is hell - immense physical and emotional discomfort. but i want to do this because i know in the long run i'll feel better. i am currently unable to have sex. firstly, i feel no sexual urges or sensations, which is a very normal symptom, and secondly, i am so ill and dizzy that i doubt i could get through sex without puking. my partner and i have not had sex in a few months. and this is where the problem is. korbin talks to me about sex everyday... about how much they want it, how i can't give it to them. it often reduces me to tears, because i feel sex is more important to them than my mental health. i understand that when in love with a person, sex is amazing and a totally important and vital part of a relationship. but, to me, i think love is stronger than sex. is this wrong? is it wrong for me to expect korbin to respect and support me through this without constantly hounding me about what a shame i am that i am incapable of giving them sex? i am in tears because they want to break up with me because, namely, i am selfish. i am selfish because i cannot give them sex because i cannot feel any sex drive. i am selfish because i am trying to look after myself through this process and can't go partying with them becase loud music and bright lights make me sick to my stomach and induce a headache. they keep telling me how selfish i am and about how i can't be in a relationship... and getting mad when i ask them to please, just take care of themselves. stop worrying so much about me and us and just relax and take care of yourself. they won't though. they seem fixated on not taking care of themselves in order to blame me - saying i am selfish and won't look after them, won't put out, etc. i am a mess. if anyone has been through anything similar... please. i would just like some support right now.

Comments: 7 peers -looking-inside-your-soul.

LiveJournal for we.are.going.home. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.