adjectif ([info]adjectif) wrote in [info]mtf,
@ 2005-04-03 01:42:00
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On names…
Hi, I'm looking for some advice on naming. I haven't selected a female name yet. I have the option of selecting a female name that has the same nickname as my male name. Good idea? Bad idea?

As I'm only known by my nickname this would one less thing for folks to get used to. Heck, it's one less new thing for _me_ to get used to.

On the other hand, it seems to me that it might simply allow them to pretend that it's not happening, screw up pronouns, etc.

Still, it does seem like the path of maximum laziness and if there's anything I've learned, it's that the path of maximum laziness is the path most often followed.

Thoughts?

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[info]rayebs
2005-04-03 07:06 am UTC (link)
I know my girl took the female name 'given' to her, which was her nik. A friend always call *cough* him by the name of connie so when she decided to identify herself with a female name, it was no other option than that. It is easiy enough to pull off around those who know her that she is still in the closet about, cuz people often called her connie anyways.

and ex roomie of mine just had the name shout out to her when she was thinking of it. it just said, "look, i'm Krystal, with a k. NO questions, how could you even think about a different name, i'm right here" and that was that. We often called her kris around others cuz that was good and gender neutral.

I say, weather it is your nick or not, what ever name says :this is who you are, this is your name: is your name. Let it speak to you.

to find one, i would suggest looking thru a baby book, find some meanings and what not. think of yourself and what qualities you feel. We looked in a baby listing of names to find a different name for my girl's middle. we settled on alyse.

good luck!

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[info]adjectif
2005-04-03 07:38 am UTC (link)
It is easiy enough to pull off around those who know her that she is still in the closet about, cuz people often called her connie anyways.
Yeah, this was basically the advantage that I was seeing.
I say, weather it is your nick or not, what ever name says :this is who you are, this is your name: is your name. Let it speak to you.
Were but it so easy. ^^ If a name truly jumped out at me then I'd have no moment of pause. Lacking that, it feels somewhat arbitrary– I am not a name– so I guess I'm really just checking to see if anyone would recommend against it.
We looked in a baby listing of names to find a different name for my girl's middle.
For my middle name I'll likely just take my mother's middle name as I currently have my father's and the symmetry pleases me.

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[info]chirik
2005-04-03 07:51 am UTC (link)
For me, there really was no question. I spent some time going through lists of names, thinking about what name to take, but I already knew the answer. I've known, as long as I can remember, that I was Jennifer. I don't think I found out until later, but it turns out it is the name I would have been given, too.

For a middle name, I'm probably taking my mom's name. It works well.

I can only say that when you find your name, you'll know it. It should click in a way that other names do not. Good luck.

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Names
[info]jaquiregina
2005-04-03 08:48 am UTC (link)
Every person I know who has transitioned has had a unique experience discovering their name. Some take a family name, others find someone they admire, some have just known it all their lives. I have a love of words, and I like to look at the meanings and origins of words so my technique was unique. My male name came from the Hebrew Jacob, or the supplanter, one who takes another's place. If you change it to french and feminize it, it becomes Jacqueline. Although four of my great grandparents came from Ireland, the French nuns I had in grammar school pointed out the Norman origins of my name by always spelling my last name in the French manner:NuGent. Literally, that means "new person". I chose a middle name that matched my original middle initial, and one that I felt empowered me, Regina, or queen. I am new made into myself, taking the place of the old me, and having more power to live and control my own life. My name speaks to that, and empowers me every time I speak it. I believe that when you find your name, it will empower you, no matter what technique you use to choose it.

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[info]teichan
2005-04-03 09:00 am UTC (link)
I've always found people that use their old name when deciding on their 'new' name to be a bit. . well, stereotypical. "I used to be Michael, but now I'm Michelle!" "Christine used to be Christopher until she. . " Et cetera, et cetera. I'd say avoid doing that, and just go with a name that fits you best. There really isn't a right or wrong answer.

*lack of eloquent word-play causes this comment to self-combust.*

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[info]jennyemily
2005-04-03 12:12 pm UTC (link)
I know a lot of people who have purposefully picked names that are either femminised versions of their old name (in the case of MTF) or masculinised versions (in the case of FTM). However I myself had a completely different name in mind since well before I can remember. My old first name was Richard (presumably which would have made me Rachel if I had femminised it?) but I always loved the name Jennifer, so always adopted that instead. I write books as a hobby, so for quite a few years I used the name Jenny Emily as a pen name. When I finally changed my name by deedpoll, there were no longer any questions or debates in my mind - I guess they'd been done many years ago - that was the name that I was known as since I came out, and had been living as for a number of months. It also seems to be a name that bizarrely (and completely unrelated) crops up amongst many of my friends who are trans: either it is their new name or middle name, or alternatively it was their name before they transitioned.

A name is a personal thing though, and one which really would need a lot of thought. Chose one that you like and are happy with. As others have suggested; 'naming baby' books are a good source for inspiration. At the end of the day it has to be a name that you are comfortable being called for the rest of your life.

Good luck!

*hugs*



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[info]chirik
2005-04-04 02:51 am UTC (link)
It's not really that surprising that Jennifer is a popular name among transgendered individuals - it was the single most common girls' name in the 70s, and second most common in the 80s.

Oddly enough, I hated how common my given name was during school - it was one of the top10 names - in a class of 25 boys, 5 would share some form of my name. Yet, here I am, Jennifer - a name even more common than the one I grew up with.

Of course, on the other hand, noone thinks twice about a 30 year old girl named Jennifer.

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[info]adjectif
2005-04-04 05:55 am UTC (link)
Interesting. My parents had both male and female names picked out prior to my birth– Jennifer was the female name they had selected.

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(Anonymous)
2005-04-03 10:24 pm UTC (link)
http://behindthename.com

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[info]mon462
2005-04-04 03:15 am UTC (link)
I would have to agree to choose a name that you feel fits you best. My male name is not uncommon, but my parents used a European spelling that is uncommon in the US (they are from Germany). I did a similar thing when I chose my female name. As for a middle name, as a female I don't use one.

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[info]pdxkate
2005-04-04 07:16 pm UTC (link)
My given name is Christopher. It means christ bearer. I am extremely anti-christian and I've always been aware of how painfully common the name chris is. I have considered using a feminine version of chris, since that's the name that I use (christopher is way too long and goofy). But I don't like any of the feminine versions except just Kris. Kate I use online because it's only four letters and since I don't identify with it it gives me a degree of anonymity. I dont think I would use kate as my real name. I have no idea what Im going to end up calling myself. I want to get away from the religous bullshit and find something with real meaning... sad. Maybe I'll find out what mom and dad would have named me if I were a girl and smudge something together from that. Have to tell dad first though... which is impossible currently.

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(Anonymous)
2005-04-06 09:30 am UTC (link)
I played with the 'what would my parents have named me' route... Only they ended up giving that name to my younger sister anyway, so that might have been a bit much...

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[info]serendipitygirl
2005-04-06 10:01 am UTC (link)
I suppose I fall into the camp of "have always known"; I do have a recollection, albeit a vague one, that the name my parrents (er, okay, mother; the father was rather ocd about having a boy *snark*) had decided on was Wendy - or so goes the thought.
I *have* been wondering about conventions for the middle name of late - out of some sense of family continuity or something I've decided to try to go with a varient of my own middle name since deciding to actually begin transition, but I've yet to find a feminine varient of "David" that actually feels right.
Either way, follow your heart and go with what works for ye.

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