the further adventures of ipod sestina ([info]insafemode) wrote in [info]mock_the_stupid,
@ 2004-03-10 09:04:00
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Giggles and her boyfriend arrived in the restaurant I work at, just before I was to go home for the evening. They took a seat in my section and informed me that they were waiting for six of their friends to show up. They ordered two waters (of course), and said they wanted bread on the table at all times. I got the feeling there were no other friends showing up, and that they were on some sort of prison diet.

An hour later the friends showed up, all talking on their various cell phones, and shaking their heads and shushing me every time I went to their table to ask if they were ready to order.

Giggles was the Alpha Bitch. When she was ready to order she yelled my name across the restaurant. The table ordered a plate of Cheese Fries, two salads, and a bowl of Clam Chowder.

Someone had rung in a Cheese Fries by mistake earlier, so there was an order sitting in the window when I got into the kitchen. Since I wanted to get these people out of the restaurant as soon as possible, I brought it right out to them. I then went back to the kitchen to wait for the salads and soup.

Just as the salads were coming out, one of my coworkers rushed into the kitchen and said I was needed at my table immediately.

Giggles was no longer chattering with her boyfriend, or their assorted friends. Her lips were sneered so high that I couldn't see her nose, and I'm reasonably sure there was steam coming from her eyes.

"Sir," she snorted "I usually don't like to complain" *cough* YEA, Right. "but I have never been so disgusted in my life. The clam chowder you brought out is cold, has no clams in it, and the portion is ridiculously small. I demand a refund, AND I want to see the manager. There is no excuse for such horrible food."

I did my best to keep my polite customer-service smile as I said "Miss, that's not clam chowder, it's ranch dressing."


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[info]gothhippiegrrl
2004-03-10 06:50 am UTC (link)
LMFAO!

I think this is one of the best ones I've read here!!!!

(Reply to this)


[info]alainn_sorcha
2004-03-10 06:52 am UTC (link)
That is the greatest thing I've read all morning.

I bet that almost made it worth having to stay to wait on her sororityfied ass. ;)

(Reply to this)


[info]yunalesca78
2004-03-10 06:57 am UTC (link)
*dies laughing*

Serves her right for being such a troll. :D

(Reply to this)


[info]abiona_sashenka
2004-03-10 07:01 am UTC (link)
MAJOR props to you for keeping a straight face!

And this is, by far, one of the best stories I've heard in weeks.

(Reply to this)


[info]autumnsfire
2004-03-10 07:02 am UTC (link)
Wow. Just..wow.
What was her reaction?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]insafemode, 2004-03-10 07:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tviokh, 2004-03-10 08:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]insafemode, 2004-03-10 08:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alcarilinque, 2004-03-10 10:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]euterpe35, 2004-03-13 10:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alcarilinque, 2004-03-13 10:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sableagle, 2004-03-13 04:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alcarilinque, 2004-03-13 07:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]superlelu, 2004-04-13 05:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]autumnsfire, 2004-03-10 09:27 am UTC

[info]skysnotsoempty
2004-03-10 07:09 am UTC (link)
bahahahahhahaha!

you, sir, are awesome

(Reply to this)


[info]jovial_kitten
2004-03-10 07:09 am UTC (link)
hahaha.
man I would have smacked her for you if i was there.
sure i would have been arrested for assault but it would have been worth it just to smack her upside the head and comment on her stupidity.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]evil_kc, 2004-03-10 10:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jovial_kitten, 2004-03-10 05:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]insafemode, 2004-03-10 06:51 pm UTC

[info]buzz
2004-03-10 07:14 am UTC (link)
I am now going to have a smile on my face all day after reading that. Thank you :)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]insafemode, 2004-03-10 07:50 am UTC

[info]napoleonkomplex
2004-03-10 07:14 am UTC (link)
*FALLS OVER laughing* XD Serves the dumb cunt right!

(Reply to this)


[info]linguafranca
2004-03-10 07:15 am UTC (link)
BUUURRN!

(Reply to this)


[info]kelly_rose
2004-03-10 07:17 am UTC (link)
HA! How could they mistake the two! They're not even the same color! Seriously! Ranch is white with greenish specks, and Clam chowder is off-white and chunky!

Some people shouldn't be allowed out of a box.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]entr0ki, 2004-03-15 02:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kelly_rose, 2004-03-15 05:00 am UTC

[info]cuneiforms
2004-03-10 07:27 am UTC (link)
I want to know too. What did she say after you told her it was ranch dressing???

Do tell!

(Reply to this)


dpaul007
2004-03-10 07:36 am UTC (link)

PWNED.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]devolve_absolve, 2004-03-10 08:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lazarina, 2004-03-10 12:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - dpaul007, 2004-03-10 12:17 pm UTC

[info]67threnody
2004-03-10 07:41 am UTC (link)
That is priceless.

Tell us what her (and the table's) response was.

Should have brought the manager over, allowed Alpha Bitch to repeat her complaint in front of the manager, and *then* told her it was Ranch dressing.

Heh. This is great.

(Reply to this)


[info]antigone_ks
2004-03-10 08:45 am UTC (link)
Oh, this is fantastic. Just made my day :)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]insafemode, 2004-03-10 08:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mydarkstar, 2004-03-13 12:46 pm UTC

[info]dreama
2004-03-10 08:48 am UTC (link)
ROFLMAO! Oh this was good.

It reminds me of this complete ditzy-bitchy-bimbo a few of my friends used to invite out with us to eat. She complained she didn't know what she wanted one night, so someone suggested to her "How about some Buffalo Wings?"

Her response? "I don't like buffalo."

I still laugh thinking about it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]insafemode, 2004-03-10 08:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreama, 2004-03-10 09:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]entr0ki, 2004-03-15 02:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cynicalgrey, 2004-03-10 09:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]insafemode, 2004-03-10 09:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackjackrocket, 2004-03-10 12:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cynicalgrey, 2004-03-10 01:00 pm UTC

[info]stagelight311
2004-03-10 09:04 am UTC (link)
Hahaha! Priceless, absolutely priceless!

(Reply to this)


[info]banshee384
2004-03-10 09:10 am UTC (link)
when people get sides of ranch dressing, doesn't it normally come in one of those little tiny dipping cup thingys? how the hell could she mistake that for a BOWL of clam chowder?

the stupid, it hurts

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]insafemode, 2004-03-10 09:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]67threnody, 2004-03-10 09:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mattiecamp, 2004-03-10 09:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]banshee384, 2004-03-10 02:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackbird__fly, 2004-03-10 09:28 pm UTC

[info]pyrobaby
2004-03-10 09:27 am UTC (link)
Oh my god, that's BEAUTIFUL. I'm gonna be laughing all day thanks to that story. XD I just wish I could've seen the table when she took her ranch, put a spoon in it, and tried to eat it like chowder, though...*dies*

(Reply to this)


[info]codeman38
2004-03-10 09:42 am UTC (link)
Clam chowder... ranch dressing... ::blinkblink:: ...how could anyone manage to mistake one for the other? ::facepalm::

(Reply to this)


silvertigress
2004-03-10 10:03 am UTC (link)
Ohhh this is rich, no pun intended. It was the first thing putting a smile on my face all day

(Reply to this)


[info]evil_kc
2004-03-10 10:20 am UTC (link)
That was just great!
Thanks for making me smile today!

(Reply to this)


[info]gonzo_md
2004-03-10 11:23 am UTC (link)
best....story....EVAR!!!!


Server 1, Stupid Bitch Customer 0.

(Reply to this)


[info]xstandonatablex
2004-03-10 11:56 am UTC (link)
Ha. Ha ha. That's awesomely stupid.

(Reply to this)


ex_poloemily361
2004-03-10 12:29 pm UTC (link)
wow :)

(Reply to this)


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