| okay |
[21 Jan 2008|05:06pm] |
this is more of a coat check story, but whaddayagunnado? to entice you to read it, let me say that it involves a gold tooth
So, a few weeks ago, I'm in my lovely domain, checking lots of black coats at NWC. So, this guy comes up to coat check, checks in his coat, and says "You are SO beautiful". I smile and say "Thank you!" He walks away, and I'm realllly relieved.
Flash forward to about 2:30 am. He comes to get his coat, gives me a five dollar tip, and says again "You are just SO beautiful". Again. I say thanks. Ten minutes later, he comes back. He says (very drunkenly) "I'm sorry to bother you, it's just...it's just...you were here at my birthday, and ....I'm sorry that I'm in love with you!" Awkward silence. He goes away. He (of course) comes back in another ten minutes, and says "Hey. Uhhhh. I lost my gold tooth."
me: "Maybe you should try to find a flashlight and find your gold tooth."
him: "No, it's okay, I have another one." (he pops out his gold tooth cap and extends his hand towards me with the gold tooth in it). See? It's real gold.
me: "Ooooookay. I'm not gonna touch that, dude."
him: don't you have soap and hot water back there?"
me: "no."
so, he folds up the tooth in a flyer and pushes it across the counter towards me and walks off, after saying one last time "It's real gold."
Awesome.
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| Mikey! Mikey! Mikey! MIKEY! |
[03 Jan 2008|03:45pm] |
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I love finding MCs for peeps I know!
This officially has made my afternoon!
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/mis/527333799.html
was she cute??
Or was it a dude?
They didn't list it in the ad, and I know how much them grizzley's desire the Mikeytown.
^____^
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| a moment of silence, please |
[29 Jan 2007|10:54pm] |
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070125/od_nm/australia_gnomes_dc_1
SYDNEY, Jan 25 (Reuters Life!) - It's being called the "Gnomesville Massacre" and emergency workers in Western Australia are offering a reward for the capture of vandals who smashed their way through a local tourist attraction.
An unknown number of attackers lopped off the heads or smashed several dozen of the pot-bellied statues this week at Gnomesville, a collection of more than a 1,000 colorful characters deep in a forest south of Perth.
"We are incensed by the damage done to the gnomes and willing to pay a reward to catch the culprits," State Emergency Service Volunteer Association President Phillip Petersen told Reuters.
Six orange-colored gnomes depicting emergency workers were among those destroyed, Petersen said, adding the reward was A$500 ($390).
The population of Gnomesville has grown from a handful of statues placed covertly in the forest a few years ago, making it a popular stop off for tour buses visiting nearby vineyards.
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| oh my god |
[13 Jan 2007|06:16am] |
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I saw more puke come out of one person tonight than I have ever seen before in my entire life. I swear to god, there must have been three gallons of the stanky, stanky "I just ate garlicky chili cheese fries and drank beer" puke, in a trail from coat check to the lounge. They were, like, running and puking. It was a trail of little heaps, about 25 feet long.
Even after I cleaned it with spill magic AND 409 AND sprayed lysol a million times- it still stank.
And I almost added to it myself, especially when I had to get the stuff off the wall that I couldn't scoop up.
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| Please, gnomes, get me drunk... |
[07 Dec 2006|12:04pm] |
I haven't tossed out a drunk or cleaned up puke in many months. So I come here not to share stories, but to seek advice from the San Francisco gnomes. The girlfriend and I are going to be in SF in one week and want to know some good places to drink. I've never been, so hopefully some of the locals can help me out.
We're staying around Union Square, which appears to be the mecca of tourists, and a "destination bar" is probably not exactly what we would enjoy. We tend to like bars that are somewhat mellow -- if people go to try to spot celebrities, I'm probably not interested. Instead, who's got a great beer selection? What's a nice little dive that we can drink cheap and play some darts (or better yet - pinball)? Who's got a good jukebox? If the girl wants to go listen to dance music, where won't suck my soul? Any places to avoid?
When's last call? And is it like Chicago in that there are after-hours licenses? (If so, where's a good after-hours bar?)
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| desperately seeking... |
[28 Jul 2006|06:09pm] |
a BARTENDER
Because one guy has naked women to hit on, literally *smack* and another is just a flake, we are desperately seeking a last minute bartender.
I put out a few inquiries earlier and got no response from my regular dependables :(
I won't dress up the job any, it is at the BOONDOCKS. If you can pour a Henny and coke, you are qualified. If you can pour a Liquid Cocaine, you are over qualified. But its cash tonight.
If anyone is interested, or knows anyone who would be interested, please call me, Patricia, at 415-424-1822 or reply to this post.
Thanks
*edit - Tonight has been covered, but anyone who would like to be on call for future events, please email me - pygmalionslj@yahoo.com
I will keep your # and call you. Maybe even for tomorrow :)
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[02 Apr 2006|07:05am] |
Wow, someone puked on a kiosk keyboard tonight.
Usually, when people feel like vandalizing the computers, they just knock the keys out.
some bastard also stole $30 from the coat check tip jar.
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| Just checking to see: |
[03 Dec 2005|04:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Singing along to: Boa- No. 1 (Japanese Version) |
] |
EDIT: Nevermind. see you all tonight + puke!
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| Lift |
[18 Oct 2005|08:09pm] |
someone else noticed the horrors of Lift. They don't say much about it, because the picture they took says plenty. Now multiply this by 4-5, and swap out the pukers every 30 minutes, and you have a better sense of things.
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| and the night drags on..... |
[02 Oct 2005|08:42pm] |
Technically, this is not a "floor gnome" type bitch, as I am bartending at my little hole away from home tonight. But I wanted to bitch to those who have an understanding of "uck" in the club world.
Its not so bad, getting called to cover at a party just two hours before the shift starts. Its not even that terrible when there is only 10 people who show up, as it gives me a chance to type this.
The bitch of it is, when the manager tells you, oh, by the way, we are open an hour later starting tonight, halfway through the last minute shift with only 10 customers. Who, by the way, do not drink for shit (it is Sunday Blues and Jazz).
Dumb - Dumb - Dumb - Dumb.
My dear waitress (and she is dear, she rocks) is still leaving at ten, as she, if you can imagine, already had life previously planned, and not around making 2 extra dollars. If she is lucky. They tip, maybe, one in ten orders. Seriously.
I am damn bored.
*update
Well, the night manager was quite insistant to my bar manager that we had to stay open that extra hour, though the bar manager thought the owner said only on nights with people here. Now, the promoter has just informed me that she has no intention of staying that long. Ah, the confusion.
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[11 Aug 2005|01:53am] |
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There's a night at the club, where I swear, ever group of patrons must have this conversation at least a few times durring the night.
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[07 Aug 2005|11:36pm] |
On Friday, someone puked in the club after we'd been open less than 50 minutes.
It was chilli.
Someone commented about how the club smelled like Ketchup.
They were right.
Or rather, Tobasco and Somache acid smells together resemble the smell of ketchup.
also play the keep the drunk from puking game
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| When in rome, don't shower |
[17 Jul 2005|05:07am] |
Tonight a new counting system has been deemed necessary.
After the record breaking 24 pukings a few weeks ago that required cleanup, I think we may have an unbeatable record. So we need to start counting somethign else.
Tonight we had a mere 9 pukings.
Well, technically I guess 12 if you count staff cleaning vomit off themselves.
yes, 3 staff got puked on tonight.
One security was standing near a pole and got hit armpit-to-ankle.
One bartender was stationed at the sattelite bar under the stairs, and someone puked throught the slats in the stairs on him.
One security's arm got in between a girl and a garbage can.
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| Looking for Limey |
[12 Jul 2005|02:26pm] |
Kit has brokeded his phone and needs Limey Robs phone #. Anyone have it?
If you do not wish to leave it here, you can email me, joywyn@yahoo.com
--- Patricia
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| a girl and her puke... |
[19 Jun 2005|02:12pm] |
...can never be separated.
last night we broke our record:
24 confirmed pukes.
here's a little puke tale from last night-
girl comes outside
pukes on side walk
dances in puke
falls in puke
has picture taken in puke
and lives happily ever after.
*tear*
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| The Ass of DOOOM! |
[18 Jun 2005|06:01am] |
At the end of the night I went to restock the lounge bathroom.
Upon opening the door, I encountered the single most horrifying shit stench I've ever experienced.
I held my breath, finished restocking, and propped the door open to air it out.
5 minutes later I went back up to the lounge, only to discover that the stench had filled the ENTIRE LOUNGE.
10 minutes after that, the stink was beginning to creep down the back stairs and into the back room.
The scarriest part about all that, is that there was no apparent "Solid Matter" to be spotted in the bathroom, just airbore ass stink.
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| TRAGEDY |
[12 Jun 2005|05:44am] |
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this story is absolutely tragic
i was at work tonight and i saw this poor girl fall in the middle of the dance floor
she was sprawled out on the floor, spread eagle, not moving
she had no shoes on
she was wearing a tube top
not a pretty sight
her friend tried to help her up, but the girl was so fucked up she couldn't walk or stand
she was limp
dead weight
her friend told me that she needed to puke
so we took her to the bathroom
this was difficult because the girl was barely able to stand
we got to the bathroom and instead of throwing up
she pulled her pants down to pee...i guess
her pants were at her knees and she proceeded to fall over the toilet
at this point one of her boobs fell out of the tube top.
there she was, no pants or undies, no shoes, slumped over the toilet, with her boob hanging out-
fucking tragic.
then she manages to stand up
her pants are still down
then she says "look at my bush!"
well, she doesn't so much say it as slur it
but she's talking to me
and she repeats herself "look at my bush!"
she continues, "do i have a big hairy bush?"
she repeats herslef again
"do i have a big hairy bush?"
her friend pulled up her pants for her
because it seemed quite clear that she wasn't going to be able to pee
and she wasn't able to throw up either
we managed to drag her out and i caught her a cab
i'm not sure what she was all fucked up on
she seemed drunk
but she couldn't puke or pee...strange.
i'm pretty sure she wasn't even hip enough to get her hands on some designer drugs
the best part of the story was that all this happened before 11pm!
wow!
i was thinking that maybe it was the first time this girl had EVER been out in her life.
what could her excuse be?
ok, story over
fucking tragic.
BTW- her bush was MONSTROUSLY hairy. *shudders*
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| 2044 words on why Lisette and I hate gum chewers |
[03 Jun 2005|03:14pm] |
Nearly all the gum has been removed from the Club.
Not more than 3 hours after doors had opened, a fresh piece was found stuck under a table.
To make matters worse, the club didn't have a lot of people in it last night.
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