for the "childhood" challenge


Memories of Guns

"I can't wait to find out who she'll be. See her live, grow up. You think she'll be a pilot?"

"She may be."

Wash and Zoe sat on their bed, gazing at the baby girl Wash held cradled in his arms.

"Or she may be a doctor, or a mechanic, or something we don't have on this ship. But she'll be our daughter."

"What'll it be like, growing up here on Serenity? I mean, where I grew up was so far removed from this... I just can't imagine it."


The first time she remembers seeing someone shot is when she was four. She remembers blood on her daddy's shirt, and Kaylee crying. She remembers having her nose pressed up against the window to the infirmary, trying to see what Simon was doing to him. She remembers being tucked into bed that night, and hearing her momma cry when she was pretending to be asleep.

She remembers Momma holding Daddy's hand until he got better.


"You'll find out. It'll be hell, having her crawlin' 'round all over the place. But it'll be great, knowin' that there's not a single soul on Serenity who doesn't love her. She'll learn the things that're important, not the things some guy in a suit thinks she should learn. She'll see the galaxy, when most other kids can only dream about it."

"I could teach her to fly."

"Yeah. Everyone should be able to fly."


The first time she got shot she was eight. Running from someone, she can't remember who, she got hit in the leg. It hurt like hell, and they couldn't get back to Serenity right away. Jayne bandaged it, to make it not bleed so much. She remembers Momma telling her how brave she was. Daddy said how proud he was of her.

She still has the scar. She likes to show it off.


"But what about all the bad stuff?"

"You mean the guns an' the hidin' an' the runnin'?"

Wash nodded.


The first time she shot someone she was eleven. Momma was losing a fight with some man, so she snuck out from her hiding place and took the gun from a dead guy's hand. She hit the attacker in the side of his throat. She was upset because when she practised shooting with Mal she hit her mark better. Momma was upset for some other reason. But the next day Mal gave her her very first gun.

Sometimes she was allowed to go out on jobs after that. It felt good to know that people would trust her with their lives.


"We'll keep her safe."

"We won't be able to do that all the time."

"No. But we'll keep her happy."


Sometimes people ask her if it doesn't bother her to have memories full of guns. She remembers things that didn't involve guns. Sitting down at the table to meals filled with laughter. Kaylee teaching her to make stuffed animals. Daddy's joy the first time she landed Serenity all by herself. Helping the shepherd make pastry for pies. The birth of her baby brother. Beating Jayne at horseshoes. Waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and sitting in the common area with Momma, talking while everyone else slept. Playing dressup in Inara's clothes. Birthday parties; the chocolate her parents somehow managed to find for her every year. Sitting in front of Mal on a gallopping horse, shrieking with laughter. Listening to people's heartbeats with Simon's stethoscope. River telling her bedtime stories.

Hugs, kisses, family, love. A whole bunch of plastic dinosaurs.

The memories of guns don't matter.

She couldn't imagine a happier childhood.


Wash looked at his wife and daughter, both now sound asleep. He kissed them both on the forehead. Then he lay back, imagining the future.

He couldn't wait.



Sort-of sequels:
Everyone Has Nightmares
Flight Of Fancy
Dastardly Dinosaurs