Current mood:

contemplative

Heya party people :)
Ditto other new subscribers comments :)

Also, on the subject of shielding - I've never labelled it as such but I believe I've developed a shield for dealing with large crowds from childhood. Basically I close in on myself - I walk very fast, often head down or determinedly fixed on where I'm going, and I fill my thoughts with myself. I dive into my own thoughts, ponder life the universe and everything, have imaginary conversations with friends, write my next journal edit in my head, anything. When I was at school I used to read a book while walking home. I invariably walk straight past people I know in this state, and have been told off for ignoring friends in the street.

I don't know if this is a good or bad shield, but it works. I couldn't bear to feel what some of you are describing - it's bad enough with just one person draining you with their negativity.

I also have problems with anger, and it's the main reason for the end of my recent relationship. He gets angry (although never directed at me) very quickly, but also just as quickly feels better, after he's had a good rant and strop. I however feel bruised by it, even though I'm never the focus, I still feel drained and it takes me a lot longer to feel good again. And generally I'm quite happy and optimistic - it usually takes a lot to make me depressed and/or angry, and he manages both within minutes! I think if I had to deal with a crowd (especially as most crowds are an irritable, impatient, grumpy bunch of people) I'd burst into tears everytime I went out my front door. I do have difficulty shielding in small group or one-on-one situations though - in that I don't know how to at all!

Thankfully I have friends who give out positive energy, and just being around them uplifts me.

I'm glad to have found this group too. Thanks shimmeringjemmy for starting it :)